by Gigi Thorne
Swallowing, I pushed against his chest. “I need to get back.”
He turned me to face the mirror and I gasped as the zipper was ripped down so abruptly I was sure he’d torn my dress.
I struggled against him, but he pinned me to the sink and slowly lowered the straps of the thick Valentino. His eyes widened when he saw the purpled bite mark on my breast.
“Fina.” His voice shook with more emotion than I’d ever heard, and our eyes met, his swimming as I cast mine down.
“Look at me.”
“It looks so much worse than it feels.”
“He knows about our night in the garden.” With gentle fingers he lifted my chin so our eyes met in the mirror.
I nodded slightly. “He suspects, I denied it. I lied.”
“He watched us fuck in the field that day. I saw him when you were getting dressed. He was still a virgin. I wasn’t angry. We were like brothers. I chalked it up to curiosity, but I never thought it was jealousy. He knew just how much we loved–” Luke swallowed. “He knew. It doesn’t make any sense.”
I was teetering once again on truth and lies, I decided to give him a little truth. “He’s not at all who we thought he was.”
Luke pushed the dress over my hips and cursed as he saw the bruised fingerprints on my hips and between my thighs. “Jesus Christ. He’s forcing himself on you?”
“No,” I lied. “He says it’s time for an heir.”
He turned me in his arms. “You’re fucking him?”
It was either lie or watch him go on trial for attacking the King.
“I am. It’s his wish. He is my husband.”
“And you asked for these bruises?”
I swallowed again. “You said it yourself, he has tastes.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Believe it,” I hissed. “I am that woman.” I gave a spiteful smile I didn’t feel. “And now I’m queen.” I refastened my dress and fixed my lipstick. I had to finish it, finish us for Luke’s sake. And I knew he would never forgive me.
Luke took a step back, his eyes disbelieving. “You’re going to give him an heir?”
“Yes, I mean he is King,” I said ironically and added a laugh for good measure. No matter how terrible my acting skills were for Alex, I’d become convincing with Luke, because when it came down to it, I would walk through fire for him. Regardless if he deserved my love, my heart, my devotion, I would forever be a fool to save him.
“Don’t look so surprised, Luke. We’ve both changed into people we never thought we’d be. It’s time to accept that. You showed me that when you fucked me and left me bleeding in the garden exactly who you were.”
He opened his mouth to speak and I cut him off.
“And I’m nothing but the King’s whore now. A prize for his deceit and for going along with it. And you’ll be...” I turned and dusted his jacket off, my heart plummeting into depths it would never return from. “You’ll always be the man who taught me I liked to fuck… dirty.”
Luke’s eyes narrowed. “You’re lying.”
I knew exactly what to say.
“Deep down I always loved you both. And I think that’s what has been the hardest for me to admit.”
Luke caged me in, his voice deadly as his face paled. “What?”
“I remember watching him fence once and thinking I would love to compare the two of you, you know, in bed.”
His eyes turned black while he stared down at me. “And how do we compare?”
“Don’t get cavalier now, Luke. I’m the King’s whore, it would do you good to remember that.”
In an instant, his mouth crushed mine in a kiss that stole my soul. He fucked me with his tongue while he reached beneath my dress, pushing my knickers aside before thrusting two fingers inside of me. I yelped into his mouth, my whole body going lax against his outraged kiss. He pulled away from my mouth, using his soaked fingers to rim my arse before plunging them in. My eyes rolled back as his tongue trailed across my neck.
“Luke,” I said with a mock laugh. “I don’t have time to be your whore today.”
His fingers thrust harder as I clutched him to me in need, trying my best to seem indifferent.
“I say tit for tat, Queen.” He turned me to again face the mirror and unzipped his trousers. He took his time lubing me up with my soaked centre while he glared at me in the mirror. “Maybe we have changed, but I can see how much you need me.”
After fitting himself with a condom, he thrust another finger into my arse. Inside I was falling apart and as his cock nudged my tight hole, I let out a pained cry.
He rubbed my sides with his fingers, massaging my body as he slowly slid inside my forbidden.
Our eyes locked in the mirror, our jaws slack as we basked in the feel of it. “Do it,” I begged, my heart in need of the distraction of the pain. Luke thrust in fully and my whole body seized.
“Oh my God,” I whispered as I let my tears surface and fall. It was the perfect excuse to let him see the unbearable ache.
“I’m so glad he saved this part for me. Though I can’t say I’m surprised.” He pulled back and thrust in again while my heart hammered, and our eyes remained steadfast on the other.
“More, please, more,” I begged, my tears falling heavy as he pulled out and drove back in. “Luke,” I murmured, his movements gentle as his eyes tore me apart piece by piece. He looked at me as if I were the whore I claimed to be. He had no choice but to believe me. The alternative would have led to a far worse fate. He would have left that room and openly attacked a king. I was sure of it.
“You loved him all along?” He pressed a finger to my clit and in seconds, I was coming.
“Yesssss,” I lied as he pulled back and slammed back in. “And thanks to you, he’s claimed possession. Things are finally getting interesting for us.”
He bit his lip when he thrust in again, holding us together locked.
