Waterproof

by Garr, Amber

  “Don’t we already have that?” He turned his head to look at me. “I mean, in our group.”

  “I guess we do,” I smiled. Before I could say anything more, I caught movement out of the corner of my eye. Zach and Max ran toward us, arms full and backpacks loaded down with supplies.

  “Must have been a success,” Jackson said. He stood to greet them, ending our brief but insightful conversation.

  Was it worth having a relationship? I already loved the members of my group like my family. Even Trevor, if I had the guts to admit it. If Zach and I gave in to our feelings, would I protect him over the others? Over Hunter?

  I joined the rest of the guys with a false smile and confused heart, determined to set these thoughts far away in the back of my mind.

  FIVE

  Zach

  Two days hiking through the rain were enough to frustrate even me. I doubted Sasha knew where we were headed, but decided to keep my opinion to myself. Morale among the group had been at an all-time low after we lost Alicia and Daric.

  Normally rain would feel refreshing. Back when the world was a different place, it would be a chance to cool off, collect water, or marvel at the way the element seemed to clean even the dirtiest of places. But this rain had changed. What was once nature’s savior was now too acidic to drink and slightly painful on bare skin. I wondered if I’d ever again be able to enjoy those days like my childhood.

  Pulling the hood tighter around my face, I tried to block out the burning liquid and daydreams of times past. Thinking about that only made it worse. With no one left from my family and my group of deserters now down to eight, it felt as if it was only a matter of time before I lost it all.

  Vee turned around and smiled at me. It had always been like she had a sixth sense about my feelings. Every time my mind drifted to unpleasant things, she’d inevitably say something to cheer me up. I returned her smile and hoped she would walk with me. For the last two days, we’d barely spoken to each other. She chose to sleep next to Hunter last night, leaving me cold and alone. I feared my lapse in self-control had tarnished the friendship, even though I knew she’d returned every bit of my affection. But I decided it necessary to give her some time and space. For now.

  I was so wrapped up in my nonsense that I ran into the back of Trevor before I could stop myself. “Hey!” I said.

  “Watch where you’re going, ass,” Trevor spat back.

  “Shut up!” Sasha shushed us and when I looked at her, she motioned us down to the ground.

  Without saying another word, she ran ahead and disappeared over the crest of a small hill. Sasha liked to be in control, and I’d accepted that a long time ago. Plus, Max would stop me if I tried to go after her.

  A few moments later, her head appeared and she motioned us to follow her. The damp forest sent a chill through my bones and I hoped she finally found a place for us to settle down for a while. We hadn’t heard the growling of mercenary engines in days. Perhaps it was time to take another break.

  I let everyone walk ahead of me, checking behind us just in case we were followed. Never in a million years had I expected to be a protector. Now my watchful eye and skills with knives were what helped keep me and the others alive. Once the crunching of leaves from my companions disappeared, I listened to the silence, straining my ears to hear what wasn’t there. The mercenaries.

  “You coming?” Hunter asked. He’d trudged back up the hill looking for me.

  “Right behind you,” I said.

  “Do you hear them?” Hunter’s voice squeaked at the end, either from puberty or fear. I suspected the latter.

  “Not a peep.” I flung my arm over his shoulders and started moving down the slope. “They won’t find us out here anyway.”

  He didn’t speak and I knew Hunter was now too aware of his situation to accept my optimism as truth anymore. I ruffled his hair and he jumped away, smoothing it back into place.

  “Stop messing with my hair,” he said, still making sure each strand had a home.

  “Why? You have a hot date?” Hunter’s face reddened and I laughed. “With who?”

  “Shut up,” he grumbled and ran away from me to join the others. Hunter had a crush on someone, and considering there were limited females in our group, it wouldn’t be hard to narrow down. I’d pick on him later tonight.

  When I finally focused on where Hunter had run off too, I stopped walking. In the middle of the forest sat a deserter’s dream. An abandoned cabin, an outhouse, and a fire pit worthy of a king. We’d found gold.

