Van: Vested Interest #5

by Melanie Moreland

  She peered up at me, her eyes round. “Bacon? I never had bacon on mine. I love bacon!”

  “Well, we’ll have to change that today.”

  Liv laughed quietly, shaking her head and mumbling about the two of us being trouble.

  When we reached my truck, she paused. “Um, we should walk.”

  I opened the back door. “I know what you’re thinking, Liv. I’ve got it.” With a few simple tugs and adjustments, I stood back, grinning proudly. “Voila! Instant child seat.”

  “Wow.”

  “It was a built-in feature. Surprisingly, it’s come in handy at times.”

  A strange look flitted across her face. “Oh.”

  “I’ve gone fishing with a buddy and his son a few times. Jesse is the same age as Sammy.”

  “Oh,” Liv repeated, this time with a smile. “Handy.”

  “Yep.” Leaning down, I picked up Sammy, lifting her into the seat, and strapping her in. She giggled as I made sure she was safe, tugging on the straps and ensuring her hair wasn’t caught in the restraint. Once she was settled, I opened the door for Liv. “Madam, your chariot awaits.”

  She peered at the truck with uncertainty. I tried not to laugh at the look of trepidation on her face as she eyed the distance between the ground and the door. Without thinking, I looped my arm around her waist and lifted her into the cab. She squealed and grabbed my arm as I hoisted her up, settling her into the passenger seat. She was a small, warm weight in my arms. Close enough I could smell the scent of her floral perfume. Her hand looked minute clutching my biceps, and somehow, I liked the feeling of the way my size dwarfed her.

  As though I were protecting her.

  Our gazes locked momentarily as I hunched over her. Her beautiful golden eyes had flecks of brown and green that caught the light. The dark circle around her irises made them stand out. They were unique. A strand of her tawny hair drifted across her cheek, and without a thought, I tucked it behind her ear, my fingers drifting over the silkiness of her cheek.

  “Do you need help with your seat belt?” I murmured, my voice pitched low.

  Wordlessly, she shook her head.

  My gaze dropped to her mouth, the rosy tone of her lips tempting me. Her teeth sank into the plump flesh of her bottom lip, and I tugged gently, freeing it from the attack. When my finger touched her mouth, she gasped quietly, the action causing her tongue to flick against my skin.

  Instantly, the thoughts of what her tongue would feel like pressed to mine filled my head. How her mouth would taste as I kissed her. The way her hair would feel grasped in my fist as I explored her.

  It was only when Sammy clapped her hands, giggling at the way I had lifted her mom into the truck that I realized how close I was bent over Liv. How rapid her breathing had become, mine matching her fast inhales. Had I dropped a mere few inches, our mouths would have fused together.

  With a start, I realized how much I wanted that to happen.

  Blinking, I stepped back, shaking my head to clear it. Liv’s gaze was shocked, confused, perhaps even a little disappointed as I met her eyes, then shut the truck door. I adjusted myself as I walked around the back of the truck to the driver’s side, wondering if this was, after all, a good idea. Spending more time with Liv and Sammy—it could prove to be complicated.

  I hated complicated.

  Yet, despite my misgivings, I found I wanted it anyway.

  When we reached the diner, Liv scrambled out of the truck before I could get out and help her. Sammy raised her arms, letting me lift her from the truck. Once again, her tiny hand rested in mine as we walked into the restaurant. Her other hand was clutched in Liv’s as she chatted away. Her dialogue never ceased the entire meal, filling the silence that had fallen between Liv and me.

  Our eyes met several times, holding briefly, then skittering away. I felt the occasional press of Liv’s knees against mine under the table as she would shift or turn to help Sammy with her meal. I observed her carefully as I sipped my coffee and devoured two grilled cheese and bacon sandwiches, plus a salad, and most of Sammy’s fries. Liv was an attentive mother, smiling and responding to Sammy’s never-ending questions and queries.

  “Where does bacon come from, Mommy?”

  “How come ketchup is red?”

  “Can you push me on the swing, Mr. Van, when we get to the park?”

  I startled hearing my name, but I quickly agreed.

  “I can do that.”

  “Will you catch me when I slide?”

