Playing Autumn (Breathe Rockstar Romance Book 1)

by Mina V. Esguerra

  Oliver was genuinely taken aback by that. Not that no one had ever asked, because many people asked and wrote about his volatile relationship with actress Tori Gordon, whether he wanted to talk about it or not.

  Partly he was surprised at his lack of a crazed reaction to it.

  Haley blinked at him. “Wait. I’m sorry. I should have…I was thinking of something. I kind of threw that out without context.”

  “It’s fine,” Oliver replied, and it was one of those auto responses that felt true when it settled down. “There was that time when I caught her and my manager Rob together. That’s when it became obvious to me.”

  “I’m really sorry I brought it up—”

  “It’s fine. It’s not like in the movies, caught in the act or anything. I made the mistake of dropping by his place unexpected, and she was there. I knew what they had just done. I didn’t even know she was in town. But it felt like it was getting there…maybe months. I ignored all the, well, signs.”

  She didn’t have to explain the context, the station her train of thought was at. He could see that she had her upcoming dinner with Logan on her mind, apart from everything else. He wanted to be careful about the words he used, knowing she was going to be hanging on to them as she thought about her future.

  But he didn’t want himself completely out of it either.

  Haley opened her mouth and started to say something but changed her mind. Instead she brought another piece of food to her mouth and chewed, slowly. “This is good,” she said.

  Kari and John were last to take the stage. Oliver wasn’t worried for them; he was least nervous right before performing anyway, when he had minutes to go and stopped himself from thinking that he could still change anything. Kari and John could end up better or worse than at lunch, but he doubted they’d allow themselves to stink even more. If they did, they didn’t deserve this break and should be slinking back into obscurity as soon as possible.

  Then John started his part on acoustic guitar, and Haley’s head turned to Oliver.

  “Right?” he said.

  It was an arrangement that allowed John to show off on guitar despite stripping down the song to its basics. With John’s ego taken care of, Kari could do most of the vocals her way, and she was, so far, spot on. They weren’t there yet, he could imagine one of the TT judges calling them a “coffee shop act” with disdain, but it was a step in the right direction, and they both looked comfortable doing it.

  The applause for them was real, and Oliver had experience with real applause. He felt Haley’s foot hit his under the table, and her neck flushed pink.

  “Sorry, I was scratching,” she said.

  “I’m going to pretend you meant to do that,” he said.

  “They’re better,” Haley nodded toward the stage. “You’re this genius about everything, aren’t you? Maybe I should give you my student, too.”

  There was movement at one of the tables in the middle, closer to the stage, and Oliver became aware of the other people in the room. Because that guy, the kid, stood up and scanned the room for him, and found him. Trey looked pissed and not as willing to hand over anything to Oliver.

  Chapter 19

  Trey and Oliver were arguing.

  Haley should have done something about it as soon as it happened, because she considered herself part of the festival organizing staff around here…but it was fun to watch. She was sitting there, done with dinner, when Trey sauntered over, looking angry. In that way that puppies look cute when they’re angry.

  Trey wouldn’t have liked that thought though.

  She remembered Trey from several years ago, when he was bumped up from the waiting list because of a cancellation (a tidbit she noticed Victoria never shared with anyone else since Trey’s meteoric rise). He wasn’t that year’s standout, but then again—when was Prom King ever also the most likely to succeed?

  Haley forgot for a second that Oliver could handle himself in a fight. That he had, in fact, been arrested once for causing a disturbance in his fellow musician’s hotel room, right around the time that his relationship with TV actress Tori Gordon was announced as over. (A “disturbance” that resulted in physical injuries for him and the other guy.) Her email alerts about him for the months that followed were all gossip blogs and tabloid posts, chronicling which party he had been drunk at, bouncers he had pushed, fellow musicians he had said nasty things to, over and over. Trey didn’t remember this? Did he track anything music-related before he wandered into the industry? Of course not.

  “…disrespected the song, completely! It’s not how—”

  “—not your clones. I should be telling them to disrespect every damn—”

  “—what you’re trying to prove. Breathe Music is not a contest—”

  “—if you can’t deal with a little competition—”

  “—what’s a real contest? The charts. That’s what—”

  “Guys,” Haley stood up at this point, remembering her role in this. “Guys. Your students did great today. Case closed. Trey, walk with me outside?”

  Trey was not done. He had worked himself up to a red face, his breathing quick. Haley could have asked Oliver to back off, but Trey was the guy who needed to be talked down.

  Aw, cute angry puppy. Oliver raised an eyebrow at her as she slid out of her chair, but she shrugged and tugged at Trey’s elbow.

  “Fine,” Trey said bitterly, following her out.

  ***

  “I’m fine.”

  “You said that.”

  “I am. I was having the time of my life here until this very moment. They warned me about him. They said he was an ass.”

  Trey, angry puppy, was pacing around her. He’d end up in front of her, and behind her, such that Haley stopped trying to look him in the eye and focused ahead, to the window inside the library where she had brought him.

  “You excused me from the room? Giving me a time-out like I’m a child.”

  He had said that while behind her, so she only caught the accusing finger pointed at her torso when he had come up to her view again.

