by MP Frank
“And that wouldn’t bother you?”
“Eric has a permanent bruise on his arm, from where I punch him whenever I catch him eyeing up pretty women,” Maya said. “But no, it wouldn’t bother me at all if he saw you stripped off. The only problem would be that if he caught sight of you half-dressed, he’d be pestering me to do the same, and I don’t have your confidence.”
“Don’t be deceived, Maya, every time I exhibit my naked body, I’m terrified. But the turn-on defeats the terror every time.”
“You’re so sincere about it, Gaëlle. You almost persuade me, “Maya said, then added hurriedly, “…but don’t get ideas, it’s only almost! I don’t see myself giving in to Eric, however persuasive he tries to be.”
“I can understand why he’d want to encourage you,” Gaëlle said. “Your body is at least as good as mine when you’re stripped. I can appreciate what a turn on it would be for Eric to see you exposed in public. That isn’t a suggestion, just a fact.”
“Well, it’s not going to happen.” Maya said firmly. “But thank you for the compliment, anyway.” She started to stand up. “I should be going,” she said, looking at her watch. “But I’m not running out on you, Gaëlle. We can discuss this any time I’m free. Just give me a call.”
“Thank you for listening. I needed that,” Gaëlle said, kissing Maya on both cheeks. “You can be sure I’ll call you, because almost everything we’ve dealt with today has been what I’ve done in the past. It’s the future that isn’t so clear to me.”
“Next time,” Maya said decisively.
From Gaëlle’s Journal
Jung talks about synchronicity, and I just had a fine example of it. There was I, racking my brains over how to ask Maya to hear me out, and there she was, and in need of help. Her immediate needs were much simpler to address than mine, but it gave me the chance to open up the subject. From what she said in the car, she’s been observing me over a period of time, but she had the sensitivity to wait until I raised the subject before letting me know.
People never cease to amaze me. The calm and understanding way that Maya listened to my story so far was astonishing. When she said I was her best friend, I felt such a glow! I’ve underestimated her. It felt so good to tell her about my experiences and it was in some ways a relief that she’d guessed some of it already. I’ve also misjudged Eric, it seems. Maya said that he’d enjoy seeing me exposed, and that it wouldn’t bother her if he did. Maybe I can arrange for that to happen, but only if I can be sure that she really won’t object That’s a nice thought, as is the idea that my relationship with Jérôme, and its sexual nature, was the subject of discussions between Maya and Eric! I wonder how often they discuss me and if so, whether that spices up their sex life. But they must have good sex together, or Maya wouldn’t have recognized my scent on Jérôme’s lips. She let that slip! I assume she was going on her own scent on Eric’s lips, but who knows?
Having told Maya that I intend to restart my life of erotic exploration, I felt the urge to make a start. So, last night in the shower I shaved off all my pubic hair. I’m the only one who’ll be seeing my bare sex at the moment, but I’m sure I’ll want others to know about it quite soon. Shaving myself brought back so many exciting memories!
Chapter Sixteen
Gaëlle sat at the desk in her apartment the next morning, staring at her diary. She couldn’t help comparing the blank, empty pages from a few months earlier with her current complex social arrangements. She was trying to juggle the sporadic visits of Gabi with the requests from Odile to go and keep her company at Barbara’s house and now, with what looked as if it would become a series of challenging discussions with Maya. Gabi was the most demanding of the three, wanting to come round several times a week whenever she was in Strasbourg, avid to learn some more details of Gaëlle’s sex life. With Odile, it was more that Gaëlle sensed the other woman’s isolation during the extended absence of Barbara. Odile was also the gatekeeper to the pumping equipment that Gaëlle was keen to try a second time. She phoned Odile and arranged to visit her that evening.
“It will be just for a swim and a chat, though,” she told Odile. “Other things will have to wait until I have time to try them properly.”
“It will just be nice to see you,” Odile said, making Gaëlle feel guilty.
