by Joan Fleming
‘That must be quite a skillful job?’ Anna asked.
‘Yes, there are some who are better at stacking than others,’ she said. ‘But George is a grand stacker. And Finn’s coming on as well.’
Anna jerked in her chair at the mention of Finn’s name. She had made no connection between Finn and Janet up to this point, although she knew George and Finn were friends. Or acquaintances.
George brought through a tray, set out with three china mugs and a plate of biscuits.
‘There’s cake in the kitchen, too – baked by you, Janet?’ he said.
‘Yes, my customary sponge cake, George. With home-made strawberry jam. I’m not an ambitious baker, Anna, as some women are on the island.’ She smiled as George put the cake on the table. ‘Would you like a piece, Anna?’
‘Yes, thank you. It smells lovely.’
Over tea, the three of them carried on chatting, carefully keeping the subject matter light and avoiding any issues which might prove stressful.
Once they were finished, George got to his feet. ‘I’m sure you two have lots to talk about. I’ll clear the tea things, then I might go for a walk for half an hour.’
Finally on their own, Janet asked Anna if she had any questions to put to her.
Anna hesitated for a moment, then said, ‘I’d like to know more about my father. Are you in contact with him?’
‘No. Not at all. As I think I told you in my letter, we were an item during the time we were at high school in Oban. We were in love; at least, we thought we were. Our parents would have disapproved of our relationship, so when we finished school, we got married. We knew our parents couldn’t do anything about it once we’d actually tied the knot.
‘Your father was a very handsome man. He was the guy all the girls fancied, the school crush, but he chose me. I couldn’t believe it at first. Then, when he suggested we get married, I thought I might lose him if I didn’t say yes, although I knew I was building up trouble for myself at home.’
‘Did he love you?’
‘I thought he did. We were so happy for those first few months. He was great fun, very sociable, and we so enjoyed life together. Until I fell pregnant, anyway. That changed Duncan’s attitude completely. He had a scholarship to go to America, and a baby would throw a big spanner into the works, so he walked out on me and the… you.’
‘You had no warning he would do that?’
‘Looking back, I think there were signs, but love is blind, and I certainly missed them at the time. He was spending more and more time away from me, with new friends he’d made. Mark you, our home wasn’t exactly a palace, but it was all we could afford. That said, he always seemed to have enough money to socialise.’
‘He sounds a selfish man.’
‘We were both wrapped up in ourselves at that time. To be fair, he gave me a substantial amount of money when he left, which meant that I didn’t have any immediate financial problems.’
‘Did he ever ask about me?’
‘Not directly. He would use vague phrases like, “I hope you’re not having problems.” But that didn’t last long. Then, he simply disappeared out of my life. Until…’
‘Until?’
‘Until he sent me an official letter through a lawyer, saying he wanted a divorce.’
‘And you agreed?’ Anna asked.
Janet shrugged her shoulders.
‘Yes. The marriage was over anyway. I informed him that you had been adopted, but received no reply.’
Janet’s voice was flat as she gave the answers to Anna’s questions. Perhaps the details had all been consigned to history as far as Janet was concerned, and that’s where she wished them to remain.
Anna felt it was time to change the subject.
‘What about your life here, Janet? Did your parents ever find out about me?’
It took Janet some time to answer.
‘When it became clear that my father didn’t have long to live, I debated with myself about whether he had a right to know about you. After all, you are his granddaughter. In the end, I decided I owed it to you and to him to let him know.’
‘And how did he take the news?’
‘That was the one and only time in his life I saw him cry. Tears which ran silently down the sides of his face, soaking into the pillow. He pulled me into his arms with the little strength he had left, and whispered, “Forgive me.” I’m sure he understood that it was his attitude that had made it well nigh impossible for me to bring a baby back here. Even if I was married to the father. But, of course, there was bad blood between our two families.’
Where Anna’s questions about Janet’s husband had met with emotionless responses, telling what had happened with her own father seemed to cause her more distress.
‘I feel so sad when I think I should have been brave enough to keep you and bring you here. Once he got over the shock, I’m sure he would have loved you as much as I did.’
‘And you, Janet? Have you moved on? Is there another man in your life?’
Janet laughed. ‘I haven’t married again, if that’s what you mean. I suppose George is the man in my life. He has supported me for years. He has asked me to marry him… often… but… oh, I don’t know. I’m wary of taking that step. Scared it could all come apart at the seams again.’ She paused a moment before speaking again. ‘And what about you, Anna?’
‘Me? No, I’m not married.’
‘Do you have a man in your life? What about the fellow who came to the island with your laptop? Roddie?’
Anna was about to ask how Janet knew about Roddie, then realised that George would have told her.
‘Roddie? He’s my flatmate. We understand each other, and he’s always there for me, but that’s as far as it goes.’
Is it? As far as it goes? said a small voice at the back of her mind. Anna cleared her throat before continuing.
‘I think my mum and dad…’ She stopped speaking, leaving an awkward silence.
‘It’s all right, Anna. You must feel free to speak about them with me,’ Janet said.