  “Trey, put that away.” Haley good-naturedly swatted at his hand. “You two were equally making this into something that Breathe isn’t about. So you might as well tell me what’s bothering you.”

  “Nothing’s bothering me! I was trying to be nice. I felt sorry for him. I didn’t want to end up like that—”

  She chose to keep quiet. There was already a lot on her mind, and she wasn’t going to add babysitting Trey to it. She also wasn’t about to get caught (even in private) agreeing with the guy that Oliver was not in the best place in his life right now. So much pity going around already.

  Trey didn’t need long to rant anyway. He must have noticed that she wasn’t an engaged audience.

  “Are you done?” she said, smiling.

  He sagged against the window seat. “Whatever.”

  “You wanted to be nice to him why?”

  “Maybe I’m just a nice guy.”

  Haley looked at the clock up on the wall. She hadn’t yet met with Mia to talk about her performance. She couldn’t wait to check if there was a response to her application, no matter how unlikely. She might need to put away some chairs to get on Victoria’s good side about taking off for the afternoon.

  “Trey, you’ll have many more chances to be nice to him. I think you’re making the right decision,” she said. “Oliver’s not from Breathe like us. He doesn’t know what it’s like to be part of the community. When you’re not in competition with each other, you know?”

  She said that knowing it was hollow and maybe only what Trey wanted to hear if he had already cast himself as the good guy who was giving Oliver a chance. Because yes, Breathe Music was a community, but everyone watched out for threats and weaknesses.

  “You’ve got to be the bigger person here, right now,” Haley continued. “You know the trouble he was recently in, right? Maybe it hasn’t all blown over yet. Maybe you need to be a good example for him.” />
  The intensity in Trey’s eyes lessened, and the puppy started to come back. “I don’t want to have to be the example.”

  I can’t believe this BS is working. Haley reached over and patted his arm. “You’re the biggest name in the festival right now, Trey. You can’t afford to lose your temper, and I don’t think you have much choice. I’ll talk to him about not acting out at the expense of the students, but you should go on and do your thing like this doesn’t bother you. It means so much to everyone else to see how successful and put-together you are.”

  And then, Trey smiled at her. At her. A slow, sly smile, the kind that Haley was sure made the tween girls’ hearts melt.

  “Thanks,” he said. “Haley. You were always awesome. I remember.”

  Haley blushed, mostly because it seemed like he had complimented her as a teacher.

  ***

  Mia did not like her performance again and was beating herself up over it after. She was sulking on a single seater couch at the hotel lobby, watching a video of herself taken with an iPad, over and over and over. It didn't look healthy.

  Haley had given her a “relax, don't stress out over this” pep talk, but it didn't help. So she sat there, supportive, not saying anything more until Mia was ready to hear it. At some point Haley had run out of calamine and was stomping her foot every few minutes so she wouldn't have to scratch.

  Logan was texting. He asked to call but she kept saying she was in the middle of something (true, every time) so he sent messages. Haley felt the need to reply to each one within a reasonable period of time or else he might call anyway.

  Logan: Not free to talk?

  Haley: Mentoring. Not good time.

  Logan: We’re on for tomorrow right?

  Haley: I’ll be back Thanksgiving. You can’t wait until Thanksgiving?

  Logan: Did Cass say anything?

  Haley frowned at her phone. It irked her not a little bit how Cass seemed to know more about Logan’s plans for her this weekend than she did.

  People always knew his plans though. His world, this “real” one that Cass liked to mention, had him and a bunch of other people. Logan ruled his world every time no matter where he ended up. The popular crowd in high school, varsity in college, and he might be only starting out at his job right now, but he was going to end up ruling it. He had always seemed to want her around but only tolerated what she liked to do. He never personally involved himself in Breathe Music except to watch the Sunday concerts.

  Haley: No. I’ll be busy. How about I meet you for dinner instead? I don’t want you waiting for me here, will be in sessions.

  Mia looked up at her. “It looks like you’re really busy. Can we talk about this tomorrow?”

  “I have some ideas for you if…”

  “I’m tired,” she said. “I’ll head up to my room now if you won’t.”

  Fine. Not exactly the awesome mentor that she minutes ago might have been called. It was a tough business. She went to go look for Victoria, finding her at the ballroom, dining tables stowed away and chairs stacked and lined up against the walls.

  “I'm sorry, I am. Look, I've already been punished,” Haley said, pointing to her foot. “Don't be mad at me.”

  Victoria was sprawled on a large brown couch. Haley rubbed her foot against the couch leg. The relief was instant and almost orgasmic.

  “You shouldn't do that,” Victoria said. “You'll want to keep going until your toes bleed, I kid you not.”

  “He took me to his grandmother's house. I didn't know that was going to happen. I would have reminded him to drive back right away, but then the ants, and…”

  “I get it,” Victoria sighed, ever-present clipboard against her chest. “I didn't want to have to be the only adult here.”

  “I'm so adult. I'm so here.”

  “Mia could have been better.”

  That Haley knew, and her heart sank that it was that obvious to everyone else. “I'm trying to reach out to her. I wish I had some cred in the industry to back me up, you know. She keeps wanting to be like people everyone has heard of.”

