Heaven's Most Wanted

by J. A. Cipriano

  On the phone Mandy’s voice came through from the other side, quite irate. “Mandy. Put Jane on the phone.”

  Gabriel gave me a sideways look. “Jane’s driving.”

  The annoyed growl pouring out of my phone made Gabriel lean away from it, a painted look on his face.

  With a roll of my eyes, I slowed down so I could gesture to him without crashing. “Put it on speaker phone.”

  Gabriel looked at the device, his brows furrowed. “How?”

  “Just push the screen so it wakes up.” I held a finger up to show him what to do. “Now, push that symbol that looks like a speaker. No.” I shook my head. “That’s mute. The other one.”

  “Jane. Jane? Are you there?” Mandy’s voice came out louder than before, and Gabriel sat back with a pleased expression.

  “Such a clever device,” Lucifer commented, leaning between the seats to look over the phone. “Much easier than trying to tap into the right mind.”

  I glanced over at him. “You read each other’s minds?”

  “Only when we’re on the divine plane of existence.”

  “Jane, are you talking to one of the others?” Mandy asked, exasperated by being left out of the conversation. “Look, whatever, I have news I thought you might want to know.”

  “Sorry, yeah. Lucifer is here but not physical.” I smirked as I put my eyes back on the road. “Gabriel was the one who answered the phone. I’m heading toward a warehouse where Gabriel said the last contestant is at and talking to some shady looking guy.”

  “You mean Sirgio Cortez?” Mandy asked curiously.

  I frowned. “I’m going to pretend I know who that is.”

  “Well, that’s the name registered to that number we got from Noah,” she explained. “Sirgio Cortez, he’s a minor criminal with mob connections. They have their hands in a lot of things. Gas, medical, even the fashion industry. It’s not surprising they would want to rig the contest.”

  “What’s this Sirquini guy look like?” I asked as I pushed down on the accelerator.

  “Sirgio,” Mandy corrected me with a huff. “Judging from his mug shot and his file, he’s five foot five with a goatee. Brown hair and eyes. Caucasian. Three cheeseburgers short of a heart attack.”

  “Sound like our guy?” I shot a look over at Gabriel.

  “Besides the cheeseburger thing, yes. It does sound like the man I saw with Chloe, but he certainly wasn’t eating cheeseburgers,” Gabriel explained before exchanging a look with Lucifer.

  I could just imagine what they were thinking. Humans and their weird references. Well, I had something to say about them and the celestial garbage they spewed sometimes. It was like deciphering hieroglyphs.

  “Well, okay,” I said as I continued ignoring them. “We have a designer who got paid to drop out, someone who wanted to buy the judges names from Noah, and a missing trophy. I bet you a hundred bucks they’re all from this Sergargo guy.”

  “You’re making it worse,” Mandy scoffed. “But, yeah, it does look that way. You said someone named Chloe was with them? I requested Sirgio’s bank records to see if anything shady was there to link him to the case. He was already on our watch list for mob activity, so it wasn’t hard to get a judge to help me out.”

  “Okay, and that means?” I tapped the steering wheel, waiting for her to get to the point.

  “He send a money transfer to a Chloe Wong last Friday. Right before—”

  “The trophy went missing,” I finished for her with a smile and a nod. “We’ve got our bad guys.”

  “We’ve got our bad guys,” Mandy repeated and then asked, “What’s your heading? I’ll meet you out there with backup.”

  “You think we’ll need it?” I frowned. The last people I had to get involved in this, the better.

  “Well, you never know when guys like these might bring guns. Do you have a gun?” Mandy’s voice sounded like she half-expected me to even though I wasn’t supposed to have one.

  “Uh, no, but I do have two bad ass angels,” I quipped. “Does that count?”

  “To the law?” Mandy paused. “No. So, I expect you to keep them in line when we go confront this guy.”

  “Fine,” I huffed. I glanced over at Gabriel and Lucifer. “You heard her, boys, you’re to be on your best behavior.”

  Lucifer snorted. “Well, I’m incorporeal so not a problem here.”

