Off to War

by Deborah Ellis

  There are a lot of activities on the base for kids — got to keep those military brats busy! — but I’m not involved with any of them now. I’m more into theater. I’m in a play in Shelby this summer — 101 Dalmations. We’re rehearsing a lot right now because the performance is in just two weeks. It’s a lot of fun, and takes my mind off things that are not so fun.

  Before President Bush, I thought I’d just be an actor for my life’s job. I get to be someone else on stage. It’s really exhilarating to transform yourself. Awesome.

  I’ll still be an actor, and I’m going to try to get acting jobs while I’m still young so I’ll have money to pay for college. I think I want to do more than that with my life, though.

  I know for sure that I won’t join the army. I’m going to join the peace corps instead, and try to balance out some of the bad stuff my country has done to the world with some good stuff. After the peace corps, I’ll go to university and study psychology. Then after that, I want to be president of the United States.

  This whole war was just for oil, and for money-grubbing Americans. George Bush lied about the weapons of mass destruction. It would be better in Iraq if the US was not there. Most of the suicide bombers are because of the US. We should just get out.

  I’ve only met one Iraqi. He was a little bit older than me. He was a Fulbright scholar. I liked him.

  The people who are protesting the war are showing their love for our country because when your country is doing something wrong, you have to raise your voice. I went to a protest earlier this year, at a park near the base. My grandmother took me. She doesn’t like the war, either.

  Mom tries to keep awful news away from me, but I really don’t know why she does that. I watch the news. I know what the world is about.

  Dad came home on leave for two weeks a few months ago. Oh, it was so great to see him! We did all sorts of things together — normal things, for us. We’re both into Star Wars, and we like to roughhouse. And we go on these expeditions to the parks around the base. Normal stuff. Good stuff.

  He seemed more mellow when he was home. He thought about things a lot more, and he’d be really careful. He’d do things like drive around potholes, where before he’d just bounce right through them. He kept saying how much he loved me and my mom.

  I feel jealous of other kids, the ones who have never been away from their parents. They never have to worry if he’s been injured or killed.

  I know there are people in Dad’s company who have been killed or wounded. So far, my dad’s okay. Lots of soldiers make it home without any problems, so I think my dad will make it home, too.

  At least we’re able to stay in touch all the time, through the internet. Also, I’ve started an art business. I like to draw, and I have several customers who have bought my drawings. Dad bought some for people he knows in Iraq. I shipped them over there. I think he’s proud of me that I can do things like that.

  I’m not aware that Dad is involved in killing other people. If he was, I’d still love him. I feel sorry for the soldiers who are made to do things like that. A lot of them don’t want to go to Iraq but what can they do? If they refuse, they’re marked AWOL, and they’ll go to jail.

  I get my strength from my dad and from my mom. My mom is really strong. She finds it hard when Dad’s away, but she says that we’ll get through it together. She’s very smart, too, and she wants me to have a good mind, and use all my gifts. When I’m feeling really bad, I’ll go to my mom, and I’ll feel strong again. Drawing and my mom. Those are the things that keep me strong.

  My advice for other military kids is, keep strong, and don’t let anybody get you down.

  Patrick, 14, Kevin, 11, and Collin, 9

  Teenagers can react differently to their parents’ deployment than their younger brothers and sisters. They may take great leaps forward while their parents are away — starting to date, learning to drive. Their parents might return to kids who are substantially different from the ones they left — kids who are used to running their own lives without having someone extra to answer to.

  A growing recognition of the special needs of military teens has led to the development of resources aimed especially at them. Operation Purple Summer Camps have leadership programs. The Guard Family Youth (www.GuardFamilyYouth.org) runs a web-site with advice and opportunities. The Student2Student project of the Military Child Education Coalition helps link up students for peer support. In Canada, the Canadian Forces Connecting Youth website provides a way for military teens to connect and share experiences (www.connectingcfyouth.ca).

  Patrick, Kevin and Collin’s dad is a lieutenant colonel with the Pennsylvania National Guard. He has just begun his tour of duty in Iraq, stationed primarily in the Green Zone, a fortified area in the center of Baghdad nicknamed Little America.

  Patrick — My father has been in the Guard for twenty-one years. He’s in Iraq now. It’s the first time he’s been overseas.

  He’s been gone for almost three months now. It will be another year before he comes home again. Unless the war ends before that.

  I remember the day he told us he was going. He sat us all down in the living room. He was very excited, because he really wanted to go, and he knew he was going two weeks before he told us. So he sat us all down in the living room and set up a map of Iraq and took out his laser printer and said, “Guess what? This is where I’m going!”

  Our reaction really took him by surprise because we all started to cry. Well, me and my brothers did. My mom tried hard not to, because she could see that Dad was so happy, and she wanted to be supportive of him. She didn’t argue with him, or tell him not to go. But we did. Dad was shocked by that.

  He really was excited about going, though, so after we got over the shock of it, we just accepted it. I think what got him most excited was that it’s an opportunity to serve his country, and he’s very big on that.