  “Oh boo hoo.” Her best friend grunted and pulled herself upright on the couch. “I can't believe I have to remind you that a million people watched you teach them piano on the Internet.”

  “Not a million. Really?”

  “You haven't seen your channel lately? More than a million. That's democracy. That's real people telling you that they want to hear more of you and from you. That, or ten pervs have Hot Piano Girl on a constant loop.”

  A familiar feeling stirred in Haley's chest. She was so used to quashing the hope whenever it bubbled up. “I'm sorry about today. But I'm here, really.”

  “No, your head is in a zillion places. I'm sorry, I should be more supportive too. Do you want to talk about it?”

  Haley laughed. “About what? The unemployment, Logan, Oliver?”

  “I don't know. What are you in the mood for?”

  “I think you've got more important things to do right now, but I'll fill you in later. Can I go now and self-medicate?”

  “Go. I'll see you tomorrow.”

  ***

  She heard the faint sounds of a guitar playing, but she couldn't make out what the song was. She couldn't hear it from the bathroom, so she cut her shower short and settled onto the love seat, still wearing the hotel bathrobe, keeping her feet up, willing herself to ignore her toes.

  Haley wondered, not briefly, if Oliver wasn't alone in there. By the time she was done with Trey, Mia, and Victoria, he was nowhere to be found downstairs so she headed back up to her room.

  Was he expecting her to show up? Should she make clattering sounds so he’d know she was there? Was this thing they were doing the kind of thing that actually happened whenever he was out on the road, and was she simply Thursday night? Maybe Friday night was supposed to be someone else? Was “Friday Night” in there now? Or maybe there’d be an entire group of them, minimum three fangirls to each rock star?

  Is your calamine spiked? Maybe you’re going crazy.

  There weren't any female voices from there that she could make out, but it didn't mean they weren't any females in there. Maybe they were shocked into silence from the awesome.

  The playing stopped, and she sighed with disappointment. Maybe one of the fangirls told him to stop with the guitar already and strum one of them instead.

  Ha. Inside, she laughed bitterly.

  And then there was a knock on her door.

  For a moment she panicked, wondering if she should brush her hair first or throw something else on, but if that took forever the knocking might stop. So she went to the door just wearing her robe and opened it a crack. The door, she opened the door a crack, not the robe. But maybe the robe too. “Hi,” she said.

  Oliver peered in, already dressed for bed, smiling. “I thought you might want this by now.” Calamine spray.

  She forgot about modesty and threw the door open, grabbing the bottle out of his hands. “Thank you. I didn't have time to go out and get another. I've been using willpower to make it go away.”

  He was standing there at the doorway, still holding the guitar, and she asked him to come inside. “Willpower. How's that working for you?”

  She uncapped and sprayed. “Guess.” The relief began again, spreading down on her toes, but there was an ache somewhere else that didn't go away.

  “So,” Oliver said, sitting on the corner of the hotel bed, watching as she took the love seat instead. He propped up his guitar and strummed. Then she noticed that he was in his boxers. Or what looked like boxers.

  He looks like…a boyfriend, Haley thought, her heart feeling a sad pinch. The kind she wanted when she was a teenager. Artistic, intense, but didn’t take himself seriously, didn’t mind spending an evening strumming idly like so. There weren’t a lot of those when she was actually a teen.

  He was looking at her, sort of expectantly. “Long day?”

  “Very,” Haley said. She tilted her head back and ju
st let the strings and their music reach her, tickling a path down her spine. She was seriously feeling it. “Is that Cornelia?”

  He smiled, his hand possessively resting on a curve on the butterscotch-colored instrument. “Yes. My dad and I got her when I was fifteen. But you know that, right?”

  She blushed and continued looking up at the ceiling. “It was in the People article.”

  “Hey, I heard something today.” The strumming led to the beginning of a song, one that she was starting to vaguely recognize. “Something about Florida.”

  “Hmm?” Haley asked. Her job application?

  “About my concert. And a hurricane.”

  Oh my God. So Haley wished for the love seat to swallow her whole. “Who told you?”

  “Does it matter? That was unexpectedly the last stop on my tour. I’m actually glad you made it there; they cancelled the other dates after that.”

  “Yeah,” Haley said softly.

  “So you went? What did you think?”

  Half of Haley's focus was on the guitar, trying to figure out what he was playing, because it seemed like the less embarrassing thing to do. “I… I loved it. You were great, as usual.”

  Oliver kept playing. She settled into her seat, loving how without the stubble he looked just like he did when he was younger, right when she was so into him. His fingers knew Cornelia well, plucked at her strings lovingly, knowingly, playfully. “I wrote that album in the middle of a breakdown. Do you think it showed?”

  Haley sighed. She wouldn't have put it that way. Something was off about that night, but she thought it was her. That she had outgrown him, and when she applauded at his encore it was as if she was saying goodbye.

  That was in the spring, earlier this year. It already felt so long ago.

  “You were great,” she said. “But I wasn't connecting to it, to you, the way I used to. I didn't think it was your fault though.”

  His fingers moved a little faster. “It is my fault. If I had you before and lost you, it's my fault.”