by Shan
I don’t know what I would do if something was to happen to her which is why I couldn’t allow her to go out there searching for Rozalyn.
"I told her not to go back to him. This shit would have never happened if she would’ve just stayed away from him," Toya said as she wiped the tears from her eyes that escaped from its corners.
"Don’t blame this shit on him, Toya!" I yelled frustrated with what she was saying. She act like somebody forced Rozalyn to be with Tae. As far as I knew it was a consensual relationship. Rozalyn was aware of what Tamar did before she got involved with him, so she had to know what came with being connected to a hustler.
"She should have just came and stayed over here like I told her to once she left that damn hospital and none of this shit would have ever happened," Toya said.
"Maybe, maybe not. You really don’t know that for sure. All I know is that if Rozalyn didn’t want to be with him she wouldn’t be with him. I told you before you gotta start staying out their business."
"Yea, whatever. Ma', you need to just let that nigga die! He laying up here drunk as a fucking skunk when he should be out there looking for my friend!"
Toya jumped out of her chair and I had to reach and catch her mid-air. I let Tanya continue to work on Tae and carried Toya to the bedroom to calm her down. Her body was trembling, tears flowed from her eyes and there was nothing I could do for her.
We looked for Rozalyn, looked everywhere. High and low. Long and wide. And she wasn’t anywhere to be found. I wondered if Andre murked her ass and threw her in the river or the landfill somewhere. I hoped like hell that he didn’t.
I couldn’t afford for Toya to go crazy and I damn sure couldn’t afford for Tamar's ass to fall off the wagon again and start killing any and everybody. Luckily we got away with that shit the last time as careless and stupid as he was going about doing everything. The police assumed it was some racist shit going on and that some white folks went crazy and started killing off a bunch of black people. I didn’t give a fuck what they thought long as they didn’t think about us.
A couple of hours later, I was able to get Toya to sleep and Tamar was resting on the couch like a drunk ass baby. I walked into my backyard fired up a fat ass blunt and sipped on a beer. It was early as hell, but that didn’t matter. A nigga mind was wondering about a whole lot of shit right now. I wondered what it would be like to be normal; have a normal life and not have to worry about shit. Fact was I wouldn’t have to worry about money problems ever again, but there was still life.
I still had to worry about the hundreds of lives I’ve taken away and whether that shit would come back on me or not. Karma was a bitch and it wouldn’t be long before the depth of my sins came back to bite me in my ass like a vicious pit bull.
I really wanted to settle down and have kids, but that shit was highly unlikely. I wasn’t trying to have no man or woman come and take my child away from me like they’d done to my boy. That’s not some shit I was trying to go through or put my woman through. As badly as she wanted kids, I was just too fucking scared to give them to her.
I didn’t doubt that I would be a good father and was for sure that I would take care of it. I just didn’t want to take a risk on somebody seeking revenge against me and taking it out on my seed.
"Baby, how long you been out here? Why you not in the bed?" Toya asked me pulling me from my thoughts.
"Just got a lot on my mind. All this shit going on got me really thinking," I said.
"About what?" Toya asked as she took a seat onto my lap and grabbed the blunt from my hand.
"About how much longer I wanna stay in this game. Tae say two more years and we should be set, but I’m kind of thinking I’m ready to just chill out now, cut my losses and go with what I got."
"You know I would love that more than anything. I’m ready for a ring and I’m ready to start a family but—"
"I already know if he don’t quit I ain’t quitting. Shit, that’s my nigga and I gotta have his back. Look how that nigga Dre and Ro done fucked him over. I can’t leave his side now."
"Just talk to him about it. I think he will be more than willing to stop after this shit done happened with his son and Rozalyn. We got enough money to sit down and have a good life. I know if you got enough money that nigga Tae have more than enough money." Toya said as she puffed on the blunt and stuck tip of it into my mouth for me to hit again.
"He said he won’t be satisfied until he reaches a hundred million," I said.
