by Donna Alward
“You’re not kidding.” He put his hand on her shoulder. “It just brought back some memories, that’s all. But I’m fine, Abby.”
He thought back to how he’d dealt with his feelings and hoped he wasn’t blushing.
“Lizzie got home all right?”
Damned heat crawled up his neck. He took another drink of coffee, wondering if the cup might camouflage his embarrassment. “Yeah. Safe and sound.” And hot and naked. Just thinking about it made his body react. Meggie came down the hall, her eyes tired but twinkling. “I’m officially kicked out,” she said, flopping into a seat. “Contractions are two minutes apart, and Jess is getting grouchy. Fast labor for a first one.”
Josh chuckled. “You threw Rick to the wolves, did you?”
Meggie’s eyes softened. “He’s doing a fine job. I swear, the two of them used to fight like cats and dogs. And now he’s all ‘sweetheart’ and she’s all ‘honey’ and he’s holding her hand telling her how wonderful she is.”
“That’s lovely,” Abby said wistfully.
Josh laughed. “Give it a while longer. He’ll come out of there looking like he’s been in a war zone and the peace treaty’s just been announced. Battered, bruised, and happy.”
There were a few windows to the waiting room and the gray dawn warmed to pinks and soft blues as the sun came up on another scorcher of a day. Sarah had brought a needlework project along and Josh noticed the needle moving slower and slower until she finally dozed off, her head resting against the pillar next to her chair. Meggie flipped through a magazine and Abby turned the pages of a book—it looked to be one of the ancient ones from the library at Foster House. All he had with him was his phone, and he was half-tempted to send Lizzie a text. But she’d probably gone back to bed, and besides, he wasn’t really sure what to say.
She was his first since the end of his marriage. He imagined that would surprise her, and he knew for sure it hadn’t been that long for her since her last lover. After all, she’d been with this Ian guy just this past spring.
Before Erin there had only been two others. It was pretty limited experience for a man over thirty. He figured it was better to keep that information to himself. Lizzie wasn’t interested in anything serious, and hearing that sort of thing might scare her off big-time. Sex wasn’t something he tended to do casually.
He wasn’t looking for anything serious, either. He considered that for a bit. Maybe that was why it had been so good with Lizzie. So easy. No agenda other than being together and in the moment.
He picked up a magazine and started to flip blindly through the pages when his cell buzzed in his back pocket. He took it out and checked the screen and felt a little burst of pleasure when he saw a text from her.
Any news?
He put down the magazine and used both thumbs to type back:
Nothing yet. Shouldn’t be long.
He hesitated and then typed:
Did you get any more sleep?
Not really. Went for a run on the beach. Don’t worry about the clinic today.
Thanks. I’ll check in later.
He put his phone down for a moment and deliberated. Realistically he should probably back right off where Lizzie was concerned. He reached for his coffee only to realize it had gone completely cold and put it back down on the table.
They were consenting adults. And last night … damn. Could he really just walk away from that entirely?
He picked up the phone again.
Hey, can I see you tonight?
The response seemed to take a long time coming, and he wondered if she’d left to do something or if she really didn’t want to answer him.
I don’t know, Josh. Can we talk about it later?
He really shouldn’t feel let down by her response. Maybe it was just that she didn’t want to talk about it in texts. It was easy to miss tone, nuance. He checked his watch. It was just after seven. Maybe she was getting ready for work. Maybe he was analyzing the shit out of the situation and he should just chill.
Of course. Will txt with news.
He felt like an idiot, but he added a smiling emoji to the end. God, what was he, sixteen?
And then he let out a breath and smiled to himself. Of course he wasn’t. At sixteen the sex would never have been as good as it was last night.
* * *
It was another half hour before Rick came down the hall, looking utterly exhausted and completely thrilled. “It’s a boy,” he said proudly. He ran his hand through his hair. “Holy crap. I’m a dad.”
Everyone got up and congratulated him with hugs and smiles. Josh shook his hand and asked after Jess.
“She was a real trooper,” Rick said, pride filling his voice. “Apparently this was fast for a first birth, and he’s over eight pounds. I always knew she was strong. But I had no idea.”