  “Sure.”

  “Maybe you could come on the monkey bars with me.”

  I had been to the park before, and I knew the playground. It wasn’t far from my house, and I liked to run through it during my spare time, often sitting on a bench and watching families together and imagining having one of my own. At times, I fought down the swell of sadness at my thoughts.

  “I think I’m too big for the monkey bars, Mouse. But I’ll watch you.”

  “Okay,” she agreed easily, finishing her sandwich, or at least most of it. Crusts, she informed me, were yuck. She giggled loudly when I shook my head in disagreement and made a point of eating mine first, telling her they were the best part. Liv laughed quietly when Sammy nibbled at the crisp edges, testing them out. Liv rolled her eyes at me as we shared the quiet joke of watching Sammy.

  It was an oddly intimate moment.

  At the park, I caught Sammy as she hurtled down the slide. Pushed her as high as I dared on the swing, listening to her squeals of delight. Made her and Liv laugh as I hung from the monkey bars, holding my legs as high as they would go, my feet still hitting the ground. I made funny monkey noises, then chased Sammy around the trees, threatening to catch and tickle her until she begged for mercy.

  Finally, we grabbed ice cream cones and sat on the bench eating them. Sammy still had lots to tell me, although she had talked nonstop the entire afternoon.

  “Sammy, take a breath,” Liv admonished her. “Stop talking Van’s ear off, and eat your ice cream.”

  Sammy frowned, tilting her head from side to side to study me.

  “He still has both ears, Mommy. I can’t be talking that much,” she replied.

  My laughter was loud, making Liv jump and causing Sammy to giggle.

  “It’s all good, Liv. I like hearing Mouse talk.”

  Sammy finished her ice cream and jumped to her feet. “Can I go back on the swings?”

  “Yes,” Liv said. “Make sure I can see you at all times.”

  “Okay. Watch me, Mr. Van!”

  “I will, kiddo.”

  I slid over on the bench closer to Liv. I finished my ice cream and stretched, letting my arm rest on the back of the bench. We watched Sammy soar high, leaning back so her hair trailed low into the dust of the sand below her.

  “Oh God, she is gonna need a bath and a shower tonight,” Liv muttered.

  “Is she always this full of energy?”

  “Feels like it. She’s a busy little girl.”

  “She’s awesome.”

  Liv smiled, looking downward. I noticed she did that a lot when she smiled. As if she didn’t want to share her smile. I wanted her to share it with me.

  I stretched, stifling a groan at the effort.

  “Are you still in pain?” she asked quietly.

  “I always am. Some days are worse than others. I’ll survive.”

  “You shouldn’t have played on the monkey bars,” she scolded. “Sammy is old enough to understand the word no and why you couldn’t have done so.”

  I waved my hand, dismissing her concern. “It’s fine, Liv. I try not to let it affect my life. If I give in, I’m done for. Swinging a little on the monkey bars didn’t harm me. Mouse got a kick out of it, and I enjoyed it.”

  She pursed her lips and stayed silent. She finished her cone and wiped her fingers. “Thank you for being so kind today, Van.”

  “Not a problem. It was fun.”

  Liv made a strange noise in the back of her throat but didn’t sa
y anything else.

  I watched Sammy for a few more minutes. She jumped from the swing over to the monkey bars, chatting with another little girl. Both of them hung upside down, swinging and talking as if it was normal. I had to chuckle.

  Liv groaned. “I hate it when she does that, but she does it anyway.”

  “She’s being a kid.”

  “Hmm.” She leaned back and crossed her legs. Her hair brushed against my arm, the strands soft. I had to resist bunching it in my hand.

  I cleared my throat. “Her dad around?”

  Liv scoffed. “No.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. We’re better off without him. Both of us.”

  The bitterness and pain in her voice were blatant.

  “Then I’m glad he’s out of the picture. How long ago did you divorce?”

  Liv shifted, turning toward me. “We were never married. I was young when I met Chris. Looking for myself, for love. He seemed great—charming and nice. Interested.”

  “But?” I asked.

  “It took me a while to see the real him. He was very good at hiding it. He was anything but nice underneath. Demanding, exacting, controlling. Mean.”