‘I think my mum and dad would like to see me and Roddie as an item. They like him a lot. He’s… a good friend.’
The two women carried on exchanging information about each other until George returned, with Bess in tow.
When the dog spotted Anna sitting by the fire, she trotted straight over and laid her head in her lap.
‘I think Bess has accepted you as one of us,’ Janet said. ‘She’s very choosy – she doesn’t welcome everyone.’
Anna stroked the dog’s head, feeling inordinately pleased that she met with her approval.
Anna and George were on the point of leaving to return to Benview, when Janet held them back.
‘Hold on for a few minutes. I have something to show you,’ she said.
With the key which she’d taken from the sideboard drawer, she walked over and unlocked the cupboard against the wall. She opened the two doors, folding them back to reveal a kind of triptych – three surfaces covered with photographs: pictures of Anna, one for each year of her life.
‘Your mum agreed to send me a photo of you every year on your birthday. They arrived in a package sent by the lawyer. You’ll see I painted my own mount for all of them.’
Anna stood, her eyes scanning the array of pictures, most of which she recognised from framed copies in her parents’ home. Suddenly she realised that, far from being that rejected baby twenty-five years ago, she had more love enfolding her than any woman could expect.
She turned and walked into her mother’s arms.
In the car on the way back to Benview, both George and Anna had little to say.
‘Had you seen inside that cupboard before?’ Anna asked.
‘Yes. I knew what it contained,’ George said.
When he stopped the car, he leant over and took Anna’s hand in his.
‘Thank you, Anna. You’ve put a smile on Janet’s face such as I haven’t seen since we were teenagers.’
‘
No need to thank me, George. I’m smiling, too.’
CHAPTER 38
Anna and her mum had been chatting on the phone for a long time before the signal faded, then cut them off. She had answered all Moira’s questions about her visit to Heather Cottage, and asked a few of her own. Anna was anxious to stay in touch with her parents as closely as she ever had, to make it clear that their relationship with her would not be threatened by what was happening in Mull.
Half an hour later, Anna received a text from her mum.
Your dad and I would like to meet Janet. Please invite her to come and stay here as soon as it can be arranged. I’m sure she’d like to see the home where you spent your childhood. Love, Mum xx
Anna tried to visualise Janet in her parents’ home: putting her things into the spare room, sitting at the table at meal times, saying hello to the neighbours. Maybe that was a step too far. If Janet accepted the invitation, she would deal with the visit in her own way.
About to snap her phone shut, Anna noticed an unread text message – from Roddie. Sensing that the battery was almost drained, she hastily plugged it in to recharge, then opened the message.
Hi Anna – I’m sure you’ve been trying to contact me (at least I hope you have), but things have been hectic here. The office on the floor above us at work sprang a leak from a burst pipe, and it flooded our main office, soaking our equipment and some of our files. We’ve been without water and mains electricity for the last few days. Our computer system, with all our data crashed. Of course, we have back-up for that, so no long-term worries.
Flo and I have been rushing around like scalded cats trying to sort out immediate problems, but we’re at the mercy of the tradesmen who are showing no signs of urgency. We’ve been working from the flat, sometimes till the early hours of the morning, so Flo’s had to stay the night.
Anna stopped reading. Why was her heart pounding? Surprised by her reaction, she tried to work out why she was more interested in Flo staying overnight at the flat than in how Roddie would sort out his problems. Of course, it made sense that they work together to maintain the momentum of their business in the circumstances. No reason why Flo should have to return home late at night to her home twenty miles away when it was possible for her to stay. But Anna didn’t like it. She didn’t like it at all.
Still feeling unsettled, she read on:
Perhaps it’s as well you’re not here at the moment – the living room looks as if a bomb has struck it, with piles of paper, soaked files, and electric wires connecting up laptops and printers snaking round the furniture. It doesn’t smell too sweet, either.
I miss you, Anna. I can’t wait to sort out this mess and have you home again. I’ll try to call you soon.
Love,
R xx
The pendulum swing of her emotions left Anna feeling cold and limp, as if the power inside her had suddenly been turned off at the touch of a switch: from the warmth of her visit with Janet and the conversation with her mum, to the feeling of emptiness created by Roddie’s text message.
But why should she be so affected by Roddie’s news? After all, they were no more than flatmates to each other. Weren’t they?
CHAPTER 39
‘Hello. Anyone home?’ George shouted. He had knocked on the door of Heather Cottage before opening it and walking in. He could hear singing coming from the kitchen, and smiled at the sound. The sound of happiness.
He followed the singing into the kitchen and stood behind Janet, sliding his arms around her slim waist.
‘You’re off-key,’ he said, a remark that met with a handful of soapsuds on his face. Ignoring them, he pulled her round and kissed her.
‘Happy?’ he asked.
‘Very.’
‘So, is this a good moment to ask you once again if you’ll marry me?’
‘What, with my hands in a sink full of soapsuds?’
‘I don’t care where you are or what you’re doing, as long as you say yes,’ George said. ‘But, if you prefer it, I can bring a red rose and go down on bended knee, offering you a diamond ring.’
