9 Ways to Fall in Love

by Caroline Clemmons

  The food was fantastic and by far the best filet I’d ever eaten. Bliss was a quaint place to go, beautiful inside and out, with patio dining that include a big firescape, all with a nice view of the river.

  Back at the hotel room, we were both full and exhausted. It was rare for us to go to bed without sex, but tonight, both of us were beyond spent and neither of us made a move towards the other. It didn’t take five seconds, and I was out. I can’t say the same for Grayson, because I vaguely remember him muttering something, but by then, exhaustion from the last few weeks grabbed me. I slept so long and hard, that when I woke up I was startled, not knowing where I was for a moment.

  I searched for the clock and saw that it was eleven o’clock in the morning. I flew out of bed. Good thing I didn’t have to work the booth that day or I would’ve been in so much trouble.

  Grayson was in his suit already, since his lecture was after lunch. “Can you join me for lunch before my talk?” he asked while looking at the clock.

  “Yep, I’ll make it. Why did you let me sleep so long?” I was puzzled.

  “Because I just woke up myself and I knew you needed the rest. I was just about to wake you.”

  I scrambled to get ready and join him for lunch. We looked like a power couple, both of us in grey business suits, matching by coincidence. He had the yellow tie on from our wedding. I noticed it immediately. We chatted about the itinerary of the day. Of course, I was going to attend his lecture on the latest modern technologies. We had a full evening planned, too, with other physicians attending our dinner held at a local sushi place. It seemed like a strange choice for a town known for Mexican food, but it wasn’t my call.

  Something was eerie about the day. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but maybe it was that he was all business and not lovey-dovey with me at all, he even seemed distant, somewhere far away. The conference lasted for several days, which kept us busy from sun up to well after sun down, but we had a good time in San Antonio. We even took a dinner cruise on the river with some clients. It was a good time, but we were both ready to be home for a while and it was getting close to the holidays. I needed shopping time.

  On the way home, he was very quiet. He reached up to open the sunroof when I caught the view of the tattoo on his forearm. “Tell me the story of this tattoo?” I asked while running my finger down his arm.

  “You don’t want to know this story, Alexandra, trust me.”

  “I want to know and embrace everything about you. I don’t understand what you don’t tell me.”

  “Fine, but you asked.” He took in a deep breath and let it out in a huff. “I was home on leave from the Army. I went over to Harrison’s place and met Olivia. We instantly hit it off. A couple days before I shipped out, she came to see me and had bruises all over her. She said that she got the bruises playing around. She didn’t say Harrison did it, but I thought he did. Little did I know, they had broken up and she was doing crazy things at some sex party? Needless to say, we hooked up and became a couple. She came to visit me on several occasions over the next few months while I was in Germany, before my unit went to Afghanistan. While I was over there, she miscarried our little boy. She named him Ama, short for Amadeus after her father, and buried him before I could get cleared to come back. You understand the pain of the loss. That was when we became engaged. You know the rest of the story. It’s behind us, Alex. Like I said before, tattoos are great, but they’re forever, and sometimes it’s hard to see it.” His mood was somber. He stared out the windshield.

  I used the rest of the drive to catch up with Dad. They were all moved into the Rockwall house, but it had taken longer than they thought unloading all the boxes. He wanted us to wait and come out for lunch in a couple of days.

  That left my calendar open on Saturday, so I phoned Monica to see if she was available to do some Christmas shopping. She was, in fact, and wanted to know where to get some ski clothes. Harrison had a quick trip for work planned the next week and wanted to take her along, and told her they could get in a couple of days of skiing. I knew what that was all about! He was going to propose. I was giddy with excitement and I didn’t know how I was going to keep it from her! But I still wanted to ask her about her conversation with Harrison on the island and what she did and did not tell him.

  Monica and I met up early, making a run to Starbucks before going to a ski shop in McKinney. Keeping the secret all day long was going to be brutal! She had no clue!