As on her previous visit, Gaëlle swam naked in Barbara’s pool. It seemed to please Odile, in spite of her insistence that she was only interested in men. They chatted afterwards about their respective husbands, and when Gaëlle left, she was glad that she’d done her duty, as well as forgetting for a while the spaghetti tangle of her erotic life past, present and potential. There was a message on her answering machine when she got back home.
“Coucou, Gaëlle, it’s Gabi. I’m off to America in the morning. Work. See you in three weeks. Kisses, ‘Bye.”
Gabi’s boss, the one she referred to as my minister, seemed to cross the globe as easily and often as others might cross town, Gaëlle reflected. But at least that would leave the field clear for Maya.
The following morning, Saturday, Gaëlle called Maya’s house, but got the answering machine, so she left an innocuous message. “Hello, Maya, it’s Gaëlle. If you came round on Monday evening about seven, that would be good.”
She was about to sign off when Eric’s voice broke in, “Sorry, Gaëlle. Maya’s out and I was slow to get to the phone. I’ll give her your message, but I’m sure Monday at seven will be fine. I’ll deal with the girls. But, Gaëlle, have you a few minutes?”
“Of course. What’s it about?”
“Did Maya ever tell you that she sometimes talks in her sleep?”
Gaëlle’s stomach lurched. “She does?”
“Yes, she does, especially when something is on her mind. Can you see where I’m going with this?”
“Perhaps,” Gaëlle said, cautiously.
“The other night, she was fast asleep, but she was muttering about Jérôme and you and it woke me up. I thought you should be warned that some things that you might have supposed were quite private, aren’t.”
“Yes…Well…Thank you, Eric.” Gaëlle started to put the phone down, feeling rather faint.
“Don’t go yet, Gaëlle, please,” Eric said. “I’m a bit embarrassed that I heard stuff that wasn’t intended for me, but I think it might be useful for you and me to talk. I don’t want to shock you like this again.”
“Is this the sort of talk that has to be kept a secret from Maya? If so, then I think not. She’s my friend, Eric.”
“I’d rather she didn’t know at this point, but it’s because you and she are such good friends that I feel I can talk to you about her. I think you can help me and help Maya, too.”
“Go on, then. I’m listening,” Gaëlle conceded.
“I assume she already told you that we used to discuss Jérôme and you, and how you behaved towards each other?”
“Yes, she did.”
“I gather that she told you about the party when she wore her little pink dress with the low neck.”
“I didn’t know the colour, but yes, she did.”
“I bet she also told you that she only ever wore the dress on that one occasion.”
“Yes, she did.”
“I thought she’d say that, but it isn’t true. There was another time. We were in a restaurant and she suddenly pulled the neck of the dress down, flashed her bare boobs at me, no bra, and stuck her tongue out. She looked fabulous. I was stunned. She said Happy now? and put them away again. I told her how fantastic she looked and when we went home, we had a great night.”
“Good for you.”
“Did Maya let on that you and Jérôme have also appeared in fantasies she and I told each other in bed?”
“She didn’t tell me about that. Are you sure it wasn’t just you with the fantasies, Eric?”
“Maybe I started it more often, but Maya initiated some of them, too.”
“I see. Why are you telling me this?”
�
�Because I’m hoping that your discussions with Maya might encourage her in that direction.”
“Which you would enjoy.”
“Mightily. And Maya would, too. It’s just that she can’t admit it as easily as I can.”
“All I can promise is that I’ll bear it in mind, Eric. Okay?”
“I’m not asking for any more than that. Thanks, Gaëlle. Goodbye.”
Gaëlle put the phone down and sat back, her brain racing. What had she told Maya so far? And how much of that did Eric now know? At least he was still speaking to her. Should she tell Maya that she’d changed her mind? How would she explain it if she did? Why was life so complicated? Then Gaëlle smiled to herself. Life was complicated because she made it so, through her desire to explore in a way that most women never did more than think about. She calmed herself down. She told Jérôme, as she so often did when she was on her own. It cleared her mind to hear the words.
