Unmistakeable

by Abby Reynolds

  “Did Ash kick his ass?” she asked.

  “Actually, yes.”

  “I like him. He’s reserved but he can snap at any moment.”

  I put my menu down and waited for our order to be taken.

  Payton grabbed a strand of hair then played with it in her fingertips. She started to ramble on about a new outfit she got. Apparently, it made her chest look great and her ass look unbelievable. I just tuned her out.

  I missed Ash. He was at dinner with his parents, so I knew he was missing me as much as I was missing him. I knew I was desperate for him when I looked across the restaurant and spotted him sitting with a pretty girl. My eyes were playing tricks on me, and my heart was projecting what I wanted.

  “It makes my breasts look two cup sizes bigger, I swear.” Payton kept rambling on.

  I kept staring at the man who looked so similar to the man I loved. The longer I stared, the more I started to question my sanity. He wore the same blazer he wore a few weeks ago. His hair was the same. Everything was the same…

  I squinted, unable to believe it was really him.

  But it was.

  A pretty brunette was sitting across from him. She had long brown hair that was silky and shiny. She wore a black dress, and her chest was prominent. Her thin legs extended under the table. She laughed at something he said, and Ash kept eating his dinner. There were no other place settings. It was just the two of them.

  Why would he lie to me…?

  My heart moved into my throat and I thought I was going to hurl. He was at dinner with some other girl. She was enjoying his company and he was clearly enjoying hers. He smiled at her from across the table then said something. When she responded, he laughed. They were having a great time.

  He lied to me…

  My head was starting to spin and I couldn’t think straight. My breathing was haggard and my heart hurt so much I thought it was bleeding. He was cheating on me. He promised he would never hurt me, but a few months into our relationship he was already sneaking around behind my back. The tears burned behind my eyes but I didn’t let them fall.

  No, not again. I wouldn’t cry over another cheating asshole.

  Payton watched my face. “Calm down. I’ll let you borrow it.”

  I wasn’t listening to her. I threw my napkin down and stormed out.

  Payton chased after me. “Geez, did you start your period or something?”

  “Shut the fuck up, Payton.”

  The couples waiting for tables by the door flinched at my profanity. They moved away from the door, letting me get through.

  “What is your problem?” She kept talking in my ear until we reached the car.

  “Take me home.”

  “What—”

  “Just take me home. Don’t argue with me. Don’t speak to me. Do it.”

  “Fine.” She unlocked the doors then we got inside. She started the engine then turned her gangster music on. I didn’t care what we listened to. The image burned into my brain would never be erased. Nothing could distract me from the excruciating pain I felt. Ash played me and he played me good. I felt so stupid. Why did I think he would ever change? He was a player and he would always be a player.

  She reached her apartment then got out. “Will you tell me why you’re freaking out?”

  I got into my car without responding. Then I peeled out and headed home. When I was finally alone, the tears fell down my face.

  Damn it.

  I cried for the entire drive, listening to the sound of my own tears. My hands shook while I gripped the wheel. I felt sick, nauseated.

  When I got home, I used my key to get into his apartment. He had my spare key on his nightstand and I wanted it back. I snatched it so he couldn’t get into my apartment then I left his behind. Then I went back to my apartment, slamming the door and turning off all the lights.

  Once I was alone, the pain gripped me. This was much worse than it ever was with Jace. This betrayal was more painful. He actually made me believe I could trust him again. That was worse. If he just wanted to fuck me, he should have done it that night when I was drunk. It would have hurt a lot less.

  Still wearing my clothes, I got into bed and pulled the covers over my head, trying to hide from the world.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Ash

  When I came home, Alaska’s car was in her parking spot.

  Yes. She was home.

  I was eager to press kisses all over her body. And I needed to vent about my parents. She was the one person I could tell everything to. With my sister, I had to be selective. But with Alaska, there was no filter.