  “Hey, I’m only here for Jane.” Gabriel lifted his hand, the one not holding the phone. “I’ll do as she asks.”

  I rolled my eyes, because no way was that statement true. He rarely did what I wanted.

  “Alright,” I said towards the phone, “we’re heading north on I-87. Toward the Dress Factory. You know where that is?”

  “Yeah,” Mandy responded, it sounded like she was typing on the other side. “I can find it. I’ll meet you there.”

  “Okay, over and out.”

  I started to ask Gabriel to hang up, but Mandy added, “And Jane? Wait for me.”

  “Ugh. Fine. I will wait like a good little psychic detective until the big bad police show up.” I scrunched my nose up and reached out, turning off the phone before she could continue.

  “Are you two always like that?” Lucifer asked, grinning at me.

  “You’ve been around me this long, and you’re still asking about my relationships with people?” I turned us off the interstate towards the warehouse Chloe and Spaghetti-O was supposed to be meeting at. “Mandy and I have been best friends most of our lives. If I had anyone I could count on, it’s her.” Gabriel made a sound of alarm. “Okay, you two too, but Mandy doesn’t have to suck my blood like some freaking vampire to touch me.” I smiled suddenly. “Then again, I would never do the kind of touching I do to you with Mandy.”

  “Pity.” Lucifer winked.

  I snorted as I turned off into a parking lot a bit away from where Gabriel directed. Best to maintain every element of surprise we could. Once we were parked, I unbuckled my seatbelt and turned to my angels.

  “Look,” I explained frankly. “This might get hairy, so just do what Mandy says and let me run the show.”

  Before either of them could complain, I climbed out of the car and headed toward the warehouse proper. Around the back, I could see vans parked around a loading dock where several people were hanging around and talking.

  Keeping close to the side of the building for cover, I snuck up past the dock and behind one of the vans to peer around the corner and get a closer look. Five people. One of them was a short female that had to be Chloe, and another matched Mandy’s description of the big guy from the mob.

  “Is this what you call waiting for backup?” Gabriel asked as he snuck up behind me. He leaned against the side of the van, not even bothering to hide while I crouched down low. Lucifer wasn’t even hiding behind the vehicle, just standing there in plain daylight and grinning like a fiend.

  “I call this finding out what we’re dealing with before the backup shows up and steals all the thunder I worked hard to get paid for,” I whispered back at him. Then, I crept closer, inching my way forward until I was just at the front bumper. I peeked around the fender and came face to face with a pair of boots. I followed those boots up a pair of legs and then a gun pointed at my face. Giving the creepy guy holding the gun a meek smile, I waved.

  “Uh, hi. I heard I can get some great discounts here.”

  “Get up.” The goon pushed the gun closer to me, and I followed it up off the ground and put my hands in the air.

  Gabriel shifted behind me, tensed to spring into action, but I held out towards him. I didn’t want him to hurt anyone if we didn’t have to, even though they were being threatening first.

  “Out from behind the van.” The man gestured toward where the others were waiting. Another man no less welcoming appeared around the other side to lead Gabriel and me out to the group of people. Chloe was in the center of them.

  “Who’s this?” Sirgio pulled the cigar he’d been smoking out of his mouth and gestured towa
rd me with mild interest. When he saw Gabriel, any amusement in his face disappeared. Jerking his eyes to Chloe, he grunted, “These friends of yours?”

  “No,” Chloe Wong answered. The woman had a severe frown on her face that made her look all the more ball-busting than the tight red dress and long earrings she wore. She looked like a man eater about to chow down on her dinner. “I’ve never seen them before in my life.”

  “Are you sure?” Sirgio looked us over and chuckled. “This one here looks like he could be one of those models you use. And this one, well, if she isn’t a model...” I touched my hair, smiling slightly at the compliment I figured was coming. “... then she’s someone’s assistant.”

  Fuck you too, buddy.

  “No, never.” She narrowed her laser glare on us, no doubt wondering herself where we came from.

  “Why don’t I introduce myself?” I lowered my hands and placed one on my chest. “I’m Jane. This is Gabriel. We’re just checking out the warehouse. I was told I could find some discounted brand names here. Was that wrong?” I glanced around at the thugs circling us, trying to look meek and innocent.

