Super (Book 2): Super Duper

by Jones, Princess

  When the clerk finally led me into one of hearing rooms, it was laid out like a courtroom. Miss Fine was already there, seated a table with an array of file boxes next to her. She glanced at me as the clerk led me to the remaining table parallel to hers and I sat down.

  Moments later, three Licensing Board members in long robes filed into the room and took their places on the dais. The one that seemed to be in charge introduced them but I was too nervous to remember their names. I just thought of the one in charge as Baldy and the other two as Shorty and Big Nose.

  They started with Miss Fine. For almost an hour, I listened to her lay out why I was such a bad Super. She told them about my underwhelming powers. She told them about my lack of dedication. She went over my history of past due Council dues. And she had props. She brought out charts and affidavits for all of it. After each point, she passed out copies of the evidence to the Board members.

  It was a good thing I didn’t think too highly of myself because by the end of all of that, I would have been suicidal. And to think, just over a week ago, I had no idea I would be here.

  By the time it was my turn, I had zoned out. Baldy gestured to me. “Ms. Hart, would you like to say anything on your behalf.”

  “Um, no, not really.” Miss Fine let out a chuckle. It was almost cute. If I hadn’t heard it come from her with my own two ears, I wouldn’t have believed it. Baldy banged his gavel and looked at her sternly. “Elphaba, please maintain decorum.”

  Elphaba? I thought to myself. No wonder she didn’t want to tell me.

  I cleared my throat. “Well, she’s right.” I gestured to Miss Fine. “I am behind on my dues but I can take care of them today if you’ll take a check from my dad. My district numbers aren’t great but I can work to improve them. And yeah, I don’t have an amazing power. I can’t fly or walk through walls or anything. But you can’t choose your powers. You have to just work with what you have. And I do.”

  The Board members looked back at me quietly. These people should play professional poker, I thought. They have the best poker faces. Since no one spoke, I just continued.

  “I never claimed to be perfect. I know I have room for improvement. In fact, I don’t think I ever chose to be a Super. My parents are Supers. I developed my powers and then I was sent off to school. The next thing I knew I was going for a license. I can’t remember one time ever being offered a different choice. There have been times when I have wished for a different life but this audit process has made me more sure than ever that being a Super is exactly what I want. I’m ready to choose this life.”

  “Do you deserve to keep your license?”

  I shook my head. “Fuck no.” There was an audible gasp. “Sorry.” I cleared my throat and started again. “I mean, I think that if I did, I’d be lying. But I’m ready to show you that I deserve a second chance.”

  Baldy shuffled some papers in front of him. “Well, it seems we have enough information to make our decision. All parties will be notified of the outcome. Until then, you are free to continue to practice as Super, Ms. Hart. This hearing is adjourned.” He banged the gavel and that was that.

  Chapter 19

  “Audrey!” Walking out of the hearing, I was surprised to hear my name. That was quickly followed by a stab of fear because the only person who knew me by name in the headquarters was Miss Fine. I looked around for her, planning to run in the opposite direction.

  “Audrey! Over here!” And then I saw them. My mom, my dad, and my sister. And that’s when I really wanted to run. But they ran up on me before I could even make the decision to get out of there. Besides, it’s not like I wasn’t going to see them again. “Well? How did it go?” Mom immediately asked.

  “I don’t know. OK, I guess. They’re going to send out a notice with the decision,” I explained. “How did you know?”

  Dad put a meaty hand on my shoulder. “Come on. You made it pretty obvious. Asking all of these questions about audits and handbooks and tests. I know a few people in the licensing department, so I asked to get the heads up when your hearing started. We all wanted to be here when you got out.” Mom and Ella nodded behind him.

  “But how long have you known?”

  “Mom told me,” Ella shrugged.

  “Your father told me,” Mom added in.

  “I knew when you came over looking for your handbook,” Dad said. “You’ve moved in and out of the house since school and you’ve never come back asking for your handbook. There had to be a reason.”