  My hands curled into fists. “Did he lay hands on you, Liv?”

  “No. He used words to hurt.” Her eyes focused on something behind me as she gathered her thoughts. “My mom said I was following in her footsteps. My father was the same way, and it took her a long time to walk away. When I discovered I was pregnant, I told Chris. He wasn’t happy.”

  “So you split?”

  “Yes. He walked out.” She laughed, the sound bitter. “When I found out it was a girl, I went to see him. I thought he would see the ultrasound picture, realize what he was missing, and we’d try again. I was still in denial about his real self.”

  “I assume that wasn’t what happened.”

  “No. When I told him, showed him the picture, he informed me he didn’t need another weak, clingy female to look after. He told me to get rid of it.” Liv’s voice shook. “He looked at a picture of his daughter, a tiny little being growing inside me, and called her an it. As if she was nothing. As if I was nothing. Right then, I realized how stupid I was being even wanting to give him a chance. I walked away and never looked back. My lawyer sent him papers, and he signed away his rights.” She wiped at her cheek. “Last I had heard, he left town. I have no idea where he is, and I hope never to see him again.”

  “Bastard,” I growled, looking over at Sammy. How could anyone walk away from their child? It was inconceivable to me.

  “I can’t believe I told you my sob story. I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. I asked.” I wrapped my hand around hers, holding it tight. “I think you’re amazing, Liv. Sammy is a great kid.”

  She stared down at our hands. “What are you doing here, Van?”

  Our eyes locked.

  “I don’t know,” I admitted.

  “I can’t-I can’t do this. I don’t date.” Liv slid her hand from mine. “I like you, Van. I think you’re wonderful. But only as a friend.”

  I felt a frisson of sadness at her words. I heard the pain and finality in her voice.

  I also heard regret. Somehow, it made her words easier to take and made me push a little more.

  “I don’t date, either, Liv. But we can be friends, right? Maybe grab a sandwich and an ice cream with Mouse on occasion?”

  “I don’t want to confuse Sammy.” She moved her fingers restlessly on her lap. “She likes you, and she tends to become attached.”

  “I like her. I don’t plan on going anywhere, Liv. We’re friends already, and we can stay friends. The occasional sandwich or ice cream isn’t going to confuse her.” I played the best card I could think of at the moment. “Men and women can be friends. Hang out on occasion. Surely, you want her to understand that?”

  She paused.

  “I love kids,” I admitted. “I like her. I would enjoy seeing her every so often, if you wouldn’t mind.”

  “I sense there’s a story there.”

  I nodded, not meeting her eyes. “Maybe one day I’ll tell you.”

  She was quiet for a moment, seemingly contemplative. “Maybe one day you will.”

  She turned and faced Sammy again, ever watchful. I copied her posture, my head filled with thoughts, swirling with odd emotions.

  All of them stemmed from the pretty woman beside me and the child laughing across the playground.

  I knew Liv knew how to drive but didn’t own a car, so I drove them home, the feeling of regret pulsating in my chest as I pulled up in front of her building. I had enjoyed the simplicity of the afternoon and their company. Both of them. I didn’t want it to end, even though I knew it was for the best.

  Liv was cautious. She had to consider Sammy, and I understood her trepidation. I understood that more than my own desire to spend time with her. Get to know what made Liv tick. It made no sense. I wasn’t in the market for a relationship, but somehow my heart hadn’t gotten that message.

  I was more confused than ever.

  Liv

  I watched Van drive away, still unable to believe we’d spent the day with him. It didn’t seem real. He didn’t seem real.

  From the moment I met Van, he was larger than life. And not only his size. Tall and broad, he was a wall of muscle. All his shirts stretched tight over his wide biceps. His preferred denim overalls hugged his torso and showed off his tight ass. His waist was thick, his long legs powerful. The first time I had seen him, I’d stepped back as a shot of alarm tore through me. Then I met his gaze. Warm, kind, and calm, his deep brown eyes showed the compassionate soul that lurked under the massive build. His handshake was gentle and his voice soothing. He put me at ease right away and had never given me any concern to be wary of him.

