Let It Snow

by Kristie Leigh

  I still decided to run anyway, and thirty minutes later the heavy flurries started to fall. I quickly turned around and jogged back in the snow. Running toward the house, I saw Sullivan getting out of the fancy car that had been parked in the driveaway. I swiftly took a detour through the bushes, around the side of the yard, and back to the guest house. I couldn’t let him see me looking like this. I had snow all over me, my hair was wet from the storm, and I had mud stuck on my shoes and probably all down my back.

  I hoped to look halfway decent the next time he saw me. I stepped into the shower—after making sure there was a towel on the hook—and quickly cleaned up before drying off. I opened the door slowly and peeked outside, making sure the coast was clear.

  I let out a huge sigh of relief. “Thank God.” I stepped out into the hallway and stopped dead in my tracks when I heard the door behind me.

  “We really need to stop meeting like this.” Sullivan’s deep voice ran through me as he chuckled.

  I spun around, clutching my chest. “Where did you come from?” I stared at him, waiting for a response but also taking the opportunity to check him out.

  He still had the same face I recalled, but he was nothing like I remembered. He was definitely a lot more muscular now. Like, way more muscular. He was also clean-shaven and well dressed.

  A part of me was surprised to see him there, and another part of me just wanted to jump into his arms, wrap my legs around his waist, and kiss the ever-loving shit out of him.

  He seemed to shake himself out of it. “I didn’t mean to startle you.” He stretched out his hand to shake mine, but I didn’t reciprocate, instead I gripped my towel tighter.

  “Would you mind if I put on some clothes before we said hello?” As much as I fantasized about being naked with Sullivan, I felt like he was way overdressed.

  “Of course, yes. I’ll wait in the living room.” He smiled and looked me up and down before turning on his heel.

  As I closed my bedroom door behind me, I put my back against it and giggled to myself. I quickly got dressed and slipped back out.

  Sullivan was sitting on the edge of the sofa, his knee bouncing rapidly. I was about to speak, but he beat me to it.

  “Miss, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to catch you in your towel twice. I promise I don’t make a point of it.”

  I chuckled softly. I think that probably eased Sullivan’s mind since it was safe to assume that I didn’t think he wasn’t a pervert.

  He continued, “I asked my mother about you earlier. She said you’ve been looking after my grandma. I am so thankful that she has someone caring for her like this.” He reached his hand out. “My name is Sullivan. What’s yours?”

  There wasn’t a hint of humor in his tone. It was then that I realized that he was completely oblivious and hadn’t the slightest clue who I was. I decided to keep it professional; after all, it was like a dream come true, right? We wouldn’t have to talk about all those years when I’d had a crush on him. I’d dodged a bullet on that one.

  I stretched out my hand to shake his and introduced myself. “It’s very nice to meet you, Sullivan. My name is Melissa. I promise not to streak through the guest house anymore.

  His shoulders bounced as he chuckled. “Wow, beautiful, smart, and funny. I think we are going to be very good friends, Melissa.”

  SULLIVAN

  Sitting by the fireplace, I sipped my coffee, basking in the serene feeling that I’d taken on since coming home. I’d expected to feel trapped and want to catch the first flight out, but it had been the complete opposite. I hadn’t felt like this in so long, probably since before my dad passed, back when life was simple.

  I’d slept like a log last night, which I hadn’t done in years. There was just something about the room and the whole house that kept me at ease. My dreams were full of a blue-eyed beauty that seemed to be plaguing my thoughts.

  I glanced at the clock on the mantel. It was only seven. I could check my emails, but I had no desire, really no reason to. We were closed for the holidays, and it was going to stay that way.

  I heard whispers from the other room, so I went to see who was there. My heart skipped for a moment when I saw her. Melissa and I had already had two awkward encounters; I wasn’t ready to allow another one to happen. I straightened my spine immediately and took a deep breath before walking into the kitchen with all the composure I could muster. “Good evening, ladies.”