  Ella shook her head. “And all those questions about audits! For someone who lies a lot, you’re really, really bad at it.”

  I signed. “So basically, everyone knew the whole time?” They all nodded. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

  “Why didn’t you say anything?” Mom asked. “We could have helped you, you know.”

  “I know. I just. . . I just figured you guys would all freak out and then it would make it worse. I figured I should just take care of it by myself for once. You know, be a grownup,” I finished.

  Dad rolled his eyes. “And that’s what you just don’t get yet, Junior. Being an adult means knowing when to handle it on your own and knowing when to call in reinforcements. You’ll get I one day. Now, who’s hungry? How about Shogun?”

  * * * * *

  “And I told them that I could get another check from my dad to pay the dues. And then I just basically told them that I really wanted my license and I would try to prove it to them if they gave the chance.” We all headed over to Shogun to eat and for the first time ever, I caught the shrimp when the chef did his trick. The place was pretty deserted and we had a table to ourselves. So after the chef did his thing, I felt comfortable filling my family in about the whole audit from start to finish, without mentioning anything that I really couldn’t say in public.

  Ella chewed her steak carefully and swallowed. “Did you mean that?”

  I nodded. “Yeah, I think so. I really hope they let me keep my license. And not because I don’t know what I’d do without it. It’s because there’s nothing else I’d rather do. . . even if it doesn’t pay anything.”

  “And that’s what you call a calling.” Dad clinked my beer bottle with his in a mock toast before taking a swig. “Oh! I forgot to tell you that I picked up the pictures.”

  “Gimme!” Mom cried, practically leaping across the table at him. It was shocking. Not the fact that she was going bat shit crazy to see them. It was the fact that she used the word “gimme.”

  “Hold on, woman! They’re right here in my jacket.” Dad pulled out a fat envelope from his inside jacket pocket. Mom grabbed it from him and spread the photos out on the table among the plates and food. We all got quiet and leaned in to get a good look.

  They were terrible. But not just terrible. These were the worst pictures I’d seen of any of us. Depending on which frame the picture came from, we were alternately looking angry, miserable, cross eyed, raggedy, or cut completely out of the picture. I looked like I was being held at gun point. Ella was scowling. Mom’s eyes were closed. And Dad looked like a large, angry penguin. There was not one useable picture there. Not one.

  No one said anything. The unnatural silence was thick and covered us all. And finally, there was a strangled sound coming from Dad. He had his head down. Then he lifted his head and his eyes were wet and glassy. He was laughing. He was laughing so hard he was crying. He laid his head back on the table and pounded it with his fist in time to his laughing.

  Just watching him, I couldn’t help but laugh, too. It started with a few snorts and then got going into a full-on belly laugh. Soon, Ella was joining us. Only Mom was sitting quietly as we laughed on.

  Finally, Dad got up, still laughing, and went to Mom. As wrapped an arm around her and half hugged her. “Honey, it’s funny. C’mon! It’s funny. Just laugh. Laugh, dammit!” And that wiped away the last of her resistance. She started with a small chuckle and quickly built into a roaring laughter.

  It was the best celebrati
on dinner I’d attended. And the best part was that this time it was for me. I just hope I deserved it.

  Chapter 20

  Between the belly laughs at dinner and the to-go box my parents let me take from the restaurant, I was in a good mood when I got off the subway and walked down the street toward my building. Sure, my hearing decision was still up in the air. But, I’d done everything I could at this point. I wouldn’t know anything until the Council was ready for me to know. That could be tomorrow or in six months. Until then, I had leftover shrimp fried rice and pork egg rolls to tide me over.

  As I opened the door to my apartment, a sour smell washed over me. I put my hand over my nose. “Damn, what is that?” I asked Crash. He did the fish equivalent of putting his hands on his hips—which is to say he darted back and forth in his bowl—as if to say “You know what it is. Take out the garbage, will ya?”

