The Wedding Date

by Zara Stoneley

  ‘Oh.’

  ‘It was like a consolation prize. He just wanted us to go on a package tour once a year, he didn’t want me to do three-week trips away, like Jess and I had planned. He said it was selfish.’

  ‘You’re not selfish.’

  ‘I’m going to write a new list when I get back. I’ve been thinking of doing one of those charity things abroad where you raise money, you know volunteering, for a month or two.’

  ‘Sounds good.’

  ‘I could teach English, and tell them all about other countries. Or—’ this is all getting a bit serious ‘—teach dance?’

  He manages to keep a straight face. ‘You certainly could.’ We both gaze at the expanse of lawn. Both thinking about our dreams. ‘Ready for bed?’

  We walk up to the room hand in hand, and it just seems natural to get into bed and curl up with him wrapped round me. But there is no monkey business, and when I wake up the cushions are back in place, and he’s in the bathroom. Singing in the shower. Loudly.

  It sounds vaguely familiar, so I get out of bed and go to listen in.

  He’s singing ‘You can get it if you really want’, so I peer round the door to see him swaying away like a true reggae dancer as the water pounds down. It’s funny rather than erotic, even though he is butt naked, and the butt in question (and thighs) are as well toned as any real man can be.

  I can’t help myself, I start to boogie around the bedroom. And when he joins me, wrapped only in a towel, it is the best start to a day ever.

  Chapter 19

  ‘Oh my goodness, this one will suit you down to the ground Samantha, you’ll be good at this.’ Mum says it as though I’m not good at anything, and this is my big chance. ‘You used to have a bow and arrow, didn’t you, darling? You were rather good with it, wasn’t she David? Hit anything and everything.’

  ‘I was six, Mum. The arrows had rubber plunger things on the end and stuck to things.’

  We are all assembled on a very large lawn, and there is a row of big targets and a rack of bows and arrows. Today is archery day. There are also two archers (who don’t look like archers – they look like the groundsmen I saw sweeping up the gravel earlier), who are there to hand out equipment and instruct us.

  It has been decided that the men will shoot first, so Jake is lined up next to Liam, with Dan the other side, and John and Dad further along. They are all steely-faced, but pretending to joke, in the way men do. All joviality, with a background of pure male competitiveness. You can almost smell the testosterone.

  Dan goes first, and is totally rubbish, but Jess tells him he’s fabulous and must have a duff bow or a blunt arrow. I don’t think he really cares though, being bad is just an excuse to have a commiserating kiss from Jess and gives her dad the chance to show off. John has done this before (which I reckon is why we’re all doing it) and he walks up in a very business-like manner, hustles the archer (who is supposed to be helping us) out of the way, and narrows his eyes as though he thinks he’s James Bond with a sniper rifle. To be fair, he does look quite professional as he pulls the string-bit back and shoots, and his first arrow hits just outside the bulls eye. Juliet screeches with admiration, and there’s a scattering of applause.

  Next up is Liam. Liam preens and poses, and messes around, altering his stance and limbering up in a very strange way. Stella hovers behind him. And Ruby is on his other side – shooting looks of adoration at Liam, and contempt at Stella.

  ‘That man just said you have to keep your elbow level.’ Liam ignores Stella. ‘It’s up in the air.’ When he finally decides to go for it, the first arrow falls to the ground at his feet with a plop. Jake and Dan (who are getting on quite well after their sleepover) heckle and the rest of us pretend we haven’t noticed.

  ‘I told you.’ Stella says it so loudly that everybody stops their chattering and stares. Liam turns a funny puce colour, and Stella folds her arms, resting them on top of her bump. ‘You never listen to a bloody word, do you? Won’t be told, you always think you know it all.’

  ‘Well I’m not surprised he doesn’t listen to you, all you do is nag.’ Ruby rolls her eyes in a very exaggerated manner. ‘How can he concentrate with that racket? Go on, Liam, have another go.’

  The archer quietly hands over a second arrow, and this one nearly hits the target. John claps him so hard on the back he nearly falls over, and tells him to put some welly behind it. I actually feel a (little) bit sorry for him.

  Ruby tuts exceedingly loudly, mutters something that sounds like ‘crap’ and edges up the line to admire somebody more capable. Jake.

