Everblue

by Brenda Pandos

  “I’m a liar, too,” I said and began to laugh.

  From inside, a week’s worth of stress rumbled from my belly and strangely cleared my head. Georgia and Callahan both looked back in shock as I continued on. “I didn’t get swept up by a wave off the beach. I took out our family’s row boat on Sunday and fell out of it. The whole thing was my fault, and I lied about it.”

  “Ashlyn,” my mother said behind me, her voice filled with disappointment.

  I stopped laughing and stared at her. “Sorry, Mom.”

  She blinked back the tears in her eyes and remained quiet for a moment. Callahan and Georgia sat stiff like statues.

  “I think it’s time for your friends to go,” she finally said.

  In silence, they popped off the couch and filed out, looking shocked and disturbed, but I didn’t care. I needed to come clean—to have them know what really happened. I wasn’t worthy of the crown either.

  But instead of relief, guilt swept over me and I burst into tears. The burden was so much deeper than just my mother’s disappointment in me; grief for Fin and Tatchi’s abduction and their faces right before they disappeared underwater haunted me. Not knowing their location or wellbeing wracked my nerves. My fragile psyche couldn’t handle any more uncertainty.

  I leaned onto the couch cushion and sobbed. A piece of my soul felt like it was dying and I didn’t know how to fix it. The only time I’d felt whole since the accident was when Fin took my arm in the middle of my living room. And I’d forced him to leave, to go back to his evil cousin who wished nothing but ill will for both of them. I sent the one person who made me whole to his doom.

  I begged God to protect them as I folded myself into a ball, rocking back and forth. Their fishy fins aside, I knew for certain I wouldn’t last long if something happened to either of them, especially to Fin.

  41

  FIN

  When I phased into legs and entered our house, Mom rushed me and hugged my neck so hard I thought it would break. Even though everything that had transpired only occurred over a few days, it felt like a lifetime since I’d last seen her.

  “Finley,” she said with a small sob. “I’m so glad you’re safe.”

  “Mom.” I let out a deep sigh and rested my chin on her shoulder, exhausted from the emotional journey. “I’m so sorry about everything.”

  She pulled back and studied my eyes. “What do you have to be sorry about? This is not your fault.”

  “But it is. I left Natatoria not once, but twice.”

  She laughed lightly, a gentle sound that cleansed my wounds. “Don’t you think their reaction is a little extreme? What did they say your supposed crimes were?”

  I looked back questioningly. “I—I left unchaperoned. That’s against the law.”

  “Tahoe is your home and your uncle is there watching over things. You should be able to go there freely. Besides, you’re practically eighteen. What are two months going to change? Nothing horrible happened.”

  But something did go wrong. “Mom, they aren’t taking my crimes lightly. They put a bracelet on me so I can’t leave Natatoria,” I said with wide eyes. “Tatch has to stay in the freaking palace until it’s time for her ceremony to Azor. We need to get word to Dad to stop it. Where is he?!”

  Mom gently pushed aside a lock of damp hair off my forehead then took both my hands with a smile that didn’t reach the uncertainty behind her eyes. “I don’t know where he is.”

  “Can’t we find out who does? Someone has to know.”

  Mom sighed, all the fight taken from her. “It won’t be so bad. Once you partake of the bond, everything will change and you’ll be happy with Lily. It’s a beautiful thing.”

  “A beautiful thing?” I looked at her wrist to make sure she wasn’t wearing some kind of mind altering bracelet herself. How could she be okay with this? “Mom, did you forget? Tatch hates Azor and I’m—” I looked away. The longing for Ashlyn burned an inferno I could no longer contain, threatening to consume all my logic. “Can someone be promised to more than one mer at a time?”

  She dropped my hands and her eyes tightened. “Why are you asking this?”

  I gulped as the fear of what I’d done gripped my stomach like a vice. “I’ve already kissed someone else.”

  Mom blanched. “Who? When did this happen?”

  “It was an accident,” I said and proceeded to fill her in on what happened with Ash.