  I tried to see what her thoughts were about the trip by staging my own little phishing expedition. She mentioned wanting to shop for some new lingerie and I agreed that would be a perfect idea, so we ventured off to look for our favorite La Perla fine lingerie pieces.

  “I’ve been wondering, how did Harrison react when you had that talk with him?”

  “I didn’t tell him everything, Alex. I told him about Stuart cheating, but I chickened out when it came to telling him about not being able to have kids. I don’t know what to do, I’m scared. I’ve got to tell him, maybe I’ll have the courage next week while we’re away.” She wiped at tear escaping the corner of her eye. Her face showed that she was disappointed in herself for not being honest.

  I gave her a big hug. “Just be honest with him, he loves you.”

  I knew that she was going to be shocked that next week with his proposal. I just hoped that he wasn’t rushing things for the wrong reason, just to keep up with his twin. There was always a sense of competition between those two.

  We made a full day of shopping and when I finally got back to the apartment, I had the back of my car full of Christmas trimmings and gifts. I didn’t buy a tree, I wanted Grayson and I to buy our first one together.

  Strangely, when I got home, he wasn’t there, and he hadn’t left a note. In fact, he hadn’t called or texted all day. Something was way off and I couldn’t put my finger on it. When I tried to reach his cell, it went straight to voice mail. I called the back line to the office and he didn’t answer, so he wasn’t there doing paperwork either. Where was he? I checked in with Cooper, but he hadn’t seen him either. That’s when I became worried.

  I tried busying myself unpacking all of my purchases. I had bags and wrapping paper everywhere. Some time had passed when I heard my phone buzzing. “Hey babe, where’ve you been? I have been trying to reach you.”

  “Sorry, angel, your dad called me to come over and help at the Rockwall house. Did you know they had four freight liners full of stuff? JEEZ! Somehow, I managed to lose my phone in those millions of boxes. We finally found it, but they are nowhere ready for a get together tomorrow so we are brunching out somewhere. I’m on my way home, but I’m beat. I don’t even need to stop at the gym. I got enough of a workout for a week. Did you have a good girl-day out with Monica?” He sounded winded and exhausted. Just my freakin’ luck he’d be worn out when I was frisky and needing him, especially since I had picked up some new lingerie for myself and wanted to try it out that night.

  “Yep, it was a totally productive day. Monica got her ski clothes, but she has no clue what he has planned and I didn’t slip, I swear. I got Christmas covered for the most part, but we don’t have a tree. I thought we could pick that out together, but if you’re too tired, we can do it tomorrow maybe?” I masked my disappointment since I knew he was just being a great son-in-law.

  “Sorry, angel. I hadn’t even thought about our first tree. I love real trees, but don’t like the fire risk. If you can overlook an artificial tree, we can go get one when I get home in about twenty minutes. If I know you, you’re dying to get decorations going, right?” He laughed softly, but he knew me too well.

  I had no sooner gotten off the phone with him than he showed up looking like he had been beaten by an angry box. Moving a house of my dad’s size was an undertaking and they didn’t bring even everything with them from Chicago. Grayson grabbed a quick shower while I tidied up my mess of gifts and decorations, then we made the trip up to a sweet store that specializes in just Christmas. We, or mayb
e I, had just entered Christmas decorating heaven.

  “Don’t get any crazy ideas, Alexandra, our apartment is small and we’re short on time since Christmas is only two weeks away. I can see the wheels turning in your brain. Save those ideas for our first house next year. Find a tree you like, but one that will fit!” He grinned, so I knew he was enjoying the store just as much as me. We walked around talking about the decorations that we both liked. Our tastes were similar on some things and way off on others. I only liked clear lights and he only wanted colors. We discussed what we wanted for our first home and how it would be decorated the next year. We finally found the tree that we both liked and decided to grab dinner before going home.

  While we were eating, I couldn’t hold my concerns back any longer. “Something feels off with us since we returned from Bora Bora and I can’t put my finger on it. What is it?” I couldn’t eat. I just wanted his attention for a moment.

