Mikhal looked at his wife, still in demon form, and had to dig deep within himself to find the strength to still the beast that wished to force its wishes upon its mate. He drew in a breath and did his best to block out the cries of his son, and went to the bed, determined to turn the situation that had become a tragedy around.
He sat and moved a hand to baby Mikhalen’s belly, jiggling the boy gently, trying to get him to stop screaming, or at least revert to his human form so Alliana could see him as a little boy once more, even as he reached for her and began to stroke her hair.
Alliana jerked back, expecting a blow, expecting some form of reprisal for her refusal to feed the babe, but instead felt only gentleness. She looked up at Mikhal, meeting his eyes, and saw the pain she felt in her own heart mirrored there, then looked back at little Mikhalen. The boy’s hellish sounds had diminished a bit, but he still held on to his vampire facade. Alliana bit her lower lip and shook her head sadly, looking back at Mikhal as tears coursed down her cheeks.
“I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry but I can’t. Maybe in time, maybe when he... if he looks like my sweet babe again, but I can’t. I’m frightened. It’s not that I don’t love him, I do, he is mine, but... I’m afraid of him as well. Please understand”
The man in him did. The part of him that understood and remembered what her pain had felt like when he had abused her and terrorized her, but the demon didn’t. The demon saw his son, hungry and rejected, lying upon the bed in need of his mother, but thankfully, the man won out though his heart broke.
“Very well, Alliana. I imagine the servants and the wet nurse are outside, having thought it best not to enter upon hearing your screams. I shall take him to her then and allow her to nurse him. Perhaps later you will be able to care for him. I...” The next words were hard for him because he didn’t feel her pain any longer, the empathy spell was gone but his own heart felt pain that had to be akin to hers.
“I understand why you are so frightened. It is my hope that you will be able to come to accept your son as you have accepted me. He is but a babe and will not be able to control his impulses as I do, Alliana, but that is not his fault. He came from my loins, and to expect him to be pure human is a fool’s dream. Katia on the other hand, well she will be your sweet cherub who is more like you, but Mikhalen, he carries traces of me, as it should be. Still, he is your son as well and he needs you.”
Alliana didn’t respond. She looked at her crying son, heart breaking for she truly wished she could take him to her breast and nurture him, but she couldn’t. Part of her, the part that had suffered so, simply couldn’t. He looked too terrifying and his fury seemed so utterly fueled by the evil being inside him. To see him like this shone a glaring light on the harsh reality that she had given birth to a child that was part beast.
True she had come to accept her husband, but he had learned to control his demon, her babe was a different story, and he would take some getting used to. It wasn’t that there was no love in her heart for little Mikhalen; she simply couldn’t hold him right now. The panic still raced in her breast and her heart turned cold at the thought. Perhaps soon, perhaps when he was fed and... normal again, but not now.
Mikhal rose and picked up his son, cradling the boy gently. He waited a moment for Alliana to speak, to say anything to give him hope that she would truly love their son, but no words issued forth, so he finally turned and made his way out of the room, leaving a silent, broken hearted Alliana, and his tiny daughter Katia, though it broke his heart to do so.
Once in the hall he met the wet nurse just as he suspected he would, and they preceded to his chambers in silence, the nurse doing her best to hide her fear. A cradle had been placed there as well, in the event that Alliana would be moved to her rightful place in his bed, along with little Mikhalen in the future.
Neither the wet nurse nor Mikhal noticed the small boy crouched low in the shadows of an alcove near Lady Arcos’ door as they passed. Mikhal was too focused on his son and what had just transpired, and the wet nurse was busy looking at the child and fighting back her own terror.
As their footsteps faded the child smiled evilly in the dim light. He’d heard everything of course, his vampire ears picking up each word. From the sound of it the Master wouldn’t be back for some time, and he planned to put that time to good use. He would give the Gypsy bitch time to doze off, and then he would make his move.