Josh clapped him on the shoulder. “She has a good partner. Makes a big difference.”
Indeed. Partnerships made the best marriages, to Josh’s mind. Not that he’d really know. It wasn’t from lack of trying … but looking back, he saw it seemed his marriage had been best when they weren’t in the same country. What a sad statement.
Rick looked at Meggie. “Well, Grandma, Jess has asked for you. Once she’s cleaned up a bit, you can all come for a visit.”
Rick disappeared with Meggie, and Abby and Sarah decided to dash to the cafeteria for tea and a quick bite now that it was over. Josh went along simply for something to do and bought the girls their tea and an assortment of muffins to tide everyone over until they could have a proper breakfast. When they returned to the maternity unit, Jess had been moved into her room and the nurse walked them down the hall, past the nursery with babies, and up to a closed door.
She gave a tap on the door and opened it a crack.
“Some people here are awfully curious about a new baby boy. Should I let them in?”
Jess must have said yes, because the nurse opened the door for them to enter.
Josh had never seen his sister look so beautiful.
She looked tired and a little drawn, and her dark hair was damp around her face, curlier than ever. She didn’t have on a smidge of makeup, but her face simply radiated a happiness and joy that no cosmetics could imitate. She’d changed into a pair of pajamas, and in the crook of her arm was a blanket-wrapped bundle. Her son. Josh got a lump in his throat. After all his baby sister had been through, it was incredible to see her so perfectly happy at this moment. No one he knew deserved it more.
Rick sat at the foot of the bed, beaming as most new fathers were bound to do. This was how it was supposed to be. A baby wanted and welcome and loved, and two parents who loved each other, too.
“So, do we have a name?” asked Sarah, stepping forward and putting her hot tea down on the rolling table that was currently pushed to the side. “Come on now, let his auntie have a turn. My first nephew! It’s about time, Sis!”
Sarah gently took the bundle from Jess’s arms and her face softened. “He’s beautiful, Jess. A Collins through and through.”
Abby laughed. “Don’t discount the Foster blood in there, now.” Josh watched as Abby reached over and took Rick’s hand. “I think my cousin here had something to do with it.”
Rick grinned. “Abby, you’re beautiful, but I’m perfectly okay with our children looking just like their mother.”
Which was the perfect answer, as all the women in the room melted.
Jess eased herself up a little. “In answer to your question, yes, we have a name.” She looked at Rick. “We’ve decided on Liam Joshua Franklin Sullivan. A bit of a long handle, but I think he can handle it.”
Josh stared at Jess, then looked over at Sarah and Meggie. Both had tears in their eyes. It was wonderful that Jess had included their father’s name, particularly as he never lived to see any of his grandkids. “It’s perfect,” Josh said. “And I’m honored.”
Rick nodded at Josh. “I know how much your help has meant to Jess over the years, and you’re
my best friend. We’re the ones who’re honored, Josh.”
“Oh, for Pete’s sake.” Heads turned to Abby, who was flapping her fingers in front of her face. “I don’t know if it’s hormones or what, but you all have got me crying now!”
There was another sniffle. “Me, too,” Jess admitted.
Sarah was standing holding Liam, her hips moving to and fro in an automatic “mom” motion. “My hands are full, so don’t make me cry. I can’t wipe my nose.”
They were all chuckling when the door opened again and Tom came through, dressed for work and carrying a teddy bear with a blue ribbon around its neck. Josh still felt a little awkward, so he reached for the chart at the foot of the bed and gave it a quick scan, just to keep occupied.
“Oh, now everyone’s here!” Jess exclaimed. “Except Mark and the kids. But really. You guys…” She blinked again, quite quickly. “Thank you. Thank you all for sticking by me and for getting up in the middle of the night.” She met Josh’s gaze, a startled expression on her face. “Wait. Josh, don’t you have patients to see?”
“Lizzie’s covering for me this morning. Where else would I be but here?”
But what seemed odd was that it felt like Lizzie should be here, too. Probably just because he’d left her so abruptly this morning.
