I Let Him Go: The heartbreaking book from the mother of James Bulger

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I Let Him Go: The heartbreaking book from the mother of James Bulger Page 23

by Fergus, Denise


  Time and my husband and children have given me a sense of happiness and peace I could never have imagined after the day James left my side. But I think the time has come, now 25 years after my son’s murder and in light of the recent offence by Venables, that there is a renewed national conversation around the appropriate length of sentencing for under-age criminals. We have also started a petition to ensure the probation service is compelled to alert victim’s families immediately after any offence. I will continue to do all I can for James until there is no breath left in my body – he will always be my son and I will protect him and his memory forever. The fight continues, it just changes as the years go on.

  Acknowledgements

  There are so many people who have given me love and support over the years, including those involved in this book, which is a tribute to my beautiful James.

  Firstly, special thanks to all the police officers who worked around the clock to find my son and resolve his murder. I know that everyone involved gave the case everything and I will always be so grateful to you for all you did for our family.

  Sean Sexton and Chris Johnson who have been there from the very start – whatever the situation they have guided and protected me. Sean has seen me through some of the toughest legal battles, and continues to do so as we carry on our fight for James. Chris has helped me to navigate the media and press throughout the years and is now involved in the day-to-day running of James’ charity.

  To my manager, Kym Rowlingson, who has been instrumental in helping me achieve new goals to keep James’ name alive. She has brought me new opportunities, including the chance to do this book, and I am so grateful. She has been there throughout this process and we have become close friends – I am looking forward to what is to come and working together for a long time.

  To my writer, Carly Cook, who I trusted completely to write my story and tell the world about my precious son. I have opened up completely, which I didn’t think was possible, and I trusted her from the word go. I think she has been amazing, very committed and totally understanding of how I wanted this book to be. I wanted it to be a celebration of James and I am proud that we have achieved that.

  To Amanda Preston, my literary agent – thank you so much for finding the right home for this book, so that I finally get to tell my story.

  To everyone at Blink who has helped to bring this book to life – Natalie Jerome, who believed in it right from reading the proposal and made it difficult to pick anyone else! To Beth Eynon for keeping everything on schedule, to the design team for the cover and to Karen Stretch for looking after the book PR.

  To everyone involved in the charity that we run in James’ name – I know they will keep on doing all they can to support us and all the work we do.

  Huge and special thanks must go to my wonderful three boys, who have always been so understanding about everything I have ever done in my fight for James over the years. They are loving, supportive and I couldn’t be prouder of the men they are becoming.

  To my wonderful husband, Stuart, who has been my rock from the moment he came into my life. He has been there, by my side, at all times over the years as I have fought battle after battle in James’ name and memory. Together with Michael, Thomas and Leon, they have given me so much strength to carry on and have always understood why I needed to fight.

  Thanks also go to my brothers and sisters for their constant support and for being there whenever I have needed them over the years. And to my wonderful mum and dad, who are no longer with us.

  Final thanks go to the public, who have supported me over the years and helped to keep the fight going in James’ name. I will keep going until James gets the justice he deserves.

  Me as a baby and a picture with my proud mum.

  Baby James with my mum and dad. They loved being grandparents.

  Cheeky James – he always had a smile for the camera.

  Caught in the act and covered in chocolate after an Easter treat.

  One of James’ favourite games – turning the TV on and off!

  Celebrating my sweet boy’s first birthday.

  Kisses for my baby – the best feeling in the world.

  I loved dressing James up in little outfits and his denim look was one of my favourites.

  Me and my boy – he made me smile every single day.

  James and my mum – we saw her almost every day and they were so close.

  James was such a homebody and loved pottering around and causing mischief.

  He always loved bath time, even if most of the water ended up on the floor!

  My beautiful James.

  James in Wales enjoying his first and last holiday.

  My application for James’ primary school place, which he didn’t live to take up.

  My beautiful boy’s final resting place.

  Just some of the flowers left by kind well-wishers.

  © The Mail on Sunday

  © Mirrorpix

  © Mirrorpix

  © Mirrorpix

  The whole world was talking about my boy, and all I wanted was him home.

  My wedding to Stuart, along with the births of my children, were the happiest days of my life.

  My wedding invitation.

  A family portrait, to mark the christening of Thomas and Leon.

  Snowy fun with the boys – they are never out of my sight.

  My three handsome boys.

  I love this picture of my four boys together. I am so proud to be their mum.

 

 

 


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