No Gentle Possession

by Anne Mather

  Although I was against the idea in the first instance, he wrote, I find myself agreeing with him now. The conveyor belt was a slow-moving vehicle, at best, and it’s much quicker and easier for one man to pick up a couple of bales and deposit them where one wants them. I don’t think I quite understood the idea at first, but now I do. Things are quite amenable between us these days, and every week we have conferences to discuss ideas and manpower situations. This also was Alexis’s idea, and I’m all for it.

  Karen finished the letter and folded it thoughtfully. So it was Alexis now, not that man Whitney! She sighed, and tried not to feel envious. If only her father had been like this in the early days, perhaps things might not have worked out as they did.

  But such thoughts were futile, and she knew it. No matter what happened at the mill, she was still the sub-manager’s daughter, and he was the son of the owner.

  The comprehensive school was due to open two weeks after Easter, and Karen returned home one Thursday afternoon, four days before that event. She needed the week-end to catch up on her work, and she rang the head-master as soon as she got home to make arrangements to see her substitute. She was thinner than she had been before she went away, but at least she had lost that terribly fragile look, and her skin had assumed a warmer glow. The hollows beneath her eyes could not be disguised, however; they were due to the fact that she was sleeping badly, and Laura was most concerned about her.

  ‘I’m sure you’re not well enough to take up teaching!’ she exclaimed, at once.

  ‘The doctor says I’m physically fit,’ returned Karen quietly. ‘Time and work will make me well again, not wasting my time doing nothing.’

  Laura sighed. ‘Well, I don’t agree, and I shall tell that doctor so when I see him.’

  On Sunday, the day before school was due to open, Karen’s parents announced that they were going out for the day.

  ‘But where?’ asked Karen in surprise. She was still in her dressing-gown, sitting at the table drinking her morning cup of coffee.

  ‘I thought we might go to Scarborough,’ said her father thoughtfully. ‘Do you want to come?’

  ‘You know I can’t,’ exclaimed Karen crossly. ‘I told you last night I had lessons to prepare for tomorrow.’

  ‘So you did.’ Her father looked regretful. ‘Well, never mind – you can come with us some other time.’

  Karen, rested her elbows on the kitchen table, cradling the cup in her hands. ‘But what about lunch?’ She looked at her mother. ‘Is there a joint of meat to Cook? Do you want me to make you a meal for when you come home?’

  ‘Heavens, no!’ Her mother shook her head. ‘You just take it easy. We’ll have our lunch out. If you make yourself a snack, we can have a proper meal when I get back.’

  Karen shrugged. ‘All right.’

  But she was disappointed, and they knew it. This was her first Sunday at home for more than three weeks, and before that she had been too ill to care. It seemed mean of them to go off and leave her; but then she chided herself. Why shouldn’t they, after all? Her problems weren’t their problems, and just because she was feeling sorry for herself it didn’t mean that they had to put themselves out to look after her …

  They drove away cheerfully, waving to her as she stood by the door, and then she went back inside and switched on the radio, and tried to tell herself that she would work better without anyone’s interruption.

  She was washing up her coffee cup at the sink before going to get dressed, when the doorbell rang. Sighing, she looked down at her appearance. Whoever could be calling at ten-thirty on a Sunday morning? It could only be Lucy from down the street, her mother’s friend.

  But when she opened the door, she stepped back aghast. Alexis Whitney was leaning negligently against the canopy support, looking lean and attractive in a navy canvas suit with a navy shirt to match. His tawny eyes flickered over her with disturbing appraisal, making her overwhelmingly aware of the limitations of her quilted dressing-gown, and the tangled darkness of her hair. Then he said, ‘Hello, Karen. Can I come in?’

  Karen shook her head slowly, gathering her composure with difficulty. ‘My – my father’s not here. He – he’s gone out for the day – with – with my mother.’

  ‘I know that. I saw them leave,’ remarked Alexis lazily, and stepped into the hall, taking the door from her unresisting fingers and closing it behind him.

  Karen swallowed with difficulty. ‘I don’t know what you think you’re doing—’ she began, but the look in his eyes silenced her.

  ‘I know exactly what I’m doing,’ he replied, with emphasis. ‘Now – can we go into the living-room?’

  Karen made a helpless movement of her shoulders. His unexpected appearance had unnerved her, and she began to appreciate how weak she still was. It actually took a tremendous effort of will power not to make some movement towards him, to touch him, to assure herself that she wasn’t having hallucinations on top of everything else.

