by Elena Aitken
He rubbed his hands over his face, mussing his always impeccable hair. It was then that Cam noticed for the first time how tired he looked, as if he’d aged at least ten years in the last few months.
“This isn’t how I wanted everything to go down,” Ryan said. “I hope you know I never meant to hurt you and especially not Morgan.”
“You have a funny way of showing it. Because that’s exactly what you did.” Cam shook her head. “I’m not worried about myself, but Morgan…Ryan, you can’t just—”
“I know.” He held up a hand. “And I know she’s mine. I do. Of course she’s mine. I’ve always known. My lawyer insisted on this dumb test…I’m sorry to have to put you through it.”
“It was never necessary, Ryan. That’s the part that hurts the most.” But it wasn’t just Ryan who wasn’t sure about Morgan’s paternity and if she was honest with herself, that was what hurt the most.
“I know.” He reached out for her hand and then remembered himself. “And I’m sorry, Cam. I really am.” He closed his eyes and sighed. “She was the reason you stayed.”
Cam choked on the sip of coffee she’d just taken. It took her a moment to pull herself together. “Excuse me?”
“It was always him, Cam.” She didn’t even pretend to hide her shock of what he was saying. “I’m not stupid or blind. I was never going to measure up to him. And I stopped trying years ago.”
She shook her head. “Why would you say that? I never—”
“You didn’t have to.” Cam had never seen Ryan look so defeated. “I knew when we met you were heartbroken. I’d like to think I didn’t take advantage of you, but…well, that doesn’t matter now. I was never going to be him, Cam. And we both knew it. I also knew that you’d never leave me. Because of Morgan. You’re a good mother. You wouldn’t have done that to her.”
“That’s not…” She didn’t bother finishing the sentence.
“I’m sorry.” He nodded. “I’m sorry I wasn’t a better husband to you. I’m sorry I wasn’t the husband you deserved.” He dropped his head, and stared at the table top in front of them. When he looked up, his eyes glistened with unshed tears. She’d only seen Ryan cry once before, when his father died. “I’m sorry for so much,” he said. “None of this should have happened.” Cam wanted to say something, but she couldn’t think of a damned thing to say. He was right. Even if she didn’t want to admit it, even to herself, Ryan was right. She’d been in love with Evan, even on the day she married Ryan.
“I’m sorry, too,” she said after a minute. “It wasn’t fair of me. But I want you to know that I did love you. I mean, there was a time…”
“I know.” He nodded. “I loved you too.”
They stared at each other, a million things still unsaid.
Finally, Ryan sniffed and scrubbed at his face again. “Dammit, Cam. This is all such a mess and with Chastity and the baby…Christ. I swear I don’t know how it all got so…” He chuckled a little. “This is all new to me and I just don’t know…well, I’m trying to figure out how to balance everything and be a father to Morgan, a partner to Chastity, and a good dad to the new baby while still…well, working and…I know this is coming out of left field.”
“It is.” She wasn’t going to let him off the hook so easily.
“I’ve been an ass.”
“You have.”
He nodded and attempted a smile. “I deserved that.” She didn’t disagree. “But I need you to know that I’m trying to change. I’m going to change. For Morgan and the new baby. I need to be the father I never was. I know that now.”
“What changed?” He looked so vulnerable and sincere that more than anything she wanted to believe him, but a lot had happened between them. “Why now?”
He shrugged. “It’s time. It’s past time. And I know Morgan might never forgive me for not making her needs first and putting her through all this…” he waved his hand vaguely. “But I’m still going to try. She deserves better.”
She nodded. It was the first thing Cam could really agree with him on. “She does.”
“And I’m going to give it to her.” He sat up straight, but Cam could see the uncertainty in the way he held himself. “And, well…I could really use some advice.”
Cam looked at the man before her. The one she used to know so well. The one she’d shared so much of her life with. It was hard to reconcile the man she thought she knew with the one in front of her. There were still glimpses of the Ryan he’d been when they’d first married, but…he was different now. It was hard to look at him.
“I can’t be that person, Ryan.” She shook her head. “Not anymore.”
“No, I know.” He sat up and attempted a smile. “I guess I just thought we could be…well, that you and I could still be…”
“Friends?”
“Yes.” Relief washed over his face. “I miss you, Cam. I miss talking to you, bouncing ideas off you and being friends. We had a lot of good times, didn’t we?”
She nodded. “We did.” She smiled sadly because she missed him too. Not the cheating, lying version of him but the version of him that would sit up late and binge watch Netflix shows with her, the version who would lay on the floor with their daughter and draw pictures of horses for hours, the version of him that had surprised them with a trip to Disneyland when Morgan was five. Of course they had a lot of good memories. Despite it all, you didn’t stay married to someone for almost fifteen years, and not have good times. “But we can’t be friends, Ryan,” she said. “Not like we were. Not anymore.”
His face fell. “But—”
“It can’t be the same.” She shook her head. “But I do hope we can stay friendly. Especially for Morgan.” She glanced out to the patio where Morgan, still oblivious of the fact that her father was inside, now had her phone pressed to her ear, a smile on her face. “She’s been through a lot. She really needs her dad.”