"That’s being greedy Key. Is he going to reach that in two years?"
"I don’t know. I honestly don’t know how much money Tae has. I couldn’t believe he brought that damn house being he so tight and secretive with his shit."
"That’s because he knows that he has more money that what y'all got."
"I don’t expect to have has much money as he does being I don’t do what he do."
"True," Toya kissed me on my lips and wrapped her arms around me laying her head into my chest. "Keylan I just have a feeling that she’s dead. She became like a little sister to me and I connected with her so quickly. I love that damn girl and I just can’t take it if something bad happened to her.
"I know baby girl, let’s just hope we find her or somebody else finds her soon."
27: Rozalyn
"Can I—can I—please have some water?" I asked when I heard the squeaky door open and close. My arms and feet were bounded by rope and the rope was beginning to cut into my skin. I felt someone walk over to me and place a cup to my lip.
Even though the water smelled like they’d pulled it out of the sewage, I didn’t care. I haven’t eaten or drank anything since I left the Red Lobster before all this happened. I was pretty sure I was in a house that was used for dope fiends to come and buy their drugs and get high at cause I could hear the sounds of lighters flickering all throughout the night. I would hear them fighting over who would get the first hit and who would get the last and begging the dope boys to get by when they were short.
"Damn girl slow down," he said and pulled the cup away from my mouth.
I began to cough uncontrollably. My stomach twisted and churned like a blender before a slew of vomit flew from my mouth. Damn I would give anything to see Tae again, see my brother again, and see my friends again. I hated that I didn’t listen to Tae when he told me not to leave the house. I should have listened to him. If I had, I wouldn’t have been here right now. I know they must be worried sick about me.
"Where is Andre? He told me he was going to let me go in a couple of days. Where is he?" I asked.
"Andre is not coming back. Somebody killed him. I can’t let you go until somebody gives me word to do so," he said.
"Can you please just let me go? I promise you I won’t tell anybody. I haven’t seen your face or anything—
I don’t know who you are so please—can you—can you just let me go?"
"Nah, my boss man won’t be too happy if he came back and saw you weren’t here anymore."
"I thought you just said that Andre was dead."
"He is. Andre was not my boss though. So until I hear from him on what to do with you. I can’t let you go."
"I promise—I promise I won’t tell anyone."
"I’m not worried about you telling anyone ‘cause you don’t know who I am. I’m worried about getting paid."
"How much are you getting paid?" I asked.
"What?" he questioned.
"How much you getting paid? I will pay you double."
He laughed, "And how you going to do that? With that nigga Tae money? That cat find out who I am I wouldn’t be able to spend a dollar."
"He doesn’t have to know who you are. I won’t even tell him that I am giving you the money. Please?"
"I can’t do that little mama," he said with hesitation.
"I will triple it and the money is not coming from Tae. It’s money I saved. Please?"
"How much money are you talking about?"
"I have twenty-five thous
and, but I can get more. Please I just wanna see my family again. I didn’t do anything wrong. I don’t deserve to be going through this," I cried.
"How are you going to get me the money without finding out who I am?"
"I can leave it for you somewhere just tell me the place and time and I will do it. You got my word."
I could hear his footsteps come closer to me again. I was hoping that he was finally falling for the bait. I wasn’t going to give his ass a mothafuckin' thing. He was for surely going to get set the fuck up. I needed to get the hell out of here and get back home to my family.
I felt like shit. My head was pounding. I was having a hard time controlling my breathing, sweating like a pig and feeling like I would pass out at any minute. All this shit because I figured out that Andre was the fool that put them slugs in my man that damn near killed him.
The rope around my hands became loose and I immediately began to rub them feeling the rawness of my skin. Just as he was about to untie my legs a set of footsteps came closer to the door and someone began to turn the knob.
"Put your hands back behind your back," my kidnapper whispered.
"What the fuck you doing?" I heard a voice ask.
"Oh I was just giving her some water. She was over here throwing up and shit." My kidnapper answered him as he placed the cup back to my mouth.