  “OK, OK,” I said, grabbing the bag from the can. “It’s not like I have any help around here with the chores. I think we need to make a chore wheel or something.” I dragged the bag out of the apartment, out of the front door, and around to the alley where the building’s trash cans were.

  Mike was standing there holding his own trash bag. “Hi.”

  “Hi,” I said back.

  He threw his bag onto the pile. We stood there in the darkening alley staring at the ground, the alley walls, the garbage—anything not to look at each other. Mike broke the silence first. “For a super, you sure do dress nicely.”

  “Excuse me?”

  He pointed to my black dress and blazer. “Yuri never looked so good.”

  I didn’t know what to say. I finally settled on “Well, I clean up OK.”

  He just nodded and we stood there nodding together like idiots in silence for a moment. Then we both tried to talk at the same time.

  “About the other day—”

  “I don’t want things to be—”

  He started again. “No, let me go first, Audrey. I don’t want things to be awkward between us because of what I said the other day. I thought that there was something interesting between us. You know, on the roof. Maybe I read that wrong. It wouldn’t be the first time I misunderstood something.”

  I swallowed. “OK.”

  “And if it’s not that—if you think you want to pursue something—I need you to be the one to make the next move. I’m not going to chase you. You have to meet me halfway,” he finished.

  I swallowed again. “OK.” You should like an idiot, I thought to myself. But I couldn’t think of anything else to say. I was standing there holding a bag of trash, looking like the dumbest person in the world.

  Mike just stared at me again, like he was waiting for something to happen. And then he sighed. “OK, then. Have a good evening, Audrey.” And he walked away. As he disappeared from sight, I just stood there watching him go.

  Suddenly I heard a rustling from the garbage. That wasn’t unusual. It was probably rats. But then the rustling got bigger and bigger. If that was a rat, I didn’t want to be there when it came out. I turned to go but realized that I still holding the garbage bag. I turned back to the trash to see Outside Bob pop up out of the mountain of bags.

  I screamed before I could help myself. “What are you doing?”

  “What are you doing?” he yelled back. “Obviously you like that guy. Obviously he likes you. When someone you like says something like that to you, you don’t stand here with a bag of trash like an asshole. You go get him before he comes to senses.”

  It took a moment to recognize what he was saying. It was just a moment but a moment is a long time when you’re standing in an alley listening to a man climb out of a dumpster to give you relationship advice.

  I knew what to do.

  I threw the garbage bag into the dumpster and narrowly missed Bob. Then I ran back down the alley after Mike. Behind me, I heard Outside Bob yell out a very sarcastic “You’re welcome!”

  I caught up with Mike on the front stoop of the building. “Hey!”

  He turned around. “Hey to you, too. Again.”

  “Mike, I’m kind of a fuck up,” I started. There’s a lot of stuff that I’m not good at. I have secrets. I have shit I’m dealing with. And in the past, I’ve let that stuff keep me from connecting with other people. But I think it’s time for me to try new things,” I finished.

  Mike got a serious look on his face. “Are you a criminal?”

  “No.”

  “Are you a dude?”

  “No.”

  “All right then. Everything else, I’m willing to learn as we get to it. What’s your Friday night look like?”

  Like pizza and laundry, I thought. But I said “Like wide open.”

  “Great. I’ll pick you up at seven.”

  “You know where I live.” Mike gave me a little wave and went back into the building.

  Just then, Outside Bob came wandering out of the alley. He stood next to me, looking up at the front of the building. “If you two have kids, you should definitely name them Bob. And the beauty of it is that it could work for a boy or a girl.”

  Chapter 21

  “Audrey Hart?” I turned back from watching Mike walk back into the building to see a UPS delivery guy in a truck at the curb. He was leaning out of the window and calling my name.

  “Yeah that’s her,” Bob called back. I gave him a dirty look and he shrugged. “What? You got warrants or something?”

