Unmistakeable

by Abby Reynolds

“You’re coming back.”

  “And Alaska?” She lowered her voice.

  “Yeah?”

  “Marry Ash.”

  My heart convulsed in my chest. “It hasn’t been very long…”

  “It doesn’t matter. When you know, you know.” She pulled away and gave me a firm look. “Don’t push him away…”

  “I won’t.”

  Ash came back into the room, his coffee absent. “They are outside the door.”

  “Okay.” She looked at us one more time. “I’ll see you soon. And if not, I’ll be seeing your grandfather. Either one gives me comfort.”

  Ash came to my side then rubbed my back. He kissed a falling tear.

  My grandmother opened her arms to him. “I can’t forget you.”

  He leaned over and hugged her tightly. They shared a few whispers, too low for my and Payton to hear. Then he pulled away and kissed her on the forehead. “You’ve been my favorite patient.”

  “You’ve been my favorite doctor.” She patted his cheek then let him step away.

  The medical team came into the room and grabbed her bed. They undid the locks on the wheels and rolled her away.

  The surgeon shook my hand. My grip was weak because I was in a daze. “I’ll give you updates when I can.”

  “Thanks…” I dropped my hand.

  They rolled my grandmother out of the room.

  And then she was gone.

  Ash stayed at my side while we sat in the waiting room. His hand was either on my thigh or touching me in some way. The surgery would last a few hours so there was nothing to do but sit and think.

  Payton kept to herself, crossing her arms over her chest and staring at nothing in particular.

  Ash pressed a kiss to the shell of my ear. “Can I get you anything? Coffee? Something to eat?”

  “I’m not hungry.”

  “How about a book? Something to distract your mind.”

  “I can’t read right now.” I was being rude to Ash but I couldn’t help it.

  His hand moved into my hair and he stroked it gently.

  A man came to Ash’s side, and I glanced at him to see whom it was. It was Sage, one of Ash’s close friends.

  “Hey,” he said quietly. “I thought you could use some support.”

  “Thanks, man.” Ash shook his hand.

  I nodded to him but said nothing.

  Sage looked at Payton a few feet away. “How’s she doing?”

  “I can’t tell,” Ash whispered. “She’s been pretty quiet.”

  Sage cleared his throat then walked over to her. Then he sat beside her, engaging her in quiet conversation.

  “Is he seriously hitting on my sister right now?” I couldn’t hold back the anger.

  “No.” He grabbed my hand and squeezed. “He’s just trying to make the situation better. If Payton wants him to go away, she’ll tell him. You know her.”

  I knew her too well. She didn’t have a problem kicking men in the balls. I’d seen her do it hundreds of times. One time a guy grabbed her ass when he walked by in a bar, and she pressed the heel of her stiletto directly into his groin. He fell to the floor, gasping.

  Payton could definitely handle her own.

  Ash put his arm over my shoulder and held me close. “Darling, I’m here. Don’t forget that.”

  “I know…I’m sorry I’m being rude.”

  “You’re not being rude. Don’t apologize.”

  A couple approached us but I didn’t look up to see who it was.

  “Hey,” Ash said. “Thanks for coming.”

  “Of course.” Livia gave him a weak smile. Then she rubbed my shoulder. “I hope everything will be okay.”

  “Thank you,” I whispered.

  Scotty clapped my shoulder then took a seat beside Livia.

  “Ash?”

  Damn, how many people were coming?

  I looked up to see his mom. She had a sad look on her face. Her eyes were squinted and her lips were pressed tight together.

  What was she doing here?

  Ash asked that question for me. “Why are you here? In case you didn’t notice, now is not a good time for me to deal with your bullshit.”

  Wow, he cut right to the chase.

  “No, no.” She held up her hand and gripped his shoulder. “Livia told us about Alaska’s grandmother. We just came in case you needed anything.”

  That was the last thing I expected.

  Ash was suspicious. “Really?”

