I Want to Hold Your Hand

by Marie Force

  He moved in closer to her, stepping between her legs to put his arms around her. “That’s not how I think of you at all, even though it’s definitely part of the overall picture. It’s not the focus though.”

  “What is the focus?” she asked, sounding a bit breathless.

  “So many things.” Pushing her hair back, he exposed the elegant length of her neck. He trailed kisses from her ear to her throat. “Your sweetness, your incredible kindness to everyone, the patient way you put up with your siblings even when they’re making you crazy.” As he spoke, he continued the gentle, sensual assault on her neck. “The love and care you’ve shown to Caleb’s family, the incredible way you’ve honored his memory, the amazing generosity you’ve shown to his friends by opening your home to us any time we get the urge to be together. And then there’s your artistic talents, your dazzling smile, your expressive eyes that never miss a thing—”

  “Nolan,” she said on a shudder.

  He wasn’t sure if it was the words, the kisses or the cold that was making her tremble. “I wasn’t finished.” Her unsteady laughter made him smile. “In fact, I was just getting started.” He drew back to look into her eyes. “The word widow is not the first thing I think of when you come to mind. It hasn’t been for a very long time.”

  With her hand curled around his nape, she drew him into a kiss that went from zero to holy shit in about three seconds. Her tongue curled around his as she tugged on his hair almost to the point of pain, but it was the best kind of pain.

  Nolan lost all track of time as he fell deeper into her and the sweet, sexy sounds she made as he kissed her. He gripped her hips and pulled her in closer to him, pressing against her in an increasingly urgent rhythm.

  And then he remembered where they were and that people they knew were inside the restaurant. Reluctantly, he drew back from her, gazing into eyes that had gone sleepy with desire. “How about we take this somewhere more comfortable and less public?”

  “Yes, please.”

  “You’re a sexy siren one minute and politely demure the next,” he said as he reached around her to fasten her seatbelt. “It’s quite a potent combination.”

  “I like to keep you guessing.”

  “That’s not all you’re doing to me.” He kissed her again, chastely this time, before closing her door and moving painfully around the truck. He was like a walking, talking hard-on these days, and the constant state of arousal was making him a bit edgy.

  As soon as he’d backed out of the lot, he reached for Hannah’s hand and held it all the way home.

  After a long period of silence, she said, “Nolan?”

  “Yeah?”

  Hesitantly, she said, “When we, you know, go to bed together . . . It can’t be at my house.”

  Nolan nearly swallowed his tongue at the casual way in which she said such life-changing words. “Okay.” She didn’t need to spell out the reasons why she didn’t want to make love to him for the first time in the home she’d shared with Caleb. But the fact that she was thinking about that and making plans for what seemed inevitable now did absolutely nothing to help the throbbing ache in his lap.

  “Was it okay to say that?” she asked in a small voice that tugged at his heart.

  He squeezed her hand. “I told you there’s nothing you could say to me that wouldn’t be okay. If something is on your mind, I want to know. No matter what it is. All right?”

  “Yes. Thank you.”

  “God, Hannah, don’t thank me. I should be thanking you. I feel like I’m dreaming or something because I get to be with you this way.”

  “You make me feel very special.”

  “You are very special.”

  They arrived at her house a short time later, and he went to help her out of the truck.

  He kept an arm around her on the way up the walk to her porch. She unlocked the front door and reached for his arm, pulling him inside with her.

  Nolan smiled at her obvious desire to spend more time with him and willingly followed her, shedding his coat as he went.

  “Would you mind lighting the fire?” she asked. “I’ll be right back.”

  “No problem.”

  He went into the sitting room as she went upstairs, piquing his curiosity about where she might be going and why. The firewood had already been laid in the hearth, so he struck a match and lit the kindling, blowing on the flame until it took. He was still kneeling in front of the fireplace when she rejoined him, wrapping her arms around him from behind.

