Leave it All Behind

by S. R. Watson

  Once we arrive at the restaurant, Jordan pulls up to valet and checks her makeup before getting out. The restaurant itself is romantic and cozy. So this is what life has been reduced to for me—a romantic night out with my best friend. I feel pretty pathetic, but Jordan doesn’t care. She always has my best interest in mind and tonight is operation “Forget Liam.” The hostess finds our reservation and escorts us to our seat on the second floor next to a balcony that overlooks the entire restaurant below. As we sit, I take in the soft lighting and the murals of famous politicians, celebrities, sports, and media figures.

  “This place is beautiful. The faces don’t mesh with the decor though.”

  “The portraits are called caricatures. It’s a tradition that stemmed from the phrase ‘sing for your meal’ where an artist would pay for his meal by drawing a portrait on the wall,” Jordan explains. “As the restaurant branched off to other locations they carried on the tradition.”

  “How do you know all of this?”

  “I looked up this restaurant on the Internet when I heard everyone talking about how fantastic it is.” She smiles at the fact that she did her research.

  The waiter introduces himself as Manuel and asks to take our order. We order the lobster bisque as an appetizer with pinot grigio, but need more time to decide on our main course since we have been chatting instead of looking at the menu.

  He smiles at us warmly while pouring wine into our glasses before leaving to put in our order. As my eyes follow him, they land on a familiar face a few tables down and I freeze. It’s Liam and he is on a date with the blonde from class along with his teammate Jason and his date. There goes that plan.

  Jordan follows my gaze and gasps. “Oh no … do you want to leave?”

  “Hell no. He is not going to run me off just because he is here on a double date.”

  “I’m so sorry. What are the odds he would be here?”

  “Don’t worry about it. You did say there has been a lot of buzz about this place. Let’s just enjoy our night.”

  “What are you going to order?” she asks while studying me.

  “I think I’ll have the veal martini. What about you?” I force myself not to look at Liam, but the thread of my control is unraveling. I take a sip of my wine to calm my nerves.

  “I’ll get the chicken Parmesan and let you have a taste in exchange for a taste of yours,” she offers.

  She knows that is what I usually get when ordering Italian, but I want to try something different. We place our orders once the waiter comes back and I allow myself one more look at the jerk. He is smiling intimately at his date and stroking her arm. I don’t think he is sorry at all for cheating on me. Their familiarity is sickening because it suggests maybe this is not a new relationship—he has strayed more than the one time he has admitted to. I want to claw both of their eyes out. I dig my nails into my palms underneath the table to distract myself from the pain of thinking about it. The physical pain breaks me out of my reverie.

  He has already moved on and I need to do the same. Jordan and I make small talk about her classes, attempting not to discuss anything Liam related, but she knows I am hurting right now. My mulish tendency is preventing me from getting up and fleeing as far as I can from this restaurant. I will not let him win. I excuse myself to use the restroom before our food comes to pull myself together. Jordan nods in understanding. I’m thankful the location of the restrooms is in the opposite direction of Liam’s table so I don’t have to pass him. I’m about to come out of my stall when two female voices stop me from opening the door.

  “Heather, you have hit the jackpot with Liam, he is sexy as hell and the starting quarterback,” the first girl says dreamily.

  “Not to mention he fucks like a stallion,” Heather adds. “He said his ex-girlfriend was only into missionary so he tries to make up for lost time by fucking me every way, but loose. Oh and Melissa, his oral skills are pure magic. I am getting worked up just thinking about it.”

  “You lucky bitch. I am going to see what his friend has to offer tonight and I’ll let you know if he comes up to bat.”

  I feel the bile trying to rise into my throat as silent tears stream down my face. How dare he? We waited until our freshman year of college before I gave Liam my virginity. He was patient with me and told he would wait until I was ready. When I finally gave him my gift, he never tried to be adventurous with me sexually. I never suggested anything else due to my lack of experience and because I just figured he wasn’t into anything else. I thought we had a healthy sex life. This girl makes it seem as though I am sexually inept. Shit maybe I am. Maybe this is why he left me. This realization makes the tears fall harder and I can no longer keep the bile down. I turn and vomit profusely into the toilet behind me.

