Tell Me Now

by S. Moose

  I’m holding back my annoyance and anger. There are several words I can spew at her, but if I do, they won’t affect her. She’s toxic. Pure poison and full of jealousy and insecurity. It’d be easy to get up and slap her across the face. I’d have instant satisfaction. It also won’t stop her, though. “Tiffany, I know about Bryce’s past. He’s not that man anymore. He was who he was before, and now, I have the changed man. Honestly, it’s none of your business what we do.” My irritation rises. “Why do you care? Since the day we met, you’ve been a bitch to me, and I haven’t done anything wrong.”

  “Women like you are after one thing – money. He’s a very wealthy man.”

  “Again, not that it’s any of your business, but I get an inheritance when I turn twenty-five. Also, I’ve made several smart investments. As far as money goes, I’m good and can take care of myself.”

  She scoffs mildly and crosses her arms over her chest. Her defensive stance isn’t needed. Not wanting her to talk down to me—literally—I get up from where I was sitting and hold my ground. We’re at eye level, and the words I want to say explode from my lips. “Tiffany, I’m going to be real with you. I’m in love with Bryce. He makes me happy, and I make him happy. We’re building a life together. A life of happiness and love. So much love. I love him for who he is, not because of his worth or his business. I’m in love with his heart. His soul. All of him. Nothing you or anyone else can do will make me feel otherwise. I don’t know what I’ve done to you, but this accusation and treating me poorly needs to stop.”

  Her eyes bulge as she uncrosses her arms. “You'll never make him happy.”

  And then it hits me. “Are you in love with Bryce?”

  She remains stoic. The air between us becomes hostile. The question’s out there, and the ball’s in her court. I don’t know how I’ll handle it if the word yes slips from her Botox-injected lips. It makes sense. Her hostility and hate toward me.

  “Once upon a time I was,” she begins as I watch her hand play with a silver locket around her neck. “He was my world, but life isn’t fair. My love for Bryce now is strictly friendship.”

  My annoyance falters. I know where she’s coming from. As much as I despise Kent, I don’t want anything to happen to him. There’s no love felt toward Kent or even hate. What happened is done, and nothing can change it. The choices Kent made are his alone, and I can’t hold a grudge against him forever. The longer I hold the hate and anger, the more it’ll filter into my life and my relationship, and I can’t have that happen. I won’t do what Tiffany’s doing and become friends with Kent. I don’t ever need to think about him again, and I’ll ignore him if he sees me or tries to contact me. Nothing good can come from seeing or talking to him again.

  My tone and stance turn softer. “Please, don’t worry. I won’t hurt him.”

  She winces. “And what if he hurts you? Will you be able to handle it?”

  I’m about to respond when Bryce walks in and looks at us before turning to Tiffany. I hope he doesn’t yell at her or make her feel bad.

  “Is everything okay?”

  Wait. What?

  He knows I’m standing here. Right in his office. Why isn’t he acknowledging me and my feelings?

  “No worries. We’re okay. I’ll see you at two for the meeting with Antonio.”

  Bryce nods and watches Tiffany leave. The way he’s staring at her smothers me with fierce jealousy and confusion. Now I know for sure they had a past … a connection. The realization constricts my air, squeezing tightly and refusing to ease the rigidity of the hold. The sheer pain leaves me nearly breathless and about to fall to the floor. I never want to be second in a relationship again. Everything I’ve done to lift myself to this position is slowly crumbling.

  Why am I allowing this to happen?

  Does Bryce love her?

  Am I his rebound?

  Picking up my things, I touch his forearm and see the smile on his face. The same smile that brings me to my knees. “I’m going to head out. I have a meeting with a client.”

  “Excuse me? I’m the only client.”

  I shake my head. “No. You’re not. I’ll, um, see you later.”

  I’m moving faster than I have in a while, and it’s challenging with my stilettos and dress, but I need to get out of here. I know he won’t call out to me and follow. There are too many people in the office and several meetings going on with important clients. As soon as the elevator doors close and I’m out of sight, I release a weighty breath and let the tears fall without a care.