  Her soft curves pressed against his back and the heat of the fire against his face made for a potent combination.

  He covered her hands with his, holding them flat against his chest where his heart beat fast and hard for her.

  She shifted slightly to the right and kissed the sensitive spot just below his ear.

  Nolan turned and drew her into his arms, looking down at her looking up at him as the fire crackled and sizzled. “I don’t know if it’s you or the fire, but I’m overheating. Can I take this sweater off?”

  Nodding, she reached for the hem and helped him to raise it over his chest.

  He pulled it from behind and tossed it aside.

  Hannah’s gaze skirted over his chest, taking a long perusing look that made him hard as stone.

  And then she touched him, and he wanted to beg for mercy.

  CHAPTER 16

  The wedding was amazing! We had it in the backyard at home on a perfect spring day. Gavin was Caleb’s best man, and Hunter, Will, Nolan and Turk were his groomsmen. I told him he couldn’t have ALL the Sultans or the wedding party would be bigger than the guest list. Since I refused to pick between Ella and Charley, Becky was my maid of honor, and my sisters and cousins were my bridesmaids. For as long as I live, I’ll never forget the day I married the love of my life.

  —From the diary of Hannah Abbott Guthrie, age twenty-two

  Hannah drank in her first look at Nolan’s bare chest, which was as finely built as it seemed through his clothes. He had muscles everywhere, and suddenly the view of the top half wasn’t enough. With her hands on his shoulders, she urged him to lie back on the rug in front of the hearth.

  “Hannah . . .” He sounded tense and almost hesitant.

  “Please? I want to look at you.”

  Blowing out a deep breath, he stretched out and watched her warily as she looked to her heart’s content at dark chest hair, well-defined muscles in his shoulders, chest and belly as well as the enticing V-cut over his hip bones that dropped off into his jeans.

  “Do you think less of me for wanting to kiss and lick those incredible abs?”

  His nervous laughter made her smile. “Um no, definitely not.” He combed his fingers through her hair. “Do anything you want, Hannah. I’m all yours.”

  She began with her hands flat against his pectorals, smoothing her palms over his chest and ribs to his belly, watching in stunned amazement as his erection lengthened under well-worn denim. She wanted to touch him there, too, but she didn’t dare. Not yet anyway.

  His heart beat hard under her hands as he watched her every move with sexy, half-closed eyes.

  Hannah bent over him and left a path of kisses along his collarbone before moving down to run her tongue over his nipple, which drew a sharp gasp from him as his hands fisted her hair. “Does it feel good or bad?”

  “Good,” he said through gritted teeth. “So damned good.”

  Pleased with his reaction, she did it again before moving to the other side. He sucked in a sharp breath, which created a gap in his jeans and exposed the crown of his penis. She couldn’t take her eyes off the sight of his straining, weeping cock, which got bigger before her eyes.

  “Hannah,” he groaned. “Touch me. Please touch me.”

  He didn’t have to ask her twice. She tugged on the button to his jeans and carefully and slowly unzipped him. When she hesitated, he took her hand and placed it over his erection, pressing down from above.

  “Yes,” he whispered ha
rshly as he moved his hand over hers, setting the pace and showing her what he liked. With his free hand, he brought her down to him, sucking her tongue into his mouth with a frenzied level of need he’d never shown her before.

  She loved it. She loved the way his hips rose and fell against her hand, the way his hand gripped the back of her head to keep her anchored to him. She loved the all-consuming way he seemed to want her.

  All at once, he slowed the pace of their hands over his cock. “Stop or I’m going to come.”

  She wanted nothing more than to give him some of the same pleasure he’d given her, so she brushed his hand aside, dipped her fingers under the waistband of his black boxer briefs and curled her hand around his thick erection.

  His groan of pleasure thrilled her and fired her own desire as she stroked him gently but rapidly.

  “Hannah . . . Oh God, Hannah . . .” He came hard, his eyes closed and his head thrown back in complete abandon.

