Out of Shadows

by N. J. Walters

  Out of Shadows

  Pain tore through her, worse than when she was fighting the demon. She caught her breath and held it in, not wanting him to see how deeply she was hurting. Hadeon might not know it, but when he left, he’d be taking a part of her. Her heart would always belong to him.

  She stared at him, wanting to absorb every last detail about him before he faded into the shadows, leaving her for good. She frowned as she noticed the deep lines at the corner of his eyes, the tense set of his shoulders, the way his hands fisted at his sides. His mouth was pulled tight with pain.

  “Are you fully healed?” Maybe his injuries were still hurting him.

  “I’m as healed as I ever will be. The scars are permanent.”

  She ached for him, wishing things could have been different. “I’m sorry for that.”

  His lips pressed together in a thin line and a muscle twitched in his jaw. “You have nothing to feel sorry for. You saved yourself from the demon.”

  “I could never have done it without you. I felt you in my mind, sharing your energy, encouraging me.” She’d given that night a lot of thought and was convinced it was Hadeon’s extra power that he’d so generously given her that had enabled her to defeat the demon and, ultimately, the horseman.

  “The Shadow Lord has sent me here with an offer. Now that there is no longer any threat to you, he can erase your memories. Your life can go back to the way it was.”

  Her stomach twisted. Lose her memories of Hadeon. Her heart cried out and she took a step away from him. His jaw tightened and the new scars on his face turned white.

  “What do you want?” She had to know.

  Hadeon shrugged his stiff shoulders. “It matters not what I want. You are all that is important. You can have your life back.”

  The fist of pain inside her loosened slightly. She was all that was important. That meant he felt something for her. Didn’t it?

  “Isn’t that dangerous, though.” Her nimble mind started picking holes in the idea.

  “After all, if one former Shadow Ryder found me, another one could.”

  “The possibility is slim, but does exist,” he agreed.

  “Well then.”

  One corner of Hadeon’s mouth kicked up slightly. It wasn’t really a smile, but it loosened some of the darkness surrounding him. “You don’t need to worry about that. The Shadow Lord has assigned a Ryder to keep watch over you.”

  Hadeon. She knew it as surely as she was standing her. He was the one who would be watching over her. Why? Why was he doing this? Duty and honor, certainly, but was there more to it than that?

  This stubborn man had proven over and over that he was honorable, no matter what he said about his past. Redemption. That’s what he said the Shadow Lord offered him while he lay dying. A chance at justice and redemption. Hadeon was trying to do 89

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  the right thing—to erase the nasty memories of the horseman and the demon, and give her life back to her. But that meant she’d have to give up all memories of him too. That just wasn’t acceptable. She’d rather feel the pain of losing him than to erase the memories of their time together.

  She stared closely at him, the set of his shoulders, the way he refused to look her in the eye. He cared about her. She was certain of it.

  Dovina prayed she was right or she was about to make a complete idiot out of herself. On the upside, if the Shadow Lord ended up wiping out her memories, she wouldn’t remember what she was about to do.

  She took a deep fortifying breath. “There is another option. I could join with you, anchor you from the darkness. With my light joined to you, I’d no longer be a target for rogue Shadow Ryders or demons.”

  Having stated her case, she began to pull off her clothing. She kicked off her shoes and shimmied out of her jeans, tugging off her socks in the process. Her sweater was next, leaving her clad only in a pale green lacy bra and matching panties. Brazening it out, she cocked her eyebrow at him and waited. The room was warm, but a chill snaked down her spine. She felt more naked than if she were wearing nothing. But she didn’t care. She was fighting for them, for the love she felt for him. He would have to walk away from her if he didn’t want her. She’d laid her proposal on the table. Now it was up to him to reject it or accept it.

  Hadeon almost swallowed his tongue when Dovina made her generous offer and then proceeded to strip off most of her clothing. Her pale skin was luminous, her lips lush and inviting. Her nipples puckered, pressing against the silky fabric of her bra. Arousal or cold, he couldn’t be certain.