  Chapter 34

  Madison

  The Navy Pier is beautiful during the summer season. The waters calm me and help me think. I take this time to reflect on the choices I’ve made and whether I’m truly happy. Although, how does one measure their degree of happiness? Bryce makes me happy. He makes my life complete. This one incident shouldn’t define our relationship. As much as I’m telling myself that, I can’t bring myself to go back to his office or the penthouse. The more I think about him and Tiffany, the more I wonder about them. Were they more than boyfriend and girlfriend? Why did they break up? Why are they still partners in his business? These questions swirl in my head, and I won’t find an answer.

  Unless I ask Bryce.

  “Madison?” I turn to look at my left and see Nicholas walking toward me. “You’re here alone?”

  “Hi, Nicholas. I am. Just taking some time to myself.”

  He turns to face the water and crosses his arms over his broad chest. “You know, I come here a lot too. After my divorce, things became dark for me,” he says while watching the water. “Are you okay?”

  The need to walk away heightens. This man’s my client. We’re not friends or acquaintances. I can’t open up to him. It’ll be too weird.

  Only I do.

  “Relationship issues,” I state and continue to look out at nothing. “I’m not very good with communication. I hold back and bottle my feelings. I’m afraid to ask and find out the truth.”

  “I see. From my experience, I will say communication is the number one principle to have in a relationship. Next to trust, if those foundations aren’t strong enough, then the relationship won’t withstand the problems and obstacles.”

  I hear what he’s saying and wonder if being with Bryce is a mistake. The skeletons he hides are slowly appearing, and they all center on Tiffany. There’s more to their story. On top of that, she was with him in California when he made it sound like he was alone. Although she said she was there to work, they had to attend meetings together. My mind’s playing tricks, and I have to be strong enough not to listen to my insecurities.

  “Why don’t we get lunch?” Nicholas suggests. “As friends.”

  If I go with Nicholas, I’m crossing a line. A boundary. It’s a simple lunch, so it’ll be friendly. I can even bring up work, turning it into a work lunch meeting.

  “Okay.”

  Being here with Nicholas is nice and stress free. He asks me to put together an outfit for him for an upcoming charity gala. My mind goes to Bryce, and I wonder if an invitation was extended to him.

  Bryce.

  “Madison?”

  “Yes?”

  “You can talk to me. I’m a great listener.”

  “I’m sure you are. If I can be honest.”

  “Of course. Please do.”

  “I’m happy you invited me to lunch, but I think we need to keep this professional. I work for you for now. I'll be putting in my notice and Kaylee's going to take over.” My eyes zone in on his hand resting on mine. Slowly, I pull away, then see the slight hurt on his face. “I don’t mind meeting you for lunch, Nicholas, so please don’t take this the wrong way.”

  Nicholas leans in, resting his arms on the table. “I sympathize. Please don’t think more into this. It’s a friend reaching out to another. I'm sad to be losing you. Wherever you go, I hope you 're happy.”

  “I know and I'm sure I will be.” A sudden feeling of being watched sends shivers down my sp
ine. Discreetly, I look around but don’t find anything suspicious from what I can see. Nicholas’s soft and warm hand rests on mine again.

  “Only a friend. That’s all.” He pats my hand, then places it back on the table. “As a friend, the best thing I can tell you is to talk to him. If you can’t talk to him about how you’re feeling, how do you expect to move forward?”

  I nod. “You’re right.”

  “Okay.”

  After Nicholas pays, much to my protest, his driver takes me home. The ride’s quiet. I’m focused on nothing, while holding my cell phone and hoping Bryce will call or text me. This silence after walking out is maddening. Part of me wants him to chase me. To force me to talk. It’s immature and needy, and I don’t want that to happen. But then again, I do. I make a list in my head about things we need to discuss.

  Tiffany and California.