“I’ll have to tell Maya that Eric knows what we’re discussing. She’s my friend, and I won’t hide things from her,” she declared. How Maya took that was up to her. The next question was, would that stop Maya from wanting to hear more? Again, Gaëlle decided, that would be Maya’s choice. She felt better for having reached these conclusions, made herself a camomile tea and took it and herself off to bed with a Fred Vargas. A good murder story would help her relax before she went to sleep. Besides, she liked Vargas’ hero—he led an emotional life that was sometimes just as uncomfortable as her own.
Chapter Seventeen
“Where were we?” Maya began, on Monday evening. “I’ve got used to the idea that your sex life was a lot wilder than I had imagined, so…”
Gaëlle interrupted her. “Maya, there’s a complication I need to tell you about before I say more, if I’m going to say more, that is.”
Maya looked at her in surprise. “You think you’ve revealed too much? You don’t trust me?” Her face fell.
Gaëlle hastened to reassure her, then explained about the phone call.
“Shit!” Maya said. “I haven’t done that for ages.”
“It’s not as bad as talking to yourself, which is what I do,” Gaëlle tried to reassure her.
“But at least you only do it when you’re alone! I blab all your secrets in bed, with Eric listening to every word!” Maya wailed. “I’m truly sorry, Gaëlle, I had no idea I was giving your secrets away. I suppose that’s why you want to stop telling me stuff.”
“Not at all. I chose you as the person I trusted most to understand me, and that hasn’t changed. But what we do about Eric is another question.”
“He’d be only too delighted to come with me and hear it first hand,” Maya joked ironically. Gaëlle thought for a moment.
“How would you react if I said okay, let’s invite him to join us?”
“I was joking!”
“I’m not,” Gaëlle said. “Think seriously about it for a moment. He’s going to get some of it from you, whether you like it or not, and we both know he’ll enjoy that, from what you’ve told me of him. Besides, judging by what I know of men, now Eric knows what we’re talking about, you’ll face an interrogation every time you get home after being with me, won’t you?”
“That’s inevitable,” Maya agreed. “It could be difficult if I try to hold out on him. I wouldn’t want that.”
“So why not bring it out in the open? You can always use it to stimulate your love-life with Eric,” Gaëlle added mischievously.
Maya blushed. “Oh, so he told you that, too? You’d better tell me what else my darling Eric revealed.”
“There was a mention of a pink dress,” Gaëlle said. “On a different occasion from the one you told me about?”
“I thought we were talking about your sex life, not mine,” Maya blustered.
“We are, but we’re also considering how we progress from here in that discussion, aren’t we? And some things about you and Eric might turn out to be relevant, don’t you think? You were about to tell me? The pink dress?”
“Oh, all right, then,” Maya conceded. “The famous pink dress has been crucial to Eric’s erotic perception of me, ever since he chose it. I suppose I’ll have to show it to you sometime, so you get a better idea, but shall we say it’s shorter and shows off my boobs more than anything you’ve seen me wearing.”
“In the changing rooms, I’ve seen you wearing nothing but a smile,” Gaëlle reminded her.
“That’s different. Maybe you think about sex while you’re at the gym, but mostly I don’t. I’m more concerned with getting a good workout, and if I do have any brain cells to spare, they’re busy thinking about running my school.”
“Sorry. I forget sometimes that you’re a working woman,” Gaëlle said. “But you were about to tell me about this dress, weren’t you?”
“Persistence is one of your virtues, Gaëlle, but it can be a vice, too.” Maya sighed. “Oh, why not? Briefly, this is what happened, Eric had been plaguing me about the dress, saying that I hadn’t worn it for ages, and only ever once and so on. It was coming up to our wedding anniversary, and I thought it would keep him quiet if I wore it. At the last moment, I decided to give him a surprise, so I didn’t put a bra on. At the restaurant, he was so thrilled I was wearing the dress, I’m sure he had no idea of what he was eating. So, as a final gift, I gave him a quick glimpse. He couldn’t wait to get me home!”
“How did you feel when you showed him? You were in public after all,” Gaëlle asked.
“It was more for Eric than for me. I enjoyed that he enjoyed it.”