  Jake is much better. He looks like he was born to hold a bow and arrow, and does it effortlessly. I think he must have been Robin Hood in a previous life, or maybe in a previous acting role. He turns and winks at me, in a very sexy way that makes me feel a bit hot and bothered, then turns back to the target and shoots as casually as they do in the movies. There is a brief silence, then applause and a few whoops. One of them from me. He has hit the target right in the centre!

  I can’t help myself, I leap on him and kiss him, and bask in shared glory.

  And then it is my turn.

  Now I do not like to boast, but it turns out that my mother was right. I can do this. I think it helps that Jake is stood right beside me once the instructor has gone, and lifts my elbow a little bit, and quietly suggests how I change the way I’m standing a little bit (he does hold my hips and is so close I feel like we’re about to samba or do some other dirty dancing routine), but my first arrow hits the target! In the centre!

  ‘Bloody hell!’ I spin round, give him a smacker, then turn back to check I haven’t imagined it. ‘Look! I’ve done it! I’ve done it!’

  ‘Su-perb.’ Jake high fives me and sounds so proud I could burst, then he’s swung me off my feet, and is kissing me as we spin round. ‘You’re a natural.’

  ‘Beginner’s luck.’ We all stop and stare at Ruby.

  ‘Now, now Ruby.’ John, who has just been patting me on the back, stares at his daughter, who slopes off muttering.

  Once I’ve stopped feeling dizzy I have another go, and do it again! He’s right. I am a natural. It is not beginner’s luck.

  ‘Hold the bow thing, Samantha, hold the bow, smile. Properly.’ Mum has her camera in her hand and is nearly as excited as I am. ‘And you in the picture, Jake!’

  ‘Chip off the old block.’ My father, who hit the target, but not quite as well as I did, is beaming. I am a success! Today is going to be the best day ever.

  It is Ruby’s turn next, and she is nowhere near as good as me. And she’s swearing about a broken nail, but has suddenly realised we’re all watching.

  She thrusts the instructor out of the way, sticks her chest out and marches over. ‘Jakey, Jakey, come and help me.’ Ruby is tugging at Jake’s arm, and simpering. ‘You’re so good at this, much better than this man.’ She waves a dismissive hand.

  Liam looks furious, and Stella is sulking. The rest of the men rush in, determined to help their own partners, so that Jake doesn’t get all the limelight, and I have to admit the session does turn a bit chaotic. The archery men are rushing round shouting about health and safety, as everybody grabs bows and clamours for Jake’s attention, waving sharp arrows in a way that could take an eye out.

  Ruby is shouting for him to ‘get closer’ and Dan is sneakily trying to move Jake’s target further away. Then he helps Mum and Juliet, who both demand that he position them exactly how he wants them, which leaves Jess and me on the floor laughing so much we’re crying.

  ‘He is so naughty.’ Jess wipes her eyes.

  Liam, who is behind us, tuts loudly. ‘Childish.’ The word is a mutter, but me and Jess both hear him. Jess rolls her eyes.

  ‘It’s called fun, Liam.’ I try not to sound snooty, but I can’t believe him.

  He ignores me, and gestures at Stella. ‘Ready to go?’

  That would have been me a while ago, being herded away from the fun by him.

 
‘Hey, look at your mum.’ Jess is nudging me.

  ‘Now what did I tell you Ruth?’ Jake currently has his hand under Mum’s chin. ‘Head up, you’ve got such a wonderful jawline, you need to show it off.’ She starts to giggle, which makes her drop her arrow. ‘Bottom in Juliet, or would you like me to help?’ I haven’t actually seen either of them manage to shoot yet, but it doesn’t seem to matter.

  I offer to show them the stance, because I don’t think Jake is trying hard enough, and before you know it we’re pretending to hula hoop (essential to loosen our hips), Jess has joined in with some squats, and then we’ve got them on the mark ready to go. Although I’m sure Mum thinks she’s Cupid, she’s more likely to hit the tree on the horizon than the actual target.

  Dad manages to get a brilliant picture of Mum accidentally hooking her skirt up (Mother thinks Scotland demands tweed skirts, not trousers) with the bow and showing her knickers, and a video of Juliet looking like she is twerking, which Jake told her is the best way to work out where her hips should be.