  I walked into my apartment, expecting to see her curled up in my bed. But she wasn’t there. I raised an eyebrow then looked at my phone, seeing if she left me any messages. She hadn’t.

  I grabbed her key on the nightstand and walked to her apartment. Maybe she thought I was supposed to stay at her place tonight. I didn’t care where we stayed. As long as we were in the same bed, I didn’t care.

  I tried to put the key in the door but it wouldn’t budge. After a few tries, I examined the key under the light.

  It was mine.

  How did they get mixed up?

  I pulled out my phone. It wasn’t even ten o’ clock. All the lights were off but she must be awake. I sent her a text.

  Darling, I’m outside your door and I’m eager to be in your bed.

  No response.

  Was she asleep? Maybe she was drinking tonight so she passed out? But that didn’t sound like her.

  I knocked on her door.

  No response.

  Maybe Payton picked her up and left her car here. That made the most sense.

  But why wasn’t she texting me back?

  We must have gotten our keys mixed up so you don’t have my spare. Just knock on my door when you get back.

  No response.

  Her silence was driving me crazy. Why wasn’t she responding? Did something happen to her? I wanted to call Payton and check on her, but I needed to calm down. I’m sure I’m just overreacting.

  I went into my apartment then lay in bed, my phone sitting on my chest. If she texted me, I wanted to know. I stared at the ceiling for a long time, worrying about the girl who held my heart. Because if something happened to her, it happened to me.

  Unable to keep my eyes open, I fell asleep.

  My phone lay on my chest, not vibrating all night.

  When I woke up the next morning, my eyes flashed open. I immediately fished for my phone in the sheets until I finally grabbed it. I blinked my eyes, my vision blurry, and then finally focused.

  I had no messages.

  I stumbled out of bed then got to my feet. I threw my flip-flops on, my heart pounding in my chest. Why didn’t she text me back? Did something happen? Was she okay?

  I was fucking terrified.

  I came to her door then slammed my fist into it. “Alaska? Are you home?”

  No response. I didn’t hear a sound.

  I knocked again, hoping she was asleep in her bedroom. “Alaska?”

  What the fuck was going on?

  I walked to the top of the stairs and looked for her truck. It was exactly where she left it.

  I put my hands on my head, gripping my skull.

  Shit. Shit. Shit.

  I called Payton. I was desperate at this point and terrified.

  She didn’t answer.

  “God fucking damn it.” I called her again and listened to it ring.

  She answered. “Muh?”

  She was obviously still asleep. “Where’s Alaska?”

  “Alaska?” She yawned into the phone. “Why the hell would I know?”

  “When was the last time you saw her?”

  “She got into her truck at my apartment then drove away. That’s all I know.”

  “Her truck is here but she’s not answering my messages or her door.”

  “I talked to her this morning.”

  The anger came out. “You just said the
last time you saw her was last night.”

  “Yeah, the last time I saw her. Not talked to her. I don’t know where she is.”

  “What did you say to her this morning?”

  “I asked if she was okay. She was acting weird last night.”

  “What did she say?” I demanded.

  “That she was fine. Then she hung up on me—that bitch.”

  “When was this?”

  “I don’t know…an hour ago. I fell back asleep because I was bored.”

  “Do you know where she was?”

  “Dude, she’s fine. If she were in danger she would tell me.”

  None of this was making sense.

  “Maybe you pissed her off.”

  “No.”

  “Well, I don’t know. Can I go back to bed now?”

  I hung up then marched back to her door. I banged my fists on it. “Answer the door!” Now I knew she was inside.

  No response.

  “I’m going to stand here all day until you talk to me.”

  Light footsteps moved from inside.

  I breathed a sigh of relief.

  She unlocked the door then opened it. Her face was pale like winter morning, and her lips were lifeless. They were white, not even pink. Her brown eyes were almost black. She looked like she lost the world, lost everything.

  “Darling, what’s wrong?” The panic moved into my throat. I stepped toward her, moving to embrace her.