  “Eww, someone had too much to drink,” the first girl, now known as Melissa, says. “Let’s get the hell out of here before the barfing causes me to lose my appetite.”

  Heather and Melissa leave the restroom without knowing the identity of the person barfing and the subject of their discussion is one in the same. I come out the stall to rinse my mouth out and wipe my face, but I look like crap. I’ve lost my appetite. Liam is apathetic over our demise and laughing at my ineptness. Who is this person? Has he done this all along? Dejectedly, I head back to our table. Jordan notices immediately the change in my demeanor.

  “What’s wrong?

  “Not now, okay? Let’s just get our food to go after all,” I respond, defeated. “I am going to wait in the car. Tell them something came up and we need to leave.”

  “Okay,” she says sadly as she hands me her ticket for the valet.

  I stand and my chair scrapes the floor. Liam looks up and his eyes lock with mine. I try to put on a blank mask, but he knows me too well. Sadness reflects in his eyes and it makes me angry because I don’t want his pity. When he stands to come toward me, I shake my head before rushing out the door. On the ride home, I tell Jordan about the girls’ conversation I overhead. She pounds her fist against the steering wheel and threatens to turn the car around to beat the shit out of Liam. I convince her to leave it alone because I don’t want him to know I overheard how he feels about our sexual experience. When we get home, I don’t even bother eating. I head straight to bed and cry until I eventually fall asleep.

  IT’S MORNING I am even more depressed. I have tried to take my mind off Liam, but that feat is proving to be impossible since I keep seeing him all over campus with the blonde from class and then again on a date last night. My suspicion has grown exponentially that she is the reason for our breakup—she is whom he slept with two weeks ago.

  There is a light knock on my door before Jordan appears in the doorway.

  “I have our morning java,” she says while holding two cups of caramel macchiato.

  “Thanks. I can use the caffeine boost.” I reach for my iPhone and see it’s already noon. I guess after crying until four in the morning, I needed to sleep in.

  “Are you okay? I hate to see you like this.” The look on Jordan’s face tells me she heard me crying last night, but decided to give me some space.

  “I will be. What time is this get-together?” I ask with more enthusiasm than I actually feel. Jordan sees through my facade, but lets it go.

  “I told Bailey we would be there by three o’clock so go shower and I’ll pick out something to wear.”

  I quirk my eyebrows at her. I attempt to resist since I know she tends to show more skin than I do, but she’s not having it. I give up and head into the bathroom to get ready. When I come out, Jordan has laid out a black bikini with red flames on it.

  “This is one of my new swimsuits, but I think your killer curves will do it better justice.”

  “Where is the rest of the material?” I groan.

  “Just try it on.”

  After putting on the bikini, I’m immediately self-conscious about my body. Jordan is tall with model proportions so she looks great in everything. I, on the other hand, am five feet four
with D-cup breasts and a generous backside. This swimsuit leaves little to the imagination.

  “Jordan, I look ridiculous.”

  “Nonsense. Your boobs are luscious and your heart-shaped ass will make all the guys drool.”

  “You are insufferable,” I say as I put denim shorts and a tank top over my swimsuit. I’ll just keep my clothes on over the minuscule material.

  We grab a quick lunch before heading over to Bailey’s. I was starving after skipping dinner last night. Jordan insisted we needed to eat before we drink anything. When we arrive at Bailey’s, I’m blown away by the monstrosity she calls a house. It is more like a mansion. The gates open automatically as though we were expected at that moment. I let my eyes wander around the beautiful grounds as we drive up to the “house.” Bailey appears in the doorway and escorts us in.

  “Come on girls let me get you caught up. The rest of the gang is already here and lounging around the pool.”

  Before I can inquire about her meaning of getting caught up, she pulls out three shot glasses. She then pours tequila in the glasses and says we’re each going to make a toast and take a shot. A toast with tequila, hmm … I’ll play along.