  Both Melissa and my mom looked up at me, but neither smiled. As I moved closer, Melissa’s eyes met mine, I grinned. She tried to reciprocate, but it was forced.

  “Melissa?” I turned. “Mom? Is everything okay?”

  A tear slipped down Melissa’s cheek. I stepped forward, every instinct I had told me to wrap her in my arms, but I knew that was inappropriate, seeing as how we’d just met. I looked toward my mother and back at Melissa. “What’s going on? Are you all right?”

  “I’m sorry, but I don’t think it is in my place to tell you. You should talk to your mother.” She squeezed my mother’s hand and took off out the back door without another word.

  I looked at my mother, who appeared defeated. “What’s going on?”

  “It’s Granny. She’s not doing well. Missy says she’s been in and out of consciousness for the last couple hours. We need to be with her, spend some time before bed. She will need rest but will also enjoy our company.”

  I nodded without moving. Memories of Granny and my childhood flooded my vision. We used to be so close, but even that hadn’t been enough reason for me to come home. The emotions rushing through me had me pulled in every direction. The ground seemed to move beneath my feet. I could feel sweat breaking out on my temples.

  My mom must’ve been able to tell I was having a hard time with the news. She interrupted my train of thought with the sound of her soothing voice. “Sullivan, you should go see her.” She rubbed my shoulder comforting me.

  I snapped out of it as I realized in that instant, I had a gift that some people never got. Although I was losing my grandmother, I was able to make amends with her and have a chance at goodbye.

  At that moment, there was nothing I wanted more than to see my grandmother. I looked up at my mother. “Yes, of course, let me get my shoes,” I blurted a little louder than I’d anticipated. I was suddenly anxious.

  Mother led the way into the guest house and to Granny’s room. I slowly walked into the room behind her, but she stopped just inside the door. There was a slight smell of medication that filled the air, but there was no mistaking the scent of my grandmother. I wasn’t sure how to control the onslaught of memories that continued to pummel me, and I was becoming overwhelmed. I stood over my grandmother as she lay there. I wanted to say something, but the words were stuck in my throat. I burst into tears at the realization that I was truly going to lose her.

  Although I’d already seen her, this felt different, more final. “Oh, God!” I whispered through the muffled sounds of my cries. “I should’ve been here. I didn’t know. I’m so sorry Granny.” I looked up at my mother with pleading eyes. “Are you sure there is nothing else doctors can do?” I asked in a distressed attempt to save my grandmother from the pain I imagined she was enduring. Maybe I also asked in a desperate shot to redeem myself from all the neglect I must have inflicted on her…on everyone else.

  She shook her head as tears fell. “I’m sorry.”

  A soft cough came from the pile of white bedsheets that surrounded my grandmother. She groaned in pain as she adjusted to lift her head and look at me.

  She reached up and pulled down her oxygen mask. “Is that Sully? Is that my boy?” she asked, as she tried hard to normalize her breathing without the assistance of the mask.”

  I came closer to her face and held her hand. “Yes, Granny. It’s me,” I said with tears in my eyes.

  “Oh, Sully, I’m dying, not stupid. It was a rhetorical question. Where have you been for so long?”

  I chuckled, leave it to Granny to always be a smart as
s, even on her death bed. The tears continued to roll down my face, although the sobs were now at bay. The emotions that welled in my throat struggled to become words. I took a deep breath and cleared my throat. “I don’t know why I ever thought I was no longer needed here. It didn’t feel like home to me anymore. I am so sorry, Granny. I’m here now. Tell me what you need, and I’ll get it for you.”

  My grandmother chuckled, but it quickly turned into a coughing fit. Melissa rushed into the room and to her side. She helped position her and went to step back when she had her comfortable, but Granny grabbed Melissa’s hand.