  She ran her hand through her hair when I finished and sighed. “Great Poseidon.”

  This time, I was the one consoling her. “It’s not too late. If only we could get this bracelet off, then I could escape through another gate and find Dad. He’d stop Tatch’s promising ceremony and we could all go back to Tahoe together.”

  She took my arm and traced her fingers over the Natatorian emblem. “How does it keep you here?”

  “It’ll inject me with poison if I leave a gate, or if I try to dismantle it.”

  She closed her eyes and held my wrist. “They’re determined to break us.”

  “They don’t have to win.”

  She turned around and kneaded her neck. “I’ve been trying to keep a good attitude and look at the bright side of things, but it’s been one thing after another. First the mission, and now this—” she pointed to the bracelet. “I didn’t want to believe Phaleon had it in for us, but we should have gotten word from your father by now and we haven’t. Dad has no clue what’s happening. This is Phaleon’s revenge. His subtle plot to ruin our family.”

  “Mom?” I moved into her line of sight. “I don’t understand.”

  “Did you ever wonder why we’ve never spent time in Natatoria and your father doesn’t say why?”

  “All the time.”

  She took a deep breath and sat down on the couch, already looking exhausted though she hadn’t said a word. I took a seat next to her and waited while she collected her thoughts.

  “You already know how your dad and I met, before I knew he was a merman. He told me he was visiting his aunt and uncle close to where I lived in Florida. He actually lived on land with his parents who were stationed to guard the Bermuda Triangle gate.” She smiled at the memory. “We spent the entire summer together: laughing, swimming, and enjoying every sunlit moment together. We’ve told you kids he swept me off my feet and we couldn’t live without each other, but what I didn’t mention was Leon—which is what we used to call King Phaleon back then. He’d visit along with Jack.”

  Her smile faded. “It became increasingly evident they both liked me, but I only had feelings for your father. Leon became jealous. It was after I let him down easy that things took a strange turn. Unknown to me, your grandparents were accused shortly thereafter of becoming too familiar with humans. Overnight the family packed up and left without saying good-bye. This was right before my junior year of high school.

  “Though utterly crushed, I never fully let go of your father’s memory. A few years later, for my twenty-first birthday, I had a big party on a yacht out on the Keys. I had a little too much to drink and fell overboard. I’d hit my head and probably would have drowned if Jack hadn’t been there to rescue me. He’d been underwater”—she winked—“spying on me the whole time. Once we were reunited, it was as if we’d never been apart. That was the day he kissed me. Our promising day.

  “In the beginning, it was difficult, the distance—like now—was unbearable. But I had to finish college so I could get a job to support us. After a year, we couldn’t handle the infrequent visits. Most of the time, Jack would have to sneak out of Natatoria, so he took the Tahoe Gate job, which was the least favorable place to guard at the time. The decision solved all our problems. I became a mermaid shortly after the move. Eventually, I had my aging parents move there too and retire so I could care for them until they passed.

  “But we avoided Natatoria—one, because I was a new beta-mer and the other, to spare Leon’s feelings. Once we heard of his promising to Desiree, we hoped he’d let go of the past. After he b
ecame King, though”—she shook her head and grimaced—“the laws changed. He stopped letting people live on land to guard gates. We are one of the last families to have that privilege. I believe it’s because your father is on the Council. They see the value of him being in touch with human society, but by sending Dad on this dangerous mission and keeping me here, the King has put us both in a heart-wrenching place and he knows it.

  “And if that wasn’t enough, now he’s sought to keep you and your sister here as well by using your emotions against you—and taking our daughter against our wishes and her will. The only problem is Ashlyn’s soul won’t ever allow her to move on. If the promising with Lily happens, they’ll both be bonded to you, but only Ashlyn will own your heart. Naturally, you shouldn’t want to be with Lily, which in normal circumstances would stop this from happening. The reality is Ashlyn’s spirit will begin to consume you and there will be no rest until you’re together. If you leave after you’re promised to Lily, though, you won’t feel it, but she’ll suffer the same fate.”