After she did, he would sneak in and steal the infant girl to take to Marishka; the girl babe wasn’t as good as the son of Lord Arcos, but she would make the Gypsy come running just the same. He would grab the child, wake the woman, and run like the wind, warning her that if she made a sound he would gleefully tear the babe’s throat out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alliana sat hunched over in the massive bed that now felt so empty, clinging to her infant daughter, her human daughter, as her heartbroken husband took her other child away. Her tears baptized the babe’s downy head as she sobbed out her anguish. Part of her longed to take her boy into her arms and comfort him. Wanted to give him the love he needed and deserved, but then the image of him in his demon form, screaming in rage rose up in her mind once more.
She saw him for what he really was, and the image terrified her. His thick black locks that were so like Marishka’s. His eyes blazing with fury, his tiny face transformed to that of a beast. The talons that turned his perfect little hands into things of horror, and the snarls and hisses that had issued forth from her once angelic babe made her heartsick. And those teeth, those tiny teeth that would draw blood from her breast filled her with icy terror. Yes, his temperament and looks certainly made her have visions of her husband’s demented sister, and the thought sent chills down her spine.
Marishka was related to her infant son, and like it or not, he could hold some of her inside of him, her blood, her ruthless evil, her insanity. What if her daughter had taken all that was good and pure and human, and her son only the qualities of the evil creatures of the night. While it was true that her husband had transformed, had seemingly found a balance between man and beast and brought forth the goodness in his heart, what was to say that her son would do the same? What if he couldn’t or didn’t wish to?
Could she love him then? Would the caring and love of his family, the guiding hand of his father be enough to steer him down the path of goodness and away from the evil that tainted him inside and drove him to instinctively crave blood and pain? Would they be able to teach him to be gentle and kind instead of bloodthirsty and wicked like Marishka? He had been so very enraged and had no way of containing himself. How would she handle such a child as he grew? Could love truly blossom in his heart the way it had in her husband?
So many questions and no answers, just a hollow place in her heart and a feeling of emptiness in her arms for the child she had shunned. Alliana sat straighter and gazed down at Katia, her perfect little babe, her darling who seemed to hold no traces of evil. She was warm, soft, sweet, human child. What would she be like as she grew?
Sighing, Alliana pulled her daughter even closer and nuzzled her downy head, breathing deeply, kissing the tiny babe who had finished her meal. She rocked her gently and sang a soft lullaby blocking out the images of the tiny boy who also needed his mother, as her eyes grew heavy. Then, knowing she was on the verge of sleep, Alliana settled Katia beside her, and lay down, pulling the furs around them both, hoping for sweet dreams, but knowing none would come. After a while, despite her broken heart, her eyes became heavy and she finally found the refuge that sleep could provide.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As his wife slept the sleep of pure exhaustion, Mikhal was sitting in a chair protectively watching as his son nursed from the breast of the wet nurse. The woman had balked at first. She’d been unable to help herself, cringing in terror when she had seen the tiny, razor sharp fangs that protruded from the babe's mouth, but one look at the Master of the castle had convinced her that she had better do as she was told. The babe was fearsome,
but his father was far worse.
She'd opened her gown and then raised tiny Mikhalen's head upward, tears coursing down her cheeks, a cry of pain escaping her lips as the child had latched onto the nipple at the same time sinking his tiny fangs into the tender skin that surrounded it, then, quite contentedly, Mikhal had begun to enjoy his meal of mother's milk and blood, waving his tiny fists in the air as he suckled.
It hadn't taken long for him to return to his human form once his belly began to fill, but even then, he opened his mouth wider so he could have a few drops of the precious human blood mixed into his supper.
After a while, baby Mikhalen had drifted off to sleep; his tiny mouth opening, unlatching from the wet nurse's breast, his hands falling to his sides, his body becoming relaxed, drawing shallow irregular breaths.