  She was offering him everything. Everything. A chance to be anchored away from the darkness forever, the chance that he might eventually be able to be out in early morning or late evening light. For that alone, he owed her more than he could ever repay.

  But she was offering more than that. He could see it in her eyes. She cared about him. He’d failed her, almost allowed the demon to destroy her and still she was willing to sacrifice herself to help him.

  He wasn’t worthy.

  He’d stayed in the Shadow Realm longer than he’d needed, only leaving when ordered by his Lord. He, fearless warrior and scourge of the steppes of Europe, was afraid to face one small woman. He’d failed her. In the end, she’d saved herself from the demon and the horseman.

  He should leave and return to the shadows. He belonged in the darkness, not in the presence of her glorious light. But he was weak. He wanted to stay with her for eternity, guarding her from any who would seek to harm her.

  But his duty was to his fellow Shadow Ryders. There were too many lost and many on the cusp. He needed to go back to help them. For too long, they’d been solitary. 90

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  Alone. That allowed creatures like the dream demon to lure them to the Otherworld, where they were lost forever.

  “Hadeon?” She wrapped her arms around her waist and gave a small laugh.

  “Guess that means you don’t want me.”

  Her pain became his. He should walk away. That was the honorable thing to do. But he could not make himself take one single step. He could not allow her to think he did not want her.

  When he did finally move, it was toward her. Her lips trembled as she smiled at him. That tiny gesture broke him. Hadeon fell to his knees in front of her, lowered his head and bared his soul.

  “I am not worthy of you. I failed to save you from the demon.”

  Her fingers stroked lightly through his hair. He jerked his head up and she looked at him with some deep emotion shining from her eyes. He would not even begin to hope it was love.

  “You were busy with the horseman. And, as I told you before, you did help me. When you could have escaped the dream to save yourself, you stayed, putting your life on the line for me.”

  Dovina shifted closer, bringing her breasts closer to his face. Hadeon was immediately distracted by the smooth curves and the taut nipples. Her scent wafted around him, a combination of lavender and aroused woman. His cock stirred, quickly coming to life.

  “I know you probably don’t want to join yourself to me for eternity.”

  That statement jerked his attention away from her lush breasts and back to her face. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

  She gave a self-conscious shrug. “That’s okay. I still want to help you, though. You wouldn’t have to stay with me if you didn’t want to. I know you’ve got duties for the Shadow Lord and…” She waved her hand in the air. “Other stuff.”

  Hadeon wrapped his arms around her and buried his face against her warm stomach. “I do not deserve you,” he whispered. But he would. He would do everything in his power to someday be worthy of this incredible woman. She tangled her fingers in his hair and tugged until he was looking up at her. “I’m going to say something. Not because I expect anything from you, but because it’s true. And, if I make a total idiot out of myself, I won’t remember it anyway.” She gave him a lopsided smile, but he could see the nervousness, the fear lurking
in her gray eyes.

  “You can tell me anything.”

  She squared her shoulders and took a deep breath. “I love you.”

  Hadeon couldn’t have been more stunned if she’d hit him upside his head with the flat of his sword. She loved him. Hadeon had done many things in his life he wasn’t proud of. He’d sold his sword to the highest bidder, killing men who were not his enemies. He’d amassed great wealth, but had left no family, no legacy, no friends when 91

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  he’d died, alone and unmourned. He’d spent more than two thousand years trying to atone for those actions.

  Redemption. That was what the Shadow Lord had offered him. Maybe Dovina was his shot at redemption? If she loved him, he must be doing something right. If he was anchored by her light, it would add to the light of the Shadow Realm. He could go back there and help the Shadow Lord pull other Ryders from their apathy and despair. He and Dovina could search the world for other special women who might be able to anchor his fellow warriors to the light. He could also perform his duties for the Shadow Lord, protecting the innocent from evil. All he had to do was reach out and take what Dovina offered.

  “Umm, say something.”

  He pulled himself back from his thoughts, decision made. He stood and scooped Dovina off her feet. Her arms went around his neck and she clung to him as he laid her on the bed, following her down.