  “This warehouse hasn’t been operational in years.” Sirgio chuckled and waved his cigar at me. “Try again, doll.”

  “I told you, my friend told me I could get—”

  Sirgio nodded to the thug on the right next to Gabriel. He cocked his gun and pointed it at Gabriel’s head. “What was that?”

  “Okay,” I gasped as I held my hands back up. “Okay, okay. I’m not looking for a sale. I’m a psychic detective, and I’m on a case.”

  “Psychic detective?” Chloe laughed haughtily. “People actually believe in that stuff?”

  “Actually, you’d be surprised.” I arched a brow at her. “Anyway, I’m trying to find a trophy. I don’t care about the rest of whatever is going on here.” I waved a hand around the group. “My job description says to find a golden trophy that’s it. The rest is all you.” I pointed at Chloe and Sirgio. “You want to take over the fashion world, be my guest, I won’t judge.” I shrugged.

  Sergeant Spaghetti laughed, a big belly laugh that made his stomach and chin fat shake. He gestured to one of his guys, and they brought a brief case over. With a moment’s fiddling, he popping the top open to reveal the very trophy I had been hired to find.

  “I like you,” he said as he arched a hairy eyebrow at me. “You’re funny. As you can see, we have the trophy, but why would we give it to you?”

  I grinned, blinking my lashes at him. “Out of the goodness of your heart?”

  “Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.” He shook his head and kept laughing so much so I thought he might have a heart attack. He breathed heavily and then put the cigar in the side of his mouth. “How about this? I’ll only kill lover boy here, and then you’re free to go with a vow of silence... or we will come silence you.”

  I glanced to Gabriel and then back to the big guy. Shaking my head, I sighed. “Sorry, I’m kind of attached to him. Besides, God might get a bit pissed off at me if I got his messenger killed.”

  That very real but very strange statement confused the goons just long enough for me to jerk forward and grab the trophy. I spun around and ran before they realized what a stupid move I had pulled.

  “That was your big plan?” Lucifer called out after me as I ran.

  See, I figured Gabriel could keep up or go incorporeal if he really needed to. Me, I wasn’t so lucky, so I bobbed and weaved in a zig-zag motion toward the car. I mean, that’s what they did on all those cop shows to avoid getting shot, right?

  Good thing I did, as bullets whizzed by my head and hit the ground just as I shifted to the right.

  “So?” I shrugged, getting out of breath. “I improvised.”

  “What are you doing?” Gabriel jogged up next to me. “I can carry you if you keep running around like that.”

  Shooting him a glare, I dove behind the nearest van. The sound of bullets sprayed the side, making me flinch with every sound. “I’m doing evasive running. It makes me a harder target. How’d you get through it?”

  “I’m faster than them.” Gabriel laughed. “And it makes you look like you’re having an episode.”

  I huffed and glowered. “Well, then next time you can grab the goods, and I’ll be the all-powerful being waltzing through the bullet spray,” I huffed as I glowered at him.

  “Come on, we have to keep moving.” Before I could start doing exactly that or even get a word out edgewise, Gabriel grabbed me by the waist and tossed me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

  Tensing up, I covered my head with the trophy and peeked out at the guys running after us. They had made it to the van now and they were quickly closing in on us.

  “We’re not going to make it. Where’s that angel speed at?” I yelled at him, smacking him on the ass. “Get a move on!”

  Gabriel huffed a laugh. “Alright, hold on tight.”

  I bounced up and down as he increased his speed and I forgot about dodging bullets and more about keeping from knocking myself out. Wrapping my arms around his waist, I held on tight as my body felt like it was being squished against a wall.

  Just as we hit the parking lot where I parked, sirens sounded as Mandy’s car screeched into the lot, skidding to a halt right in front of us.

  “Yay, the cavalry has arrived!” I threw my hands in the air from my awkward position over Gabriel’s shoulder as Mandy and O’Connor climbed out of their vehicle. Two squad cars pulled up next to them and disgorged another four cops, guns drawn and ready for anything.