  She loved seeing him like that and knowing she’d given him such exquisite pleasure.

  His breathing was harsh and uneven as he opened his eyes and met her gaze. “Wow.”

  Hannah smiled at him as she reached for a box of tissues on the coffee table and wiped his belly. When she was done, she tossed the tissues into the fire and curled up to him.

  His arms came around her, his hand slipping under the hem of her sweater to rest against her back.

  “I’m feeling kind of warm, too,” she said, hoping he’d get the hint that she wasn’t ready to call it a night just yet.

  “Are you?” He lifted her sweater from behind, and Hannah sat up a bit to help him raise it over her head, leaving her in only the barely-there bra she’d worn with him in mind.

  His hungry gaze traveled over her torso before focusing on the swell of her breasts above the bra. He shifted so she was lying on her back and he was hovering above her, looking down at her as if trying to decide where he wanted to touch her first.

  She helped him along by tugging him into another heated kiss.

  As his tongue rubbed against hers, his hand moved from her belly to the front clasp of the bra, which he released and pushed aside, baring her breasts and making her tremble with anticipation and desire.

  “Is this okay?” he asked as he cupped her right breast and ran his thumb over the nipple.

  “Yes,” she said, arching her back to get closer to him.

  “I want to feel your skin against mine,” he whispered, arranging her so she was on her side facing him, her breasts snug against his chest. “God, that’s amazing. You feel so good.” With his hand on her ass, he aligned their bodies and let her know he was already hard again.

  Hannah couldn’t get close enough to him. The friction of his chest hair against her tight nipples felt so incredible, but she wanted more. She needed relief from the torturous ache between her legs. And then he was kissing her neck and throat, making his way down her body as he eased her onto her back and kissed the upper part of her breasts.

  On his knees now, he cupped her breasts and bent his head to worship her breasts with his mouth, driving her slowly out of her mind even before he sucked her nipple into the heat of his mouth.

  She cried out from the sharp pleasure of his lips and tongue on her nipple while holding his head tight against her chest so he couldn’t get away. More, more, more . . . The drumbeat of desire beat loud in her chest and between her legs where the throb became ever more insistent.

  He switched to the other side, but pinched the first nipple between his fingers as he sucked on the other one. At that moment, she would’ve given him anything he asked of her, regardless of where they were or what had come before. She would’ve given anything to ease the ache.

  “Hannah,” he whispered as he kissed his way to her belly. “We have to stop or we won’t be able to.”

  The thought of stopping made her moan. “Not yet.”

  He rested his forehead on her belly and took a couple of deep breaths. Then he released the button on her jeans and unzipped her, tugging the jeans down over her hips. Waiting to see what he would do next, her thighs quivered and the throb intensified. His hand covered her sex over the silk panties that matched the bra. Lying before him all but naked, Hannah expected to feel self-conscious or shy, but the overwhelming desire left no room for any other emotion.

  He kept his hand still as he bent to lave at her nipple again, sucking harder this time as he let the heat of his hand permeate the thin scrap of fabric covering her.

  She grasped his hips, working her hands inside his jeans to push them down.

  Sliding his hand inside her panties, he worked one finger into her as he continued to punish her nipple with his lips and teeth.

  Hannah teetered on the verge of explosive release, which detonated the second he touched her throbbing clit. And then he was kissing her again, ravenously, deeply, as his fingers coaxed a series of trembling aftershocks from her heated core.

  “I want you,” she whispered. “I don’t want to wait.”

  “Hannah . . . You need to be sure.”

  “I am sure. We could go to your place . . .”

  He released a shaky breath as he came down on top of her, settling into the V of her legs with only two pairs of underwear between them and what Hannah wanted more than the next breath. “No, not there. Tomorrow night we’ll go somewhere for the weekend. Somewhere far away from here.”

  She ran her hands over his back. “People will talk if we run away together.”