  Turning, she led the way into the living-room, automatically bending to pick up a newspaper lying on a chair, to straighten a cushion on the couch. Alexis followed her, tall and disruptive, his presence as always a threat to her peace of mind.

  ‘If – if you’ll excuse me a moment, I’ll go and put on some clothes,’ she murmured awkwardly, but he shook his head.

  ‘Don’t bother. I like you as you are.’

  ‘Maybe you do, but there are neighbours—’

  ‘I don’t particularly care what your neighbours think,’ remarked Alexis, his eyes holding hers. ‘You’re very nervous, Karen. Why?’

  ‘I – I haven’t been well—’

  ‘No, that’s obvious. You’ve lost weight. How are you feeling now?’

  ‘I’m fine.’ Karen drew a shaking breath. ‘I’m going back to work tomorrow.’

  ‘You look very pale,’ said Alexis, standing, feet apart, his arms folded, regarding her. ‘And you’ve dark rings round your eyes. I think you need a holiday, not the arduous duties of a teacher.’

  Karen put up a hand to her hair almost defensively. ‘I know I must look a mess—’ she began.

  ‘I didn’t say that!’

  ‘No, but you meant it,’ Karen shrugged. ‘Besides, I’m not wearing any make-up. It’s amazing what make-up can do—’

  Alexis shook his head impatiently. ‘Oh, Karen, stop talking nonsense! You know perfectly well that I don’t intend to let you go back to work tomorrow – or ever!’ and grasping her shoulders he pulled her towards him.

  Karen’s hands were crushed against his chest as he bent his head to hers, finding the warm, scented skin of her nape with his mouth. Her weakened senses betrayed her then. For so long she had wanted to be where she was now that the idea of resisting didn’t come until later. The warmth and masculinity of him was all about her, the muscles of his thighs were hard against hers, and with a little groan she slid her arms round his waist and lifted her mouth to his.

  The hungry weeks of wanting him, of needing him, of longing to touch him were over and coherent thought dissolved beneath the onslaught of his demands. She wanted to give and give, and although she pressed herself against him it was not close enough. She wanted to be a part of him.

  But then he moved, his hands reaching her forearms, dragging them from around him, and pressing her firmly away from him. He was breathing rather heavily and the tawny eyes were slightly glazed. Only then did Karen realize what she had been doing, how wantonly she had behaved, offering herself to him without thought of denial, seduced by her own desires into complete surrender.

  ‘Karen,’ he began hoarsely, when she wrenched herself away from him, turning her back.

  ‘Don’t say anything!’ she cried, pressing her balled fists to her lips. ‘Just – just go!’

  ‘Karen!’ he said again, and this time there was torment in his voice. ‘Karen, don’t be a fool! I had to push you away, or God help me I’d have been unable to do so! Don’t you know what you’ve done to me?’

  Kar
en was finding it difficult to breathe at all. ‘What – what are you trying to say?’

  Alexis uttered a muffled imprecation and then slid his arms around her from behind, hauling her back against him, holding her there as though he couldn’t bear to let her go. ‘You know I want you,’ he said huskily, his hands probing between the lapels of her dressing-gown. ‘What you don’t seem to be aware of is that I love you. And love is not a word I’ve-used to any woman before.’

  Karen’s body relaxed against his. ‘You – love – me,’ she breathed incredulously.

  ‘Yes. I love you.’ Alexis bent his head and kissed the side of her neck. ‘And holding you like this is killing when I know I can’t make love to you.’

  Karen tried to think. Resting her head back against his chest, she said tremulously: ‘Why can’t you?’

  Now Alexis propelled her away from him again, and she turned to face him in surprise. He took a step backward and dropped down on to the couch, stretching his long legs out before him in an attitude of complete abandon.

  ‘Oh, Karen,’ he said, shaking his head from side to side. ‘Do you know what you’re saying?’

  Karen pressed the palms of her hands to her cheeks to hide their burning. ‘Yes, I know,’ she said.

  Alexis’s eyes narrowed. ‘And you’ve never said that to anyone else before, have you?’

  ‘No!’ She was indignant.

  ‘Good.’ He half smiled. ‘Now – make me some coffee while I try to think of other things.’

  ‘What – other things?’ Karen was perplexed.

  ‘Well, this, for one.’ Alexis drew a document out of his inside pocket and handed it to her. ‘Go on, read it.’

  Karen opened it slowly and then looked up in astonishment. ‘It – it’s a marriage licence!’ she murmured faintly.

  ‘Not a marriage licence – our marriage licence,’ remarked Alexis quietly.