  “Come on!” Hunter waved me down to join the rest of the group. Max and Sasha explored the wood cabin while Vee and Jackson began unpacking the bags. Carrie laughed at Hunter who was making a fool out of himself dancing around the stone fire pit like he’d channeled a Native American spirit. The more he flailed about, the more she giggled. He did his best to impress her and I quickly realized who he secretly admired.

  “I’m going hunting,” Jackson said, shoving his pack into my hand.

  “What am I supposed to do with this?” I asked, annoyed with his pushiness.

  “Just claim a spot for me somewhere.” He nodded toward the cabin. “Perhaps we’ll each get a room.”

  “I’m going with him,” Vee said, dropping her bag by my feet.

  “What?” I really hoped to spend some time with her once we took a break. “Why?” I knew I sounded slightly desperate, but I didn’t care. She couldn’t avoid me forever.

  “It looks like we can stay here for a few days. The more food we gather, the more willing Sasha will be to let us rest a while.”

  I knew Vee was right, but something evil stirred inside of me at the thought of her spending quality time with Jackson instead of me. “I’ll come too,” I said. But just as I set Jackson’s bag on the ground, the troll shoved something hard into my hand.

  “Nope, loverboy. You get to dig holes.” Trevor’s ridiculous smirk boiled my skin.

  I looked at the shovel he’d pushed at me, and then up at the cabin where Sasha and Max stood on the porch. Small tree trunks made up the railings, perfectly blending into the surrounding environment. I wanted to hide like them, too.

  “There’s an outhouse,” I said, tossing the shovel to the ground.

  Trevor smiled again and pointed toward Sasha. “Her orders, not mine. Besides, the outhouse is out of commission.” He laughed at his own stupid joke.

  Vee’s hand lightly brushed my shoulder. “We’ll be back before you’re done.” I watched her force a smile that masked whatever war her conscience now brewed. Our fragile friendship was on the edge of the cliff. I desperately wanted to speak with her, to tell her that I could forget our kiss and go back to the way we were.

  But could I? As I watched her disappear over the hill with Jackson by her side, I knew things had changed inside of me. Being that close to Vee filled a void I didn’t know I harbored. Hormones be damned, our life of survival usually provided me with enough of a thrill to suppress all other emotions. But now she’d unleashed a beast. It killed me not to be hunting next to her.

  “You better get digging. Time to impress Vee with your latrine abilities before Jackson has a chance to swoop in and steal her away,” Trevor laughed.

  “Don’t you have something better to do?” I muttered, forcing a calming breath through my clenched fists. I really wanted to punch him again.

  “Yes, I think I do,” he said boldly and sauntered over to Carrie and Hunter. I didn’t bother watching what Trevor did next. I’m sure it would have only pissed me off more. Instead, I walked around the back of the cabin and searched for a private place to put our own, homemade outhouse.

  Slamming the spade of the shovel in the dirt didn’t calm me like usual. Thoughts buzzed through my brain about Vee, Jackson, Vee and Jackson hunting together, Vee and Jackson kissing. What was wrong with me? I knew Vee had boyfriends before the war, but I never remember seeing red this bad.

  Jackson was a good guy. Smart, safe, handsome in some way I supp
ose. He would take care of her and protect her. If she wanted to be with Jackson, I would approve. Eventually.

  Shaking my head and jabbing the shovel deeper into the rocky soil, I realized that was a lie. I would never want to watch Vee with someone else. She needed to be by my side. Fighting and laughing and hunting with me. I couldn’t let her go.

  At twenty-two years old, I finally realized how much I loved her.

  Something clicked. Not out loud, but internally. I loved Vee. I loved her in a way I never truly allowed myself to love before. A calming wave of peace settled deep within my soul. Nothing could harm me. Nothing could take this feeling away. A realization like this probably only came once in a man’s life, so I vowed to soak up the warming glory as long as I could.

