Dangerous Dreams: A Novel

by Mike Rhynard

  Elyoner smiled. “I knew it would, Em. Forsooth, you seem more yourself today in every way.”

  Emily nodded, looked down at Virginia. I love you, my little one . . . as I shall love my own child. And I shall let nothing harm you. I’ve decided what I must do, and I feel the better for realizing it though ’twill not be the life I’d expected for myself. But for you and the one within me I shall give my life, and the peace brought by this decision must be why I have milk for you today. So eat hearty, dear Virginia. Verily, I’d forgotten how wonderful the pull of your lips feels upon me.

  She looked up, glanced at Elyoner and Shines, saw them whispering to one another, their faces but a few inches apart. “What ho, you two, what’s amiss?”

  Elyoner pulled back like a child caught in a naughty act. “Oh . . . uh . . . I was telling Shines what a wonderful mother you are.”

  Emily gave her a suspicious look. “You lie, Elyoner Dare, I see it in your face. Truly, what were you saying?”

  Elyoner looked at Shines then Emily. “Indeed, that is precisely what I said.” She looked back at Shines, turning her head so Emily couldn’t see her right eye, then spoke with her hands and a few English and Chesapeake words, followed by a wink. “I said Emily’s a wonderful mother, yes?”

  Shines nodded, first at Elyoner then at Emily.

  Emily raised an eyebrow, replied with her free hand and some Chesapeake words. “I do not believe you either, Shines. But very well, keep your little secrets.” She looked down at Virginia. They’re plotting something; but no matter, I shall watch your pretty little face instead of them.

  Elyoner started pantomiming the steps of making bayberry candles to Shines: fluttered her fingers to describe the wax melting; grasped both ends of a two-foot stick with five wick strings attached, pretended to lower it into the wax pot; hesitated; removed it, set it aside on two elevated supports as if to let it solidify. She repeated the procedure with the other three sticks then returned to the first and pretended to dip it again. Setting it aside, she made a circular motion with her right hand to convey repetition. Finally, she picked up a lit candle from the tabletop, held it in front of Shines, whose dark eyes immediately glowed with childlike delight.

  Later, as Elyoner and Shines skimmed wax, Emily burped Virginia, listened as Shines, with a shadow of fear on her face, told Elyoner that before the attack at the streambed, the Powhatans had been watching both villages, which had greatly discomfited the Chesapeakes; for though they disliked the Powhatans, they had sworn allegiance to their powerful chiefdom and agreed to be their allies. So there had been nervous talk of moving the camp away from the colony to avoid aggravating the Powhatans and incurring their wrath.

  Elyoner said, “More good news, eh, Em?”

  “Aye, indeed . . . Ellie, when do you think your father will—”

  Emme moaned, pushed herself up on her elbow. “Ooooh! Hurts.” She fell back to the bed.

  Emily said, “Emme, be still.” She hurriedly carried Virginia across the room, laid her in her crib, then picked up a bundle of fresh cloth, returned to Emme, joining Elyoner and Shines, who already knelt beside her.

  “I want to sit up.”

  Elyoner said, “Very well, here, let me help you. Move slowly.” She and Shines grasped Emme’s arms, pulled her up to a sitting position as the blanket fell away from her bare upper body. “Chilly in here. Let’s get something on you before you freeze to death.”

  Emily said, “Wait. I must change the bandage; ’tis quite bloody.”

  Shines raised both hands, signaled Emily to wait. She stood, rushed outside.

  Emily and Elyoner watched her go; then Elyoner quickly retrieved a shawl, laid it across Emme’s shoulders while Emily unwrapped the bandage and Emme groaned.

  A moment later, Shines returned with a handful of mud and moss, knelt beside Emme. She looked at Emily and Elyoner, pointed at the mud and moss then at Emme’s wounds, looked for approval. When Emily nodded consent, Shines laid the moss over Emme’s wounds, packed a layer of mud on it, and nodded at Emily, who waited with her bandages.

  Emme said, “Ooh! ’Tis quite chilly, but feels good.”

  Shines smiled. “Make better.”

  Elyoner and Shines held Emme’s arms as Emily re-wrapped the wounds then pulled Emme’s smock and shirt over her shoulders. “A most stylish shirt, Emme Merrimoth. Those bloody holes are quite attractive. Perhaps you’ll start a new style in London.” She smiled. “I’ll get a fresh one from your cottage when I change the bandage.”

  “Aye. Thank you, Em. Did not expect to lose a good shirt to an arrow. Can I get up now?”

