Unmistakeable

by Abby Reynolds

  This was awkward…. “Hi.”

  “What are you doing here?” she asked.

  What kind of question is that? “What are you doing here?”

  “Looking for a good time.”

  Damn, she was slutty. She was nothing like Alaska. “Then I suggest you look elsewhere.” Even if I started sleeping around again, I would never pick Payton. Not just because it would hurt Alaska, but I had no attraction to her. She was too young for me.

  “Actually, you’re exactly what I need.”

  “If you don’t back off, I’m decking you outside,” Livia threatened.

  I tried not to laugh because my sister was the weakest person in the world.

  Payton ignored her. “My sister tells me she has a thing for you.”

  “She did?” I couldn’t hide the hope in my voice.

  “And I can tell she’s really into you. She smiles like an idiot and gets all quiet. And she has nothing but good things to say about you. With Jace, she complained about him as often as she complimented him.”

  “Why are you telling me this?”

  She flicked her hair over one shoulder. “Because even though I hate my sister, I love her. Jace screwed her over good so now her head is up her ass, but I know she wants to be with you. I tried talking some sense into her but she doesn’t believe a word I say…not sure why…so now I need to fix the problem.”

  Where was this going? “What are you proposing?”

  “I know my sister really well. If she thinks I snatched you up, she’ll be jealous. But she’ll also loathe herself for letting you go. She’ll sit in silence and hate herself until she can’t take it anymore. Then she’ll scream and yell at you, telling you how much she hates you, and then she’s yours.”

  “Um…that’s a long shot, don’t you think?”

  “No.” She had a serious look on her face. “I know her better than anyone. I spent at least an hour convincing her to be with you, but she’s such a pussy that she won’t budge. Now I’m going to push her.”

  She was nothing like Alaska—at all.

  I was still uneasy. “I don’t want to hurt her…”

  “It’ll only be temporary.”

  This was a shot in the dark. I had no idea how it would go.

  “Trust me. When she thinks you’re with me, she’ll be so angry that she’ll realize she’d rather be with you than let some slut, me, take you. And the fact it’s me will just piss her off even more.”

  “I don’t know…”

  “It’s been weeks since you told her how you felt. What progress have you made?”

  None.

  She gave me a knowing look. “Let’s do it. I’m an expert when it comes to pulling my sister’s head out of her ass.”

  “Were you guys raised by the same guardians?” They were so different it was hard to believe they were related.

  “Yep. She became the sensitive, dark, and twisted one. I’m full of life and joy. Nothing can bring me down.” She extended her hand to shake mine. “We got a deal?”

  I looked at Livia, asking for help.

  Livia shrugged. “You got nothing to lose, right?”

  Scotty shook his head. “Don’t look at me.”

  I turned back to Payton and shook her hand. “I hope this works.”

  She had a devilish smile on her face. “It will.”

  CHAPTER THREE

  Alaska

  My life had become more burdensome since Ash told me how he felt. I couldn’t stop thinking about him and I couldn’t deny how I felt. Every time I was with him, I felt like I was with a friend—a best friend. We had a great time together and he made me laugh. But I also felt like the only woman who mattered to him.

  Jace and I had good moments. It wasn’t all bad. There was a point in time when he couldn’t keep his hands off me. We were in love, happy and carefree. But where that love went was beyond me.

  But it was different with Ash. Our relationship had started out as a dysfunctional relationship. I couldn’t stand him and he couldn’t stand me. His playboy lifestyle and his selfish nature was a huge turn off for me. But then I watched him change. I wasn’t sure how it happened, but it did. He grew into a different person, a man that I couldn’t stop thinking about.

  The physical attraction between us was undeniable. Any time we were in the same room, I felt the electricity course through the air. My hair stood on end because of the static. My lips burned like they were on fire. My body wanted to reach for his, claiming him. I wanted to be the only woman in his bed.

  But I was scared.

  Ash was a million times better than Jace ever was. Ash wasn’t perfect, but he admitted his flaws without shame. He wasn’t afraid to be who he was, and he wasn’t afraid to tell me the truth. Jace was different. He was a coward and thought too highly of himself. Ash knew he was an ass and wasn’t afraid to admit it.

  I didn’t want him to be with anyone else. I wanted him all to myself. But I just couldn’t do it. It was too soon. If I went through two heartbreaks, my body would explode. And I had a strong feeling that Ash would hurt me even more than Jace ever did.

  Ash had never been in a relationship before, so what if he got tired of me? Jace did. He moved on with someone else. There were probably countless others along the way. Ash was used to picking up random girls at any point in time. Wouldn’t he get bored of me? Wouldn’t our relationship burn out in a few weeks?

  The uncertainty kept me away from him. Would it hurt less to never love him than to love him and lose him? And he was just across the hall. If it didn’t work and he left me, I would have to move just to get away from him. I didn’t want to see all the girls who replaced me on his sheets.

  I should be working on my pictures but my mind kept drifting to Ash, wondering what kind of relationship we would have. I fantasized about kissing him countless times. We rolled around on his bed, our tongues dancing together. But I shook the thoughts away and tried to concentrate.

  A knock sounded on my door. “Open the door, skank.”