  “This is Melissa. She has been my angel all these years, and I don’t think I could ever be grateful enough to her.” She kissed her hand and lifted it toward my face. “The only thing I want to ask of both of you—” she trailed off, catching her breath.

  I looked up and locked eyes with Melissa.

  “—is that you should try to get a life before it’s too late.” She coughed again as she spoke, and I could hear how hard it was for her to breathe. “I don’t think there’s any feeling in this world that could replace falling in love with someone that makes you feel special every day.”

  Reluctantly, I looked away from Melissa, and I tried to feign a smile for my grandmother, but I was no good at it.

  “But what’s the point if you are not there to see it, Granny?” I protested.

  “Who said I wouldn’t be there. No matter what you do, son, I will be there watching. I love you, Sully, and I would never leave you.”

  Another sob broke free at her words, and I dropped my head to our clasped hands. My heart broke, knowing that she did love me enough to never leave me, but I’d left her and my mother—that wracked me with guilt. I wasn’t sure there was much to say, so I said the only thing I could. “I love you, too, Granny, and I promise to try to experience that kind of love.”

  I looked back at my grandmother, who was now fast asleep. I glanced up to see Melissa, who, for a second, I’d forgotten was in the room. I could tell she was hurting too as she wiped the tears from her eyes.

  “Come on, we should let her rest.” My mom held her hand out for me to take.

  I hesitated as I looked at my grandmother. She looked so peaceful. I leaned over and kissed her forehead and whispered, “I love you.” If I had a choice, I would’ve preferred to stay with her until the end, but my mom was right; she needed to rest.

  Melissa left the room first and walked down the hall. We caught up to her in the living room.

  “Would either of you like a coffee or tea?” She asked as she started the kettle.

  “I would love either. Thank you.” I really wanted to chat with her, seeing as she was the one who’d spent the most time with her lately.

  “I’ll take a raincheck. I’m beat.” My mom kissed my cheek and said goodnight to Melissa before she left.

  I sat down on a stool at the island and sighed. “I hope she knows I love her.”

  “She knows, Sullivan. Trust me, she knows.” Her smile was sad, but those few words lifted a weight, knowing that Granny must have spoken to Melissa about me.

  The room fell silent as Melissa worked around the kitchen to make us tea. I was in deep thought about how much of my grandmother’s life I’d missed just because I didn’t feel like coming home.

  Melissa readied a tray, took it over, and then set it on the coffee table. I followed and took a seat beside her. As I sipped my tea, I wasn’t sure what to say. I tried to stop the tears, but a few slipped out.

  “It’s all right to cry, but know she’s not leaving this earth with any regrets. She’s lived an amazing life, and she’s loved every minute of it. Having you here was the icing on the cake. I feel like she’s been waiting for you, and now she can let go peacefully.”

  Her words soothed my soul. “Thank you. I needed to hear that.”

  The entire house was silent as I stood in the living room, looking out the window across to the guest house where my grandmother was resting. I should be resting, too, but I couldn’t. I spotted the bottle of whiskey out of the corner of my eye. I poured myself a glass before taking a sip; the warm liquid heated me as it ran down my throat.

  I sat on the sofa and rested my elbows on my knees. A strange feeling washed over me. I wasn’t sure why, but I got the sense that I would never talk to Granny again. I dropped my head, and I started to cry once more. It was slow, silent sobs this time. But someone must’ve heard me as I felt a warm hand on my shoulder, and I looked up to see mom crying, too.

  “I’m sorry, Sullivan. I know how hard this must be for you,” she said as she sat down close to me on the couch.

  I immediately pulled her in for a hug and rested my head on her shoulder. I felt like a little boy again, back when my mom could make anything better. I felt so weak. I was a grown man. I should be consoling my mother, but I needed her. Her shushing and back rubs were soothing.

  I was finally able to regain my composure after a few minutes and pulled back to take another sip of whiskey.

  “How was your time with Missy? Were you able to talk about Granny at all?” She smiled; I could tell she thought of her fondly.