  His father nodded. “Livia made it clear you love this girl. And if you love her, then we love her. We’re sorry about that date we set you up on. We wouldn’t have done it if we’d known about Alaska.”

  Ash kept his arm around me. “Thanks…I appreciate that.”

  His mom handed me a thermos. “It isn’t much, but whenever Ash and Livia were upset, I made them hot cocoa. It usually made them feel better.”

  I felt my stomach turn in a knot. I stared at the cup, understanding the gesture. “Thank you…” I took it from her hands and held it close.

  Ash gave her a look of approval. “Thanks, Mom. We both appreciate it.”

  She nodded then took a seat with her husband.

  I held the mug in my hands, unable to believe that just happened. “That was nice of them.”

  “It was.” He turned to Livia. “You talked some sense into them.”

  “Not really,” she said. “I just reminded them how headstrong you were. If they don’t accept the woman you love, you’ll cut them out in a heartbeat. And I told them you’ve never loved a girl before, so she’s the one. They shouldn’t bother fighting it.”

  He smiled at her. “Thanks, Liv.”

  “Anytime.”

  “But they still hate me.” Scotty had a joking look in his eye.

  “It’s okay,” Livia said. “Since you don’t have their approval it makes me hotter for you.”

  Scotty wiggled his eyebrows. “I like it. I’m the bad boy you can’t resist.”

  Their banter made me giggle.

  Ash caught the look and smiled. “I’m glad my slutty sister is entertaining.”

  “She’s not slutty,” I argued.

  “Thank you.” Livia gave me an appreciative glance.

  “But she’s ugly as hell,” he said. “You can’t argue with me on that one.”

  “I put a bag over her head,” Scotty said.

  Ash laughed hard.

  Livia glared at him then hit him on the arm.

  I tried not to laugh because I was afraid I’d spill my hot chocolate.

  “You know I’m kidding, babe.” He hooked his arm around her shoulders. “I’m madly in love with you.”

  “Doesn’t hurt to say it once in a while…” She shot him a glare.

  “How about I show you instead?” He gripped her thigh. “Tonight when we get home.”

  “Don’t make Alaska throw up her hot cocoa,” Ash said.

  “Leave them alone,” I said. “They’re cute.”

  “Would you think it was cute if I talked about our sex lives to my sister?” he countered.

  “Eww.” Livia cringed. “Please don’t.”

  “And no, I don’t put a bag over her head,” Ash said.

  “She probably puts one over yours,” Scotty argued.

  Livia and Scotty laughed.

  Ash glared at both of them then ignored them.

  It was nice having something to distract my mind. Having people who cared about me made it easier. I looked over at Payton and noticed she was still talking to Sage. Everything seemed to be fine. He wasn’t laying on the floor gripping his testicles.

  Ash leaned back in his chair then rubbed the back of my neck, silently comforting me. “Thanks for coming, guys. We appreciate it.”

  “We’re family,” Livia said. “We’ll always be here.”

  “The surgery should have been over by now.” I couldn’t help my anxiety. What was taking so long? I hadn’t gotten a single update.

  Ash held me close. �
�Just be patient.”

  “The Patelos are not known for their patience.”

  “No. They are known for their cooking and beauty.”

  I smirked slightly, glad he could cheer me up.

  “I’ve never seen you be so sweet in my entire life,” Livia said.

  “Because I can’t stand you,” Ash snapped.

  “No. You aren’t sweet like that to anyone.” She gave him a glare.

  “Because Alaska is the only one who can keep me in check. And I love her.”

  Livia’s eyes softened. “Awe…my brother is in love.”

  “Very much so.” He kissed my forehead.

  The waiting seemed to stretch on forever. The surgery should have been done an hour ago. “Is something wrong?”

  “Sometimes surgeries are longer than expected,” Ash said. “That’s normal.”

  I sighed, unable to hide my irritation. When I glanced at Payton she was still sitting with Sage. They both had coffees in their hands. “Is Sage into my sister?”

  Ash shrugged. “He claims he isn’t but I haven’t seen him comfort me once.”