  Will he calm his ass down with his temper?

  What’s his issue with Nicholas?

  I look over at Nicholas and notice he’s reading from a folder, and there are several next to him.

  “What is it you do, Nicholas?”

  “My consulting business focuses on IT and computer software. Advancing into new ways of working efficiently. I started my company seven years ago.”

  “That’s fascinating. I went to school for business. I love all aspects of marketing.”

  He hands me a folder. “What do you think?” He points down at the folder.

  I open it and look at the different designs for an advertisement he’s preparing. “The colors don’t flow with this ad. The font is hard to read in this one.” I continue giving him my thoughts. It feels good to talk business.

  “You have an eye for it, that’s for sure, Madison.” He reaches into his suit jacket and pulls out a card. “Give my office a call. I’d love to have you on my team.”

  I take it even though I’ll be starting a job at Henry’s company. “Thank you. I’ll look into this.”

  The car stops, and his driver opens my door. I step out with his help, and Nicholas follows.

  “Thank you for a lovely afternoon, Madison. I’ll speak to you soon.”

  I smile. “Okay. Have a great day.”

  When I’m inside my apartment, I place my purse on the counter and walk to the fridge to find something to drink. I’m aimlessly looking for anything to keep me busy, so I don’t think about Bryce. It’s been four hours since I left, and he hasn’t sent a single call or text. I’m only fooling myself with this relationship.

  Stripping out of my clothes in my bedroom, I climb under the covers and will myself to sleep. My things are at Bryce’s, but there was no reason to keep my bed, so I’m leaving it here.

  It’s been a long few weeks so time to myself is just what I need.

  Chapter 35

  Bryce

  The next few days are painfully difficult. I know Madison’s wondering why I haven’t reached out to her, but between my company and the long hours, I haven’t had a chance. We’re ready to sign a three-billion-dollar deal, and I need to remain focused. This deal will put my company at the top where it belongs. I’m throwing all my energy into work, sleeping at the office, and barely doing much of anything. The nights are long without Madison. Without the woman I love.

  The day ends with dinner with a few clients. After saying our goodbyes, I have Peter take Tiffany and me back to the office.

  “I think this is going well. You’re back on your game, and nothing’s clouding your vision.”

  I know where she’s going with this. “If you’re wondering, Madison and I are still together.”

  “Is that so?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then why was she with Nicholas Reimer? Actually, from what I’m hearing through the grapevine, she’s going to be working for Henry and goes on lunches with Nicholas. They’re together this evening, in case you’re wondering.”

  The grip on my cell phone tightens. I don’t respond to what she’s saying and remain quiet. A few days of silence and I’m finding out news that’s going to send me over the edge.

  Once we’re back in my office, I give Tiffany the files I need reviewed and tell her to work on it. I’m alone for once today, standing in front of my glass window, staring out into the Chicago night. My mind is wandering, wondering where Madison is, and if she’s thinking of me. The love I have for her is strong, overpowering, but I need to keep a balance between her and my business. I’ve worked too hard to lose any clients or deals. She must understand.

  The door to my office opens. “Tiffany. Not tonight.”

  “It’s me.”

  Quickly, I turn around and notice Madison’s wearing a long black dress with a shawl over her shoulders. Her hair is straight and long, just the way I like. “Why are you dressed up?”

  “I had dinner tonight with Henry and Kaylee. It was a fancy restaurant, and I wanted to look nice.”

  I stare at her, captivating by her intoxicating eyes. “What’s going on?” I need to hear everything from her lips.

  “Next week, I’m starting my new job at Henry’s company in the marketing department, leading a few projects he’s assigned to me. I’ve been seeing Nicholas for lunch because of work, and today, I saw him to let him know I’m transferring my clients to Kaylee. You abandoned me, Bryce. If you’re thinking I did something wrong, then you’re mistaken.”

  I pinch the bridge of my nose and lift my eyes back to her. “I apologize. This deal I’m working on is seven months in the making. I’m this close to securing a multibillion-dollar deal.”