"Tie his ass up next to her and now maybe this bitch will talk and tell me what the fuck she knows," the second guy said. I could smell the familiar scent again, the same scent of the guy that raped me the night I lost my son.
On the side of me, I could feel them tying someone up, I didn’t know who. All I could hear was ragged and husky breathing.
"Don’t say shit Roz, don’t worry about me," he said.
"Oh my God, Zae?" I almost took my free hands to reach out and touch him, but quickly remembered that I was supposed to be tied up.
"I’m okay baby girl. Just keep your mouth shut," Zavier said.
"Nah, if she wants what’s best for the both of you she’ll speak the fuck up and tell me what the fuck it is I wanna know!" the second guy with the familiar smell said.
"I don’t know where Tae keeps money. I don’t know! He doesn’t tell me that. I told you already!" I cried.
POW!
"Aaggh!" Zavier screamed.
"Please! Zavier! Why are you doing this? I don’t know where Tamar keeps his money! I promise you I would tell you. Please don’t kill my brother!"
"What all did you tell Tamar? What does he know about who tried to kill him?"
"I only—"I started to say.
"Shut the fuck up! Don’t say shit Roz. They gonna kill you as soon as you do!" Zavier yelled.
"Roz, you better stop listening to your damn brother and tell me what the fuck you know or else the next bullet is going in his head! I wanna know what the fuck you told my—what you told Tae about who tried to kill him and where he hiding his fucking stash!" The familiar smelling guy yelled.
"I didn’t tell Tamar anything about who tried to kill him or why. I don’t know why and I don’t know where his money is! I’m telling you the truth!"
"Roz, please baby girl just be qui—"started Zavier.
POW! POW!
Those two shots sounded like the end of my world. He didn’t scream this time. I didn’t hear the husky and ragged breathing. As much as I wanted to reach out and take him in my hands, I couldn’t. I felt his head fall onto my shoulder, felt a liquid pouring down the side of my arm. Lord please don’t let this be happening right now. I just got to know and love him.
"I don’t know where Tamar’s money is at! I didn’t tell Tamar anything about who tried to kill him because I didn’t talk to him! He wouldn’t take my calls! Look I’m telling you the truth!" My whole body was trembling with fear. They were going to kill me next. It was just a matter of time before I was sprayed with a couple of bullets myself.
"Do I need to bring another one of your people in here so that you get the fucking picture? I’m not playing with you little girl. This is some serious shit you done got your ass involved in and you need to start talking," he said and the same smell hit my nose like a pound of bricks.
"You the one that raped me, right?" I shouldn’t have asked, but I had to know. That same cologne mixed with the musky air and sweat. I know it was him.
"Damn, will shoving this dick in you again make your ass talk?" he asked.
"He gonna find you. I’m not worried about it. I know he’ll make you pay for what you did to me and our son. May not be today or tomorrow, but he’ll find you. I know he will," I cried. I didn’t have any energy left to fight. My son was dead, my brother was dead, and I was next.
"Who back here?" I heard a voice say from the other side of the door.
"Shit!"
A stampede of footsteps ran past me and the sound of glass breaking was heard behind me, I quickly brought my hands up to remove my blindfold and just when I did the door swung open with Tamar standing in the doorway with a gun pointed right at me.
My heart dropped in the pit of my stomach because I was alive. But, oh my God! I looked down on the side of me and saw two tiny holes in the middle of my brother’s skull. They’d killed him over what? This shit just didn’t make any sense to me. What was Tamar doing that was causing all of this mayhem? Thinking back to the first day I met him when those guys rolled up on him just out of the blue, makes me wonder if all this time he’s the one bringing all this madness into his life and into my life.
"Damn ma', I’ve been looking everywhere for you," Tamar said as he kissed me all over as he untied the rope from around my legs. I looked at him and started to feel like he was the enemy when only ten minutes ago I was missing him and wanting to be with him.