  This is his first overseas mission, but he went away before, to New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina hit. His job was to keep the peace, because there were a lot of criminals and looters running around. So he was guarding things and keeping them safe. He didn’t talk much about what he did there, but he took some pictures of things like a downed chopper, high water levels, mud in the streets, cars flipped over. It was pretty awful, but he was trained for it, and he did his job.

  The day he left for Iraq, we drove him to the military base. A lot of soldiers were leaving at the same time, so there was a goodbye ceremony. The governor gave a speech, and so did a general and some guy from the air force. They talked about what the families were going through and how important it was to support the troops. We stayed for all the speeches, then watched my dad get on a bus with the other soldiers, and we went home.

  My father’s job in Iraq is to help General Petraeus. He’s the head of everything in Iraq. Dad works with the general in the public affairs office in the Green Zone in Baghdad. The Green Zone is a very protected place, with high, thick walls, lots of tanks and machine guns guarding it, and lots of barbed wire. Dad stays in the Green Zone all the time. They don’t allow him to go outside it.

  It’s pretty nice in there, though. Dad’s staying right by the river, and there are shops and palm trees and places to eat Chinese food. Saddam Hussein’s palace is in the Green Zone, too, but it’s used for offices and things now, because Saddam was hanged.

  It’s pretty safe inside the Zone, but sometimes missiles and bombs get in over the walls, and then there are explosions and everyone has to run for cover. Just after Dad got there, he had to get down on the ground and go under his desk because of a bomb or something exploding.

  We get to talk to Dad a lot, almost every day, because he’s kind of high up and important so he can use the phones to call us. He mostly asks us how we are doing because he’s not allowed to tell us a lot about what he’s doing. I think he would tell me if something bad happened, like a bomb, but he’d only tell me in general terms, not details. He wouldn’t want us to get worried.

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nbsp; All this war comes out of 9/11. I was in the second or third grade and sitting in my classroom. No one told us what happened, but we knew something was up because parents started coming to the school to get their kids, and the day wasn’t even half over yet. Over half of my class was taken out, and still the teachers didn’t tell us. It wasn’t until I got home that I learned about the planes and people attacking us.

  The terrorists — the Iraqis who are attacking us, all those things, 9/11 — happen because people are jealous of us, and because they’re jealous that makes them not like us. They don’t want the help we’re offering them.

  The United States is in Iraq to try to build a proper nation there, with laws and peace and a good government. It’s a hard job because there are people in Iraq who don’t want those things, and that’s why they make trouble.

  Having Dad gone is a big loss for our family because he’s a really big factor in keeping our family going. It’s not just that he mows the lawn and takes care of the house. He also kind of keeps us all together. It’s not so much that we miss him doing things. We all help out now to do those things. We just miss him.

  He misses out on us, too. It’s my middle brother’s first year of middle school, and he’s missing that, and he’ll miss being with us for birthdays, and Thanksgiving, and other important days.

  We’ll be together for Christmas, though. Dad’s taking his two-week leave then, and we’re all going to fly over to Germany to spend the holidays together.

  Dad’s been gone for about three months, and we’re starting to get used to it, sort of. My brothers and I are coping all right. My youngest brother doesn’t talk about it. He doesn’t hardly even acknowledge a lot about it. He didn’t cry or look sad, even though we knew he was. I was very sad. Every night before Dad left, and for weeks afterwards, I’d almost cry. But time has gone by and Dad’s okay, so I don’t worry about him as much.

  Dad missed my birthday, but that didn’t stop me from having fun. It wasn’t the same without him there, but I knew he was doing what was important to him to do, and me being unhappy wouldn’t bring him back early. So I had a good day, even though I missed him. Last year, Dad took me waterskiing on my birthday, so this year was very different.

  My grandparents are really angry that Dad’s in Iraq. They’re coping, but they’re agitated. We spent time with them this summer, another thing we usually do with Dad. He’s always the one to come up with great ideas about what to do with our time and how to have fun.

  We’re managing, though. We help Mom out with the chores, and our friends and neighbors have been really great. Once a week or so the neighbors cook a meal for us to give Mom a break, and they help her out by driving us to soccer and things.

  I might join the military later on, if I can’t be a NASCAR driver. I want some kind of job where I don’t have to sit behind a desk all day, where I can be active. If I join the military, I want to be a soldier in the field, doing lots of different things.

  A good thing about joining the military would be that everyone would recognize you as being someone who serves their country. They’d look up to you. Leaving your family would be a bad thing, that and having to move all the time.

  Sometimes I see reports of protesters on the news, saying the war is bad and the president is bad. I try to put them out of my mind. We learned in school that during the Vietnam War there were protests, and the soldiers saw the protests, and that brought down their morale. Good morale is very important in a war. It makes the time pass quicker. If you’re sad, it will affect your ability to do your job, and you might make a mistake, and that could lead to people getting killed.

  I’m not saying the protesters want people to get killed. They probably don’t even think about that. A lot of them are maybe family members of soldiers who have died or been injured, and they just want all the soldiers back safe.

  The advice I have for other military kids is to concentrate on what’s good, and to do good things while your parent is deployed, so they’ll be proud of you when they finally come home.

