Pontypridd 01 - Hearts of Gold

by Catrin Collier

  She lifted her cape and pulled out her nurse’s watch. Trevor was on duty, but he’d said he’d try to call up her house. On duty days that could mean any time, but just in case he managed it, she wanted to go home and change out of her uniform. ‘I’m sorry, Eddie, not tonight. I have to …’ She saw the dejected look on his face and changed her mind. ‘All right, one quick cuppa in our cafe, but I warn you now, if it’s my love you’re after I’m spoken for.’

  Eddie blushed at her poor joke and followed her to the cafe.

  Too early for the evening idlers, and too late for most of those finishing work for the day, the place was quiet. There was no sign of Laura’s father, only Tina who was serving behind the counter.

  Eddie bought two teas and carried them over to the table in the corner by the front window.

  ‘Miserable weather,’ Laura stared at the rain patterning the glass.

  ‘Summer’s over.’

  ‘Not entirely I hope. I’m getting married in October and I want the sun shining down on us. You are coming, aren’t you? We sent your whole family invitations.’

  ‘If you have I’m sure we’ll all be there,’ Eddie said.

  ‘Hasn’t Bethan said anything?’

  ‘No. Not really,’ Eddie admitted reluctantly.

  ‘Typical,’ Laura snorted. ‘She seems to be in a dream these days.’

  ‘That’s what I wanted to see you about,’ Eddie said quickly as he spooned four sugars into his tea. ‘Haydn and I got talking … ’ he hesitated, not quite sure how to go on. He hadn’t wanted to do this but Haydn had insisted that one of them talk to Laura for Bethan’s sake. ‘He wanted to see you himself, but it’s not easy for him with the hours he works …’

  ‘Is there a point to all this?’ Laura asked impatiently.

  ‘We’re worried sick about our Bethan,’ Eddie blurted out. ‘Have you seen her lately?’

  ‘Not really. Not to talk to,’ she evaded neatly, as she sipped her tea. It was the truth. Trevor had told her what little he knew about Andrew’s break up from Bethan, but even that little had been tempered by Trevor’s sense of delicacy, and she hadn’t wanted to press him. She was too happy to want to dwell on other people’s misery. Especially that of her best friend. ‘Bethan’s on nights, I’m on days –’ She shrugged her shoulders. ‘We work on the same ward but not at the same time. I’ve hardly seen her in weeks.’

  ‘She’s not herself,’ Eddie continued, repeating Haydn’s words. ‘She’s not eating properly – not sleeping – Laura, do you know what happened between her and that man? He’s not around any more, and if he hurt her …’ He curled his hands into fists.

  ‘You mean Andrew I suppose.’ She shook her head as she lifted her teacup to her lips. ‘I told you I haven’t seen Bethan to talk to about anything.’

  ‘But he’s gone?’ Eddie persisted like a dog worrying a rat.

  ‘He went to London to take up a surgical post,’ Laura murmured.

  Eddie looked at her blankly.

  ‘He’s gone to be a doctor in a London hospital,’ she explained irritably.

  ‘And left our Bethan high and dry?’

  ‘It might not quite be the way it looks,’ Laura said diplomatically. ‘They could have wanted to take a break from one another.’

  ‘I don’t think so, and neither does our Haydn. She’s not herself. Something must have happened.’

  ‘It could have been your aunt getting arrested,’ Laura said thoughtlessly.

  ‘What do you mean?’ Eddie demanded.

  ‘He’s a doctor, Eddie, he has a position to keep up. And he might feel … might feel …’ She faltered as she understood the implications of what she was about to say.

  ‘Disgraced?’ Eddie suggested bitterly. ‘Like my mother. She says she can hardly hold her head up when she walks down the street. Between what Auntie Megan’s done and Aunt Hetty … Bloody hell!’ he said slowly. ‘You’re trying to tell me that he thinks our Beth isn’t good enough for him!’

  ‘I could be wrong, Eddie.’ She stared at him helplessly, frightened by the force of anger she’d unleashed. She wanted to say something that would calm him, but she didn’t know what. Eddie wasn’t like her brothers or Haydn. He was a much simpler boy who tended to see things in black and white. Perhaps it was the best way for someone who intended to earn his living from his fists.