"Don’t touch me!" I yelled. "Get the fuck away from me!" I reached over to my brother and slid his head onto my lap. "Call an ambulance for him, he’s not dead. He’s just sleeping."
"Rozalyn, come on we gotta go before the police get here," said Tamar.
I leaned over and kissed the holes on his forehead wishing my lips could heal him. In the back of my head, I knew he was no longer alive, but I hoped that it wasn’t so.
"Please we gotta call the ambulance for him. He just needs to see the doctor and he will be okay!" I insisted.
"Baby, he’s dead," Tamar sighed
"Don’t touch me! He’s not dead! Call an ambulance!"
"Key, call an ambulance. Tell Brandon to clear this muthafucka' out," Tamar said. He walked over to the broken window and looked out of it. "Roz, who was here? Who was holding you here?"
"Y'all find her?" Tavon asked running into the room. "Somebody just called and said she was here."
Tavon walked over to Zavier and me and reached out to feel for a pulse. That scent hit me in my face once again; the smell of death. I looked up at his glassy eyes then down at my brother. It was him, it was Tavon all along. He was the one that raped me, he was the one that helped to beat my baby out of me, he was who was just here that emptied those bullets into my brother. It was him, the last piece of the puzzle that Tamar was trying to solve. It was Tavon, Tamar’s older brother.
"You muthafucka'!" I clawed him with my nails digging deep into the side of his neck. "You did this shit, you bastard!"
I got up on my feet and attacked him, attacked the person that has caused so much pain over these past few months. Tamar grabbed me from behind and pulled me off his sick ass brother. I tried my best to get to him, but Tamar’s strength was too much for me to get away from.
"What the fuck is wrong with you girl? You better calm your ass down! I came here to help you!" screamed Tavon.
"You didn’t come here to help me. You came to cover your tracks! You did this shit! I know it was you! That same musty ass cologne you wear! You the one that raped me! You bastard! Tae, it was him!"
"Roz, you tripping right now. Come on let me get you out of here!" Tamar scoffed.
"I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying with my brother! You
get the fuck out of here and take your sick ass brother with you! Your whole damn family is a bunch of sick muthafuckas, including you! Stay the fuck away from me!"
"Man you need to check this damn bitch! I been out here looking for you! Not getting any damn sleep because I’m trying to help my brother save you from this shit you caused!" Tavon said.
"Just please keep him away from me. Just all of y'all go!" I said through gritted teeth.
"I’m not leaving you here," Tamar handed his pistol to Tavon. "Y'all gone and leave and I’ll meet back up with y'all later. Tell Keylan to come here right quick."
"Alright," Tavon said and left the room.
A couple of minutes later Keylan came into the room and Tamar walked to him and whispered something in his ear. Keylan shook his head no, whispered something back at Tamar and then looked Tamar in his eyes before turning to walk back out of the room. Tamar came back over to me, but didn’t say a word. The look in his eyes told me he was thinking about what I’d accused his brother of.
"Roz, why did you say it was my brother that raped you? I thought that Ro raped you?" Tamar asked.
"No, it wasn’t Ro. Ro doesn’t have the tattoo on his wrist and I will never forget that smell. It was Tavon, Tamar I know it was," I assured him.
"What tattoo, Roz? You never told me about a tattoo. What fucking tattoo?" He yelled.
"The redruM tattoo on his wrist," I recalled.
"RedruM?"
"Yea, on his left wrist. Check him. I know it’s him. It’s there and check for a cut on his neck. I bit a gash into his neck that day, so it’s gotta be something there. On the left side of his neck. It’s all there, I know it is."
28: Rozalyn
1 week later
"Hey, wake up. It’s time to go," Kevin said. I lost one brother and gained another one. Kevin wasn’t supposed to get out of jail for another couple of months, but being his behavior was good and the fact that Zavier had been killed they allowed him to be released early.
"I don’t wanna go," I said. I sat up on the couch and yawned stretching my arms into the air.