Carter Bravo's Christmas Bride

by Christine Rimmer

  But she was the levelheaded one, the sane one who never let her emotions get the better of her. So she only asked mildly, “What bribe?”

  Carter blanched.

  Willow said, “Carter will explain everything.” She gave her son another of those weird little smiles. “Won’t you, darling?”

  Carter just said, “Paige, I...” And then ran out of words.

  No drama, Paige reminded herself. No drama, no way. At least not until she had him alone. “How about this? Let’s discuss it later. Right now we’re the guests of honor at this beautiful party your mom has thrown for us.” She held out her hand to him. “Let’s go downstairs where we belong.”

  * * *

  Paige felt oddly anesthetized for the rest of the evening. As if she were wrapped in gauze, looking at everything through a white fabric screen, feeling everything distantly, as though every inch of her skin had gone numb.

  But even numb and wrapped in gauze, she could see that the party was a success. Carter’s brothers and sisters all said that the mansion had never looked so warm and inviting, that Estrella had outdone herself.

  And Willow, as it turned out, was an excellent hostess—Willow, who spent most of her time traveling, who rarely attended local events and seemed to consider family gatherings dangerous to her health.

  Not tonight, not at this party. Tonight, Willow was someone else altogether, happy and chatty, her smile glowing and sincere.

  When they took their seats at the table, Willow made a toast to the happy couple. Carter’s mom said that she’d known the first time she met Paige, at Bravo Custom Cars three days after Paige had taken the job as office manager, that Paige was the one for her oldest son.

  Willow gave a husky chuckle. “Though I have to say, I never would have guessed that it would take the two of them five more years to figure out what I knew the minute I saw them together.”

  A ripple of knowing laughter filled the room. Everyone seemed to know something Paige didn’t really get. Across the table, Dawn and Molly were laughing with everyone else. Dawn leaned close to her best friend and whispered something.

  Molly nodded and giggled some more.

  Paige remembered the Saturday morning after Thanksgiving, when she’d confided in Dawn, and Dawn had told her that “everyone” knew she had a thing for Carter.

  Now Willow was standing right there at the table, lifting a cut crystal champagne flute that had once belonged to her lifelong rival, saying that she’d been waiting five years for Carter and Paige to finally get together. And judging by the nods, the laughter and the grins on all their faces, everyone at the table knew what Willow knew.

  They all knew everything.

  Only Paige was left stumbling in the dark.

  And what about Carter? How much did he know?

  She wanted to turn to him and ask him straight out. But now wasn’t the time. This wasn’t the place. And besides, Paige didn’t dare look at him. She had the strangest feeling that, if she looked at him, into his eyes, the numbness would fade and the gauze would fall away.

  And she would be left there, seeing too much, every inch of her body burning and tingling in excruciating pain.

  Willow continued talking, so relaxed, smiling and gracious. She said she was so glad that her son had figured out what he really wanted at last. She said that she adored her only grandchild, Quinn’s daughter, Annabelle. And she wanted more grandchildren, please. She scolded Paige and Carter that they shouldn’t take forever about it—she wasn’t getting any younger, after all.

  Through the rest of the evening, Paige kept her head up. That strange numbness kept her nice and calm as she played her part.

  “Okay, what’s going on with you two?” Dawn asked as soon as they were back in Carter’s gorgeous old Cadillac and on the way home.

  “Not a thing,” said Carter.

  “We’re fine,” Paige lied.

  Dawn made a scoffing sound, but she left it alone. Molly was staying over. Paige dreaded the moment when she and Carter were alone. Things needed to be said and yet she didn’t want to say them. And she really didn’t want Dawn and Molly around for any of it.

  Carter must have felt the same way. When he pulled into the driveway and sent the garage rumbling up, he said, “Paige and I have to go over to my place. You two go on in. We’ll see you later.”

  Dawn leaned up between the seats. “What is going on?”

  Paige had no answer for her, so she just said, “Go ahead. We’re at Carter’s if you need us.”

  Dawn gave her a long, searching look. Paige’s stomach spurted acid as she waited for resistance.

  But then Dawn only made a frustrated sound low in her throat and said, “Fine. See you later.” She and Molly got out and went in through the garage.

  Carter shut the garage door and backed out from the driveway.

  * * *

  Carter’s house was cold.

  He hadn’t been there for weeks, except to grab more of his stuff to take over to Paige’s. Even Sally was at Paige’s. He hadn’t put up any Christmas decorations—but he rarely did. It had always seemed pointless to him to put up a tree and spend all that time decorating it when he was the only one around to look at it and he would rather be at Paige and Dawn’s, anyway.

  He turned up the heat and asked Paige if she wanted anything. She shook her head and took the couch. He longed to sit beside her. But those fine, dark eyes said he’d better not try it.

  He sat in the easy chair across from her.

  For an endless five seconds or so, they stared at each other.

  Finally, she said, “So tell me. About this bribe.” She sat so still, her pale, pretty face way too calm. He had the strangest feeling that any second she would shatter.

  But she didn’t shatter.

  Not Paige.