  “Well, I was just being professional around the company folks, so I tried hard to keep my hands off you,” he said with a smile, but he wasn’t very convincing. No one had been around in our hotel room in San Antonio. I wasn’t letting him off the hook.

  “Maybe at dinner, I could buy that, but we’ve made love only once since we got back from the islands. What’s wrong?”

  “It’s been a busy week, Alexandra. You’re reading too much into things. We’re fine.” He quickly paid the check and we made our way home, but he was hiding something from me, I was certain of it.

  We unloaded the tree and he helped me assemble it, both of us thankful that it was pre-lit. I fussed with ribbon and bows, feathers and ornaments and before long, I had what I thought looked like a designer Christmas tree. My first tree since my last Christmas with my mom. He watched TV and just admired all the decorating, but he wanted no part of ribbon. He did actually help hang some of the ornaments on the very top, but that was the extent of it.

  Since I couldn’t get a dime’s worth of attention from him, I decided maybe I would break out some wine and enjoy a good book in bed. I put on my new lingerie just in case he caved and decided to join me. A couple of hours passed and I finally had enough of being ignored. Not that I’m high maintenance in the attention department, but seriously, we’d been married all of a few weeks. What does it take for a girl to get lucky?

  I sneaked out to the den to find him asleep on the sofa. The ornery side of me wanted to just let him sleep here, maybe even get a crick in his neck for rebuking me, but I loved Mr. Crankpot, so I woke him up and told him to come to bed. He didn’t even notice that I had something new on as he climbed into bed and passed out on me.

  I didn’t sleep well; anger can keep a person awake most of the night. Something was going on and I had to get to the bottom of it. I could always tell when he was holding back. I slipped out of bed early in the morning, dressing quietly for a good morning run. The crisp December air was very refreshing and I was glad that my stamina had returned. It was a good time to clear my thoughts, although Grayson had me in a puddle of confusion. My heart felt the pangs of rejection, although I tried to convince myself it wasn’t rejection. It’s not like he said no, but he was always advancing in that direction. Somehow, I realized that I’d left my new lingerie in the bathroom.

  On second thought, maybe that would give him something to think about, seeing that he missed out.

  He was dressed and reading the paper when I got home. He wasn’t, however, in a better mood. “I went to sleep on you last night,” he said, just looking at me.

  “That’s it, that’s all I get? Really?” My eyes were shooting daggers, my jaw clenched in frustration. “Grayson, you more than went to sleep on me, you’ve been somewhere else for the last week and a half. We’ve made love once. You’re about as distant as an unhappy roommate. I want to know what’s going on, and I want the truth this time.” By then I was full blown angry.

  He broke down. I saw the tears before I heard his voice, “Millie has cancer, angel. She doesn’t know it yet, but her chances of recovery are slim. I got the call about her test results on the way down to San Antonio. I know this doesn’t have anything to do with you and me, but my mind has been elsewhere. It’s not just that she’s worked in my practice from day one, she’s more than employee, and she’s like a mother to me.” His face crumpled from sadness. His eyes flooded as he swiped at them.

  “Oh my god, Grayson, I’m so sorry. Here I’m being a selfish brat, only thinking of myself and whining about what I want.” I went to him and held him to my chest, “How much does she know?” I kissed the top of his head.

  “She knows about the colon cancer. What she doesn’t know is that we could see tumors all over her liver on the CT scan. Her treatment is going to be really rough. She’s been in good health otherwise, but she won’t be able to keep working with the treatment regimen in front of her.” He just shook his head.

  “So you’re going to need to hire someone at the office sooner, rather than later?” I was a troubleshooter by nature, already thinking about a plan to help.

  “Yes, but I don’t want her to think I’m hiring her replacement. I need her to believe that it’s help for her because she’s so valuable. My heart is breaking for her. I can’t stop thinking about her. I’m sorry, I just couldn’t open up and tell you. I’m really, really sorry. Sometimes, being married to a doctor isn’t all that fun.”