  ‘That smarmy bastard.’

  ‘Language, Eddie!’ she warned. ‘You don’t know the truth of the matter any more than I do. A lot of things can happen between a man and a woman.’

  The blood rushed to Eddie’s face. Unable to meet Laura’s eyes he looked down at his bootlaces wondering if Laura had heard something about him and Daisy.

  ‘If you want to find out what’s really wrong you’re going to have to ask Bethan,’ Laura said firmly. ‘But if I were you I’d be careful. She might not want to talk about it.’

  ‘Because he dumped her?’

  ‘Or because she dumped him,’ Laura said quietly. ‘Have you thought of that?’

  Evan, Alun and William dragged their feet as they walked up the Graig hill. It was a glorious autumn evening. A huge glowing orange sun sank slowly over the slate tiled rooftops of the stone houses, bathing the streets in a soft glow that washed the harsh grey, brown and pewter tones of the dirty streets to lighter, kinder shades. If the men had looked to the heavens rather than their feet they might have appreciated just how beautiful the sunset was but neither its beauty nor the warmth of the evening air on their faces, blackened by a day spent working underground, could lift their spirits. And all of the colliers who walked in front, beside or behind them were the same. Dour, grim and silent.

  Evan paused as they reached the entrance to the gully that cut between Llantrisant Road and Leyshon Street. William pushed his knapsack further over his shoulder and looked apprehensively at his uncle. Only the whites of his teeth and eyes showed through the thick layer of coal dust that covered his face.

  ‘What’s going to happen, Uncle Evan?’ he asked anxiously.

  ‘You heard the man speak, same as me,’ Evan replied with unintentional gruffness.

  ‘But I’ve Diana to consider. Uncle Huw says we may have to sell the house to pay Mam’s restitution costs as it is …’

  Evan relented. ‘We’ll sort out something, boy. Don’t worry. They can’t let us all starve to death. Look I’ve got to go home, wash and have tea. I’ll come down and see you later. We’ll have a talk then.’

  He would have liked to ask his nephew and niece to come up to his house for tea. But aside from Elizabeth’s upset over Megan’s disgrace and her vow that she wouldn’t let either of Megan’s children cross her doorstep again, there was the news he had to tell her. News that could stretch her strained nerves to breaking point. Afterwards he might well have good reason to want to leave the house for Leyshon Street.

  He turned his back on William and carried on up the Graig hill with Alun walking close on his heels. As they rounded the vicarage corner they caught up with Viv Richards, Glan’s father.

  ‘Fine mess we’re in now, Evan,’ he commented acidly.

  ‘Aye.’

  ‘Well I’ll see myself and my whole family out on the road before I’ll go begging for help from anyone. That’s all can say about it.’

  ‘Let’s hope it won’t come to that, Viv,’ Evan watched Viv’s short stocky figure as he mounted the steps next door, then found himself measuring the distance between the pavement and the house. Imagining how the front would look covered with furniture when the bailiffs came. Shaking his head in an attempt to free himself from the image, he turned the key in his door and walked through to the kitchen.

  Elizabeth was spooning drops of batter on to the hotplate of the stove. A small stack of pikelets piled on a plate on the warming shelf above her testified to her industry.

  ‘I’ve set up the bath out back,’ she greeted him brusquely.

  ‘Thank you, Elizabeth.’ Evan sat on the stoop between the washhouse and t
he kitchen and unlaced his boots. Alun stepped over him and walked out to the sink.

  ‘All the children out?’ Evan asked wanting to make sure they wouldn’t be interrupted for a while.

  ‘Haydn’s in that shop again, working for nothing as usual. Bethan’s upstairs. Anyone would think the girl’s going into a decline. She’s got work in another hour and a half, and if I’ve called her once I’ve called her a dozen times. Well, I’ll not call her again. It’s up to her to get herself to the hospital on time. And Maud and Eddie have gone over the mountain to look for blackberries. I told them there was no point in going. The season’s over. There’s only the small wormy ones left that the birds don’t want.’ She scooped up a pikelet and flicked it over. While it was cooking she stirred a pan of tripe and onions that was simmering in the oven.