Mikhal watched the scene in fascination, a sense of pride and extreme love filling him even as his heart still broke over Alliana's rejection of the boy. It was clear that little Mikhalen was much like him with his fiery temperament and demon demeanor. His features resembled his Aunt Marishka's, and Mikhal had a fleeting worry that the child would have trouble accepting the new morals his father had acquired.
What if the babe were like Marishka? What if he held much vampire inside that he was unable to find his human heart? The notion truly gave Mikhal pause, but then he dismissed it. With he and Alliana as parents, guiding him, showing him how to be caring, their son would not stray. That was if his mother would accept him. If Alliana didn't, there was no telling what resentment would fester in the boy.
Determined not to allow that to happen, Mikhal went forth and took his son from the wet nurse's arms, telling her that she would be set up in a chamber near his wife's. It was his plan to have Mikhalen whisked away to be fed whenever he became fussy, so Alliana would not have to be confronted with the reality that her tiny babe harbored a monster inside just like his father. Perhaps in time, as the boy grew and learned to control his beast, the two would reach an understanding, but for now, Alliana and young Mikhalen would only share happy times together to help foster the mother and child connection that would be so vital in instilling compassion in a half vampire child.
He cradled the babe close to his un-beating heart as he strode down the corridor, talking to the boy, planting kisses on his crown of downy black hair, whispering promises of love. When he arrived back at Alliana's rooms, Mikhal crept in quietly, thinking she might be asleep, and found somewhat to his relief that she was. He gave Mikhalen yet another kiss, then laid him in his cradle, and went to the bed.
Both of his girls were sleeping peacefully, Katia tucked into the crook of one of Alliana's arms. Mikhal marveled at how much alike the two were, golden hair, pink satiny skin, soft, warm, beautiful. He bent down and kissed Katia, then moved to Alliana, brushing an errant lock of hair from her forehead, letting his fingers trail across her sweet warm brow.
Her eyes fluttered open and she smiled warmly, then her gaze clouded with worry as she remembered what had occurred before she’d fallen asleep. She began to struggle into a sitting position, wincing as she did so, but Mikhal quickly put a restraining hand on her shoulder.
"Tis fine. You rest."
"Little Mikhalen? Is he all right? I'm... I'm so sorry, husband. I simply could not feed him." Alliana's eyes filled with tears at the memory of her little boy turning into a beast, and how her heart had shattered. It now felt like a cold lump in her chest and her throat felt too tight to take a breath. What was she to do? She desperately wanted to love him with all her heart and soul, but... how?
"Alliana, hush. We will work past this. I cannot deny that it pains me deeply, but part of me understands your fear. Perhaps in time...”
The words hung between them, words of hope tinged with despair, both knowing that if Alliana continued to be repulsed by her son that it would cause a break in the bond they had finally developed, one that probably would never mend.
Baby Mikhalen was a part of Mikhal, and to reject the child was to reject a part of him. If Alliana truly could never love her son, then Mikhal knew she could never truly love him either. All of the hopes he had wrapped up in his foolish ideals of love hinged on the babe who now lay looking sweet and innocent in the cradle across the room, and only time would tell the outcome of their lives together.
“He is content once more, Alliana. May I bring him to you?” Mikhal knew that perhaps it was far too soon to force the boy on Alliana, but he needed her to accept the child.
Alliana’s mouth opened an instant refusal ready to spring forth, and then she closed it and bit her lower lip. “I want to husband. I wish to love him as a mother should, I truly do, but he frightens me Mikhal. I... he....”
“He is but an innocent babe, Alliana. Are you to hold his father’s crimes against him then?”
“No! I... that isn’t it, you have changed. I know that, but... Perhaps it was the shock of it all. He... He looks so much like Marishka, especially when his demon self comes forth. It sent terror through me and I simply was unable to quell it. I have no control over my emotions, Mikhal. I know you can’t truly understand that, but please try. Part of me, the mother in me wanted to calm him, to nurture him, but when he became a hissing ... thing, I panicked. It struck fear into my heart.”