Chapter Seventeen
It had been a long few days. After the results came in from the test, Ryan and Cam signed their papers together. They’d agreed on a fair divorce settlement that would mean money wouldn’t be quite so tight anymore and while she probably wouldn’t be able to quit her job, at least now there’d be a little breathing room.
True to his word, Ryan was trying to make an effort with his daughter, so Cam agreed to let Morgan spend the night with her dad. It was important for them to reconnect, and if Morgan was willing to forgive her dad for his absence, Cam was happy to allow them the time together. They had a long road of rebuilding a relationship in front of them.
There was no one from her old life in Portland she felt like calling. Besides, she needed the time alone to think about her next steps so she checked into a hotel and pampered herself with a long bubble bath and a glass of red wine, alone.
In the end, Cam didn’t spend much time thinking about anything. She fell into a deep sleep and woke up late. There was one conclusion she had made, however. No matter what, Cam and Morgan were going to stay in Timber Creek. There’d never been anywhere else that felt like home, and it was time she put down some real roots for both of them.
The next morning, after picking up Morgan, Cam took her time making the drive back to Timber Creek. It was a beautiful day, so close to the edge of summer, with a bright blue sky and the sun warming her arm through the window.
“How long till we get there?” Her daughter looked up from her phone.
Apparently Morgan didn’t share her desire to take their time. “Are you in a hurry?”
“Kinda.” She shrugged and looked back at her phone.
“Are you going to tell me why?” Cam kept her tone light, but didn’t increase her speed.
“Well…” Morgan put her phone down. “I know I might still be in trouble, but I was kind of hoping that I could meet up with Trent for a little bit. He was really worried about me, and he actually wants to meet you properly because he feels partly responsible for—”
“What happened wasn’t Trent’s fault.” Cam believed it, too.
She’d done a lot of thinking about what Evan had said, about kids being kids. And although she didn’t totally believe that all teenagers got into trouble, got drunk, and went skinny-dipping, she did believe that some did. And it didn’t make them bad kids. It wasn’t an easy conclusion to come to, but she was trying. And Cam knew that for all of their similarities, Morgan was a different person than she’d been when she was a teenager. For better or worse, she was going to make different choices. “And yes,” she said to Morgan. “I’d really like the opportunity to meet him.”
Her daughter’s face broke into a wide smile. “Really? He’s a nice guy. Honestly. And he’s on the basketball team at school. You’ll like him. He…”
Morgan chatted on about her new boyfriend, not leaving any detail out as she filled Cam in on everything she might need to know about the boy, and a lot of things she probably didn’t. Cam didn’t mind, though. Morgan was happy, and she was letting Cam into her life. Those two details were all that mattered.
For the rest of the drive, they took turns picking songs on the radio and singing loudly out of tune. By the time they rolled past the sign announcing their arrival in Timber Creek, Cam was happy but exhausted. All she wanted to do was pick up something for dinner and crash on the couch for the rest of the evening.
But Morgan had other plans.
“So, it’s okay if I see Trent tonight?”
“It is.” Cam nodded. “But you have school tomorrow, so not too late.”
“Yeah. Sure.” Morgan nodded absentmindedly as she was frantically tapping something into her cell phone. “Can you drop me off on Main Street? He’s going to meet me there.”
“Now?”
“Yeah.” Morgan looked at her. “That’s cool, right? Just across from the store.”
“That’s awfully specific.” Cam stifled a yawn and shook her head in defeat. “Whatever.” It would only take a minute. Besides, she could run into the grocery store and grab something for dinner. She steered the car to the right instead of going straight and made her way to the center of town.
“Just park here.” Morgan jabbed her finger to an open spot. “It’s right here.”
“What’s right here?” Cam put the car in park and eyed her daughter, who was acting stranger by the minute.
“Come on.”
“On your date?”
Morgan didn’t answer her because she was already out of the car and staring at the vacant storefront they’d parked in front of. Only it wasn’t vacant. Cam’s eyes widened at what she saw. There was no way.
Slowly, she made her way out of the car, never taking her eyes off the storefront and the display that occupied the window.
“What is…why is my…Morgan? What is this?” She looked to her daughter, who smiled wider than Cam could remember ever seeing.
“Do you like it?”
Cam’s eyes floated back to the display that consisted of four oversized easels. Three of the easels held a print of one of her photographs propped up on them for the entire town to see; the fourth read: Cam Riley Photography . She’d never seen her pictures in such a large format before. They took her breath away. Cam’s hand floated to her mouth and she took a step closer.
“How did this happen?”
Morgan ignored her question. “Do you like it?”
Cam nodded and took another step forward toward the storefront. “I don’t understand.”
“Maybe I can explain.”
She turned to see Evan behind her. Her stomach did a weird flip thing that only annoyed her because she was still mad at him. No, not mad. Hurt.
“How did you…” She shook her head. There were too many questions. Too many things she needed to know about what she was looking at. But one question took precedence. “Why?” she asked. “Why did you do this?”
Evan’s face transformed into a small, sad smile. “That’s simple,” he said. “I needed to show you how amazing your work is. I wanted to show you that your dreams can come true.”