  “Here is to friendship,” Bailey says.

  “To new beginnings,” Jordan adds.

  “To getting over assholes,” I offer. Bailey and Jordan both laugh.

  We drink three shots each before heading to the pool. Once we’re outside, I spot a sexy hunk with his back to me. His back muscles are so sculpted and delectable. Add that to his masculine broad shoulders and powerful calves, he is a picture of perfection before he even turns around. He is wearing a baseball cap and board shorts that hang dangerously low. Yum. It’s nice to see my hormones did not die with my relationship.

  “Ah, checking out my brother,” Bailey says, pulling me out of my reverie. “Grayson, come meet my new friend Siobhan.”

  Holy shit, I am assaulted by his gorgeousness. I allow my gaze to travel the length of him before coming to a halt on his face. Recognition in his eyes reflects back at me: Professor Michaels. He gives me a sexy smirk before uttering, “Hello. Nice to meet you Siobhan.”

  Is he fucking kidding me? That’s it? He is choosing to pretend he doesn’t know me; it cuts me to the core. Why the hell should I care? Okay, so it seems alcohol consumption allows the profanities to run more freely in my thoughts. Everything comes into focus after my perusal of the professor, and I now see a brunette has arrived and is hanging on his arm. Realization dawns on me. He is pretending for her.

  “Nice to meet you too,” I reply. “My friends call me Shiv.” I can pretend with the best of them.

  Bailey continues to introduce him to Jordan, but I can’t take my eyes off him. His abs and V-shaped groin are even sexier than I imagined. The front view is even more tantalizing than the back. A light dusting of hair trails south from his navel and disappears into his waistband.

  “Nice to meet you both. I’m Vanessa,” the brunette chimes in possessively.

  I take a minute to study her. I have to admit she’s gorgeous. She’s Jordan’s height, about five foot nine, but slightly curvier. Her white bikini showcases her great tan while her belly ring twinkles in the sunlight. I see her eyeing me as well, probably trying to decide if I am a threat. Yeah right!

  Bailey leads us away from them and introduces us to a couple of Grayson’s old college buddies—Matt and Chris. Both guys gaze over my body without shame before doing the same to Jordan.

  “You guys are such pigs,” Bailey grunts.

  “Just enjoying the beauty that has been bestowed upon us,” Matt speaks up.

  Matt is the taller of the two. He is about Grayson’s height so I am guessing he’s around six foot three. He is lean, definitely less muscle, but still sexy. Chris is shorter and stockier, but can hold his own in the looks department. Together they are a handsome duo.

  “Hmm, the charmer,” I reply before being pulled to meet the other two girls that are friends with Jordan and Bailey.

  Angie is the most exotic looking of all. Her caramel skin is smooth; her green eyes are catlike. She is about my height minus the curves and appears to be on the shy side. Meghan is outgoing, funny, and pretty in the girl-next-door sort of way—thank God. Being around all these gorgeous women will give me a complex. It is not that I think I am ugly, but I know I am not extraordinary. The breakup with Liam is not doing any favors for my self-esteem.

  “Ooh look. The guys have set up a volleyball net in the pool. Let’s play,” Angie squeals.

  I take another shot of tequila before agreeing. The alcohol has loosened my inhibitions immensely and I’m now pulling off my shorts and tank since I am the only one still covered up.

  That … and I would look like an idiot getting into the pool with my clothes still on over my swimsuit.

  “Damn baby,” I hear Matt say.

  I look his way only to find he’s not the only person staring. Grayson and Chris both have their eyes roaming over my curves, but it’s Grayson’s attention that’s surprising. Vanessa gives him a slap across the chest and he looks away. The moment passes and we pick teams for volleyball. Bailey, Jordan, Grayson, and myself are on a team while Matt, Chris, Angie, and Meghan team up. Vanessa has decided to sit out. No surprise there. I doubt she would want to risk breaking a nail.