  Payton. I sighed then answered it. “What?”

  “What? I don’t get a hi?”

  “Hi. Now what?”

  She rolled her eyes and giggled. “I’ll never understand your humor.”

  I was annoyed with her from our last visit so I wasn’t exactly thrilled to see her.

  She walked inside my apartment uninvited.

  “Please come in,” I said sarcastically. I shut the door and turned back to her.

  “Arts and crafts on a Friday night?” She looked at my messy desk. “You’re really living it up.”

  I wasn’t in the mood for her attitude. “What do you want?”

  She rolled her eyes. “Fine. I’ll cut to the chase. I want to talk about Ash.”

  Not this again. “I don’t want to be with him. It’s never going to happen. Just drop it.”

  She nodded. “Perfect.”

  Wait. What?

  “So you don’t mind if I date him, then?”

  What? Was this a joke? “You want to date Ash?”

  “Is that a serious question? Who doesn’t want to date him?”

  “But he doesn’t do the relationship thing…only with me.”

  “You think I care? We have the same definition of date.” She flipped her hair over one shoulder. “So, you’re cool with it?”

  This was so sudden that I couldn’t process it. “Well, I…”

  “If you don’t want him, why can’t I have him? I’m not scared to get hurt. My solution to heartbreak is to keep living. Yours is to shrivel up and die. I’m not going to bug youand try to tell you how to live your life. Do what you want. But if you don’t want Ash, then I should take a shot. Don’t be selfish.”

  “Uh…” I couldn’t believe this was happening. “What makes you think you even have a chance with him?”

  “We ran into each other at a bar the other night. He was telling me he was upset over you but he feels like there’s nothing he can do. You’re just hurting him
. And we just…connected. I asked him out and he said yes.”

  He said yes?

  “So, it’s cool, right?” She stared me down, waiting for my response. “I don’t even know why I’m asking you because he isn’t your ex or anything so I’m not breaking any rules. He’s some guy you almost had a thing with. Not exactly enough to make him off limits.”

  “Uh…”

  She glared at me. “If you don’t want me to date him, why don’t you date him?”

  I didn’t have a response to that.

  “Then I’m going out with him. We’re just going to have fun. I’m not going to marry the guy or anything.” She flipped her hair over one shoulder then walked to the door. “I’m meeting him at his place so I need to go.”

  “You’re going out with him tonight?” My voice was high-pitched.

  “Yeah…it’s Friday night. Seriously, you need to loosen up.” She walked out then slammed the door behind her.

  I fell on the couch, unable to believe this was really happening. Ash was dating my sister? Of all women in the world, he had to choose her? My sister was slutty and dirty. She’d give him exactly what he wanted. They would snuggle close together at the restaurant then they would fool around on his couch. Then they would go in his bedroom…

  I wanted to throw up.

  Imagining him being with anyone made me sick, but the idea of Payton made me sick. He was mine. How could she possibly think it’s okay to date him? I mean, he wasn’t really mine…and I could have said no…but I felt selfish saying that. I didn’t want him but I didn’t want anyone else to have him.

  My curiosity got the best of me so I walked to my peephole and looked out. They were talking in front of his door then he put his arm around her waist. She talked his ear off while they headed to the stairs and out of my line of sight.

  I leaned against the door then slid to the floor. The guy that meant the most to me was out with someone else. And it was my sister.

  I stayed by the door, waiting for them to return. When I heard voices, I jumped up and looked through the peephole. Ash had his arm around her waist while they stood in front of his door.

  Payton, go home.

  He leaned close to her and shared quiet whispers. Her hands moved to his arms, gripping him tightly.

  I wanted to puke.

  Then Ash opened the door and they went inside.

  “No….”

  Ash was going to have sex with my sister. They were going to roll around on his bed and have a night filled with passion. I would stay in my apartment, listening to the sound of silence and my own thoughts. I cared about him so much but I missed my chance with him. Now Payton kissed the lips I longed to touch. She was feeling his soft sheets under her bare skin. And she was feeling him between her legs…

  Before I knew it, tears were falling down my face.

  I lost him.

  I didn’t want to get hurt but I did anyway. I thought staying away from Ash would keep me safe.

  That totally backfired.

  I couldn’t look at him. I didn’t want to see him. I couldn’t pretend that my heart wasn’t shattered into a million pieces. I didn’t think Jace left anything behind but apparently he did.

  I’d be avoiding my grandmother for months but I couldn’t put it off anymore. I was trying to protect her so she wouldn’t know I was in pain, but it was pretty obvious something was wrong since I disappeared. My grandmother was my mom and my dad. She raised me and told me to pursue my dreams. She loved me unconditionally. She was the only stability I ever had.

  And I felt like a brat for avoiding her.

  I finally arrived at the hospital and walked into her room, carrying a plate of fresh cinnamon rolls.

  She smiled when she saw me. “My girl…”

  I was glad she wasn’t mad at me. “Hey, Nana.” I kissed her cheek and set the food on her bedside. “Sorry I haven’t been around much…”

  “You’ve been busy?” The accusation was in her eyes.

  “Yes…and no.”