  He cupped her face with his hands, memorizing every precious line and curve. “I am not worthy of your love.” He placed two fingers over her lips when she started to speak. “Shh. I am right. I am not worthy,” he repeated. “But I will be. No man will ever love you as I do. I have no idea what our lives will hold from this day forward. There is so much work to be done.”

  “You love me?” Her voice was barely a whisper and a single tear slipped from the corner of her eye. “You mean it?”

  He swiped the wetness away with his thumb and caught the next tear that fell.

  “You cannot know how much I love you.” There was nothing he wouldn’t do to protect her and keep her safe. A sense of fierceness, of belonging swelled within him. Dovina was what he’d longed for his whole life. A sense of home, of place.

  “Then let me anchor you. Make love to me.”

  And it was love. The sex between them had always been mind-blowing. He knew now the reason was because of what he’d felt for her. He hadn’t labeled it love, but from the moment he’d laid eyes on her, he’d known Dovina belonged to him. He sat up and cupped her breasts, rubbing his thumbs over the soft fabric. He traced the lacy trim that followed her lush curves. “Let’s get this off.” He twisted the front hook and gave a deep moan of appreciation as the fabric pulled back, revealing her lush breasts. He’d thought he’d never see her like this again. Her hands tugged at the hem of his T-shirt, pulling it away from the waistband of his leather pants. He paused, savoring the sensation of her hands on his chest, her fingers teasing his flat nipples and stroking the horse tattoo. A shiver raced down his spine and his balls clenched tight.

  There was no time to waste.

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  He surged off the bed and ripped open the zipper of his pants. Dovina didn’t take her eyes off him as he yanked off his boots and pulled off the rest of his clothing. His cock jutted forward, long and thick and ready to claim her. She licked her lips and smiled, a siren’s promise.

  He swore under his breath and slipped his fingers under the band of her panties, dragging them over her thighs and whisking them away. While he was doing that, she shrugged out of her bra and tossed it aside.

  He came down on top of her, supporting most of his weight on his forearms. He made a place for himself between her legs, his body cushioned by her ample hips. The hairs on his thighs brushed against her smooth ones. His cock nestled against her belly, her nipples teased the skin on his chest.

  Leaning down, Hadeon touched his lips to hers. She made a whimper of pleasure and tangled her fingers in his hair, pulling him closer. Hadeon took what she offered, plunging his tongue into the moist cavern of her mouth. Tasting, teasing, plundering. He couldn’t get enough of her. She tasted sweet and welcoming. But there was such strength in her. It was almost frightening how much power she carried in her small body. She had courage enough to rival most men. The way she’d fought the demon would give him nightmares the rest of his life.

  But now, there was only Dovina, warm and open and giving beneath him. He prolonged the kiss, shifting his chest from side to side to tease her nipples. Finally, she’d had enough. She tore her mouth from his and cried out his name.

  “More. I need more,” she gasped.

  He traced the delicate whorls of her ear before nipping at the lobe. She shivered and dug her fingernails into his ass. He arched up, driving his cock downward. Dovina squirmed around until his hard length was pressed against the slick folds of her pussy. He growled as he flexed his hips, rubbing his shaft over her swollen clit, drawing a moan from her sweet lips. He worked his way down her neck, alternating between soft kisses and hard nips, some of which would probably leave a mark. He wanted to mark her, brand her as his.

  Her breasts beckoned to him as he continued his downward journey. He cupped the mounds in his hands and lapped at a tight, pink nipple. The tip was red as a berry and just as tasty. He worked from one breast to the other and back again. Dovina clutched at his shoulders, his back, his butt. Whatever she could reach. She rubbed her toes against his calves, lifting her hips and rubbing her sex against his erection.

  Hadeon sat back on his haunches. His hands followed the slope of her breasts over her torso and into the dip of her waist before flaring out over her hips. He adored her curves, the slight rise of her belly.

