When We Left

by Elena Aitken

  Evan’s mom took a step closer so she stood directly in front of Cam. “I may be an old lady,” she said. “But I’m not yet forgetful and I remember very much what things were like once between you and my son.”

  Something in the way she spoke told Cam she wasn’t referring to all the good times.

  “You were a good girl, Cam. And I’m sure you’re a good woman now. But sometimes that isn’t enough.”

  “I’m not sure I know what you’re talking about.”

  “You’re a mother now.” It wasn’t a question, but Cam nodded. “And I assume you’d do anything to make sure your child has the best opportunities.” A trail of ice slid down Cam’s spine, but she nodded nonetheless. “I thought so,” Lorraine continued. “So you can understand how I will always look out for Evan, no matter what?” She didn’t wait for Cam’s acknowledgment before she continued. “Which is why I knew you’d only hold him back.” Cam gasped a breath as if she’d been punched in the gut. “Just the way I know it now. Not everyone saw it in him when he was a boy, but Evan was always destined for great things. He’s achieved a lot, but he’s not done yet.”

  “No,” Cam said with a nervous laugh. “I’m sure he’s not.”

  “Exactly.” Lorraine nodded curtly. “Which is why he needs his freedom. He’s worked too hard. It’s not the right time for him to be tied down. It wasn’t then, and it isn’t now. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

  Confusion swirled through her head. Cam gripped the side of the building to keep the ground from spinning around her. She shook her head. “No,” she managed to say. “I’m afraid I don’t.”

  “You’re a good girl, Cam. It’s not personal.” Lorraine’s face was a twisted mess of emotions. “It never was.”

  Before Cam could react, Lorraine turned and walked away. A moment later, her friends rejoined her. She tried to look past them to see where the woman had disappeared to, but she couldn’t spot her.

  “Was that Evan’s mom?” Drew handed her a cup of coffee.

  Cam nodded.

  “I bet you haven’t seen her in ages.”

  Cam shook her head. “That was the strangest thing.” She stared down the street and blinked hard as she tried to process everything Lorraine had said.

  “What was?” The women had started to walk back toward Christy’s house, just off the main street of town.

  “I don’t even know how to explain it.” Cam took a sip of her coffee and let the liquid warm the chill that had settled over her. She shook her head again, and cleared the negativity. “It’s nothing.” She forced a smile to her face. “Let’s go take care of the balloons. I still can’t believe you ordered so many.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  After his afternoon with Morgan, Evan was on top of the world. He knew he still had a long way to go, including a ton of education, before he could properly counsel kids, but his breakthrough—or at least what he felt was a breakthrough—with Morgan could only be a good sign. He was on the right track.

  Working with kids was his calling.

  He loved being a police officer, but working with kids…making a difference…that would be something else.

  “You should have seen it,” he told Ben. They were stringing an endless amount of helium-filled balloons into arches. Christy had somehow sucked them into the job, which, judging by the quantity of balloons that kept coming into the high school gymnasium, could potentially go on well into the night. “It was a real moment.”

  Ben chuckled. “I’m not even going to pretend that I understand. The last time I had a real conversation with a teenager, I was one.”

  “You’ll understand one day.” Evan handed Ben a blue balloon. “We need more blue on that row. Don’t you ever think about it?”

  “About teenagers? I’m not following this conversation anymore.”

  “No.” Evan laughed. “Well, yes. I mean kids in general.”

  “Like having them?”

  “Yeah.” Evan rolled his eyes. “Like having them.” It had been something he’d been thinking of more and more since Cam had come back into his life. It had been in the back of his head, definitely, but despite the timeline, he didn’t believe that Morgan could be his. Not really. Cam would have told him. He knew that in his heart. But it didn’t mean he couldn’t be there for her now. He wanted to be there. For both of them. And maybe…one day…kids of his own.

  “No way,” Ben said. “It’s not for me. Never was.”