  Evan decided to take the bull by the horns. There wasn’t going to be a good time to tell Elizabeth the news he was carrying, and the sooner he began, the sooner it would be over with. He kicked off his boots, stood up, and closed the door behind him, shutting Alun into the washhouse.

  ‘You’re not going to give the lodger first bath are you?’ Elizabeth said in disgust. ‘And just look at those socks. You’re covering the floor with coal dust. You’re undoing all the work I’ve done today by just standing there …’

  ‘I’m on my way. It’s just that there’s something you should know, Elizabeth, and it can’t wait.’

  ‘What is it now?’ She flicked a cooked pikelet on to the pile and spooned another ladleful of batter on the hotplate. ‘More bad news about that sister-in-law of yours? Because if it is …’

  ‘It’s not about Megan. Manager made an announcement today. The pit’s closing at the end of next week.’

  Naked fear and panic flashed over her face as she dropped the spoon she was holding on the hearthrug. ‘You’ll just have to find work in another colliery. You’ll have to go up the Albion or down Trehafod …’

  ‘There’s no point in going to any colliery. They’re all closing. The Maritime, the Albion …’

  ‘Fine! Just fine!’ she shouted furiously. ‘It’s no good talking like that. There has to be work somewhere. All you have to do is go and look for it. If you don’t –’ her hand flew to her mouth and she closed her teeth around her fingers in an effort to stop herself from crying. ‘We’re for the workhouse. Oh God –’ She sank to her knees and picked up the spoon. ‘My uncle always said it would come to this if I married you. The means test and the workhouse, and all you can say is there’s no point in looking for work.’

  She began to sob. Bone weary, sick and terrified what the future might hold, Evan turned his back on her.

  ‘At least if it comes to the workhouse our Beth will be able to look after us.’ With that parting shot he unlatched the kitchen door and walked into the washhouse. Alun Jones had stripped down to his trousers and was waiting patiently to use the tub.

  Evan tore off his shirt, knelt beside the bath and thrust his head under the warm water. He took the soap from its cracked saucer and rubbed it into a lather. Then he realised he’d left his towel and clean clothes on the airing rack above the range where Elizabeth kept them warming.

  ‘Do me a favour, Alun,’ he called out, his eyes closed against the soap. ‘Fetch me my towel and clothes from the kitchen.’

  ‘Aye.’

  He heard Alun walk back and was half tempted to dress outside and go down to Leyshon Street through the back garden. He couldn’t face Elizabeth again. Not yet. He needed time to think things out first.

  Bethan rose late, washed, dressed and walked downstairs into the doom laden atmosphere of the kitchen. She scarcely had time to sit down before her mother regaled her with the full story of her father’s redundancy. Evan himself didn’t say a word. He simply sat in his chair, pushing threads of tripe and onions around his plate. Bethan smiled at him, but he kept his head down and her smile was wasted. She would have liked to reach out and hug him, but her head was swimming and she wasn’t sure she’d be able to move without falling over.

  Her senses were invariably numbed these days, drinking all day, working all night and general antipathy had taken a toll, and not only on her looks. She was constantly dizzy and nauseous. She had no appetite and even on occasions like now, when she sat at the table with her family and forced herself to eat, she rarely kept her food down for long.

  Life had become one long, grinding chore. The studying that she’d made an effort to keep up with, even when she’d been going out with Andrew, had been abandoned. She’d become obsessed with finding strength enough to get her through her nights of work, so she could spend her days in the comfort and seclusion of her bed with a bottle tucked beneath the pillow. She carried one bottle in the bag she took to work in case she couldn’t quite make it through the night, but she was careful to hide a second behind her drawer in the dressing table.

  Brandy had become a lifeline she could no longer live without. She bought plenty of cheap cologne in Woolworth’s and had taken to sprinkling it liberally over her clothes and into her washing water, even going so far as to rinse her mouth out in it when she left her bed at the end of the day, lest any of her family recognise the smell on her breath. And being in charge of the ward during the night had its compensations. If her behaviour seemed a little odd or erratic there was no superior to question it. And by directing others to complete tasks she was wary of doing herself in case she botched them, she managed – by the skin of her teeth sometimes – but she managed to keep her secret.

  But there were times, like now when she was sitting with her family, when she felt she wasn’t actually living life. Merely watching it like a patient in a tuberculosis ward, forced to stand behind a glass window.