  ‘Ours?’ Karen stared down at the paper in her hand. ‘But – but you haven’t asked me to marry you!’

  ‘Do I have to do that?’ Alexis was ironic.

  Karen made a helpless gesture. ‘I – I don’t know.’

  ‘All right. If that’s what you want.’ He swung himself off the couch and knelt before her on one knee, taking her hand and raising it to his lips. ‘Karen, darling Karen, will you marry me?’

  Karen nodded, looking down at him wonderingly, and suddenly his hands gripped her hips, drawing her down beside him, his mouth finding hers, imprisoning it, bearing her back against the hearthrug with passionate intensity.

  ‘Karen, Karen, Karen,’ he groaned, burying his face in the hollow of her neck. ‘I’ve loved you since the day you tumbled down the mountain and into that snowdrift. I haven’t been able to think of another woman since then, let alone make love to one. You’re under my skin, you disturb my nights, you haunt my days; I don’t think I could live without you now.’

  Karen stroked the hair back from his forehead and tried to believe this was really happening. ‘But – but – you seemed to dislike me. Whenever we were together—’

  ‘Whenever we were together, I had Nichols rammed down my throat,’ said Alexis fiercely. ‘He was your boy-friend, you’d known each other for years, you were going to marry him, while I—’ he shook his head, ‘I wasn’t even welcome in your house.’

  Karen looked up at him lovingly. ‘But, Alexis, you’re different from us. There’s such a gulf between us. How could I take you seriously?’

  ‘You’re taking me seriously now, aren’t you?’ he demanded harshly, and she glimpsed the old arrogance he could display.

  ‘Yes,’ she said, touching his mouth with her fingers. ‘But you’ve got to admit—’

  ‘I admit nothing! How was there a gulf between us? I was born in Wakeley, just as you were. My father worked in the mill, just as your father does. The fact that my father made more money at it is purely coincidental.’

  Karen smiled. ‘You’ve had a very different life from me.’

  ‘I should hope so, too,’ he muttered, putting his lips to the hollow between her breasts. ‘I want to teach you all there is to know about making love. I don’t want anyone else to have touched you.’

  Karen coloured lightly. ‘That sounds rather Victorian.’

  ‘Didn’t you know? Reformed rakes make the most forbidding husbands?’ he mocked her.

  Karen frowned. ‘You made such ridiculous reasons for seeing me. That trip to London, for example.’

  Alexis sighed. ‘That trip to London, as you put it, was a complete fiasco. I engineered it as an exercise where we might be together for forty-eight hours, and what happened? You brought Ray along, and that other girl.’

  ‘You engineered it?’ Karen echoed now. ‘How do you mean?’

  Alexis looked rather sheepish. ‘You don’t think I can’t handle Michelle by now, do you?’

  ‘You mean – you mean – you made it all up?’ Karen stared at him.

  ‘I’m sorry.’ Alexis’s lips curved into a smile.

  ‘But – but at the dance – that announcement!’

  ‘What of it? Everyone knows what Michelle is like. But as a matter of fact, I didn’t rescind it.’

  Karen propped herself up on her elbows. ‘You mean – your father still thinks we’re engaged?’

  ‘Well, aren’t we?’ asked Alexis mockingly, and Karen sank back again helplessly.

  Then another thought struck her. ‘Today, when you came – you said you saw my parents leave. How did you know they were going out?’

  ‘They told me. It was all arranged.’

  ‘You mean – you mean – they know!’

  ‘Well, let’s say they know how I feel.’ His eyes were amused and caressing.

  Karen felt an overwhelming sense of happiness. ‘You told them—’

  ‘—that I wanted to marry you? Right.’

  ‘And – and what did they say?’

  Alexis shrugged. ‘The usual things. Of course, there was one thing.’

  ‘What?’ Karen was vaguely apprehensive.

  ‘Well, I had to explain that I had no intention of going back to London to live. That I intended keeping on with the job at the mill!’

  ‘Oh, Alexis!’ Karen caught her breath. ‘Oh, Alexis, I do love you!’

  ‘I thought it was about time you said that,’ he remarked complacently. ‘By the way, you know what you said about swimming in the Bahamas? Well, it just so happens that my father has a house there. I don’t suppose you’d like to go there for our honeymoon, would you …’

  ISBN: 978-1-4720-9725-5

  NO GENTLE POSSESSION

  © 1980 Anne Mather

  Published in Great Britain 2014

  by Mills & Boon, an imprint of Harlequin (UK) Limited

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