  Evan eyed his buddy. They’d been best friends their entire life, and Evan had never known Ben to date. Not really. He’d had a few short-lived relationships through the years, but there’d been no one who’d captured him. Not since high school and Drew Frederick. She’d been the only one to turn Ben’s head. Ben was secretly in love with Drew from the time they were in the second grade, but as far as she was concerned, he’d never been more than a good friend. He would have done anything for her back then. And he did. Including promising her that he’d tell his older brother Eric that she had a crush on him.

  Evan remembered the day well. He’d been sworn to secrecy. It was Valentine’s Day in their junior year when Drew came to Ben and begged him to tell Eric, who was two years older, that it was her who’d left the little stuffed teddy bear on his desk in homeroom. Ben did it, even though Evan knew he would have rather punched his brother in the face. That night Eric called Drew, asked her out and they dated until finally, a year after Drew graduated, he asked her to marry him and Ben had lost his chance forever.

  “Have you seen her?” Evan asked his friend now. “Drew, I mean.”

  “I know who you mean.” He snatched the balloon out of Evan’s hand and shoved it into the display before reaching for another one. “And no. I haven’t. Eric called the other day, but I didn’t answer.”

  Although it had never been spoken of, Eric’s relationship with Drew had driven a wedge between the brothers. After the new couple had married and moved south, Ben had let their relationship all but drop off.

  “I don’t think Eric came.”

  That caused Ben to look down, but he didn’t say anything.

  “All of that was a lifetime ago,” Evan said. “And you never know what the future can bring. It’s never too late for love. Look at me and Cam.”

  Obviously eager for a subject change, Ben asked, “What’s going on there? What did she say about school?”

  Evan swallowed hard.

  “You haven’t told her yet, have you? You’re such a chicken shit.”

  “It’s not that.”

  “No?”

  “I’m telling her tonight. In fact, I should get going. I promised her I’d pick up a pizza and bring it over. Apparently she met Steph at the salon today and well…I hear Cam got a new haircut.”

  Ben laughed and climbed down from the ladder. “No shit? I bet that didn’t go well.”

  “Steph was never going to be…”

  “Cam?” Ben punched him in the arm. “Go. I’ll finish this. But make sure you tell her.” Evan started to walk away, but he didn’t miss Ben calling after him. “I mean it, Evan. Tell her.”

  Cam’s day couldn’t get much worse, so with a few minutes before Evan had promised to come by with pizza, and Morgan tucked into her bedroom doing whatever it was she did in there with her earbuds shoved into her ears, Cam finally reached under the stack of books and magazines where she’d hidden the divorce papers.

  She stared a long moment at the yellow manila envelope that contained the paperwork that would signify the end of her marriage. She sighed and dropped her head.

  It was an indescribable feeling to hold such papers. She didn’t know what she was supposed to feel.

  Things hadn’t always been bad between her and Ryan. When they’d first met, she’d been swept up by his charm and charisma. Everyone would turn and look when they walked into a room. When he spoke, he commanded the attention of everyone in the room and everyone wanted to be around him, be friends with him and just bask in the glow of who
he was. And he’d chosen her.

  Those early days, Cam had felt so loved and protected and…wanted.

  It was everything she’d needed. She probably shouldn’t have rushed into a relationship right away, and it wasn’t really her intention. Not at all. But she also hadn’t intended to get pregnant. After that, there hadn’t been a lot of choices. Besides, things could have been worse than marrying an up-and-coming journalist with his sights on the news desk. And he wanted her.

  Evan didn’t.

  That was how she’d justified her choices anyway. She’d been young, scared, and heartbroken. Ryan came along when she needed him and then there was Morgan.

  Cam ripped open the envelope and drew the papers out slowly. She took another deep breath and sat at the table. She’d been avoiding her lawyer’s calls for weeks. It was time to get it finished up.

  She flipped through the first few pages of the document that outlined their marriage: the date, location. A wave of unexpected sadness hit her and a tear dropped to the page, leaving a wet stain.