God, what would the people in this room say if they knew he’d left Lizzie’s bed to come to the hospital? Plenty, he imagined. He knew they liked Lizzie, but would they still if they knew she and Josh had slept together? His mother certainly wouldn’t understand how they could have a physical relationship knowing that it was strictly temporary. She was of the belief that sex should be part of a far deeper, more permanent relationship.
While it felt weird to be sneaking around at his age, he valued his privacy too much to make anything obvious. He’d already left his truck parked in front of Lizzie’s cottage all night, which wasn’t the best way of being discreet.
And he hadn’t yet texted her with the news.
“Speaking of, I’ll be back in a few minutes. I’m just going to check in with Robin and make sure everything’s okay at the clinic.”
He stepped outside and, in the quiet of the hall, pulled out his phone.
Baby Boy. 8 lbs 4 oz, 21 ½ inches long, Liam Joshua Franklin Sullivan.
The reply was swift.
Yay! Congrats, Uncle Josh! You must be thrilled. Fast work for Jess. Everything okay?
Everything is perfect. Clinic okay?
Once more the answer came back quickly.
I got this. Got some results back so need to go over tests later. Take a rain check on tonight?
He didn’t want to push. And her tone seemed more easygoing now than it had earlier.
Of course. I’ll check in later at the office.
Not necessary.
She, too, added a smiley face, just as he had earlier.
Take a day off and spend it with your family. And give Jess and Rick my congrats.
And that was that.
He opened the door to Jess’s room, but no one noticed him there. Meggie was holding Liam now, and Sarah was getting Jess some water and a muffin from the bag. Abby and Tom were standing together, Tom with one arm looped around his wife’s waist, and Rick was sitting next to Jess, the picture of contentment. It was like everything fit into a perfect place and there was no room for Josh. He knew it wasn’t true. But it felt true. He was the odd one out.
Today he really wasn’t needed anywhere.
CHAPTER 15
After cabbing it to work, Lizzie spent the day keeping everything to a brutally efficient schedule. The last appointment of the day was slotted for three o’clock, and she managed to finish all the appointments by quarter to four and paperwork by four thirty, with a list of follow-up calls for Robin to make the next day and a stack of filing to go with it.
Lizzie had hit her second wind about 2:00 p.m. but now, with the work done, found herself at loose ends.
What she really wanted to do was drive to Josh’s house, go inside, strip all his clothes off, and continue what they’d begun last night.
And that would be a big mistake. Engaging in an affair was risky enough. But she didn’t have to be totally stupid about it. In the past Lizzie wouldn’t have cared, but it was a different situation with Josh. Until this past year, she’d always kept her work and social life distinctly separate. Neither interfered with the other and it worked perfectly. And then Ian had come along, and for the first time she’d blurred the lines. It had been an unqualified disaster, and she didn’t want to make the same mistakes. She had to look at the big picture.
The big picture said that Josh was a hot single doc who wasn’t looking for anything permanent and she was temporary and definitely attracted. That part of it worked. What didn’t work was that she was discovering she had feelings. Attachments. Like how she hadn’t wanted him to get out of bed this morning. Like how it had hurt just a little that he didn’t even consider asking her to go to the hospital with him. She wouldn’t have, but the offer might have been nice.
This wasn’t like her. Usually she welcomed the distance. Like when she was a kid and didn’t like different foods touching each other on her plate. Compartmentalizing worked.
It was different in Jewell Cove. Everything seemed to blend together. Friends, neighbors, work, play … and, most of all, Josh. And that was very, very troubling. Josh Collins was getting under her skin.
What she really needed was a sounding board, so she picked up the phone and called Charlie. Lizzie hadn’t spent a lot of time with her best friend lately, and it was time to remedy the situation. Charlie was thrilled with Lizzie’s offer of pizza for dinner, particularly since Dave had taken on a moonlighting job for a few days, working on someone’s boat up in Bar Harbor.
One Gino’s special later, and Lizzie was on Charlie’s doorstep.
The first thing Lizzie noticed was that Charlie had really expanded over the last few weeks. “Look at you! You’re huge!” Lizzie said bluntly, but smiled from ear to ear. “How many weeks have you got left again?” It seemed like only yesterday she’d shown up to find Charlie with a baby bump, and now she looked ready to pop.