  BOTH OF OUR teams have won one game each and this is the tiebreaker. Chris serves the ball and I’m so determined to return it, I back into Grayson hard enough to lose my balance. I blame it on the alcohol like the Jamie Foxx song. Before I can lose my footing, Grayson catches me. I feel his strong hands splay across my stomach brushing against the underside of my breasts. The heat from his torso is radiating onto my back. My butt is pressed firmly against his powerful legs as I melt into him. His hardness has stolen my breath. Bailey suddenly gives us a small cough and he realizes he has held on a second too long and lets me go.

  I look around for Vanessa, but she has disappeared into the house. I thought my moment with Grayson might have been the reason until I see her return from inside carrying a drink, unaffected. I continue the game in a haze, but we win. After the game, I head into the house for a cold glass of water and a moment to gather my composure. I’m at the refrigerator when two masculine hands appear on either side of my head, blocking me in.

  “What are you doing here?” Grayson asks.

  “I was invited by Bailey. I didn’t know she was your sister.”

  “Stepsister, hence the different last name,” he replies in way of explanation.

  “Why did you pretend not to know me?”

  “Because it’s a conflict of interest with you just being here. I am not supposed to interact socially with my students. Especially not half-naked students,” he deadpans.

  “Where is the rest of your swimsuit?”

  Feeling bold, courtesy of the alcohol, I reply “Do you like what you see?”

  “Baby, if I wasn’t here with someone else and you weren’t my student, I would show you just how much I like it, right here against this refrigerator,” he growls next to my ear. He is pressed against me and I can feel his erection against my stomach. Desire shoots through me and I lose myself momentarily as I allow my hands to caress his abs. He jerks away from me like I just burned him.

  “Don’t … ” he says. “We can’t.” With that he storms away.

  How embarrassing. I just tried to molest my professor who has a girlfriend. I need another shot. As if reading my thoughts, Matt appears at my side with shots in hand. I take one and shortly after, I know I’ve exceeded my limit. The music is thumping and the world is spinning so I lie down on the chaise lounge, attempting to get my bearings. Matt isn’t having it though and has pulled me up to dance with him. I’m holding on to him for dear life so I don’t face plant. Minutes into the song, I’m yanked away and Grayson is telling me that it’s time for me to leave. No one hears him say this, except Jordan, who’s at my side in seconds. She looks between the two of us and senses the tension.<
br />
  Shit. He is mad at me for my earlier indiscretion and now it looks like I have moved on to his friend. He offers to take me home, but Jordan says she’s ready to leave anyway. He’s about to tell me something else, but then Vanessa walks up.

  “You girls leaving already?” she coos.

  “Yes. We have family coming in early tomorrow, but it was nice meeting you,” Jordan replies. This lie rolls off her tongue with ease so I know she understands my urgency to get away. We say our goodbyes to everyone before heading to the car. Silence permeates the air on the ride home and I’m thankful for the reprieve.

  “What the hell? Why was Grayson so ready for you to leave?” Jordan asks once we are back at our condo.

  I let her in on the sequence of events, including telling her Grayson is the previously mentioned professor that everyone thinks is so hot. I’m embarrassed my drunken state caused me to act out of character. This is why I don’t drink.

  “Wow Shiv! I wish I could have seen you in action. You are usually so shy in social settings. Not to mention he’s also taken. I’m liking this inner vixen that comes out with alcohol. I should have gotten you drunk ages ago,” she jokes.

  “Whatever, you don’t have face him in class on Monday.”

  “Joking aside, I hope the inner vixen seeping out this afternoon wasn’t in response to what Liam said about you. You have nothing to prove.”

  Easy for her to say. It hurts to hear how unexciting your boyfriend thought you were. I don’t say this though because I don’t want to see the pity in her eyes. The tequila is doing a great job of numbing the pain. I don’t need her cooking up another intervention.

  “I know, but that isn’t what happened. Grayson just caught me off guard with all that masculinity and a body that screams sex. Without the alcohol on board I could have lusted after him in private,” I smile.

  Jordan agrees with my analysis of the situation. What was I thinking? Rejection twice in one week has to be some sort of record. First Liam and now the professor … ugh.