‘Oh, be quiet, you daft man. Of course I’ll marry you. I promised. Once I met Anna, if she came looking for me.’
‘And now she’s come.’
She wiped the soap bubbles from his face and, standing on her tiptoes, grasped his shoulders to pull herself up till they were level face-to-face.
‘Anyway, where would you find a red rose or a diamond ring here at this time of day?’
‘I could still go down on bended knee,’ he said, but she silenced him with a kiss.
Later, as they sat close together on the sofa, George asked, ‘Would you like to tell Anna?’
‘Yes, I would. I’d like both of us to tell her,’ Janet answered. ‘Together.’
The noise of a car door slamming disturbed the pair on the sofa.
‘That’ll be Finn,’ Janet said. ‘He’s coming to clear that corner of the garden. I’d like to plant another rose bush there. To celebrate my daughter’s homecoming.’
‘Hello, you two,’ Finn said, when he came into the room. ‘How are you? Any news?’
‘We’re fine,’ Janet said. ‘News?’ Looking directly at George, she raised her eyebrows and they both laughed. ‘Well, I do have some news. It’s to do with Anna.’
‘Anna?’ Finn asked, furrowing his forehead.
‘Yes. She’s my daughter, Finn.’
‘Your daughter? I don’t understand. How can she be?’
‘I know it’s a surprise. She is my daughter, but I gave her up for adoption soon after she was born.’
It was as if the scales were removed from Finn’s eyes, as the realisation hit him.
‘Yes. Yes, I can see it now. You look like each other, but I’ve never clocked that before. Same eyes, same hair. You even sound like each other when you laugh. But why haven’t you… when…’
At this point, George intervened, and gave Finn a truncated version of Janet and Anna’s story.
‘We’ve both been aware of the attention you’re giving Anna since you met her,’ Janet said, ‘and we’ve been wondering what sort of relationship—’
‘Whoa! Hold on a minute, Janet,’ Finn said, stepping back and raising both hands, palms outwards, in a gesture of resistance. ‘Who said anything about a relationship? Anna’s a good-looking woman and I like her a lot, but…’
‘I don’t want to see her hurt, Finn,’ Janet said. ‘You’ll understand now that I have a personal interest in what happens to her. I hope you’re not giving her the wrong impression, letting her think your intentions are more serious than—’
‘I don’t have intentions,’ Finn said, his face suffused in red. He tugged at the neck of his T-shirt, his discomfort obvious as he tried to deal with this unexpected conversation with Janet. ‘I need some air,’ he added, making his way out of the cottage.
Janet and George could hear him stomping around in the gravel outside.
‘Oh dear, have I said too much?’ Janet asked, frowning.
‘Perhaps you were a bit blunt,’ George said with a chuckle. ‘You might have introduced the subject of his intentions towards Anna with a little more subtlety. After all, you’d only just told him why you were interested.’
‘Maybe I should apologise.’
‘Give him some time to calm down. I’m sure he’ll understand your concern.’
‘You sound like the wise old man of the neighbourhood,’ Janet said. ‘Perhaps you could help me to be more tactful?’
‘Happy to do that,’ he said, taking her into his arms.
Finn felt as if his mind wasn’t big enough to hold all the thoughts that were swirling around inside it. He had planned to finish his work for Janet, then go over to Benview to apologise to Anna for his sullen departure the day before. He knew his reaction had been too hasty. He had spent time with her because he enjoyed her company, as a friend; he had been disappointed that she had considered their friendship as a business arrangement. Having had time to thin
k it over, he realised it was more likely that she had brought up the topic out of concern for him.
But now Janet had introduced another dimension to his thoughts about Anna. Now he knew she was Janet’s daughter, he would have to be careful how he treated her. Yes, he found her attractive; yes, he liked to spend time with her – but intentions? He would certainly have to make sure he didn’t send out any signals which Anna might misread.
CHAPTER 40
A glance from the window showed Bess lying stretched out in the sun. Wondering if she might be thirsty, Anna filled her bowl with water and took it outside.
‘There you are, Bess. That’s a hot spot you’ve found – I thought you might be thirsty.’
A slow wag of the dog’s tail suggested she was happy, but wasn’t prepared to leave her sunny position right now.
A soft wind was blowing, with an occasional gust sending bruised clouds across the sky. Anna sighed. A perfect day to go exploring, she thought. It would be good to have company, though. Roddie? Or Finn?
She’d found it difficult to raise her spirits after her parting with Finn the day before. Only now did she admit to herself how much his friendship meant to her. Or was it more than friendship? Sometimes it felt as if it could blossom into something deeper, but when she thought about committing herself, she wasn’t so sure.
The noise of a vehicle approaching caught her attention. Could it be Finn? At the thought, her heart missed a beat, but then accelerated, drumming inside her so hard, she felt rooted to the spot. The van skidded to a stop and Finn leapt out and was by her side in seconds. He stood for a moment, saying nothing. Then they both spoke at once.