  I closed my eyes and leaned my head back. My thoughts swam with the lies, betrayal, and deception while my soul ached, wanting nothing but to have Ash in my arms. Knowing she suffered just as bad, if not worse, sickened me. Though Blanchard attempted to mind-wipe her, unknown to him she’d been immune because of our promise, and now she was all alone and without any answers—her soul unbearably restless. What could she possibly be thinking? My decision was clear. No matter what, I couldn’t condemn Lily to the same slow torture.

  “Mom, we have to stop this.”

  “I know. But if they knew what happened, they’d find Ashlyn and kill her to free your soul and prove their power.”

  “NO!”

  “So,” Mom said with tears in her eyes. “Maybe we can talk to Badger about it—”

  “No,” I interrupted. “How could I tell him? If he had any idea about this, he’d probably beat me up. He’s excited about me becoming part of his family.”

  “Badger loves you. I doubt he’d do anything of the sort if he knew all the facts. He might be able to figure out how to help you and your sister escape beforehand. You have to go get Dad. We can’t allow Tatiana to be with a man she utterly hates.”

  “I don’t want Badger involved, but that doesn’t solve this problem—” I held up my wrist.

  “Right,” she said with a pain-stricken face. She grabbed my hands forcefully. “Follow along like they want and I’ll figure out a way to free your sister and stop this promising if it kills me. Maybe Tatiana and I could go together. Or—”

  Mom’s sudden determination horrified me. I suddenly feared how far she would go to accomplish her goal—including leaving on her own.

  “Please, Mom. I couldn’t face Dad if something happened to you.”

  “Nothing’s going to happen.” A light of hope flickered from within the darkness that had consumed her eyes. “We’re going to get out of here and find your father.”

  “Yeah, but—”

  She smiled reassuringly. “Leon will not win, Finley. I promise you. But for now, we need to act like nothing has changed. Tomorrow morning at the festival, pretend you’re happy about your engagement to Lily.”

  “The festival is tomorrow?”

  “Yes, but it’ll be okay. Being jilted at the altar is much better than being abandoned after being promised.”

  I rubbed my hand over my forehead, surprised Mom was being so optimistic when I had no idea how we’d get Tatch away from the guards in the palace, let alone get my bracelet off. “If you say so.”

  “I know so.”

  I couldn’t help but shudder. Tatiana had spoken those same words just hours before and everything had gone horrifically wrong. I didn’t want to jinx anything by agreeing.

  42

  ASH

  Somehow, I managed to pick up the pieces of my sanity before Mom ordered the guys with the white coats to come and take me away. Of course, that wasn’t before she arranged an appointment with a psychologist. I could only imagine the doctor’s reaction if I explained the truth about what was really making me batty.

  My little bout of hysteria kept me from school another day and Mom later apologized for pushing too soon for me to return. I’d retreated back to my room, away from the whispers of my family and decided to keep a watchful eye on the lake through the window. I had an eerie sense something bad was about to happen and that Fin and Tatchi needed my prayers.

  Questions swirled in my head as I replayed the events of the abduction yet again. Little by little the pieces fell together. Unlike the old eighties movie Splash, water didn’t necessarily make them merpeople. Then what did? Tatchi was never out past sunset, complaining her parents enforced a curfew. Did the sun have something to do with it? Was that why she couldn’t spend the night at my house way back then? I gasped. That had to be it—the big secret her dad busted the cabinet over. Of course. They were merpeople only at night and they couldn’t control it.

  Criminy! How many had I come across and didn’t even know it? Like their cousin Colin. Was the entire family mer people? Were they born this way? Have they always lived in the lake? How have they kept it a secret for so long?

  Then it hit me.

  This whole time I believed an angel saved me from drowning when that wasn’t what happened at all. I’d heard Fin’s voice and saw his face right before I fell unconscious, but thought it was a dream. Had it really been him after all? My head ached in confusion.