She shook her head and resumed staring at the photos in front of her. “I don’t even know what my dreams are anymore.”
He held out a hand. “Maybe this is a good place to start.”
Evan didn’t know whether she was going to take his hand or not, but more than anything, he wanted her to. He needed her to. He couldn’t stand the distance between them. He’d let that distance separate them once before, and he’d be damned if he would let it happen again.
He held his hand out in the space between them for what felt like an eternity before she took it. The second her skin touched his, the cold space inside him that had been present since their argument warmed. He wrapped his fingers around hers and squeezed.
“I know you’re upset,” he said. “And you should be. But right now, I just want this to be about you. Give me twenty minutes and then if you want to leave, you can. But if you want to yell at me, cry, whatever…that’s okay, too.”
He thought he saw a glimmer of a smile. She narrowed her eyes. “Twenty minutes?”
“Twenty minutes. I promise.”
She nodded and Evan didn’t hesitate. He looked over his shoulder and winked at Morgan, who’d been watching and waiting. She’d played her role in getting her mom there perfectly. He owed her. But first, Evan needed to convince Cam that not only was he not going anywhere this time, when it came to her, he was all in. No matter what.
“I want to show you something.” Evan led the way into the store. It had been vacant for the last six months, after the owners of the pottery studio had moved out of state. Evan had called in a few favors and with the help of Cam’s friends, had somehow made a miracle happen in the last twenty-four hours.
Junky had let him into Cam’s little apartment, which was breaking so many laws that Evan didn’t know where to start. But he’d managed to convince him that it was important and Cam wouldn’t mind. He hoped that was true.
He’d found her camera bag, which luckily she hadn’t taken with her to the city, and scoured through half a dozen memory cards, choosing his favorite photos from hundreds of great shots. Christy had secured the use of some art easels from the school, and Amber had worked her negotiating skills with the property owner to let them use the space for two weeks for a few hundred dollars.
Drew sweet-talked the print shop in town into doing a rush print job on the photos and Ben had provided trays of finger foods for the event. And it was an event. As they walked through the doors, Cam was greeted by friends and neighbors who were all there to celebrate her and her photos, which were worthy of celebrating in their own right. Evan knew she was talented, but seeing her prints blown up, framed and hanging throughout the space, brought them to life in a new way, and gave Evan an entirely new appreciation for just how talented Cam really was.
“What is—” Cam came to a full stop and brought her free hand to her mouth. She looked at Evan. “I still don’t understand, Evan. Why are all my pictures…these people…what’s going on?”
“I wanted to show you that your dream can come true, Cam. You’re so talented that your photos deserve to be seen. I know you didn’t believe me when I told you that you were talented enough to do this for a living. I needed to show you.”
“But this…” She looked around the space, taking it all in. The photos on the wall, the people milling about admiring them. Everything.
“This is it, Cam.”
Right then, their presence was noticed. Someone started clapping and soon the entire room joined in. Evan squeezed her hand once more before he let go. Cam needed to soak in the moment on her own. She’d earned it and she deserved it.
He took a step back as her friends descended upon her to offer her congratulations, and soon Cam was swept up in the crowd. There were no prices on the pictures, because Evan had no idea how to set such a thing up, but Christy had started making a list of people who were interested in purchasing pieces, and even more exciting, people who were requesting their own photo shoots.
“I can’t believe you
pulled it off.” Ben walked up and handed him a beer. “Cheers.” They clinked bottles and Evan drank deep.
“This is all her.”
The two friends stood silently, drinking their beers and watching. Evan kept his eyes on Cam but he didn’t miss the way his friend was watching Drew.
“What’s going on there?” he asked after a moment.
“Same old.” Ben shrugged. “She’s still married to my brother.”
Evan stared at his friend. Ben rarely referred to the past in such a way.
“But I think something’s wrong,” Ben said.
“What do you mean?”
“She seems different. Quiet.”
“Have you talked to her?”
“Once or twice.” Ben took a drink of his beer. “I think maybe it’s time I returned my brother’s call though.”
Evan didn’t bother trying to hide his surprise. “Really? Why now?”
“Just a feeling,” Ben said. “Like I said, something isn’t right.”
Evan didn’t push, and Ben didn’t offer any more information. He knew his buddy well enough to know that he’d talk when he was ready, and not a minute earlier.
“So, what about you?” Ben asked. “You made Cam’s dream come true. What about yours?”
“She is my dream come true.”
Ben laughed. “Yeah, I get that. I meant what about school? When do you leave?”
“I don’t.” Evan glanced at his watch. “But I think Cam should be the first one I talk to about that.” He put his empty beer bottle on a nearby table, excused himself and went to interrupt Cam. Her twenty minutes were up.
“Excuse me.” Evan appeared at her side and cupped her elbow gently in his hand. “I promised you twenty minutes,” he said. “Can I borrow you for a second?”
She nodded, thanked the couple she was talking to, and allowed Evan to lead her out the back door of the makeshift gallery.
Cam’s head was still spinning with everything that had happened in such a short time. Evan had created a gallery. A gallery. Of her work. It was still so much to take in and wrap her head around.