  Cam had never intended for her life to turn out like this. Divorced in her thirties, a single mom. It didn’t seem real.

  But it was.

  And she knew it was the right thing. Besides that, it was the only thing.

  She took a deep breath, wiped her eyes and resumed reading.

  Cam read through everything once. Then, with her hands shaking, again.

  And then she picked up the phone and called her lawyer.

  “I’ve been trying to reach you.”

  “He can’t do this.”

  “He can.”

  “No.” Cam shook her head and stared at the papers she’d shoved to the other end of the table as if they were radioactive. “He can’t do this to her.” She glanced at the closed bedroom door.

  “We can set it up like a regular doctor’s appointment, Cam. She doesn’t have to know.”

  Cam’s heart fractured into a million pieces at the thought of her daughter ever finding out that her father was demanding a paternity test before he’d pay child support. It would break her. She shook her head and dropped her face into her free hand.

  “But that’s not everything, Cam. You need to be prepared for what will happen if Ryan is not the father.”

  “He is!” Her head snapped up and she lowered her voice. “Of course he is,” she hissed into the phone. “I would never have…no. Ryan is the father.”

  Once upon a time, she’d tried to convince herself that he wasn’t the father and Evan was. It was a game she’d played with herself on the lonely nights when Ryan was working late, or…doing whatever he was doing. She’d rock baby Morgan, stare into her eyes and try to will them to be the same beautiful shade of green that Evan’s were. She’d stare at her perfect little face and wish for something that could never be because it wasn’t true.

  She was sure of it.

  “How could he even think something like that?”

  But even as she spoke the words, she knew exactly how Ryan might have drawn that conclusion. It had never been a secret that Evan was her first love and Ryan knew the timeline was tight. She’d never tried to hide it. But she would never have deceived him. Or Evan.

  “Bring her in,” her lawyer said. “We’ll set it up.” Cam wrote down the lawyer’s instructions and appointment times, and tucked the piece of paper into the envelope along with the offending papers.

  She’d been right to ignore them.

  “This was nice.”

  Evan wrapped his arm around Cam on the couch and pulled her close. He’d brought over pizza, just like he’d promised, and a bottle of wine for good measure. Morgan had joined them to eat, and happily, her good mood from earlier had continued into the evening. She’d even cracked a few jokes over the table. But despite the easy atmosphere, Cam had seemed distracted and distant.

  He was pretty sure he knew why, and he’d been waiting until Morgan retreated back to the privacy of her bedroom before he said anything. He kissed the side of her head. “I like your hair.”

  She shook her head. “I’ll be honest, it’s not exactly what I was going for. But it’s not terrible.”

  “It’s not terrible at all.” Evan leaned forward and grabbed the bottle of wine so he could top up her glass. “She may not be good at hiding her jealousy, but she is a good stylist.”

  That made Cam laugh. “True. I think she was trying to piss me off, but in the end, her pride at doing a good job won out. Lucky for me.”

  “I really do like it,” he said truthfully. “I hope it wasn’t too strange to run into her. I probably should have warned you.”

  “Warned?” Cam raised an eyebrow. “Like, is she unstable or something? Will she come after me with her scissors again?”

  “No.” He laughed. “Nothing like that. It’s just…Steph always thought we were more serious than we ever were. I was always really upfront with her, but I think secretly she was hoping that one day I’d change my mind and…”

  “You’d get married?”

  He shrugged. But that was exactly it. He’d never thought of Stephanie as more than a fling. He liked her and they had a good time together, but it had never been serious. Not for him anyway. There was only one woman he would ever have considered marrying, and she was sitting in front of him.

  He didn’t tell her that.

  “Anyway, it was never a big thing. And it’s totally over. “

  “Well, I hope so.” She smiled, but it still didn’t reach her eyes. “Considering that…” She used her finger to gesture between them. “But really, it’s all good. I’m not bothered by it. I think I can handle an ex-girlfriend. I’m a big girl.”