“But you felt a buzz, too, didn’t you? You were taking a deliberate risk, and that was exciting, wasn’t it?”
“You’re determined that I should confess, aren’t you? You know far better than I do how it felt. It’s an instant of exaltation, followed by half an hour of apprehension, in case someone noticed.”
“And did they?”
“I hope not! I was only a teacher then, not a Directrice, but it wouldn’t have done a lot for my career!”
“I recognize that,” Gaëlle commented. “It was why Jérôme and I so rarely took risks near home. Most of our adventures happened on holiday.”
“Yes, let’s get back to you and your adventures,” Maya said, her voice revealing her relief.
“But we haven’t resolved the question of Eric. Do we have him here or not?”
“I’d be too inhibited if Eric were here listening to us. Besides, we can’t afford a babysitter for every Monday night,” Maya said. They sat for a moment, both deep in thought.
“Here’s a suggestion,” Gaëlle said. “How about if, when we have these discussions, we call Eric on the phone and leave the loudspeaker on. He’ll be able to hear everything that’s said, and I’m fairly sure that we’ll quickly forget that he’s listening. Provided he doesn’t chip in, of course.”
“He’d have to take a vow of silence as part of the deal,” Maya agreed, after a few moments’ consideration. “It’s a compromise I can live with, if you can. It’s not my sex life we’re discussing, after all. I can’t be much use to you unless we talk and I can’t guarantee that my sleep-talking won’t reveal it all, anyway. You realize that he’s going to want to go over it with me when I get home, don’t you?”
“Your decision,” Gaëlle said, happy to be echoing Jérôme’s mantra. “Do you want to call him now? Or is it too early? Will the girls still be up?”
“Let’s get it over with. I won’t be able to relax until it’s done.”
Gaëlle rang Maya’s home number. When it rang, she switched on the speaker.
“Hello?” Eric’s voice echoed, as if he was in a hallway.
“You’re busy?” Gaëlle asked.
“Gaëlle? Is everything all right?” Eric sounded anxious.
“Are the girls in bed?” Maya said loudly.
“Fed, bathed, in pyjamas and, I hope, asleep,” Eric reported with audible pride.
“Then go and sit down somewhere comfortable,” Maya ordered.
Gaëlle smiled. There was no doubt who was in charge chez Maya!
There was a pause. The next time Eric spoke, the echo had disappeared.
“I’m sitting comfortably,” he reported. “In the living room, if you want to know. What next?”
“There’s a button on the phone marked Secret. Press it.”
“But then I can’t talk to you! What’s this all about, Maya?”
“Since you’ve been earwigging on my secrets when I’m asleep, Gaëlle and I have decided you can listen to us chatting. You aren’t going to be doing any joining in, but you’re allowed to listen, if you behave yourself,” Maya told him.
“Like a fly on the wall? I’m honoured. Okay, I’m going off air.” There was a click, then silence. A few moments later Eric spoke again. “I just recited a Baudelaire poem. Did you hear it?”
“Not a word.”
“Good. It works. I’m listening. You two go ahead.” A click, then nothing.
There was a pause. Maya kept looking across at the phone. Eventually, Gaëlle broke the silence. “Just to put you in the picture, Eric,” she said, “we’d just discussed your wedding anniversary evening. I’ve told Maya that I can understand your urge to see her in public looking sexy. It’s something I know a lot about, because I used to do it with Jérôme. I’ve been very exposed in public, and I was asking Maya whether she thought I still had a body that people would enjoy seeing naked.”
“Eric,” Maya said sharply. “Don’t even think of touching that button. You are strictly a listener! And I just told Gaëlle that I was sure she’d find admirers if she chose to let them see parts of her that are usually hidden.”
“We’re going to have to be more explicit,” Gaëlle said. “What Maya is referring to is simple. It’s a big turn on for me to show my bare breasts, my bare bottom and my bare sex in public. There, it’s clear now, I hope.”
“It hadn’t sunk in that you’d gone quite so far,” Maya admitted. “I assumed breasts and bum, but I hadn’t realized you meant the rest, too.”