  It wasn’t long enough. Before I knew it, I’d created six holes and darkness encompassed our new camp. Laughing mixed with the crackling sound of splitting wood echoed around the cabin and called to me. A new noise broke through the din, causing a wide smile to break free from my face.

  Music.

  As I rounded the corner, the orange glow of the fire complemented the sweet sound of a fiddle drifting through the night. Max sat with his back facing the cabin and the small wooden instrument propped underneath his chin. With one foot tapping the ground, his body bounced in time to the fast beat and quick movements of his hands. The girls, including Sasha, danced wildly in front of him, trying to keep pace. Trevor and Hunter clapped their hands to the rhythm, laughing at the dancers and smiling like we hadn’t just lost two of our own.

  Jackson split another log with an axe and tossed it on the fire. Embers flew up into the night sky, stirring a giggle from the girls, who acted like they were chasing fireflies. I’d never seen Sasha so relaxed, but when I watched her grab a bottle from the ground and throw back her head, I knew why.

  They were drunk.

  “Hey Zach! Come join in the fun!” Carrie’s tinkling voice carried over the ever increasing pace of Max’s music. I had no idea what song he decided to play, but it started to grow on me and I found myself stepping in time with the beat.

  “What’s going on with them?” I asked Jackson. He handed me a piece of wood to start stacking near the fire.

  “Max and Sasha raided the cabin and found the fiddle and some very old moonshine.”

  Taking a second to split another log, my eyes caught the light reflecting off Vee’s hair. She’d let it down, and now nearly reaching her lower back, it mesmerized me like a mythical creature. Another log landed sharply in my hands.

  “They’re acting like idiots,” Jackson grumbled when he saw what grabbed my attention.

  “I think it’s good. We all need a break.”

  Jackson’s grunt told me it was time to join the party. I’d let him wallow in…whatever was bugging him, on his own. I needed a break too.

  “May I?” I asked Sasha with an outstretched hand. The alcohol hadn’t totally consumed her and she understood my question.

  Passing the bottle to me, she smiled. “There wasn’t much left, but enough for one night.” In the light of the fire, her cheekbones protruded from her face in a way that made her look sharp but pretty. I never realized that Sasha was an attractive female. Her fiery red hair, smooth face despite our hardships, and her ability to protect others put her on par with my Vee.

  But not quite at the same level. Max stopped playing and Vee and Carrie nearly tripped over each other in exhaustion. They laughed so hard I saw tears in their eyes. Hunter and Trevor stepped in quickly to scoop them up, and on cue, Max began to play a soothing melody. The foursome first danced together, then quickly partnered up - Trevor with Carrie, and Hunter holding on tight to Vee. The boy had grown, as he could almost look her in the eye. I suspected that in another year or two he’d reach his full height.

  “Well, don’t just stand there. Take a swig or give it back.” This new Sasha was entertainment enough for me tonight, but I decided to have a drink anyway. It had been a very long time since alcohol graced this mouth.

  Holding the bottle up against the light from the fire, I noticed most of the liquid had disappeared. Sasha shrugged when she saw me looking and I laughed. One sip would be enough for me. As I threw the liquid into my mouth, it took every ounce of control not to spit it back out. My tongue burned and my throat clenched with the blazing fire water. Before I could drop the bottle, Sasha scooped it back up.

  “Looks like you’re good.” She smiled.

  My face must have been contorted in pain because as soon as Vee saw me, she began to laugh too. Her smile stopped my heart despite the intense pain moving down my esophagus. Before the liquid reached my stomach, the tips of my fingers numbed and warmth settled around my chest.

  And Vee looked more beautiful than ever.

  “Can I have this dance?” I heard myself asking her without thinking. I couldn’t dance, but I’d do anything to touch her right now.

  She giggled and extended her arms. “You can.”

  I grabbed her waist and hand and proceeded to waltz her around the fire. We tripped over each other a dozen times before she finally let me lead. Dark hair flowed effortlessly around her face, and the intermittent flashes of light on her eyes sent shivers through my body. I gazed at her like she was the only girl in the world. And for me, she was.