  She was breathing hard now. Her lips parted, her breasts swaying. He tucked his hands beneath her bottom and lifted, bringing her lush, wet pussy to his mouth. 93

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  “Mine.” He didn’t wait for her agreement. Instead, he laid claim to her. He sucked and licked at her swollen folds, his tongue lapping at each one. Her clit was peeking out from beneath its protective hood. He gently tongued it before drawing on it with his mouth. She cried out and tried to hook her legs around his shoulders, pulling him closer.

  He breathed in her spicy essence, tasted it as he slid his tongue into her cleft. He wanted to bring her to orgasm like this, but now was not the time. They needed to build the power within both of them.

  Hadeon allowed himself one final taste before he untangled their bodies and lay flat on the bed, lifting her over him. His fingers dug into her sides as he gave her one last chance to walk away from what would be a long life filled with potential danger and return to her normal life. “You’re sure you want to do this?”

  Dovina was surprised her body hadn’t spontaneously combusted. Heat surrounded her, filled her. Hadeon had driven her to the point of madness and then stopped. Once again he was being honorable. She loved him for that even as she wanted to smack him silly for leaving her aching and trembling for release.

  In answer to his question, she raised herself over him, gripped his cock in her hand and guided him into her. His cock head was already wet and slid in easily, stretching her entrance. She waited for him to push the rest of the way in, but he shook his head.

  “You have to do it. This is your choice, your decision.”

  His eyes weren’t cold anymore. Who knew that black could be so warm, so tender?

  His skin was slick with perspiration, the muscles in his chest and shoulders taut. His fingers flexed almost imperceptibly on her hips. Other than that, he was as still as stone. Dovina smiled at him. “I love you.” She made her declaration as she lowered herself onto his cock. It pushed inward, stretching her inner muscles as they shifted to accommodate his thick length.

  She loved being connected to him like this, feeling him fill her.

  “Take all of me,” he whispered, his voice hoarse.

  She lifted up slightly and came do
wn harder. Felt him go even deeper. Placing her hands on his abs, she squirmed until his cock was buried as far as it could go. All of him was inside her. They were joined as close as a man and woman could get. Hadeon lifted one of her hands off his stomach, bringing it to his lips. He kissed each knuckle and finally her palm before placing it against his heart. Then he raised his hand and placed it over her heart.

  She could feel the heavy, solid thud against her hand, feel the heat of his body soaking into her palm. Her heartbeat slowed, synchronizing with his.

  “Move, Dovina.” A bead of sweat rolled down his temple. She could see he was hurting.

  There was a sense of anticipation in the air as she began to lift and fall on his cock. Her pussy was slick. Heat built up inside and outside. Their heart rates sped up, still in 94

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  sync. She could feel the rough hair of his body against her inner thighs, hear the damp sucking sound of their bodies as she rose and fell on top of him. His cock forged inward each time she lowered herself, filling her to overflowing. Every cell in her body seemed to quiver. Her limbs trembled. She wanted to close her eyes, but couldn’t take her gaze from Hadeon’s dark eyes. He was drawing her in.

  “Finish it,” he gritted out.

  The muscles of her cunt squeezed his cock involuntarily. They both cried out. Dovina could feel his shaft swelling, growing even larger. There was a hot surge and she knew he was coming. The light within her swelled and seem to explode outward, encompassing them both.

  Hadeon’s darkness fell over her like a net, capturing her and holding her. If it had been anyone but Hadeon, she would have panicked and pulled away. There was absolutely no light to be seen. Dovina was blind. But she could still feel. Hadeon’s hands were wrapped securely around her waist, his cock was hard inside her as he jerked and filled her with his seed. A blast of heat shot through her as he angled her slightly, allowing her clit to rub against him. Dovina forgot about the darkness and the light as she came, giving herself over to Hadeon, knowing he would keep her safe. She trusted him. She loved him. Hadeon thought his eyelids had been singed, blinding him. Dovina’s light washed over him like a wave. It filled him, surrounded him. Unlike the last time, it didn’t burn his skin. Instead it felt warm. Welcoming.