  Her eyes bore into mine like she knew something.

  I couldn’t hide anything when she did that. “Jace and I broke up,” I blurted.

  She didn’t seem surprised. “Are you okay?”

  I shrugged. “Yeah. It’s been a few months so I don’t really think about him anymore. But he really hurt me, and I guess I can’t let that go.”

  “Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise. Perhaps you belong with someone else.”

  Ash’s face immediately formed in my mind. “Maybe…” I was surprised my grandmother didn’t ask what happened between Jace and I. “He cheated on me.” I hated saying the words out loud. “And I feel so stupid…”

  “Why?”

  “I should have seen it. If I just opened my ignorant eyes, I would have realized what was going on right in front of my nose.”

  “That doesn’t make you stupid. You trusted him implicitly. And since you never even considered cheating on someone it’s hard for you to understand why he would do it to you. It’s not a bad thing. Actually, it’s a good thing.”

  “Well, I’ll never make that mistake again.”

  “You mean you’ll never trust anyone again?”

  “Yeah…”

  “What would that solve?”

  I stared at the wall across from me, looking at all the cabinets and drawers. “I just don’t want to feel like that again…it’s too painful.”

  “Just because one guy hurt you doesn’t mean another one will. Don’t punish the rest of the male population for one loser.” She gave me a stern look. “There are great men out there. I was married to one for thirty years.”

  My grandmother never had a bad thing to say about my grandfather. Every story she recounted talked about happy moments, never sad ones. Their love still endured even after death.

  “You’ll find the right guy…even if you already know him.”

  Ash came into my mind again. But now he was dating my sister. He was moving on, finding someone else to entertain him. He wouldn’t wait for me forever, and that’s exactly what I told him to do. But that didn’t make me feel any better.

  When I was with him, everything felt right. We clicked together in a way I never did with Jace. Our relationship started off rocky, but he was still wonderful to me even when he was an ass. And he changed so much over time. I knew he was a beautiful person underneath all that hardness. But he only showed it to me…

  “What are you thinking about?” she asked.

  My thoughts were shattered. “Oh nothing.”

  “It didn’t look like nothing.”

  I sighed. I swear my grandmother could read my mind. “There’s this guy I kinda like…”

  “The one who helped you with your truck?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Why don’t you give him a chance?”

  I shrugged. “He’s…too risky.”

  “Risky?”

  “He used to be the biggest manwhore I’ve ever known. He said he wanted a relationship with me, to be something more. But I’m afraid he’ll get tired of me then hurt me, just the way Jace did.”

  “Stop comparing the two.” Her voice was harsh.

  “I know, I know. But I’m not ready to put myself out there again. I can’t get hurt…”

  “You risk that no matter what. And if you don’t scoop him up, someone else will. And that will hurt even more.”

  I swallowed the lump in my throat. I knew that feeling all too well.

  “Think about it, dear. He sounds like a good guy.”

  “He is a good guy.”

  “Then go for it.”

  “It’s too soon…and he started dating someone.” I would never admit it was Payton.

  “It’s not too late. Tell him how you feel. It might change things.”

  “I don’t know…”

  “You know what I admire about your sister?”

  Where was this going?

  “She’s a fighter. If she wants something, she grabs it by t
he throat and holds on. She doesn’t take no for an answer unless she absolutely has to. You choose to wait for things to come to you. You have patience like I’ve never known. But sometimes you have to break out of your element and do things differently. Fight for him if you really want him.”

  When I imagined him with someone else, I wanted to die. What if he fell for her and wanted something more, like a relationship? What if I was replaced and he never looked back? I’d have to live with that regret forever.

  “Just think about it.” She opened the cinnamon rolls and took a sniff. “They smell wonderful.”

  “Thank you…” My mind was elsewhere. I didn’t want to talk about this anymore. Thinking about Ash was making me sick. “Would you like me to read to you?” Harry Potter would distract my mind. I reached for the book but realized it was missing. “Did you finish it already?”

  “Actually, I’ve been reading Fifty Shades of Grey. That Christian Grey is something else…”

  Was she being serious right now? “Um…you’re reading that?” This was awkward.

  “Yep.” She moved to her bedside and grabbed a tablet. Then she turned it on then handed it to me. “That was the last page I was on.”

  She didn’t expect me to read this out loud, right?

  I felt the device in my hands and looked at the screen. “When did you get a kindle?”

  “My medical student got it for me. He’s a sweetheart.” She didn’t look at me when she said it. “And he got me a gift card so I could download books.”

  My heart moved into my throat. I froze, suddenly feeling disoriented. I remembered seeing Ash at the hospital months ago. He said he was bringing a gift to his patient, something to make her happy.

  Was my grandmother his patient?

  Was she the one who changed him? Made him more compassionate? “Nana, who got this for you?”

  “His name is Dr. James, and he’s one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met. He’s compassionate, kind, real, and honest. And he’s in love with a girl—but she won’t give him a chance. She sounds like an idiot to me.” She fluffed her pillow. “Now start reading.”

  My hands started to shake. He’d been taking care of my grandma the whole time? And he talked about me? “I have to go.” I placed the kindle on the nightstand then headed to the door.