  “Don’t. Touch. Me.” The fire leapt in her eyes.

  I froze in place. “I don’t understand…”

  “Leave me alone, Ash. I don’t want to see you ever again.”

  What the fuck was going on? “What did I do?”

  The fire turned into an uncontrollable blaze. “You promised me you would never hurt me and I feel so stupid for ever believing you. Do you get off to hurting people? Are you a sadist? Go fuck yourself and leave me the hell alone.” She tried to slam the door in my face but I held it open.

  “Alaska, what are you talking about?”

  “I saw you on your date last night. You were having a great time with a beautiful girl. I’m sure you went to her place afterwards and fucked her brains out. I was stupid for ever thinking you were having dinner with your parents. You hate them.” The tears broke the surface and pooled in her eyes.

  Clementine. She must have seen me with her. “It’s not what you think.”

  She slapped me hard across the face.

  My head turned and my cheek immediately welled.

  “All I asked for was your honesty. Do not insult me by lying to me.” The tears fell down her face.

  I breathed through the sting of her hit. It didn’t hurt, but I was pissed she hit me. She didn’t even hit Jace. I turned back to her, the fury on my face. “I’m not lying. I met my parents for dinner and they set me up on a date. I told them about you but they ditched me anyway. The girl was nice and she didn’t want to be there either so we made the best of a bad situation. I told her I had a girlfriend and I made it clear my heart belonged to someone else.”

  “I may have been stupid for believing your first lie, but I’m not dumb enough to believe your second one.”

  I marched into her apartment then gripped her by both wrists. I pulled her close to me, making her face me head on. “I’m not lying. I can introduce you to Clementine and she can tell you the truth since my word obviously doesn’t mean shit to you.”

  She stared at me, tears falling down her face.

  “Now let’s go.”

  “I’m not going anywhere.”

  I scooped her up in my arms and carried her out the door. She squirmed in my grasp and tried to get free. “We’re doing this. Don’t fight it.” I shut the door then locked it.

  She finally squirmed from my grasp but I grabbed her again. “Ash, let me go.”

  “No.” I pulled her down the stairs and got her to my car. I pushed her inside then came to the driver’s seat.

  “She’s just going to say what you want her to say.” She sniffed and wiped her tears away.

  “How? When will I have the opportunity to tell her to lie for me? You’re watching me.” I pulled away from the apartment then drove to Clementine’s.

  “Then how do you know where she lives?”

  “Because I’m not a dick and gave her a ride home.”

  We spent the rest of the drive in silence. She cried quietly next to me, trying to hide her face. When we arrived, I walked with her up the steps and to the door. I rang the doorbell and stood back.

  Alaska crossed her arms over her chest and wiped her tears away, trying to hide her obvious emotion. I didn’t touch her. I put my hands in my pockets, trying not to snap. I was livid with Alaska.

  Clementine opened the door wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt. She obviously just woke up. “Ash?”

  “Hey.” I turned to Alaska. “Ask her whatever you want to know.”

  Clementine raised an eyebrow then glanced back and forth between us. “What’s going on…?”

  “Ask her.” I stared Alaska down.

  She wouldn’t budge.

  Then I looked at Clementine. “What happened last night?”

  “What do you mean?” She gripped her door.

  “Just tell us what happened from beginning to end.” My hands were balled into fists.

  “Okay…” She looked at Alaska before she spoke. “I met Ash and his parents for dinner because they said they wanted me to meet their son. He was nice but was a little rude to his parents, understandably so. He said he had a girlfriend and he wasn’t interested in dating me. His parents left anyway, so we had dinner together. We’re both in medicine so we had a lot to talk about. He mentioned you often. Then he gave me a ride home and shook my hand before I walked into my apartment.” Clementine glanced at me, unsure what else to do.

  “Thank you, Clementine. You’ve been very helpful.” I turned away and walked back to my car.