  “First, your compassion for people is what drew me to you in the first place. I wish you would share your emotions with me instead of pushing me away. But I think I can help out. I’ll work out of your office if that’s okay. I can do most of my conference calls on the days you are in surgery. I can assist with procedures, filing insurance, and such. We’ll make it work, that way, she’ll just think that we’re doing this to help her until she’s back on her feet?”

  “You truly are an amazing woman. She won’t think that I’m replacing her if you’re there. You and Zoe get along great and you can keep all the cute reps away with no problem.” He finally smiled weakly, and I knew what he meant.

  “You mean all those evil plastics don’t you?” I smirked. That part really made me happy! Plus I could spend extra time with him, which was nice.

  “By the way, I noticed that there was something in the bathroom that I haven’t seen before. Care to explain?” He stood up and began to pull my arm towards the bedroom.

  “Well, if you hadn’t gone to sleep on me, you might have gotten to see that little number in action! I had it on last night when I found you on the couch. I know our honeymoon is over, but I’m kind of starting to wonder what it takes to get laid around here?” I lifted an eyebrow at him suggestively.

  “Is that right?” he asked, his voice muffled as he pulled me close to him and nuzzled my neck. “Hmm, well then, if you put that hot little number back on for me tonight, I promise to show you some action.”

  Finally, my frisky husband had returned.

  Chapter 16

  “Hey you, how’s the packing going?”

  Monica started to cry. “We aren’t going to Aspen. We got in a fight about Stuart and Harrison left last night for an emergency business trip to London.” Her voice shattered my heart into a million pieces.

  “What was the fight really about?”

  “Stuart and I had bought a piece of land together over a year ago. We were saving to build a house on it. He’s been calling quite a bit, wanting to sell it. I finally gave in to meet him for lunch to discuss it and bumped into Harrison and one of his clients having lunch. He was furious. He accused me of cheating. We had a big fight in the parking lot and he left. He’s gone, Alex, without accepting my explanation or talking to Stuart.”

  “He’ll calm down while he’s away. I’m sure it will be okay. Do you want to get together, later?”

  “I guess so. I’ll call you before I head that way.”

  After we hung up, I spent some time thinking about Monica and Harrison and I felt that he was treating her like Olivia. He’d been burned before a
nd this wasn’t going to be an easy fix.

  ***

  The New Year arrived quicker than any of us were ready for, but with working at PMC, helping at the office and spending time consoling Monica, where was the down time? Cooper and I had only been able to get together a couple of times for lunch when he was in town. He’d been shooting a new spring line for menswear in Italy.

  Grayson and I seemed to be on the right track as far as the intimacy that I desired, but apparently Mother Nature was not being kind. She delivered my monthly gift right before Christmas. I didn’t appreciate the timing! At least it was over with before New Year’s Eve so that we could enjoy a fun night out. Grayson kept reassuring me that things were completely normal with my cycle and the more we thought about a baby or focused on trying, the harder it would be to become pregnant. I had plenty of other vices to focus on and tried to put it in the back of my mind.

  “Have you spoken with Harrison in the last couple of days?”

  “I just talked to him about twenty minutes ago. He’s still in London.”

  “What’s with him, Grayson?” I was pissed at his behavior. He just ended it and left, so she moved all of her things back to Cooper’s apartment.

  “He had some urgent business there. But I think there’s more to it than that.” He was gazing about me with his vibrant blue eyes.

  “All I know is what she told me about the land and that she met Stuart for lunch. That’s when she bumped into him. I don’t know why he didn’t listen to her.”

  I thought for certain that Grayson was picking me for clues, but I knew nothing other than the Stuart issue and the part about her not being able to have children, which I was certain Harrison still didn’t know about.

  “Monica doesn’t have a clue as to why he left. He packed a bunch of clothes, sat her down and said that things weren’t working for him. He thought she hadn’t actually ended things with Stuart and he couldn’t live like that.”