  He told her everything, all of it. About the drink he’d had with his mother on Thanksgiving Day when Willow told him she’d bought the property—for him. That she wanted him married and when he did get married, the property would be his wedding present from her.

  “I would have told you that day.” He couldn’t keep a hint of bitterness from creeping in. “But you would hardly talk to me. As it turned out, you were freaked over that silly love quiz, remember?”

  She reminded him way too softly, “You’ve had plenty of opportunities since then to tell me all about it.”

  Something deep inside him twisted. “Yeah. I kept promising myself I would come clean with you. Soon. But, well, soon never came. We were together and it was so damn good and I didn’t want to rock that boat, didn’t want to take a chance I might lose you. I was afraid you wouldn’t believe me when I told you that my wanting to marry you had nothing to do with the damn property. And then, the longer I didn’t tell you, the harder it got to figure out how to tell you. Finally, the other day, when Kelly called to tell you my mother had bought the property, I...” Damn. He did not want to tell the rest of it. But Paige was waiting. And he knew she wouldn’t let him get away with any more lies. “I decided there was no reason you ever had to know the whole story. I decided I would get my mother to do just what she planned to do, give us the property as a wedding present. But as far as her scheme to bribe me into marriage with it went, I would just tell her never to say a word to you about that.” He paused for breath—and also, because he was kind of hoping she might say something.

  Like maybe, that she understood.

  Didn’t happen. So he forged on. “Unfortunately, all of a sudden, my mother was unavailable. I kept calling and leaving messages. I even dropped in at the mansion, but she wasn’t there. By the time we got to the party, I was frantic to get through to her. So when she went upstairs, I followed her. I caught her at the door to her room and I told her what I wanted from her. And could she just agree to do it my way? Oh, hell, no
. Suddenly, she was all about honesty and how lies weren’t a good foundation for a relationship. You walked in on her telling me that.” He put up both hands. “And that’s it. That’s all of it. It was stupid and I was wrong and all I want is for us to get past this.”

  Paige drew a very slow breath. “Carter.” She turned her head and stared into the dark fireplace. “I just...” Another slow breath. It seemed to be a huge effort for her, but she made herself look at him again. “I don’t want to do this anymore.”

  He pretended not to understand. He couldn’t bear to understand. “What are you talking about? Come on. You have to believe me. The property doesn’t have a damn thing to do with why I want to marry you.”

  She smiled then. He’d never seen her look so sad. “I believe you.”

  Hope blazed in his chest, searing like a brand. “You do? Thank God.” He stood to go to her.

  She put out a hand. “No. Please. Don’t.”

  He didn’t get it. But his knees did, apparently. They bent and he sank back in to his seat. What was the problem, then? She’d just said she believed him. But still, she was pushing him away. He tried to make it clearer. “I didn’t want to lose you. That’s all it was...”

  “Oh, Carter. Why can’t you see? This thing with the property, this big secret you’ve been keeping from me, it’s not the main issue, it’s more the final straw. The problem is that I love you. And I went ahead with your ridiculous test-drive marriage plan thinking that somehow I would get you to love me, too. But you...you hold back. You know you do.”

  Okay, he got it now. And he didn’t like it one damn bit. “This is all about I love you, isn’t it?” he accused. “This is all just because I won’t say the silly words.” It came out angry. Because, damn it, he was getting mad.

  And she just wouldn’t cop to it. “No. It’s not that. It’s really not.”

  Bull. “Who’s lying now?”

  “I’m not lying. The words you won’t say are just the symptom of the deeper problem. I’ve seen a true and happy marriage. My parents had one. I want that, what my parents had, I do. And I’m afraid I’ll never have that with you.”

  He was getting that feeling. Like his head might explode. Like his heart might just crash its way out of his chest. “Don’t talk to me about symptoms, about how perfect your parents were. This is about us, damn it. About how good it’s been since you finally agreed to wear my ring. You know how good it’s been. I know you know. You and me, together, it’s better than I ever dreamed it could be.”

  “Well, it’s not good enough for me.”

  He wanted to yell at her, to shout the house down. But he kept it together, just barely. He braced his elbows on his spread knees and leaned across the table at her. “What in the hell do you want from me, Paige?”

  She pressed her own knees together, planted her elbows on them and leaned right back at him. “What do I want? Well, let’s see. How ’bout a real engagement? How about, if you’re going to ask me to marry you, you do it straight out and let me say yes or no? You don’t come up with some bat-crap-crazy idea about trying it out until the holidays are over and then evaluating the situation to see if we want to make it real or we don’t.”

  Okay, yeah. Maybe the test-drive hadn’t been such a great idea. And he should apologize some more, he knew it. He should drop to his knees and beg. Because it would kill him to lose her and she had a right to know the whole truth, the one he’d been hiding from her—and from himself—for eight damn years.

  But he didn’t beg. He was too furious at her. “What else was I supposed to do?”

  She gasped as though he’d just said something so outrageous. And then she whispered hotly, “I just told you, you need to say what you want, to be honest about it.”

  “Honest. Right.”

  “Don’t you mock me, Carter.”