  “Why the serious look?” she asked, pushing her lips out into a pout. I tried my best to focus elsewhere, since all I wanted to do was devour them.

  “You’re talking to me now?” I let the hint of a smirk escape so she knew I was kind of joking with her.

  She hung her head and then pressed it against my shoulder. “I just needed some time to think.”

  We stayed silent for a little while, moving slowly with the music, and ignoring the rest of the world. I slid my hands around her lower back and pulled her closer. With our heads resting against each other, I closed my eyes and imagined a different world. One where we were finishing college and moving to the west coast to start our new life together. That had been the plan - Washington or California. Neither of us had been there but we knew we needed a change. Despite discussing our entire post-college plan, not once did that ever include us being with different people. And now I think I knew why.

  “We should talk about the other night,” Vee interrupted my day dream.

  “Okay,” I said.

  “I don’t know what came over me but—”

  “But it can’t happen again,” I finished for her, swallowing the lump in my throat. If needed, I would love her secretly.

  Her sudden movement caught me off guard. Strong hands pulled my head down to meet her perfect lips. Acutely aware of our surroundings, I was surprised with her action. Just a brief moment later, she lifted her lips from mine.

  “I wanted to tell you that I love you,” she said with a smile.

  The world disappeared. Music faded, laughter subsided, and for a moment, only Vee and I existed. The exhilaration pulsing through my head must have been amplified by the alcohol, otherwise I thought I would explode.

  Vee laughed, again watching my emotions filter through my face. “Well this is a first. I think I’ve rendered you speechless.” She brushed her finger slowly across my mouth, paralyzing me with a sensation I’d never felt before. “We should do that some more.”

  “What? Make me speechless?” The words came out in a hoarse groan.

  She smiled coyly at me. The boldness emerging from her buzzed self was quickly becoming my new favorite thing about her. Wrapping her hands behind my head again, she pushed my face to the side and lifted her heels to reach my height.

  “Make you breathless,” she whispered into my ear just before nipping the skin on my neck.

  I nearly crumbled to the ground.

  As much as I wanted her, I feared she would regret everything in the morning. “Vee…I can’t. You’re….you’re drunk.”

  “I’m not,” she breathed and lowered her hands to my butt. Her firm squeeze excited me in ways I didn’t know possibl
e.

  “You are. We can’t do this. Not now.”

  Suddenly, she pushed me back so that we could look directly at each other. Her face oozed determination and something else. Resolution, maybe.

  “I haven’t had one sip of that drink,” she said. “I just realized that I don’t want to die tomorrow without knowing what it was like to be with the only guy I’ve ever loved.”

  “You planning on going somewhere?” I asked. Stupid question but my mind wasn’t working properly right now.

  “No, you idiot.” She smiled and brushed her hands against my cheeks. “I love you.” Her eyes bore into mine with an intensity unmatched by anything I’ve ever experienced before. I don’t think I realized how much I needed to hear her say those words to me.

  I leaned forward to feel her lips on mine again, but she pulled back. “Not here.”

  “Where?”

  “Follow me.”

  She danced her way past the rest of the group and headed toward the back of the cabin where I’d dug the latrines. Not wanting to be too obvious, I slowly made my way to the front porch, as though exploring the cabin for the first time. With my back to the front door, I looked around to see if anyone noticed our disappearing act. Jackson took the last sip of alcohol from the bottle then tossed a new log on the fire. A loud cheer erupted, followed by another one of Max’s upbeat tunes. Mission accomplished. We wouldn’t be missed.

  Just as I was about to sneak away, the front door of the cabin opened and Vee pulled me inside. I turned the lock a second before she jumped into my arms.

  SIX

  Vivienne

  Without hesitation, I covered Zach’s lips with my own, trying to convey the guttural need ripping through my body. After spending the afternoon spilling my heart to Jackson, I’d realized how much I couldn’t live without Zach in my life. It was so much more than the way I felt about any of the others, that I was surprised it took me this long to admit.