  Alaska trailed behind me, silent.

  I opened the door for her even though I shouldn’t. Then I slammed it hard, unable to bottle my rage.

  She looked out the window for the entire drive home. I thought I heard a sniff or two from her side of the car. I gripped the steering wheel, my knuckles turning white. When we arrived at home, I marched to my apartment without looking at her.

  I got my key in the door then opened it.

  “Ash?” Alaska stood behind me.

  “What?” I didn’t turn around.

  “I’m sorry…when I saw you it didn’t look good.”

  I slammed my door and turned around. I couldn’t remember the last time I was this mad.

  She flinched at the fire in my eyes.

  I rushed her, pushing her all the way back until she hit her door. “Why the fuck didn’t you just come over to me in the restaurant? All you had to do was ask me what I was doing. But no, you ran.”

  She breathed hard while I yelled in her face. My arms were pinned on either side of her, caging her in.

  “You should have trusted me, Alaska. If I wasn’t kissing her or touching her, then you had no right to assume I was cheating on you. If you really thought that, you should have come to my table and confronted me. If you had just done that, all of this wouldn’t have happened.”

  “I’m sorry, okay? After what I went through with Jace I—”

  “I’m not him!” I slammed my fists into her door. “I’m not a fucking cheater. That’s no excuse, Alaska. You claimed that you trust me but you obviously don’t.” I dropped my hands and stepped back. “I can deal with you jumping to conclusions if I try hard enough, but I can’t deal with the way you treated me. Alaska, I was fucking terrified something happened to you. You didn’t respond to any of my messages and you didn’t answer the door. How did I know you were safe? That someone wasn’t raping you? You know about my past and you know about my heartbreak. How could you be so selfish as to leave me hanging like that? I can’t just let that go.” I stared her down, seeing the fear on her face. U
nable to look at her for a second longer, I stormed into my apartment and slammed the door.

  Then I locked it.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Alaska

  I really messed this up.

  When I saw him with Clementine, I just assumed the worst. Now I felt stupid. And I felt horrible for hurting Ash. We were so perfect but I ruined all of that. I wasn’t even sure if we were still together. It seemed like his final words were a goodbye. And I didn’t blame him for not wanting to be with me.

  I mooped around the house for the next few days, wishing I could turn back time and undo everything. I wished I had just confronted him at the restaurant. I would have felt stupid anyway, but not quite as stupid as I feel now. And I wouldn’t have hurt Ash.

  What do I do?

  I didn’t see Ash for the next few days. He went to school at the same time every morning but I didn’t try to talk to him. The look of anger on his face made me stay away. He probably wanted his space, to get away from me.

  I stayed home and tried not to leave my apartment. I didn’t feel like doing anything or seeing anyone. Every time I had the courage to talk to Ash, I chickened out.

  Did he hate me?

  I went down to the laundry room and started a load. Then I sat down and placed my laptop on my knees, trying to get some work done while I waited for my clothes to finish.

  The door opened and Ash walked inside. He noticed me against the wall but quickly averted his gaze, ignoring me. He moved to the washer and dumped his clothes inside. Then he started it.

  Should I say something?

  He moved to the other side of the room and pulled out his textbooks. Then he put his ear buds in and turned on his iPod.

  Yeah…he didn’t want to talk to me.

  I saw him again when I checked the mail. He came from behind me then opened his box. Like I didn’t exist, he pulled everything out and stuffed it under his arm. He didn’t sort it like he usually did, trying to get away from me as quickly as possible.

  When he finally left the lobby, the tears welled up in my eyes then they cascaded over. Fortunately, I was alone so no one could listen to the sound of me crying, especially Ash.

  By the next week, I was certain he hated me. He hadn’t tried talking to me and I knew he didn’t want me to talk to him. I loathed myself for ruining the best relationship I ever had. I loved him with my whole heart but I threw him away. It was a regret I’d have to live with for the rest of my life.