Charlie laughed. “Nearly six. And I’m hitting that point where I feel like I am ready to move things along. It’s like walking around with a basketball sitting on your bladder.” Charlie waggled her fingers for the pizza box. “Come on in; we’re starving.”
Lizzie went in and slid off her sandals. “Hey, did you hear? Jess had a baby boy this morning. Over eight pounds and all ten fingers and toes. The family is over the moon.”
“Oh yay!” Charlie’s smile was wide. “And lucky Jess. I’m starting to understand how she’s felt for the last month.”
“I’m really sorry I haven’t been around more,” Lizzie apologized as she followed Charlie into the kitchen and put the pizza on the butcher block. “Work’s kept me a bit busy, but I’ve been to see my mom, too, and I’ve been running on the beach a lot. Turns out I do okay with solitude. Who would have thought it?”
Charlie chuckled as she went for plates. “Lizzie darling, I think you’re ready to hear something.”
Lizzie finished opening the pizza box and faced her friend. “Oh?”
“Honey, you always had to go from one thing to another without stopping and you never really took time to be with yourself. I don’t know why that is, but I think it’s wonderful that you’re actually comfortable enough with yourself now to enjoy your own company.”
Lizzie sank down on one of the bar stools. “Cripes, Charlie. That’s profound.”
Charlie raised an eyebrow. “It happens now and again. I’ve probably just burned up my one remaining brain cell with that bit of insight.” Charlie handed Lizzie a plate.
The pizza was still hot and Lizzie thought about what Charlie’d said as she slid a slice onto her plate. It was true, she supposed. She worked hard, and she’d played hard, too. She’d kept up a pretty active social life, but how meaningful had it really
been? Not one of those friends had checked in with her since she’d left Springfield. Not one. And that might have stung a little except Lizzie realized she didn’t really miss them, either. What did that say about her relationships?
Instead she found herself thinking about Josh. His smile, the way he kissed, how he looked steering the boat into the leaning dock at Lovers’ Island and talked about searching for buried treasure. She was going to miss that when she left town.
Oh boy. She was in trouble, wasn’t she? And wasn’t that why she was here, after all? To have Charlie talk some sense into her?
“Charlie? I’ve done something really, really stupid.”
Charlie plopped a piece of pizza on her plate, ripped off two pieces of paper towels in lieu of napkins, and handed Lizzie a soda from the fridge. “Oh, how bad can it be?” she joked. “What’d you do, sleep with Josh?”
Heat rushed up Lizzie’s face.
“Oh shit. You did? Lizzie! When?” Pizza forgotten, Charlie sat on a stool and stared at her friend.
“Last night. Though we came close … once before.”
“Last night? What … how?” Charlie popped the top on her soda and leaned in, her eyes twinkling. “Well. How was it?”
Lizzie couldn’t help it; she laughed. “That’s like four questions, Charlie. Pick one and I’ll answer it. Maybe.”
“Easy. First question: how was it?”
Lizzie looked down at her pizza, suddenly feeling a little bashful, which was not her style at all.
“Truthfully? It was amazing.” She fought to keep the memories from surfacing again. They were more than a little X-rated and had been distracting her all day. She lifted her eyes and found Charlie studying her in the way she always did—with an honest eye.
“Honey,” Charlie said softly. “Was it really that good?”
Lizzie felt unfamiliar emotions swamping her. “Don’t. Don’t talk in that tone of voice, okay? It makes me feel like I’m, I don’t know, fragile or something.”
Charlie sighed. “Okay, then I’ll just ask. Are you falling in love with him?”
“Of course not,” she denied quickly, and then her heart gave a strange lurch. No, it wasn’t possible. She wasn’t falling in love, for God’s sake. She didn’t do love. “It’s just sex. I mean, I like him and everything. And last night when he found out that Abby’s pregnant, the look on his face, I mean, he looked so conflicted. And he just kind of stands to the side, out of the way. And his family relies on him to hold things together, you know? They don’t even realize they’re doing it.”