  “No. Stay where you are. In fact, I’m keeping you here for a few days to ensure you behave yourself, for I know you to be a villainous sort . . . like me.”

  Emme smiled impishly. “I’m no such thing.” Her smile slowly receded like an outgoing tide. “How is Johnny?”

  Emily said, “Fine. He’s returning to see you later.”

  Emme stared somberly at the blanket covering her legs. “Happened so fast. No time to think or be afraid . . . just threw myself on him . . . protecting him was all that mattered.” She looked at the others. “You know, I love him, and . . . and . . . I’m not supposed to tell anyone, but you are my best friends . . . and I have to tell someone.” She smiled. “Governor Baylye secretly married us yesterday.”

  Elyoner and Emily immediately leaned over Emme, congratulated her, hugged her, kissed her on the cheek. Emily then explained the excitement to Shines, who replied with a broad, toothy smile. Elyoner said, “Why secretly? ’Twould have been a rare, grand opportunity for some merriment in this morose colony.”

  Emme grinned for a moment then reclaimed her somber expression. “I should not have said anything; but we married secretly because Johnny fears Tayler will try to harm me to harm him, as you and I discussed, Emily. So please guard our secret.” She shook her head. “I tell you, Johnny fears no man face-to-face, but a craven’s strike to the back from the shadows is another matter, and such is Tayler’s way.”

  Emily looked surprised. “You must know far more about Hugh Tayler than what he did to Johnny’s sister.”

  “Aye. I know of his murder of Robert Wilkinson, his cowardice under fire, his affair with his commander’s wife, his abandonment of his wife and children, and his rape and murder of a friend’s wife. But there’s something else. Johnny and the other sergeants, as well as Lieutenant Waters and Governor Baylye, believe Tayler leads a conspiracy to undermine and destroy the colony.”

  Shines said, “Tayler . . . bad man.” She slid her index finger across her throat in a cutting motion.

  The three Englishwomen gawked at her with wide, incredulous eyes and gaping lips.

  After an awkward silence, Elyoner cleared her throat. “Well . . . Father knew there was something between Tayler and Lord Walsingham, but he knew not what. Pray he’s put the puzzle together and returns prepared to deal with it.”

  Emily said, “And soon, I hope.”

  “ ’Twill be soon. I’m certain of it, for I know he longs to see Virginia.” She paused a moment. “Perhaps we should now enjoy a feast of smoked fish and pemmican.”

  After a meager meal, the three sat around Emme in silence until Elyoner nodded subtly at Emme and Shines, and all three promptly looked at Emily.

  Emily said, “Why are you all looking at me like that?”

  Elyoner again cleared her throat. “Emily, Emme told me you saw Isna a few days ago.”

  Emily tensed; her heart raced then pounded. “Yes . . . I did.”

  “But you fled him, didn’t speak to him.”

  “Ellie, am I on trial? You know I no longer wish to see him, and I refuse to discuss it further.”

  After a long pause, Elyoner said, “I do not know Isna other than through your voice, but I know you love him. All of us know it. And Shines knows that he loves you and will do anything to help you.”

  Emily swallowed, looked away, fought the tears welling in her eyes. “
It matters not.” She closed her eyes. Oh, Isna, I miss you so. My heart, rending in two.

  “But it does matter, Emily; and you matter, beyond measure, to all three of us . . . and to Isna. So we shall no longer abide your carrying this burden alone. You must share it with us, now.” Shines and Emme nodded.

  Emily’s eyes lingered on Elyoner, read her resolve. She glanced quickly at Shines and Emme, saw the same, then looked back at Elyoner as her fragile composure began to melt like an icicle in a warm spring sun. Her eyes misted; her lower lip jutted forward and curled downward; tears rolled down her cheeks, dripped onto her lap; her hands trembled. “Ooooooh.” She lowered her face to her hands, sobbed, shuddered.

  The three stared helplessly at one another with anguished faces.

  Emily sputtered, “You were right, Ellie . . . right about . . . about everything . . . he . . . he raped me . . . took my . . . my virginity . . . my life, my soul . . . and I hated it . . . but I pleasured in it . . . and now I am naught but a whore . . . a condemned sinner . . . a worthless slut . . . unworthy of a good man, if any were fool enough to want me . . . and a disgrace to any who might. I cannot do that to Isna, for I love him with all my heart and soul. Ooooooh. I want to die.”

  Elyoner rushed to her side, enveloped her in a tight embrace, then shook her head. “Please do not say that, Em . . . my poor, dear friend. How have you borne this alone?”