“Is there no end to your lies?”
“Believe it,” I goaded. “You’re fucking his wife. What makes you so much better?”
He pounded me then, taking and taking while my orgasm built and I began to quake in his hold. He rewarded me by slowly stroking my clit until I came so hard my legs gave out.
Watching me come only spurred him on, when he was close, I gave him my breathless request. “Fill me, Luke. Be with me the way we were when we were right. Please.”
Luke pulled out of me, ripped off the condom and flipped me on my back, painfully slamming me against the sink and mirror. He glared down at me with pure contempt. “We’ll never be right.” Without warning, he slammed into me, coming in hot spurts and I screamed out in pain. Sobbing, I pushed at his chest and clutched my abdomen. Horror marred his face as he took in my reaction and pulled me into his arms.
I slapped his face over and over and then began to beat at his chest while he sank to the floor with me in his lap. “Goddamn you,” I cried, sobbing in his arms. “I loved you both. He was my best friend and you were the only man... And now I hate you both.”
“I’m so sorry, Fina, I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. How bad did I hurt you?”
Sniffing, I ripped myself away and glared down at him “Don’t worry about it. Just a new scar to add to my collection.”
“I hurt you.”
I let out a sarcastic laugh. “He beat you to it. Trust me.” I wrapped my arms around myself. “This is caustic. And I won’t have it anymore. You were right to keep your distance. This was a huge mistake. Just stay away from me, please. Just… stay away.”
He stood, his eyes swirling with every emotion. “How can I know when you’re telling me the truth? I have no idea what to believe.”
I righted myself fixing my dress and he watched me while I carefully pulled it together before I turned to him.
“Here’s what you believe, because now I know I have to as well. It’s. All. Fucking. Over. We are over. I have to let you go now if I want any semblance of a life. I have to save myself. I am sorry
for the part I played, but I’m stuck here playing it for the rest of my life, and you’re free to be exactly who you want to be, and you’ve ruined yourself! So, I sacrificed my life, my happiness, for what? For a man I don’t know and the boy I loved who is lost forever. I love you no matter who you are, and that will always be the truth, but loving you won’t save me, and it certainly isn’t enough for you. I belong to him now through obligation of that love. No matter how foolish it was, it was a mistake to save a man whose only intent now is to ruin me. I’ll accept it. I’ll accept that I love my enemy because make no mistake now, Luke, you are just as bad as him. And I can’t let you punish me anymore or…”
“Fina,” he whispered his voice hoarse. “Or what?”
“It doesn’t matter. Goodbye, Luke.” I fled the bathroom and left my heart with him.
Ten
Sarafina
I made it back to my seat seconds before Alex sat next to me. I laughed ironically at our circumstances. Neither of us wanted the marriage we were stuck in. We were cursed and young and too bound to our roles to do anything about it. There was nothing in the world worse than losing your life to a lie.
Especially when you’d done nothing but tell the truth. That night in bed I prayed for my soul, but God granted me grace by making sure Alex left me alone.
Sometime in the middle of the night, his arm snaked around me. I tensed as he whispered in my ear. “I’m sorry. I’ll never force myself on you again. But I’ll never be a faithful husband. I’ll never be the man you love. I thought I could be the man you deserved, but I know better now that you can’t love anyone but that unworthy prick. You’ll never look at me the way you look at him and I don’t think I care anymore. But you will represent as my queen, or I’ll make your life a living hell. This union can be as peaceful or as horrible as you want it to be. The decision is yours.”
“I’ll never see him again if you give me your word on something.”
“I’m listening.”
“Leave him alone. Do not strip him of his title and do not call him to court. I will never be present when he is.”
“You have my word.”
“I’ll never love you. But I will be faithful. I need time to recover from what you did.”
“You have it.”
Mask in place, I turned to him with a carefully contrived emotion covered face. I had one last card to play before I resumed my role in the new abyss that was my life. A life without love, without hope, without Luke.
“Fina …” Alex’s eyes watered, and I knew then I had married a psychopath. “I do have love for you. I do.”
“I know. And I have love for you as well. I just need time.” I’d need eternity, but it was just another lie to keep the peace.
Eleven
Luke
Three months. Three months without a glance my way. I’ve made every effort to see her. I’d even commissioned a meet with her right hand, Olivia, who had turned down my every plea. I didn’t know what good seeing her again would do, but I had to know if she was okay. When I’d managed to corner her at an annual gala, Olivia had all but spit in my face.
“Just tell me if she’s okay.”
“She’s the Queen, she’s fine.”
“Olivia, please. Just tell me he’s not still hurting her.”
She swallowed as feral eyes met mine. “Then allow me to rephrase. As long as you aren’t in the picture, she’ll be fine.”
I took a drunken step back and I could see her judgment.
“Get yourself together, Luke, I assure you she has.”
Swallowing, I nodded. “Good, that’s good.”
“Find a tart to keep your appetite and settle down. I think you’ve both had enough, don’t you? Now if you’ll excuse me.”
She pushed past me, the picture of elegance and formality though I could feel her hatred.
“Will you tell her something for me?”
She turned to me with a grimace. “Depends on what it is.”