  Kevin — Our father’s in the National Guard, not the regular military, so we don’t live on a base and don’t know other military kids. My friends don’t really understand what we’re going through, and they don’t know much about Iraq, so it’s hard to talk to them.

  Not every kid always has their parents with them. A lot of parents get divorced, but even when that happens they usually get to see their mom or dad on visiting days, even if they don’t live with them anymore.

  We won’t see our dad for a whole year, and that’s a long time. We’ll see him at Christmas, in Germany, and that will be awesome, but that’s a long time from now.

  I watch the news with my mother and brothers, and sometimes the news from Iraq isn’t good. People die. Soldiers die. Dad’s safe in the Green Zone, but we still worry. I actually worry a lot. Dad could get attacked, terrorists could shoot in rockets or climb the walls and get him, or he could be out driving and hit a roadside bomb.

  My teachers know that Dad is over there, but they don’t talk with me about it, and we don’t discuss the war in school. What would it help? What could they say that would matter?

  I try to spend my time doing things I enjoy because it keeps me from getting too worried. We live by a forest, so we’re back in the woods all the time, building little bridges and walkways across the creek, and forts and things. And we play soccer and go fishing a lot. Those are all great things to do.

  My advice to other military kids is just don’t freak out about it. Get on with your life and don’t freak out.

  Collin — The hardest time for me is when we’re out some place where there are a lot of dads with their kids and our dad isn’t there.

  Mom copes well, though. I haven’t seen her cry once. She keeps us really busy. She says if we’re busy, our minds will stay positive, and not just be missing Dad all the time.

  We’re very proud that Dad’s serving the country. Everyone supports him and thinks he’s a hero. Somebody had to fight the people who attacked us on 9/11, so my dad is doing that job. He only has a pistol, though, not a big machine gun or a flame-thrower or anything like that. He’s not allowed to go out of the Green Zone, so he probably won’t have to kill anybody, unless somebody sneaks in over the wall. I’d rather not think about him killing someone.

  I don’t know if I’ll join the army, but I would like to travel. I want to see Greece, Hawaii and Mexico.

  My advice to other kids with parents in Iraq is to try not to let your parents being gone hold you back. You still have to live your life. Just look forward to them coming home, but don’t dwell on it. You have other things to do.

  Ashley, 9, and Deserée, 10

  Deployment changes people. Sometimes those changes move people forward so that families grow closer and their ties become stronger. Sometimes marriages and families are not able to hold it together. The break-ups might not be caused by the deployment, but the deployment doesn’t help.

  Ashley and Deserée live in Maine. Their father is a staff sergeant in the Army Reserves and is serving in Iraq.

  Ashley — Our dad’s been in Iraq now for a long time, since last year. It’s his first time there. He’s supposed to be home in a month.

  I can hardly wait for him to come back. It’s been hard with him away because I don’t get to do the things I usually do with him, like play video games. Our favorite is Star Wars.

  We’re able to keep in touch a little bit, mostly through email, but it’s not all that good. We send him parcels, too. Mom puts in Oreos because he likes them. Mom finds it hard that he’s gone. Sometimes she’s a little bit happy, sometimes she’s a little bit mad, but she takes care of us.

  Even when Dad is here, he’s not here. He works a lot, I mean. He has to leave the house really early and comes back really late. In Iraq he fixes trucks, and when he’s here, he fixes trucks that have come back broken from Iraq. So it’s all about Iraq.

  I can’t think about anything that�
�s good about being in a military family. I know I won’t join the army. Why would I want to do something that would take me away from my family?

  I have no idea what I’ll do with my life. My hobbies are playing sports and aggravating my older sister, but it’s not really possible to make a career out of that.

  Deserée — Our father joined the military a year before I was born. I have no idea why he joined. Our mom isn’t with the army. She was a postal worker for awhile, but now she’s looking for a job.

  It was pretty sad the day Dad left for Iraq. We drove him to the Reserve center for the farewell ceremony. Three people gave speeches. I don’t remember now what they said. I wasn’t really listening that hard. I had other things on my mind. Then the speeches ended, and everybody told their soldiers goodbye. Then my dad got on a bus with the other soldiers, and my sisters and I and my mother went home. Some of the families stayed to visit with each other, but we didn’t. There was too much crying.

  I really miss him. I miss doing things with him, like playing video games and going to the park. It’s harder on my five-year-old sister, though, who doesn’t really remember him much at all. When he comes home, he’ll be a stranger to her, almost.

  The thing that’s harder even than missing him is that we’re all now used to him being gone. We cried a lot when he first left, and the house really felt empty, but now we’re used to him not being here. It will be great to see him, but it will also be strange, too, to have him back again. We’ll have to get used to that.

  But we were happy when he came back on his break. That was much more happy than strange. We were able to do stuff with him that we hadn’t done in over half a year. He came home for two weeks and we all went on a little holiday together. We even got to leave school because he came home from the war while school was still on. We couldn’t go very far because we didn’t have a lot of money for gas. We live in Maine and we went just over to Massachusetts. But it was great. We saw the ocean and a lot of other things.