  “They’re already talking.”

  “Don’t you have to work?” She knew the garage was open six days a week.

  “Yeah, but I haven’t taken a full weekend off in years. Skeeter will cover for me. I hope.”

  “Are we really going to do this?”

  He raised his head to meet her gaze. “That’s up to you. I’d wait forever if that’s what it took to make sure you’re comfortable and ready.”

  She smoothed the hair back from his face. “I’m as ready as I’m ever going to be, and as long as it’s you, I know I’ll be comfortable. Well, I’ll probably be pretty uncomfortable before I’m comfortable, but that’s kind of the idea, right?”

  Nolan laughed and shook his head. “You’re out to kill me, aren’t you?”

  “Most definitely not.”

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

  “You were teasing, and I knew it.”

  He kissed her again, softly and sweetly, his eyes locked on hers. “I should go before we forget all about our plans for tomorrow.”

  She put her arms and legs around him, anchoring him in place on top of her. “Don’t go yet.”

  • • •

  Nolan finally left at three, but not before they’d aroused each other to the point of climax once again. Left feeling needy and hungry for more, Hannah was awake for hours, overthinking everything, especially the decision they had made to go away for the weekend.

  She was ready. She’d meant it when she told him that, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t nervous, too. Sex was a big step in any relationship, but particularly so in the first significant relationship after losing a spouse. Even though she and Nolan had only been a couple for a short time, they’d been friends for most of their lives and the closeness they had shared over the years had created a deeper bond than she would’ve had with someone else so soon.

  Something Charley said kept running through her mind: Get the first time over with so you can stop obsessing about it. While she didn’t always agree with Charley’s approach to things, she couldn’t disagree with her logic in this case.

  Another thing nagged at her as she made her first cup of coffee in the morning, and that was Nolan’s outright dismissal of her suggestion that they go to his place. Why had he been so quick to say no to that? When she thought about it, she realized she’d never been to his home, even when they were kids. Their entire friendship had transpired between school, the garage, her parents’ home, the Guthries’ home and the ho
use she’d shared with Caleb.

  Because he didn’t talk about his family—ever—no one really knew much about him beyond the fact that he’d been raised by his grandfather, Nolan Roberts Sr., who’d owned the garage and passed it down to Nolan when he retired. Beyond that, Hannah knew nothing about where he’d come from or what had become of his parents. She wondered if he would maybe share that with her someday.

  She read some more of Caleb’s journals, taking the time to savor his words about the war and the men he served with. Then she spent the rest of the morning in her studio, working on some new designs and other busy work intended to keep her mind occupied. Luckily, the rest of the Abbotts must’ve been busy, too, because her usual stream of visitors didn’t materialize that day, which was just as well. She wasn’t in the mood for lighthearted sibling banter when she had a weekend away to plan for.

  With that in mind, she broke at lunch to take a hot bath and shave her legs and other critical areas. She washed and dried her hair and packed a bag for two nights away, tossing in a silk nightgown and robe Charley had given her for Christmas two years ago. Hannah had long ago gotten rid of the lingerie she’d owned when Caleb was alive as it was too painful to confront those memories every time she opened her dresser drawers.

  She’d also moved out of the master bedroom and into one of the smaller bedrooms that she had redecorated to match her own style rather than that of his late grandmother. Sleeping every night in the bed she’d shared with him was another thing that was too difficult after he was gone. It had quickly become clear to her that if she was going to keep the house they’d both loved, she had to make some changes to protect her sanity. Switching bedrooms had helped.

  With her bag packed, she sat on the bed and reached for the phone to call her mother. It wouldn’t occur to her to leave town for a couple of days and not tell her parents she was leaving. They worried enough about her without her giving them extra reason.

  “Hi, honey,” Molly said when she answered. “I was just thinking about you.”

  “What about me?”

  “Oh this and that. Wondering mostly how you’re doing without Homer.”