  By the time we’ve finished I’m exhausted, all the laughing and exhilaration is pretty damned tiring. But it has been a good day. Jake helps them pack the equipment away and then draws me into his arms.

  ‘You were brilliant.’

  ‘You weren’t so bad yourself.’ There’s a bit of a pause when he’s gazing into my eyes and I’m wondering if I should kiss him. ‘It’s nice to see you so happy, you seem to have got your bounce back.’

  I grin. ‘I think maybe I have. It’s been good.’ And it wasn’t just today. Since we got here every day seems to have been better than the last, and I know it’s because Jake is here. If I was to have a boyfriend, Jake is the type of man I’d want. I know that now. I also know I can’t have him, but I’m not going to settle for any less.

  He tucks a lock of hair behind my ear. ‘You know the sexiest thing in a woman?’ I shake my head. I’m guessing that being Jake he isn’t going to say big boobs, long legs or even a nice smile. But I’m not sure what he is going to say. ‘Self-confidence. And I’ll tell you for nothing, you are out and out sexy, Samantha.’

  I quite like the sound of that. Out and out sexy.

  I also quite like the light kiss he plants on the tip of my nose, and the way he casually slips his hand into mine.

  Chapter 20

  Jake has not tried to kiss me properly again. Which is good. Honestly. We had an evening of posh dinner and drinks in the bar, at which he behaved like a doting husband rather than passionate lover. Which I have to say was rather disappointing after our fantastic day.

  He then kept completely to his side of the bed. I swear at one point he actually puffed up the pillow barricade between us so it was even higher. As a result I didn’t get a wink of sleep all night because I was wondering what I should do if he made a move.

  But this is good, he is being a gentleman and sticking to the rules. Or he just doesn’t fancy me. But he did say I was sexy. Bloody rules, why did I have to invent rules? It isn’t like I ended up with a proper list of them, I seemed to stop after the no sex or flirting with other guests bit.

  The only rule he has mentioned of his own though seems to be the no-relationship one. I am seriously tempted to say we can stick with his rule, but abandon mine. For the sake of authenticity. Although everybody does seem to think we are a proper couple. Bugger.

  Anyway, I am determined not to let this lack of rumpy-pumpy (as my mother would say) spoil the week. Now I have had my epiphany and realise that I have been guilty of trying to become the woman Liam wanted rather than the real me, I am no longer heading down the cul-de-sac of middle age, and I can do a U-turn.

  Only weak men need a woman who will excuse who she is. Strong men like Jake find strong, confident women sexy. I no longer care about trying to lose a couple more pounds from around my middle before the wedding day (although it will be a bummer if they can’t do the dress up), because as Jake said before, I am the right size for me.

  I do not need to please anybody else, or make any apologies, I am free to be who I want to be, and not compromise. Apart from horse-riding of course, but I am prepared to compromise for Jess. This is her wedding week.

  ‘You look tired, dear.’ Mother is watching me over the top of her boiled egg.

  ‘Nothing wrong with that Ruth, remember the days when we looked like that in the morning, eh?’ Dad winks at her.

  There’s a muffled giggle. Jess is sitting at the next table with Dan, and gives me the thumbs up. Maybe Jake was right. Maybe I shouldn’t have told her anything at all. This is already getting far too confusing. Mum and Dad think we’ve been together long enough to be at it like rabbits, and Jess thinks we’ve only just met and I’m crossing my legs until I’m sure he’s the one.

  ‘Oh David, stop it.’ Mum slaps his hand. ‘You’re drawing attention to yourself. Men your age can be such an embarrassment.’ She’s tapping the top of the egg gently with the back of her spoon. ‘Now I’m the last person to be racist—’ she’s not ‘—but these Scottish people are totally different to us, what on earth do they feed the hens up here? This egg shell is as hard as nails.’

  ‘Something hearty to keep them warm in the winter, darling.’ Dad is tucking into his full breakfast with relish. ‘And plenty of oats.’ He really is on form, the highland air must be affecting his brain.

  ‘Rubbish.’ And with that she gives it an almighty smack with her knife and the top of the egg flies off and lands neatly on the next table. Jess giggles louder, but before she can reach it, Harry is there. On the table.