  I had never seen him lose his cool. He handled every problem or issue that occurred with the same patient mind-set he had shown Sammy earlier.

  The longer we worked together, the more my admiration for him grew. He was thoughtful, concise, and could build or create anything. His talent was endless. He treated his crews with respect, and they worked hard in return. He expected nothing less than the best, and he led by example. He wasn’t the kind of manager who sat back and let others do the work. He toiled as hard as his crews, if not harder. He was a great listener, and a supportive coworker. Working with him was a pleasure, and I enjoyed our interactions.

  Another added layer to his talent was his music. I had gone with some people from the office to hear him play at a bar one night. Watching the way his fingers coaxed the haunting notes from his guitar was enthralling. I felt his passion as he played, lost in the nuances and scope of the song. He stayed in the background, seemingly content to let others take the spotlight, but I was unable to take my eyes off him. The lights cast shadows on his face and highlighted the glints of silver in his hair and scruff. His muscles rippled as he played. A small, sexy grin curled his lips.

  And when he sang…

  I thought my heart would explode in my chest. Low, raspy, and sensual. Filled with passion and desire, his voice made me feel things I hadn’t felt in years. It created a sense of longing that left me breathless.

  Now, when I could, I went to see him. I never told anyone, and he didn’t know I was there. I would sit in the back, cloaked by the darkness and listen, filled with my own longing I knew would never be resolved.

  I would never risk myself that way again.

  Sammy tugged on my hand. “Come on, Mommy!”

  We walked into the apartment building, and Sammy ran to her room. I heard her talking to her dolls, telling them about the park, lunch, and the bookshelf Mr. Van had drawn for her. I made a cup of coffee and sat at the small kitchen table, sipping the brew and thinking more about the day.

  Lunch had been fun, Sammy, of course, being her usual direct self when talking to Van. He was wonderful with her, always answering her questions, and responding with humor.

  He
had leaned forward at one point, asking me if I was okay since I had been quiet. I was surprised he had noticed, but I hastened to assure him I was fine.

  “Yes, of course. I was, ah, thinking about the design I had been working on.”

  “Well, lunch will be here any moment. Forget about work and enjoy the day.”

  “Then we go to the park!” Sammy exclaimed, grinning as she lifted her head from the place mat she was coloring with the crayons the waitress had given her.

  Van grinned at her, his eyes twinkling. “The happy place.”

  The waitress slid my grilled chicken salad in front of me and handed Sammy her new favorite—a bacon and grilled cheese sandwich. My eyes grew round as Van’s lunch appeared in front of him. Two double grilled cheese and bacon sandwiches along with French fries, a salad, and coleslaw filled his plate.

  “Are you gonna eat all that?” Sammy asked, her eyes wide with awe.

  “Sammy!” I admonished her.

  Van only laughed as he lifted his sandwich. “I eat a lot, Sammy. I’m a big guy.”

  She lifted her sandwich, biting into it, looking thoughtful. “I’m just a little girl.”

  He threw me a wink. “Yep. A little mouse.”

  She giggled, dipping her sandwich into the ketchup I added to her plate. “Mommy says I eat like a horse sometimes. They are way bigger than a mouse.”

  He winked. “That they are, Sammy. Do you like horses?”

  She nodded enthusiastically. “Mommy took me to ride one once. It was awesome!”

  He chewed slowly, then wiped his mouth. “Maybe we’ll go one day.”

  Sammy’s face lit up. “Yeah!”

  I sighed remembering how happy those words made her. I thought about his remarks as we sat on the bench. How nice it had felt to sit beside him—his sheer size made me feel safe, and his gentle demeanor was both appealing and sexy. My body had responded to him when he lifted me into the truck as if I weighed nothing. Being in his arms, even for a moment, had felt so amazing. I thought of the way he hovered over me, his warm breath drifting across my face as he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. Despite the fact that Sammy was behind me, I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted to feel his mouth on mine and taste him. To know how it would feel to be in his arms for longer than a minute. Sammy’s giggle had broken the moment, which was a good thing. Another second pressed so close to Van, and I might have lost my head and kissed him. We both would have been embarrassed.