  She tried to follow her father’s example and concentrated on eating the tripe and onions. She had only swallowed three mouthfuls when she began to retch. She left her chair clumsily and ran out, only just making it to the ty bach in time. She lay on the flagstoned floor next to the bench seat in a cold sweat, shaking from head to foot, hoping and praying that her mother wouldn’t allow any of the others to go after her.

  The last thing she wanted was to try to explain the state she was in to Maud. Her luck held. After five minutes she could sit up. She leaned back against the wooden door, careful to avoid the whitewash on the walls that came off on any surface that brushed against it. A few moments later she was able to struggle to her feet.

  Holding on to the wall she made it as far as the sink in the washhouse, where she washed her face in cold water and rubbed her teeth with her finger and salt from a block her mother kept next to the washing blue on a high shelf.

  ‘Are you all right?’ Elizabeth shouted irritably from the kitchen.

  ‘Fine, Mam,’ Bethan called back tremulously, slipping through the kitchen and heading upstairs.

  ‘We can’t have you coming down with anything. Not now when your father’s lost his job.’

  ‘For Christ’s sake, Elizabeth!’ Evan growled with uncharacteristic savagery. ‘I’ve another one and a half weeks to go.’

  ‘And afterwards?’ Elizabeth demanded, cold fury glittering in her eyes.

  ‘If you go on like this there won’t be an afterwards,’ he threatened. Pushing his chair back from the table he picked up his boots from the hearth and lurched towards the front door.

  ‘That’s right,’ Elizabeth taunted. ‘Run away from the problem just as you always do. Well this time you haven’t got your precious mother or sister-in-law to rush to …’

  Bethan entered her bedroom and reached for the bottle in her bag. She put the whole of the neck in her mouth and drank deeply, pausing only when she heard the creak of the top stair. She pushed the bottle back into her bag, only just managing to stopper it as Maud entered the room.

  ‘Beth, what’s going to happen to us?’ she asked tearfully.

  ‘I don’t know.’ Bethan heard her voice slurring and realised she was drunker than she’d ever been in the house before. She sa
t down abruptly on the dressing table stool and fiddled with her veil. Fortunately Maud was too upset to pay much attention.

  ‘I went to see Miss Evans today with Diana,’ she began tentatively.

  ‘Miss who?’ Bethan tried and failed to focus on her sister.

  ‘Miss Evans. The deputy headmistress in Maesycoed Seniors.’

  ‘Don’t know her.’

  ‘Of course, I forgot you went to the Grammar School. Anyway in spite of all that police business she agreed to write out a reference for Diana. She’s applying for a job as a ward maid in Cardiff. They need girls to start in September. I’m sure if I asked her she’d write one out for me too. Do you think I should apply?’

  ‘It’ll be hard work in Cardiff Infirmary. And not all of it pleasant,’ Bethan warned, upset even in her drink-fuddled state at the thought of her sister working as a skivvy in that environment. Maud wasn’t strong. She still coughed occasionally and winter was coming. There had to be something better for her to do, if only they could think of it.

  ‘I don’t mind hard work, Beth. You know that I’ve been looking around and jobs aren’t that easy to come by. I’d rather be a maid in a hospital than in a house, and that’s all that seems to be on offer. Besides, Dad will be hard put to keep Mam and himself now he’s out of work and we can’t –’

  ‘Can’t what?’ Bethan interrupted.

  ‘Haydn says we can’t expect you to keep us for ever.’

  ‘Haydn should keep his mouth shut.’

  ‘I was thinking about doing this even before Mam told us about the Maritime closing, honest. You know what it’s been like between Mam and me since Diana and I were taken down the police station. I’d rather live away like you did. Of course I’d miss you, and Dad and the boys, but it’s not as if I’d be on my own. I’d have Diana,’ she said bravely.

  Bethan looked hard at her sister. Even with the edges of her slight figure fuzzy, blurred by drink, she looked small, very young and very vulnerable. Bethan grew angry, not with Maud, but with the unfairness of a life where Maud’s only way out into the world was through skivvying in a hospital where they’d wring every last ounce of work from her. She wanted to kick someone and there was no one to kick. If she’d been alone she would have picked up the bottle again.