  He looks quite comical and totally astonished, but not as astonished as the rest of us. Jake makes a dive for him, knocking his chair over, but Harry is quicker. He’s grabbed the top of the egg, and a mouthful of pristine white tablecloth with it and he’s off. His head held high with his trophy, his tail proudly in the air as he hurtles across the room, tablecloth trailing behind. There’s a spectacular crash, and Jess’s granola is scattered across the polished floorboards, along with a pot of coffee, an egg, two sausages, two rashers of bacon, black pudding and some amazingly red tomatoes.

  ‘Come here, you horror.’ Jake puts a foot on the cloth, and for a second there’s a growl tug of war, then the dog spots the trail of food. Have you ever seen a dog hoover up the full works while hurtling along at top speed with somebody chasing them?

  Harry gets to the tomato and spits it out, before veering off under a table after a rolling sausage with Jake closing in. Until he steps on the tomato.

  ‘Oh hell.’ And it’s a sliding tackle, worthy of any rugby player as he follows the dog on his bum.

  We all duck down to see what’s happening.

  Harry is in shock. He’s not sure if this is a new game, or an assault.

  He is sitting stock still under the table, the sausage dangling from his mouth. ‘Got you.’ Jake grabs his collar, and Harry gobbles down the sausage as fast as he can, and starts to choke.

  ‘More coffee, Sir?’ The waiter is stood over him, coffee pot in hand, on the only clean patch of floor.

  ‘A strong one please.’ He pats Harry hard on the back.

  ‘I don’t think I’d carry on doing that.’ Even I can see that he’s starting to heave like he’s going to deposit his breakfast on the floor.

  ‘Oh yeah, right.’ Jake finally twigs and scooping him up makes a run for the door.

  ‘Oh God, Sam.’ Jess has relocated to a new table, and Dan has gone off in search of a new breakfast. She’s wiping the tears of laughter away with the back of her hand. ‘He’s such a hoot, and so gorgeous, how can you not have shagged him yet? How can you keep your hands off him?’ I’d told her this was a very new relationship, that we hadn’t actually done it yet. That I didn’t want to accidentally get carried away. ‘If I was you I’d want to keep him at home, you’re going to miss him so much next week when he goes off filming.’

  I don’t really want to think about next week.

  I definitely am not going to admit to J
ess that I have been tempted to have an all-round pants off session, but he doesn’t think the same. It is getting quite frustrating that he is determined to keep to my no sex rule.

  ‘What are you two in a huddle about?’ Dan has returned with a new plate of food, and saved my bacon as it were.

  ‘Oh crumbs, is that the time?’ I don’t know why I revert to saying the same type of things as my mother in times of crisis. ‘Must rush and check where Jake is.’

  ‘Can’t spend a second apart, you two, can you?’ Jess’s uncle Bert has crept up unnoticed, and slapped my arse. I’d like to slap his face, but I’m not sure it would go down well. ‘More’s the pity. You’d make an old man very happy if you’d spend—’

  ‘Oh put the poor girl down Bert, you’ll give yourself indigestion gallivanting about before your breakfast has gone down. And I’ve not got any tablets left, you know.’ Aunt Edna tuts and shakes her head. ‘Has anybody got any marmalade? I do like that thick cut, very tasty. Tart. I had it yesterday.’ She wanders off in search of marmalade.

  Jess is trying not to laugh again, I can tell, even though she’s got her sympathetic best friend face on. ‘I don’t blame you, he’s such a hunk. If I didn’t have Dan I’d be following him round with my tongue out.’

  Dan laughs. He’s used to her. And she does blow him a kiss as she says it.

  ‘Oh well, yes, er, and I need to get changed. What does one wear for, er, shooting?’

  ‘Plus fours, love.’ Bert hasn’t gone away. This time he wraps an arm round my waist and squeezes, his fingers creeping ever nearer my boob. I’m working out how to knee him in the groin in a way nobody else will notice when he’s given a hearty pat on the back and nearly lands headfirst in Dan’s new breakfast.

  Dan grabs the plate out of harm’s way surprisingly quickly. Talk about jumpy.

  ‘I’ve heard you’re shooting blanks, old man.’ Jake’s best acting voice booms out, his hand on Bert’s shoulder and the man turns the colour of the tomatoes.