  “You are.” He kissed her and let his lips linger on hers for a moment before he pulled away. “Are you okay tonight? You seem a little distracted. I thought maybe it was the whole haircut thing, but…is everything okay?”

  “It is.” She smiled. “It was. But it’s fine. I’m fine. Honestly. It’s just been a really crazy few days.”

  Evan sat back and examined her. There’d been a time when he would have known just by looking at her whether she was keeping something from him or not. That was no longer the case. But it was still early days in their rekindled relationship, so he wouldn’t push her.

  “Well, it doesn’t have to be crazy right now. Come here.” He gestured to the space between his legs so she could position herself for a shoulder rub. She snuggled in and Evan went to work releasing some of the tension from her shoulders. Cam closed her eyes and every once in a while there was a moan of pleasure when he hit a particularly tight spot.

  He rubbed and massaged for a few minutes until he could feel her muscles relax. Her head dropped low and Evan looked past her to the coffee table and a stack of photos. “Are those yours?” He paused his rubbing and reached out to pick up the pictures.

  Cam’s eyes opened. “They’re nothing. I was just fooling around with some new techniques I’ve been wanting to try.”

  “They’re beautiful.” He meant it. “I honestly never would have thought to photograph that old broken-down fence like this. You have a real eye for it.”

  She shrugged, but he could tell she was pleased. “Can I show you something else?”

  “Of course.”

  She hopped up from the floor and retrieved her camera bag from the closet. “I haven’t had these ones printed yet, because I didn’t think I should. At least not yet.” Cam powered up her camera and set it to the slideshow function so Evan could flip through the shots.

  He didn’t say anything right away, looking first through all the pictures, and then flipping through them again quickly until he landed on his favorite. “These are amazing, Cam. I didn’t know you took portraits.”

  The camera was full of pictures of people, most of whom Evan recognized from around town. She’d captured her subjects in a wide array of human emotions. Some were laughing, some crying, some just looking pensive or deep in thought. The one thing Cam’s subjects had in common, howe
ver, was that they didn’t know they were being photographed.

  Evan turned the camera so that Cam could see his favorite picture. “This one is stunning.”

  She smiled sadly and nodded.

  “She’s so beautiful.” The picture was one of Morgan sitting at the kitchen table. Her head was tipped down, looking at whatever books were in front of her. Her hair fell over her face, partly shading her from the camera and although she looked to be studying, it was clear that she wasn’t. The look in her eyes was what caught Evan’s attention. At the young age of only fifteen, she looked like she’d already lived a lifetime.

  “She’s hurting so much,” Cam said. “I wish I could take it all away.”

  Evan put the camera down and pulled her close. He knew that feeling well. He’d seen the hurt in Cam’s eyes. The same pain and struggle that she saw in her daughter and more than anything, he wished he could take it away for her.

  They stayed that way for a few minutes. “Have you ever thought about doing this professionally? I mean, I know you talked about it as a kid, but…” He gestured to the camera on the couch cushions next to them. “You’re so talented. I think you could really make a go of it.”

  “Honestly? I have.”

  “Really?”

  She nodded and in that moment looked so young and excited, it brought back memories of the Cam he’d known so long ago.

  “When Morgan was born, Ryan bought me my first digital camera and I just couldn’t stop taking pictures. She was the perfect subject. And of course as she got older, I learned more and I didn’t just take pictures of her. I mean…” She laughed. “I took a lot of pictures of her. But I also started messing around with landscapes and macro images. I guess I always kind of dreamed that maybe I could sell some prints or even take pictures of other people’s babies. I love it. It’s felt really good to pick up my camera again. It got so busy with the move and everything, I kind of forgot how much I loved taking pictures.”

  “Why don’t you do it then?”

  “I am doing it.” She pointed to the camera and gave him a duh look.