“Tell her, tell her I’m sorry I didn’t believe eternal. That I know what it means now.” She gave me a solemn nod and weeks had passed since then.
I hadn’t made a single move towards my goal. I’d done nothing. I had all the evidence I needed in the palm of my hand. All I had to do was turn it over to the right people. Mobile phone in hand, I played the clip of Alex fucking Garrison and my stomach rolled in utter disgust. Garrison was at least twenty years older and a far cry from the beauty that graced Alex’s bed each night. I had no clue what Alex saw in him past gaining the crown. Who knew how long it had been going on, but it all made sense. Garrison was the key player in my downfall. Alex had told him my secret over pillow talk and they’d plotted for my throne together. The only thing that didn’t add up was why Alex would take Sarafina away. Why wasn’t stealing the crown enough for him? What was his grudge against me? And why couldn’t I pull the trigger to end him? He’d hidden his sexuality so well up until the beginning of his rule and now the palace walls were laced with stories of his sexual escapades, not that it mattered. Those walls held endless secrets of infidelity over the years. Alex had no shame, but he had the crown and my girl, and for the first time in years, he had my fucking attention. I planned to leak the footage and then be done with it all. My initial strategy was to disgrace them both with different footage of me and the Queen in a compromising position, but her words had haunted me in the last few months. Truth be told, she’d been haunting me for years. Even in my most bitter of moments, inside my darkest thoughts and at the bottom of my bottle, I couldn’t bring myself to ruin her. I loved her the way I promised her, eternal.
“I sacrificed my life, my happiness.”
I’d sacrificed nothing for her.
I downed the last of my drink and took a look around my townhouse, it was completely destroyed. Remington hadn’t so much as called me to make sure I hadn’t run out of bubble bath. The bastard. The doorbell rang, and I ignored it as I stared up at the ceiling too lost in my thoughts.
“Just as I suspected. You look like hell.”
I’d never been happier to hear a voice in my life.
“Did you bring me more bubble bath?”
Remington looked around the townhome and let out a heavy sigh. “Have you no pride man?”
“Not as of late, no, as you seem to love reminding me.”
“Well, get up, it’s time to go.”
I sipped my scotch and sat up. “Go where?”
He took a seat on the chair next to me. “It’s time to give up, Luke. It’s time to go.”
“I’m not quite finished.”
“You’ve had that video for three weeks. You aren’t going to use it.”
Mouth gaping, I looked on at him. “How did you...” Realisation struck as I glanced up at the security camera. “You’ve been watching me?”
“I’ve been making sure you don’t drown in your own vomit. I’ll start packing.”
“I’m not leaving her.”
He turned to me with patient eyes. “We’re leaving.”
I waived a dismissive hand. “Clean up a bit, would you?”
“You haven’t entertained in months. You are still very much in your own head. I’ll pack your things.”
I followed him into my bedroom.
“And just where do you presume I will go?”
“Where you’ve planned on being with her.”
Pain wracked my chest at the idea of existing there without her. “You know too much.”
“I know just enough. Luke, it’s time.”
“You expect me to just let this go and take off with you?”
Remington paused and then made his way to the kitchen pulling out a fresh bottle of scotch before setting it on the counter in front of me. He walked over to the remote and turned on the TV. It took mere seconds to see the headlines. I uncapped the bottle and downed half of it. Once satisfied with my level of drunk, I followed Remington to the car without further objection and left London, for good.
> Twelve
Sarafina
A year and a half later…
I navigated the familiar roads easily through the heavy rain, my heart pounding in my ears. It had taken me hours to make what was supposed to be a short trip. It had taken every single ounce of my power to get there and I had no intentions of wasting a second of my short-lived freedom. I’d been the faithful wife I had promised Alex I would be, though it was unnecessary. He’d relieved me of those duties in lieu of keeping more of his secrets. It was amazing how much dirt you could dig up when you had nothing better to do with your time. I’d married a sordid man, but I’d always loved another.
We were both wrong. We were all wrong. But it was Alex’s greed and agenda that had the three of us living lives we never expected, so far from the life we dreamt of. No matter what reaction I got from Luke by showing up at his door, no matter how much time had passed, I wanted him to know that our separation hadn’t changed my love for him, despite pushing him away to draw strength. His need for wrath and revenge had twisted our love into something ugly and I refused to watch the rest of us unravel under Alex’s watchful eye. What we had, even so young had been something much more than infatuation and lust, it was bone-deep, timeless. Luke had never really fought for me, believing my betrayal. He’d given up because he had every reason to. I’d pulled myself together, gathering strength from the most unimaginable source, hope, a part of our future. And I needed to give him a reason to fight. My only hope was that he could forgive the space I put between us to become the woman I needed to be, to endure what I had to, and not just for myself, but for all involved. I reigned as queen, and I governed my life and my emotions far better than that of the woman who loved Luke with a sick and flailing heart. His desire to punish me weakened me. I could no longer bear it. But what Luke had forgotten was that before Alex had wrecked our lives, he was the noblest of men. Even from the beginning, he put it on himself to protect me. Even when we were young and I hadn’t quite found my voice, he spoke for me.