  As a merman he would obviously have been able to endure the frigid temperature of the water. But that was during the daytime. Could he will his tail in and out of existence? Then how did he get me to the Ranger station and why didn’t the Ranger see him?

  “Oh,” I whispered as my lips suddenly tingled, a memory of Fin’s lips touching mine.

  He did. He carried me. It was his warm body next to mine, his voice that told me to fight, to live. My heart swelled. I no longer cared the facts didn’t make sense. All that mattered was Fin. He was the one I’d been dreaming about this whole time. The one I wished for. The one I’d fallen in love with. The one taken from me.

  Then I remembered all the horrible things I’d said, the way I’d overreacted when he came to my door. Was he about to tell me? Was my refusal to help why he was captured? My gut clenched. I’d turned him away and now he was gone, pulled under the waves by evil mermen to a place called Natatoria. Why didn’t he make me listen? Was he afraid I wouldn’t understand? Am I that stubborn he wouldn’t even try?

  Heartsick, I moved to the window and touched the glass, desperate to touch his beautiful face instead, wanting to beg for forgiveness. He had to come back. If he never returned, the longing would slowly chip away at my soul, robbing me of my sanity.

  “Fin,” I whispered as I brought my fists to my face, wiping my tears with my sleeves. “I’m so sorry. Please come home.”

  I couldn’t stop the dread. I’d failed him.

  43

  FIN

  Somewhere else in the palace, Tatch was getting ready, too. Mom had rushed off to find her, leaving me alone in a guest room. Of course, there was a guard outside the door preventing me from following or trying to duck out early. The King assigned my sister guards as well, along with a female chaperon instructed to stay with her at all times since she’d incapacitated all the men in my escape.

  I clenched my hands to calm my nerves. Act happy. That was what my mother’s orders were, but this whole charade made my stomach roll. I’d not seen Lily since we’d almost kissed at Badger’s—a different time, a different me. The last thing I wanted to do was lead her on. Maybe I’d get a chance to let her off gently before the festival. Before we smiled and waved for all the mers to see.

  In front of the mirror, I pulled at the silly sleeveless vest I wore and laughed. Who’d made this monstrosity? A beauty school beginners sewing class disaster, no doubt—mine being the first victim.

  I turned to answer the knock at the door, expecting Mom, and tensed. Badge
r floated with Lily at his side instead. She’d never looked more beautiful in a long white gown.

  “Oh good, it fits you.” She smiled warmly, eyeing my attire. “You weren’t around to measure. Everything happened so fast, I didn’t think I’d have it ready in time.”

  I tugged on the bottom of my vest, glad I didn’t comment first. “Like a glove.”

  Mom and Dad were right. Arranged promisings were awkward. How was I supposed to act when I knew behind closed doors Lily’s parents wrote up a proposal like we were cattle and sent it to my Mom via courier for approval? How was that romantic?

  But to make things worse, Badger hovered behind Lily and beamed with pride, believing we’d be family soon. I took a deep breath and looked away. After the truth came out, he’d hate me for sure.

  “I think we best be gettin’ down to the festival,” Badge said, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

  “Good idea.” I moved ahead of them, wondering if I should take Lily’s hand or not, and decided the less attention I gave her the better.

  I’d only been to a festival once as a kid so I had no idea what awaited us. Back then, the couples swam in a long line and waved to the crowd. It lasted way too long and was a complete and total bore. I imagined this would be the same.

  The goon squad followed close behind and I caught Lily watching them and me with curious eyes. Part of me found her reaction comical. I guessed no one bothered to tell her she was engaged to a criminal.

  As we exited through the palace doors, a line of buggies that looked like cars in amusement park rides spread as far as the eye could see on the shiny golden street. Dowels protruded from each corner of the car; shells and other shiny crap decorated the outsides. Most of the cars already held anxiously awaiting couples. We followed suit and waited alongside the other mer couples to speak with the coordinator, a woman dressed entirely in purple.

  I craned my neck to find my sister, but neither Mom, Tatch, nor Azor were among the crowd.