  “Is he a good guy?”

  He smirked. “I don’t think we should worry about Sage hurting her. It’s the other way around.”

  I knew that was true.

  The doors finally opened and the surgeon came through. His cap was still over his head and he wore his white coat. He spotted me then came toward me. His face was unreadable.

  Please be good news.

  Ash stood up then helped me to my feet. Payton ditched Sage then joined me. We came to the doctor then stilled. My breathing was loud in my ears. My heart was pounding. Sweat came out of nowhere. Ash kept his hand on my back to steady me.

  He didn’t give an introduction. He held his hands together in front of his stomach, keeping his back straight. His face didn’t give anyway. “Due to the complications with her heart, we were unable to revive her during the procedure. We lost her…I’m sorry.”

  What…?

  My heart dropped into my stomach.

  No.

  Wait. No.

  This couldn’t be real.

  Payton covered her mouth and her eyes bubbled up. She was speechless, unable to speak. She stepped back slightly, like she was drifting away.

  I stared at the tile below my feet, trying to process what he just said. “But it’s a routine procedure…”

  “I’m sorry. But she was aware of the risk due to her heart. She was adamant about going through it. I’m sorry.”

  She was aware of the risk to her heart?

  “I’m very sorry for your loss.” He nodded slightly then walked away.

  Ash pulled me into his arms and let me bury my face in my chest, letting me hide from the world. My lungs were expanding so far that I couldn’t take in the air. Everything hurt. Everything stung.

  I couldn’t breathe.

  I heard Payton crying a few feet away, unable to hide her grief. She never cried or got upset. But this was an exception.

  Ash ran his fingers through my hair while he held me. He said nothing, at a loss of words.

  I faintly heard the sound of feet approach us.

  “I’m sorry,” Livia whispered.

  Ash turned his head slightly. “Thank you. Please leave. Alaska doesn’t want to see anyone right now.”

  Without another word, everyone left.

  I raised my head to look at Payton, knowing she needed comfort, but Sage was holding her, letting her cry into his chest.

  “Let’s go home,” Ash whispered. “You can deal with everything in the morning.”

  I didn’t argue because my lips couldn’t move. I couldn’t speak.

  Ash scooped me up in my arms then carried me outside. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kept my eyes closed, trying to make myself believe this was all a dream. I felt my body placed into the passenger seat. When the seatbelt clicked, I knew everything was real.

  He carried me into his apartment and his bedroom, placing me on his sheets. I lay there, unable to move. Ash undressed me, pulling my clothes off despite my unresponsive body. Then he stripped his clothes away and lay beside me under the covers, holding me.

  I closed my eyes and let the grief take me.

  Days passed and I hardly moved. Ash tried to get me to eat but I wasn’t hungry. He couldn’t get me to do anything. He never spoke to me or tried to fill the silence with empty words. He never tried to talk me out of my grief. And I appreciated that.

  He showered and bathed me when I refused to do it. He washed my hair for me then dried me off before he carried me back to bed. He made breakfast one morning but I didn’t touch mine. All I felt was pain. There was no room for appetite.

  On the fourth day, Ash woke me up with a kiss to my cheek. “Darling, we have to make all the arrangements today.”

  I wasn’t leaving this bed.

  “Payton has been calling. You can’t put it off any longer.”

  I groaned. “Just leave me alone.”

  He pulled me to his chest and kissed my neck. “I would go for you but I can’t. I can handle all the arrangements but I need you to at least be present.”

  I didn’t want to do this.

  “You can do it, darling. I know you can.”

  I finally got out of bed and put some clothes on.

  Payton and I sat across from the desk where my grandmother’s lawyer sat. Ash sat beside me, holding my hand on his thigh. He never ceased his touch, reminding me he was always there.

  Mr. Bradley got right to the point. “Your grandmother is giving everything she has to the two of you. All her assets, possessions, and money are being divided between you evenly.”

  I didn’t care.

  He drafted the paperwork then handed a copy to each of us. “This is what you’ll be receiving. Just sign the bottom.”