  I ignored him and walked over to the UPS truck. The driver handed me an electronic clipboard. “Sign this.” I did the deed and he handed me an envelope. I fished a crumpled tip from my jeans pocket and handed it over. He gave me a little mock salute and drove off.

  I saw that this envelope didn’t have a return address, I knew who it was from. Sure I’d just left my hearing hours ago, but this was the Council we were talking about. I ripped it open and fished out the letter.

  Bob tried to look over my shoulder. “What’s that?” I scooted away so he couldn’t see and skimmed the page past my name and some mumbo jumbo about the audit process until I got to a bolded paragraph in the middle:

  It is the decision of the Council that you may keep your license at this time. This notification signals the conclusion of your audit.

  “YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!” I screamed. “YES! YES! YES!” I threw the paper up in the air and ran in a circle around Bob, who eyed me suspiciously. And then I grabbed Bob and gave him a big bear hug.

  “Hey! Let me go!” he shouted. “You smell funny!”

  I let go of him and he immediately took a few steps away from me. “I’m sorry, Bob. I’m just so happy. You have no idea.”

  “What happened? Did you win the lottery or something?” he asked.

  I couldn’t stop grinning. “I feel like it. I really feel like I won a million dollars.”

  Bob looked down the street. “Hey, I have to go.”

  “Where would you have to go?”

  “You think you’re the only one with secrets?” He didn’t wait for the answer. He just started wandering down the street at a pace that didn’t read that he was in a hurry at all. “And you dropped something,” he called over his shoulder.

  I looked down and saw that he was right. I picked up the small piece of paper and recognized the stationary header right away. The note was from Miss Fine.

  Audrey, Please allow me to send you hearty congratulations on the conclusion of your audit. Obviously your pitiful plea to the Board was well received and you have been allowed keep your license for now. But I want you to know that I will be keeping an eye on you. Did you know that there is no limit on how many random audits you can have during the lifetime of your Super license? Good luck on your probation. You’ll need it.

  Until we meet again, Miss Fine,

  Senior Auditor Super Council

  I read the note twice. Probation? I thought.

  I went back to the original notice and skimmed through it slower. I found it right beneath where I stopped readi
ng the first time. In the next paragraph, it said The Council was putting me on a year probation. If I had any citations during that time, I’d be back in front of the Board. That included a hundred hours of community service. Not only that, I had to complete a six week supervised work study with a mentor before I could go back to working on my own.

  I read that little paragraph at least four times. I didn’t know what to think. A minute ago, I’d felt like I’d won the lottery. I’d even hugged Outside Bob. But now it was clear that I wasn’t out of the woods yet. Not by a long shot.

  Fuck.

  About the Author

  Princess Jones is a fantasy author with an obsession with the stories we tell ourselves over and over. Super is the first in her ongoing series about a nontraditional super hero.

  Jones currently lives in Austin, TX with her husband and a constantly revolving menagerie of stray people and animals. She spends her time reading good books, watching bad television, and trying to teach her dogs to drive to Chipotle.

  For more information about Jones and Super, visit www. princessjones.com.

  Acknowledgements

  I’d like to thank my husband, Chris, for baking me cakes and buying me video games and loving me. Especially the loving me part.

  Thank you to my friends and family for believing me. Thank you to all of the people who encouraged, edited, beta tested, pushed, cajoled, and nagged me until I finished. I owe you all beers.

  And thank you to Batman, whose super power is just giving a fuck more than everybody else.

  A Note from the Author

  Thank you for taking the time to read this book! I hope you enjoyed Super. If you have a moment, please help others en- joy this book, too.

  Lend it.Please tell a friend about this book and offer to lend to him or her. Review it. Tell others why you liked this book by leaving a review for the next reader. If you do write a review, please send me a link to your review at princess@princessjones.com. I’d like to thank you with a free copy of one of my other books.