  “And I’m so happy for you. These past few days, I don’t know …”

  “Don’t.” I rush to her, putting my hands on her hips and placing my forehead on hers. “Don’t leave me. I know you deserve a better man. Someone who’ll pay attention and cherish you. I’m sorry. I haven’t been a good boyfriend, and I should let you go, but during times like this, I can’t promise you my time.”

  She whispers, “I know.”

  Our eyes remain locked, and I find myself drowning in her eyes. She has a vulnerability to her from the way frailty of her tone to the way she’s standing. I can feel her pulling away, and all I want to do is pull her my way.

  “Tell me now what’s in your heart.”

  “You.”

  “Then why do I feel you slipping away?”

  Her tears fall, and she shuts her eyes, not allowing me to see all of her. This wall she is putting up between us is ripping me apart. All I want to do is make things right. To console her and be by her side all night.

  “You have no idea what caused me to run out of your office or why I didn’t come back to you. These skeletons in your closet are slowly coming out, and they all revolve around Tiffany.” I don’t say anything. There’s nothing to say at this point, so I let her continue. “You have a past with her. She loved you once upon a time, and you never elaborated that part of your life to me. I know your past is yours alone, and I get that. I want you to let me in, Bryce.”

  “I have been letting you in. This isn’t easy for me. I don’t do the girlfriend thing or have someone I have to fight for.” I place my hand on her shoulder and take the other to lift her face up, so she can see me. “But I want it with you. Only you.”

  She pulls back, her face wrinkling in confusion. “You say these things, and I know you mean them, but Bryce, there’s more to you. These layers, I mean, I’m supposed to be moving in with you …”

  “And you still are.”

  “Am I? How can this work if you can’t tell me more about who you are?”

  I’m as confused and torn as she is, and I’m not sure how to go about fixing what’s been done. If I let her all the way in, she’ll leave me and never look back. I can’t risk losing her. I’ve worked too hard to bring her to a place of loving me. All of me.

  “I want you to listen and listen very carefully, Madison.”

  “Okay,” she responds, her voice trembling, but I know she’s trying to stay strong.

 
; “I’ve buried my past. I’m going to try to open up and let you in so you can see me.” The idea of telling her this part of me is breaking me. I haven’t spoken about her in years. My heart slowly starts to break. The pain in my chest grows. If I want to keep Madison in my life, then this is what I have to do. “Tiffany and I broke up because we lost our daughter. She was only three months old. Sudden infant death syndrome. It killed us. My little girl’s in heaven, and I can’t hold on to the pain. I pushed it away.” I push the tears back. “That’s why I’m not capable of feeling like a normal person. Tiffany carries the burden of Blaire’s death while I can’t think about her. I pushed Blaire out of my mind. The day she died, I died with her. Tiffany needed me, and I pushed her away. She wasn’t my wife, but we had talked about marriage. Afterward, I left her, and she took a leave of absence from the company. She only just came back to work a year ago. Blaire would’ve been six years old this year.”

  The tears stream down her face. I walk to my desk and pull out a drawer I haven’t opened in years. Holding the picture frame in my hands brings me back to that day.

  “Daddy loves his princess.” She stares at me, making bubbly sounds. I can’t put her down. “Daddy’s never going to stop loving you. You’re the light in my life. Blaire Elizabeth Hunter. My sweet girl.” This moment will forever hold my heart. It’s days like these I feel alive and free. “All because of you.”

  “Bryce?

  I lift my head and give her the picture frame. The office remains silent. My heart thumps in my chest, and for the first time since losing Blaire, I cry. My little girl is no long here with me. Madison will never get to meet my perfect daughter. Tiffany will never be okay. We'll mourn the loss of Blaire for the rest of our lives. Everything is my fault. Blaire's dead because of me.

  I cry for my princess.

  I cry, knowing we’ll be apart until the day I die.

  I cry because the truth is there and I can't admit it.