by Jenn Vakey
7/10/09- This one was probably the easiest out of all of the grabs. I parked down the street from the school and raised the hood on my car. Just as expected, the vessel pulled right over to help me out. I told him that I needed a jump, which he grinned at, then asked if he wouldn’t mind grabbing the cables from my trunk. It only took moments for me to drug him and push him in. After leaving the note on his car, with the door open so it would be obvious, I brought him right out to the cabin. Since I was on my lunch break, I didn’t have time to do to the procedure, but I did it right after I got off. It took me a little longer to get back out here than I planned. His car wasn’t found for a few hours, and then Detective Wilcome sent Ben and me out to the scene. It took us an hour to go over every inch of the car, and then I was able to take off after that. For once, I’m kind of glad Ben is his go-to guy. I wouldn’t have been thrilled if I ended up stuck there all night. Detective Wilcome is looking like crap. He’s lost close to ten pounds, and I don’t think he’s sleeping much. Good. I’m glad.
The procedure went well. This one actually wasn’t freaking out when he woke up like the last ones. I guess he knows there’s nothing he can do about it. Maybe that’s why Justin wanted him so bad. He knew he wouldn’t fight the transfer, and he wouldn’t need to waste all of his energy just trying to get in. I haven’t really talked to him much tonight. I want to give him enough time to relax and get his strength up. I can’t wait for tomorrow, though. It’s been great getting to see him in between the vessels, but I want to touch him. Well, off to bed for me!
7/11/09- Justin was talking about kids this morning. I love when he talks about the future like that. He must know that the process is working, or he wouldn’t bring it up. He stopped talking about the future all together those last few months before he died. If he’s doing it now, he must know that he’s going to be able to come back.
It gives me butterflies. I had given up on the idea of having kids, but I guess he hasn’t. He kept talking about having a daughter, then a baby boy. He would be so great with a little girl. I can just see him walking around with her on his shoulders or sitting down and having a tea party. He’s such a man’s man, but I know it wouldn’t be anything like that with our daughter. I also can’t wait to see what he’s like with our son. I bet he’ll want to coach little league. We will definitely need to get a big house with a nice yard. Ben sold Justin’s house after he passed. I was hoping he would keep it, just because I didn’t want to let it go, but he stayed in his apartment. I would have thought he would have wanted to move out and into a house. He is definitely one of the most curious men I’ve ever met. I don’t understand half of what he does. He makes good money and he has the proceeds from Justin’s house. That definitely gives him enough money to get a house. I know that I wouldn’t want to have to pay rent every month if I could just live in a house.
Well, back to Justin... I’m glad to see him doing so well. He’s much stronger at this point than he’s been with any of the other vessels. He’s at the same level of control on the second day that he’s been reaching on day four before. I know it’s not going to be long now!
Since he was talking about kids, I thought I might try to look into some houses for sale in the area. I want to surprise him with one when his surgery is done and he’s released from the hospital. I know he likes my apartment, but I want to have a home for him. I’m pretty sure Ben stored some of his stuff, so I’ll see what I can do about getting that back. I know how much he loved his big chair. I don’t think Ben would have gotten rid of it. I’m going to have to wait until he’s back to ask him for it, though. It would be too risky to ask him before then. Well, it sounds like he’s up. I better get lunch ready for him. I want to see if it would be possible to take him outside without being at risk of the vessel taking control again and trying to get away. I know he wouldn’t be able to get far, but I don’t want to risk setting Justin back. He’s doing so well. I’ll talk to him about it and see what he thinks.
7/12/09- Yesterday was SO great! After lunch, I talked to Justin about my idea to take him outside. I reassured him that if the vessel regained control and attempted to escape that I would be right there with the injection, and I would keep him restrained after that. He told me that he felt strong, and that he didn’t think James would be able to take over. I was really hoping that’s what he would say. After we ate, I got him upstairs and into the wheelchair. We went out and sat on the porch until the sun went down. I forgot how much I loved watching sunsets with him. We talked a little, but we mostly just sat and enjoyed everything around us. I could tell he had a lot on him mind, so I didn’t push him. With the process nearing the end, I know he has to be a little nervous. At least he’s getting used to only having one leg. It will help to ease any fears he has about that. He still has to be pretty concerned about the actual process. It’s one thing to go into the body of one of the vessels... I can’t imagine how worried he must be about going into his body again. I don’t really want to push him on it. He’s never been one to share about what he’s feeling. Honestly, I hated that when we first started dating. I never knew where we stood. He kept telling me not to worry, because if he didn’t want to be with me, he wouldn’t be. That’s not really reassuring. Men really suck at communicating. They say that they’re so simple, but they really aren’t. In fact, they are some of the most confusing things in the world.