“There is a part of that inside of me too. You know that.”
“And I still hold fear of it as well. Your demon facade terrifies me. Please try and understand.”
“So you will not even hold him? Not even now when he is quiet?”
Alliana looked over at the cradle where her son lay. His tiny head was a mass of downy black ringlets and his fists were waving in the air as he gurgled contentedly. He looked so innocent, so sweet, but was it all a ruse? Was he indeed the epitome of Marishka or did his heart hold goodness like his father’s?
“Alliana I shall take him from the chamber when he fusses. I swear. I shall not force you to accept him. I just wish for you to mother him when he is calm. Let him know you, let him feel your love. How can he learn to care if he is abandoned?”
Alliana stared at the cradle once more. Little Mikhalen looked so angelic, so sweet, so... human. His tiny coos filled the room and went straight to her heart. He was her son after all, had come from her body, and her mother’s arms ached to hold him.
“You will take him when he begins to cry?”
“I promise you. Until you are ready you shall only see him like this.” Alliana thought that it would be a long time in coming before she would be ready to tend to her son when he was in his demon form, but she didn’t share those thoughts with her husband. Instead, she simply nodded yes, and watched as her powerful husband went to the cradle of their child and lifted him ever so delicately with the widest smile in the world on his face.
The pride and the happiness she saw there made her heart swell with tenderness for the man who had once been her hated abductor. How could she harbor those feelings any longer? It was simple, she couldn’t. He was her husband and she had a family now, and magick or no magick, prophecy or no, this was her home.
Alliana moved over on the bed, nestling Katia close to her breast, and then smiled up at her husband, the invitation clear in her eyes. He beamed back at her and laid Mikhalen beside his tiny daughter, then slid into the bed, lying on his side so he could gaze at his new family, as content as any man ever was. He, Mikhal the Merciless, Master Vampire, had sired not one, but two beautiful children. Children he knew he would cherish for the rest of his days.
As they lay together as a family, bonded by love, he thought about telling Alliana the secret of his empathy curse. Surely now she would see that he still loved her and their children more than life even without the magick. Surely she would understand and believe in him.
He looked up from his babes to his wife and saw that his confession would have to wait for another time. His exhausted wife had dozed off cradling her children with a serene smile upon her face. Mikhal leaned in to kiss her softly then settled back, keeping one
eye on his son lest he begin to fuss. As promised, he would whisk the boy away at the first sign of a tantrum, and would give Alliana all the time she needed to accept her vampire child.
As Mikhal watched over his family feeling as if almost all was right with the world, the angry little demon boy who had been so wronged by so many waited and listened to the gossip flying through the halls of the castle. No one paid him any mind. He was but a scraggly urchin, a thing to shove out of the way or kick for fun, but he had ears and he had a plan, one that would change the course of many lives in the castle, and he planned to implement it very soon.
Chapter Three
It had been close to a week since the arrival of her twins, and Alliana was recovering well, so well in fact that it irritated her to stay in her chambers, though she had to admit to still feeling pain from the birthing. Still, it wouldn’t have kept her bedridden, though she did have to take things slowly and rest often.
There were other reasons that kept her in her chambers and away from the courtyards she yearned for. Gypsy law insisted that a woman stay in seclusion for a fortnight after childbirth to keep evil spirits away from the mother and babes, and though she was far from her original home and family, Alliana cared about her old ways.
Mikhal had pounced upon the tradition when Natalya had mentioned it, ignoring the fact that Gypsy law stated the father must stay isolated as well, and simply agreed, all because he thought it was best for Alliana’s good health that she should remain abed in her chambers. Now, even though he spent many hours fussing over her, and she had the company of her children, it had seemed like a very long period of seclusion. Alliana knew what was considered right, and didn’t wish to go against customs, but she was restless.
Beneath the Shadows of Evil... Treasured Page 3