  I didn’t read through the list. I just signed.

  Ash steadied my hand. “Read it first, darling.”

  I sighed then looked through the list. When I looked at the amount I was inheriting, my mouth went dry. “There must be some sort of mistake.”

  “No.” Mr. Bradley closed his folder. “Her husband put their savings in mutual funds years ago. It grew over time. I’m not sure if Mrs. Patelo was aware of that.”

  “But a million dollars each?” I asked incredulously. “Is that right?”

  “It was her retirement.” Mr. Bradley sounded bored.

  I couldn’t believe this.

  Payton didn’t seem thrilled. Normally, she’d be jumping off the walls talking about all the clothes she could buy. But this meant little to both of us.

  “And now the funeral arrangements…” He took out his pen and paper.

  I didn’t want to do this. I shot a look at Payton and she returned the same look.

  “I’ll be taking care of it,” Ash said. “What do we need to do first?”

  I was relieved I didn’t have to deal with this. It was too hard. It made it more real. I leaned into Ash and tried to find comfort in his warmth. Payton stared at the wall, looking miserable.

  I couldn’t believe this was happening.

  “Darling, you need to get ready.”

  I rolled over and hugged the pillow. “Let me sleep.” That’s all I’ve been doing for the past few days, trying to forget about reality.

  “You can’t miss the funeral.”

  I didn’t want to say goodbye. It was too hard.

  Ash laid the clothes on the bed. “I found this in your closet. It will look nice on you.”

  I didn’t move.

  “I know this is hard, but I’m here with you. I can split the load with you but I can’t carry it all. Come on, darling. I know you can do this.”

  I sighed then finally sat up. “Can you help me get dressed?”

  “Of course.”

  We arrived at the church and took our seats. Ash sat beside me, gripping my hand on his thigh. Having him to support me made this a million times easier. I couldn’t imagine
how hard it would have been without him. I felt bad for Payton that she didn’t have someone like I did.

  When I looked at my sister, she was sitting further down the row, Sage beside her. He wasn’t touching her, but he was still there. He probably wanted something romantic with her, but knowing Payton, all she wanted was a friendship. But it was nice she had someone anyway.

  The priest resided over the ceremony, and I grabbed my tissues and dabbed my eyes every few minutes. My grandmother was catholic, so the ceremony was long. No one made any speeches. I stared at the portrait of my mother Ash had taken care of.

  I couldn’t believe she was gone.

  This was real.

  When the rosary was over, we headed to the burial ground. Payton walked beside me then hooked her arm through mine. Ash drifted away, giving us some privacy. He walked with Sage, talking quietly.

  “Are you doing okay?” I asked.

  She shrugged. “As okay as possible.”

  “I can’t believe this is happening…”

  She sighed. “I can’t either. I’m not sure why the doctors let her go through with it, especially Ash.”

  “Ash?”

  “Wasn’t he her doctor?”

  “Well, yeah…”

  “So he obviously knew about it and he didn’t stop her.”

  My heart suddenly went cold. Was he the one who told her to do it? Was that why he wouldn’t discuss it with me? Would he really do that?

  Payton walked beside me, staring at the ground.

  When we reached the burial grounds, we gathered around while the coffin was lowered. Ash returned to my side and put his arm around my waist. The tears wouldn’t stop falling and I couldn’t control the choking sobs that came from my throat.

  Saying goodbye was the hardest thing to do. I wasn’t ready to do it. My grandmother was the only guardian I had in this world. I lost my grandfather now I lost my mom. My piece of shit mother didn’t even show up. That’s how horrible of a person she was. At least she was buried with my grandfather. So, she wasn’t alone.

  People started to drift away and head to the wake at my grandmother’s house. Ash hired caterers to take care of the event, making sure Payton and I didn’t have to worry about it.

  Eventually, the four of us were the last people to remain. Sage stood next to Payton, his shoulder touching hers. Ash stood behind me and hooked his arm around my waist, holding me from behind.