Anyway, I got off topic. We talked about having a family. He told me that he wants two girls and a boy. I told him that I thought Ben would make a pretty awesome uncle. He agreed and told me that he had been thinking about him a lot lately. He said that he thought it was time that we told him what we were doing. I said he wouldn’t understand, and he said that we would have to make him. He said that I should just go get him and bring him to the cabin. He said that he knows Ben won’t believe me if I just come out and tell him, but he said there’s no way he wouldn’t be able to refuse it when they were face to face. I was seriously considering it, but I don’t know. Justin knows Ben better than I do, but I still think it’s a risk. I know I could get him out here without a problem, but I’m not really setup to hold him if things go bad. And I know people will come looking for him. I just think we have more to lose than to gain at this point. I know Justin really wants to see him, but he’s just going to have to wait. It won’t be long. I just can’t take that risk right now.
7/14/09- Justin asked me to bring Ben to him again today. I hate saying no to him. Of course, I’ve always been like that. It’s even harder with everything he’s going through. He told me that I would need Ben’s help if I’m to get this done. I told him I would think about it. I went for a walk in the woods today to go over all of the possibilities. Emotionally, I know it’s what’s best for him. I still don’t think it’s the smartest thing, though. I’ll put more thought into it today while I’m at work. Maybe I can get a vibe from Ben about how he would take it. I have to be careful about how I approach it. We haven’t talked about Justin in months. I don’t want to raise any flags. I really don’t want to have to hold him until this is done. Anyone else I would dispose of. I can’t do that with Ben. Even more than him just being Justin’s brother, I need him around to take the heat if things should turn. Well, off to work.
7/15/09- Justin’s still pushing to see Ben. He’s almost got me convinced. Of course, that could be because he knows just the right things to do to get his way. He was sitting on his bed and reached out and took my hand. I was in the middle of a sentence when he did it, and it stopped me in my tracks. I know is a simple gesture, but I love holding hands. I love it when he takes my hand. It makes me feel so loved. It felt a little strange, probably because it was a vessel’s hand, but it made my heart leap in my chest. I can’t believe how good he’s doing. He’s never been so strong before. He’s been in control of the vessel for almost the entire time. I was about to take him back outside today, but I got called into work early. He was so disappointed.
The annoying thing was that there really w
asn’t any need for me to have to go in. The chief called everyone in for a big meeting about the case. He went on and on about how there was no excuse for us to be coming up on a year since the first “victim” was taken. Most of the people in the room looked down or motivated. I just thought it was hilarious. The only ill feelings I had from it were from being taken away from Justin. He was already asleep when I got back. I guess I don’t have much else to write. I have decided not to bring Ben here. It’s only going to be a couple days now, which might not be enough time to convince him. I might bring him out with the next one. I’m hoping that we will only need one or two more. With how good Justin is doing, I’m sure he will be strong enough by then.
7/16/09- Sadly, I didn’t get to spend much time with Justin today. The station was pretty busy, so I was stuck at work all day. My plan for the department is working. The town is starting to rebel. The word riot might not be too far from the truth. The news has been covering this vessel’s disappearance pretty heavily. I guess it’s because his wife was pregnant and had her baby the day I took him. No one is going out alone anymore, so there is a bit of a mob mentality going on. A woman got knocked down on the street and a group of guys walking by jumped the guy who did it. Then, of course, the guy’s friends jumped in and there was a brawl in the middle of the mall. There was a decent amount of property damage, and the first guy was beaten pretty badly. Ben and I had to process everything to determine who was responsible for what. I got to pull a boot print off of the guy’s face. It was pretty fun, actually.
Justin was already asleep by the time I made it back out here. Well, I’m in desperate need of a shower. I guess I should take one tonight instead of doing it tomorrow. I want to spend as much time with him as I can.
7/17/09- Today went okay. Justin left before lunch. I don’t know if it was the vessel that pushed him out or if he just didn’t want to be around for the end. The vessel knew what was coming. He pleaded with me as we went upstairs. I finally broke down and told him that he was doing so well that I planned on keeping him around. I told him that he is making Justin stronger and I needed him. He relaxed after that. I almost felt bad when I strangled him after we finished eating.