  “What part of wait for me didn’t you understand?” Mandy yelled at me as she took in the sight of me holding the trophy triumphantly and the pack of gun-toting goons running our way.

  Gabriel sat me on my feet, and I shrugged. “Did you really think I was going to listen?”

  Shaking her head, she gestured for her fellow officers to follow her lead as she pulled her badge out and high for the mobsters to see.

  “BFPD!” she shouted with every bit of cop authority she could muster, and trust me, with Mandy, that was a lot. “Put your weapons down!”

  The goons slowed down but didn’t drop their pistols. One of them leaned their head to the side as they were listening into an ear piece, and then, one by one, they sat their guns on the ground.

  I gave Gabriel the trophy and followed after Mandy. Before I could get two steps, O'Connor stepped between me and the rest of the action.

  “No, you don’t. You’ve caused enough problems for today, don’t you think?” His green eyes sparkled with satisfaction at the very thought of me in trouble. “You’re lucky you have Stevenson to help you out or you’d be Swiss cheese right now. You should really rethink this whole profession, if you can’t even shoot a gun.”

  I resisted the urge to flip him off as I backed away to sit with Gabriel by our car. Staring hard at where Mandy and the cops disappeared behind the vans, I contemplated jumping in the car and booking it.

  I inched toward the driver seat and then I saw a streak of red dart, the color of Chloe’s dress as she ran across the parking lot and followed by the big man, Sergio. I ran to my driver side door, jerked it open, and cranked the engine to speed toward them.

  Lucifer appeared in the backseat, a bemused expression on his face. “Where are you going, love?”

  I grinned back at him as I angled the car toward the fleeing crooks and then whipped my steering wheel to the left as I slammed on the brakes. With the sound of skidding tires on asphalt, I pulled the car around into a spin and landed it right in the path of Chloe Wong and Sergio. They didn’t have time to stop and ran right into my car. Well, Chloe did. Sergio, I think, passed out from exhaustion. I rolled down my window just as Mandy and the others came up behind them.

  “Maybe next time you give you’ll think twice before not taking my offer,” I shouted down at the two perps as the cops swooped in to make their arrests.

  Chapter 20

  MANDY AND THE OTHER cops got Chloe and Sergio l
ocked down with their goons. The entire time they were being cuffed, the little designer spat curses and swore to call her lawyer on all of us. There was a lot of moaning, bitching, and general disgruntlement among the goons before they all got tucked off into patrol cars and carted off to jail. Naturally, because of my integral part in saving the day, I had to come along with Mandy to make a statement, give evidence, all that sort of important police stuff.

  "So, what did they want the trophy for?" I asked Mandy once we were done with all the boring stuff. I held the trophy up and flopped it down on my other hand.

  "Well, it looks like Sergio wanted to steal the trophy so he could start his own competition,” Mandy explained. “He and his friends in the mob were looking to get their foot in the door of the fashion scene. Something to do with money laundering, guns, drugs, the whole shebang." Mandy waved her hand in the air.

  I frowned as I swung my feet in the chair by her desk. "Why didn't he just get his own trophy? Why steal Andre's?"

  Mandy lifted a shoulder and dropped it as she began filling out paperwork. "I don't know, poetic justice?" She paused and sat the pen down. "By the way, while we’re talking about it, we're going to need that trophy."

  "But it's Andre's!” I pouted and clutched it to my chest as if it were my precious. “I need to give it back to him so I can get paid."

  "You'll get it back." Mandy held her hand out, wiggling her fingers at me. "I promise. We have to log it with the rest of the evidence until the case is closed. Then, when it's done, Andre can come and claim his property."

  "But how will he know that I found it and not you?" My eyes narrowed on her as I still held the trophy close.

  Mandy arched a brow. "Do you really trust me so little?" I didn't answer her. "Man, decades together and still, you question my loyalty? You will get credit, don't worry."

  "On your honor of our friendship." I held my pinkie out to her with a firm look.

  "No."

  "Then swear on orgasmic garlic bread."

  Rolling her eyes, Mandy looped her pinkie with mine. "There, I promise. Now give it."