  “How can I help it? You’re so full of crap. All your talk about being honest, as though it’s so simple. Just tell Paige what you want from her. Just be honest and straightforward. Yeah, sure. You mean like I was honest eight years ago when I first met you? Because I was honest and we both know it. I went right after what I wanted, and it was you. And you had one answer for me back then. That answer was no. You turned me down. Repeatedly.”

  “That was all I could do right then,” she cried. “I’d just lost my parents. My fiancé, the guy who’d said he loved me more than his life, had dumped me flat the second things got tough. I had a little sister to raise. I wasn’t in any condition to be going out on dates.”

  “Yeah. I got that. You wanted a friend. And I gave you what you wanted for eight long years. I went out with strangers, tried to make it work with women who ended up hating me because I wasn’t really there for them. I even succeeded in convincing myself that I wanted what you wanted—for you and me to be good buddies, the best of friends. And then, a few weeks ago, with a nudge from my crazy mother and another from Murray Preble, I started to see the light, to admit again what I wanted. And it was still you. And so I went after you. And maybe I did it in a roundabout way. Maybe I did go about it all wrong, coming up with a test drive and then an evaluation. Because you’re all about the damn pros and cons, Paige, now, aren’t you? I thought, well, she can have one of her lists at the end and maybe then she’ll finally see that we should be together, maybe she’ll...” The words dribbled off into nothing and he was left wondering what the hell was the matter with him?

  God help him. He was babbling like an idiot, revealing things he’d never let himself think all that hard about. They hurt, those things. He wished he hadn’t said them.

  So he shut up. He shut up and he stared at her across that low table, stared long and hard.

  She stared back. She looked as if he’d punched her a good one right in the solar plexus, as if he’d knocked all the air clean out of her. “I don’t... I just never...” She flopped back against the cushions, then strained forward again. “Oh, Carter, how could you not have known you didn’t need that silly test-drive? I told you right out I’m in love with you.”

  “Oh, come on. Like talking about love is going to make anything clear to me. How many times have I told you that when people talk about love, all I see is my mother standing in the middle of the street, screaming at my dad while he peels rubber to get away from her? All I see is her crying and carrying on, wailing about how much she loves him—as she empties his underwear drawer onto the front lawn.”

  A low whimper escaped Paige. She covered her face with her hands. “Oh, God. What a mess...”

  His head pounded in rhythm with his racing heart. He slapped a hand on the back of his neck and squeezed, hard, as though he could rub the pain away. “Terrific. This is a big mess and I’m still a liar, right? That’s all you can see.”

  She dropped her hands and gaped at him. “No. That’s not what I said. Carter, can we just dial it down a notch? I just need a little time to—”

  “Stop.” He lurched upright. “Just don’t, okay?” He felt like someone had taken a belt sander to his heart. Everybody thought love was so damn great. He failed to see the wonderfulness. It just felt like torture to him. “I’m taking you home.”

  “But we need to—”

  “No. No, we don’t. I’ve had enough, okay? I get it now, Paige. It’s not going to work with us. You’ve made that way clear. I want this to be done.”

  She stood, too, then, slowly. Her big eyes brimmed with tears. “What, exactly, are you saying?” She whispered those words.

  “I’m saying you’re right. Us, getting married? Dumb idea.” He was lying. But what did it matter, whether he lied or told the truth? Either way, she refused to believe him. Either way, he’d messed everything up completely. They might as well get it over with. He might as well just do what she expected of him. “I want to take you home, pick up my dog and move on.”

  She looked at him
so hard. As if those big eyes could bore a hole in the center of his forehead. Her soft mouth quivered. But she didn’t say anything. He wanted to grab her and hold on so tight, she would never think of leaving him again.

  But he just couldn’t take it. All this hurt, all this feeling. This wasn’t going to work. And he needed to end it. Now.

  So he did. “Let’s just stay away from each other until after the holidays. Tell you what. Don’t come in Monday. Take a couple of weeks’ vacation, why don’t you? And then at the first of the year, we’ll take a meeting, talk about BCC and whether or not it’s really workable for you and me to be partners anymore.”

  She sucked in a shocked breath. He waited for her to argue, to do something impossible. Like maybe to fight for what they had.

  But she didn’t.

  He watched, hating himself, already starting to see all the ways he’d blown it, as she took off his ring and set it carefully on the coffee table. “All right, Carter,” she said. “Take me home now.”

  Chapter Twelve

  At Paige’s house, Carter waited outside.

  Paige went in alone. The house was quiet. The light under Dawn’s door meant the girls were probably still awake.

  Quietly—so they wouldn’t hear her, come out to investigate and start asking questions—Paige gathered up everything she could find of Carter’s and stuck it in a duffel she dug out of the closet. Then she put Sally on her leash and took the dog and the duffel out the front door.

  He was waiting for her, leaning against the driver’s door of the Cadillac, making her ache with yearning just at the sight of him. He accepted the big bag from her and went to toss it in the trunk as she put Sally in the backseat. Then he slid in behind the wheel again. She stood in the driveway and watched his taillights until he turned the corner and they disappeared.

  Inside, Biscuit was waiting by the front door. She took him out for a few minutes, then let him come upstairs with her. He hogged the bed, as usual. He also cuddled up close and tried to lick the tears off her cheeks as she cried.