The truly shocking part was the call to the scene I got only hours after scattering his pieces. I almost dropped my phone when I got the call. At first I was worried that someone might have seen me leaving him there. I was shaking as I took a quick shower. I called Ben as I was climbing in the car to see if I could casually get any information out of him. He was already on the way to the scene, so I told him I was running a little behind and would be there soon. He seemed pretty casual, so I relaxed a bit. All he knew was an officer called it in and said they happened upon a body. They were having a little trouble getting to the scene, apparently they got lost, so I took my time. I didn’t want to beat them there and look like I knew where the scene was. That “officer” turned out to be the new detective. I guess she’s as good as everyone said. I kind of just kept to myself at the scene. I was still pretty panicked, and I didn’t want anyone to notice. It didn’t help when I discovered that a piece of trash bag got stuck in a jagged piece of bone. It wasn’t really a big deal, but I slipped up. I’m just hoping there isn’t a print on it. I left the office before Ben was finished processing it. Part of me wanted to stay, but I decided that it would be best if I was away from the station if they were able to identify me. I’ve been sitting here listening to the radio since I got home. I’m actually thinking about calling Ben to see if anything turned up. I’m sure it will just look like I’m anxious for the case to be over, but I’m worried he might look into it. He’s a man, though. They don’t tend to read into things the way that women do. I’m actually shaking right now. I’m freaked that they might find something to connect this to me. We are too close for things to get messed up now. We’ve put too much work into this for it all to fall apart at the end. How could I be so careless?! And how the hell did she find the dumpsite just hours after I left? It’s not like it was in an open area. She wasn’t even parked in the area. She had to hike to get there.
On another note, there was some electricity between her and Ben. He was actually nervous enough to the point that he was dropping things. It was funny. I’m going to have to probe him on it, assuming they don't find anything to connect me to the vessel. I don’t know if I’m going to sleep well tonight. At least I’m off tomorrow.
7/18/09- I saw that new detective walking across the street to the grocery store today. It was raining, and I really didn’t want to go out, but I knew it would be the best time to meet her. She’s actually really nice. We talked as we did our shopping and walked back to the building together. I guess I was actually surprised by how much I like her. I guess that’s why Ben was practically drooling all over himself at the scene yesterday. They would make a really cute couple. In fact, I bet they’re already seeing each other. I could definitely tell that Ben likes her. I haven’t ever seen him look at a woman like that before. I’m glad. He needs someone. I’ll try to get closer to her and see if she will spill. I also want to get to know her a little bit more so I can make sure she’s good enough for him. He only deserves the best!
7/20/09- I had a dream about Justin last night. He was back in his body and we walked into the station together. Everyone freaked when they saw him, in a good way, then apologized to both of us for causing him to have to go away last year. The chief quit on the spot, and so did Detective Wilcome. They also issued a press release stating that it was them to blame for the events over the last year. The people of Addison Valley were furious, and they ended up stringing them up in the large tree by the lake. I can’t say that I’ve ever been happier when I woke from a dream. Aside from being lynched, I imagine that’s just how it will go. It won’t be long now. He’s so strong that I think we will just need one more man.
7/24/09- Justin came to me again this morning, and I told him all about Rilynne. He’s so excited to meet her. It’s been so long since Ben was in an actual relationship. Justin’s so happy for him. They really are so cute together. Justin went on and on about how excited he is about meeting his future sister in law.
I can feel him getting stronger by the day. He’s almost back to full strength, even when there isn’t a vessel to hold him. I can feel him with me all the time now. I’m so excited to have him back. I can hardly contain myself. I want to take another vessel now, just so I can hold him, but I know I can’t.
I’m going out with Rilynne tonight. All she does is work, so I’m going to try to get her away from it for a little while. The last thing I need is for her to figure me out before the process is finished. I’m too close for that. I tried to get Ben to come out with us tonight, because I know that will really help to get her mind off the case. He said he had to work. Maybe he’ll show up later. I know Detective Wilcome has him working overtime on the case. Like there is anything for him to find!
Well, time to start getting ready. I’m determined to get Rilynne to admit she and Ben are together. Maybe if I get her drunk enough! We’ll see!
7/25/09- So I keep trying to set Rilynne up with different guys, because I want to see how long it will take her to tell me about her and Ben. I was talking to Justin about it again last night. He’s sad he can’t meet her right now. It’s hard on him being away from everything like this. He tries so hard to be strong for me, but I can see how sad he is. He spent an hour last night telling me how much he wanted to be home. He was so sweet.
It won’t be long now. As soon as he has the surgery, our lives will be back to normal.
7/26/09- I’ve decided to take Derek as the next vessel. He’s the guy who lives upstairs. Actually, he’s in the apartment directly above Rilynne. I need to keep her distracted. I think it’s the best way to do it. It will also be a good challenge to see which one of us is better. I already know I am, but I want to prove it to her. I don’t think she’s even close to catching on, but it would only take me slipping up once before the thought crossed her mi
nd. I need to make sure her mind is on something else. Besides, everyone will just assume his connection is to her instead of me. It no longer matters how close he is.
7/30/09- I talked to Ben about Rilynne today at work. He blushed when I brought her name up. It was pretty funny. I did get him to admit that he thinks she’s cute. He tried to be casual about it, but he’s like an open book. I know there’s something going on with them. After the look he got when I was talking to him about her, there is no doubt that there’s something there. Oh, I’m so excited! I’m glad he’s found someone who makes him light up like that. When this is all said and done, I’ll make sure that stupid rule is lifted and they will be able to be open about their relationship.