  “Oh yeah, she told me… Wait. What did you just call her?” I thought her name was Melissa.

  “Missy? The girl who has been nursing your grandmother.”

  My brows furrowed, and then it dawned on me. “Wow! I had no idea. No wonder it felt like she knew me better than I knew her. Why didn’t she say something? She even called herself Melissa when I introduced myself.”

  My mom looked at me incredulously and then shrugged. “That’s what happens when you let a lot of time pass without seeing people. You do remember her, right? She used to come here all the time, and you babysat her.”

  “I know, Mom. But that was a long time ago. The last time I saw her, she was what…twelve years old? I was eighteen. Now that I think about it, that was eight years ago, so, she’s what now? Twenty?”

  My mom nodded as she took a sip of water. “I’m sure you noticed that she’s not that twelve-year-old girl anymore, who you used to call annoying because she followed you around all the time. She’s grown into a beautiful and intelligent young woman. She is also kind and caring. The kind of woman a man like you would be lucky to have by his side.” She raised her eyebrows as she took another drink with a smirk.

  I knew where this conversation was going, but I definitely wasn’t in the right frame of mind for a discussion like that. “Mom! Please don’t start. I don’t see her that way. She’s much younger than I am, and quite honestly, she’s probably much too nice a person for me.”

  My mom rolled her eyes in response. So mature.

  “Okay, okay. Maybe I have noticed how beautiful and kind she is, but I have seriously not thought anything of it. Plus, I think it would be weird to date someone I used to babysit. Don’t you agree?” I was lying; of course, I’d thought of her that way.

  My mom chuckled and patted my knee. “You want my opinion? Well, I think the fact that you’re asking me that question means that you have considered it, and you’re still considering it. My answer is, do as you wish as long as Missy doesn’t get hurt. I don’t think you have ever done something you didn’t want to do. So why start now?”

  I smiled at her; she was right. I would be blind not to have noticed how astonishingly gorgeous she was—with her dark-blond hair and deep-ocean-blue eyes. Then, there were the dimples that came out anytime she smiled or laughed.

  But I’d die before I admitted to my mother’s face that she was right, especially about a woman.

  “Why is she living with you? Aren’t her parents wealthy? Why would their daughter be living in our guesthouse when I’m sure they have a house even larger than this one?” There was a hint of curiosity in my tone, but then concern washed over me at the thought that I might not want to hear the answer once I saw my mother’s face.

  My mom sighed before speaking. “We took her in two years ago. Her parents died in a tragic accident. She
was just eighteen at the time, and she could have chosen to live anywhere she wanted. She certainly had the money to do so, but it was almost like she was staying with us even before her parents’ passing. She had been taking care of grandma for about two years before the accident while she’d finished her nursing degree. So, she had begun to spend more time here until she became a permanent house guest, and we love having her around. I offered her a room in the main house, but she insisted on a room in the guest house instead so that she could be closer to Granny.”

  She took the last sip from her glass and then looked at mine. “You do know it won’t solve a thing, right?” She nodded at my glass. “I know from experience.”

  I shrugged as I looked down at the amber liquid I hadn’t touched since the first sip. “I know. I don’t drink, but I couldn’t sleep; thought it might help.”

  She stood and kissed me on the forehead before she walked away.

  “I love you, Mom!” I shouted as she walked down the hallway to the kitchen.

  “I love you, too. By the way, you’re helping with the Christmas decorations,” she yelled back.

  I chuckled, not the least bit put out by the thought of decorating. I’d gladly do anything my mom asked me right now. Sinking back onto the sofa, I realized that although I might have had my last moments with my grandmother, I still had my mother, the house I grew up in, and all of my fond memories of Granny. I may be sad at the loss of one family member, but I could appreciate that there was still more to look forward to. As Granny had rightly said, life was short, and I was not going to let any more opportunities go to waste.

  MELISSA