  Emme whispered, “Emily you are wrong. ’Twas not your fault. You bear no guilt, no shame. ’Twas all Tayler’s doing, and believe me, many a good man will want you, love you, understand what’s befallen you, and think naught of it—see beyond to the wonderful, kind, innocent person you are.”

  Shines spoke in broken English. “ Isna say”—she touched her heart, shook her head, motioned Emily to watch her hands—“Isna loves Emily . . . more than his own life. He will do anything for her if she will let him.”

  Elyoner said, “What did she say?”

  Emily again buried her face in her hands, moaned. “She said . . . Isna . . . loves me . . . oooh.” She lifted her face from her hands, rubbed her eyes. “There’s one thing more I must tell you. I’ve . . . I’ve missed my period . . . had the sickness, bleeding, dizziness, weariness . . . and I feel it inside. I am with child.”

  Elyoner said, “Oh, Em, my dear Em.” She exploded with an angry, venomous look. “Damn him to hell, Em, you’ve tolerated too much, too long. By God himself, I shall see that filthy miscreant pay—slowly and painfully.”

  Emily stared grimly at her, shook her head. “Ellie, you mustn’t say anything.”

  Elyoner’s face was red, her eyes wild with rage. “The devil with that, Emily Colman. Tayler’s a plague, and he must be treated so.”

  “No, Ellie! You must say nothing!” She paused, looked at the floor, composed herself. “Since the rape, I’ve thought of nothing but my situation and future; and I now know that for the good of my child, I must make my life with Hugh Tayler . . . though I detest the very thought of it.”

  Emme and Shines moaned; Elyoner stared glassy-eyed and dumbstruck.

  “My child and I must have a means of support other than me selling my body.” She watched their pained, sympathetic, faces.

  Elyoner said, “Does he know of the child?”

  “Nay. And I sha’n’t tell him until I can no longer hide it. But, Ellie, I know for certain he loves me and will care for me; so mayhap I can change him for the better, perchance learn to love him . . . or at least tolerate him.”

  Elyoner shook her head wildly, shouted, “ Nooo, Emily, can you not see? Being with him will solve nothing. ’Twill make matters worse. You’ll hate and resent him every moment of every day. And forget not, he’s a wanted man, a lying, murderous blackguard; and a sheriff or some angry husband, father, or brother will one day end his stinking, miserable life with a pistol ball or a noose.” She leaned her angry face close to Emily’s. “And where will you be then . . . the former mistress of a dead criminal? No, Em. Do not do this!”

  Emily waved her hands, shook her head desperately at Elyoner, screamed, “Ellie, I have no choice! What am I to do? I must think of my baby, live for it, sacrifice my life for it, and forget about myself, Isna, my past life, my dreams, my everything. Why do you not understand?”

  Elyoner started crying. Emme whispered, “And what will you do when he grows tired of you and the child, seeks other pleasures, other women, casts you out or abandons you as he did his wife and two children in England? What then, Em?”

  Emily calmed, yielded to a stifling wave of despair, felt her intricate tapestry of self-delusion unraveling around her. Deceived myself, no future, especially with Hugh Tayler. “My God, Emme, I know you’re right, but what else can I do? How can I live . . . how can I end this hideous nightmare?” She paused, again looked at the floor, sighed, then looked up at the others. “I’m to go to him tonight, please him . . . and I know in my heart he’ll demand the same every night hereafter. So you see, I’m trapped . . . and I must go.”

  Elyoner waved her hands in the air like a berserk. “Ahhhh! What are you saying, Emily Colman? God forbid it!”

  Emme said softly, “Emily, you must not go to him!”

  “Emme, I must, or . . . or. . .”

  Elyoner said, “Or what?”

  “Nothing.”

  Elyoner shook her head angrily. “Or what, Emily? What does he hold over you? How does he govern you like this? ’Tis insane.” She stood, started for the door. “Enough! I’m telling Ananias.”

  “Noooooo, Ellie.” Emily lunged after her.

  Elyoner turned as Emily dropped to her knees, wrapped her arms around her legs, and sobbed hysterically. “Please, Ellie, please! Hear me! Do not do this! Please trust me.”

  Elyoner burst into tears, knelt, laid her hands gently on Emily’s cheeks, then hugged her. “Emily, how can he do this to you? Your father’s dead, and you’re far too strong to be intimidated by threats against yourself. What is it, Em? Tell me.”

  Emily blubbered, “Please, Ellie, don’t ask me this, I beg you, for I dare not tell you.”

  Elyoner studied her for a long moment before her face suddenly flashed a glimmer of discovery. “ ’Tis Isna, isn’t it?”

  Emily looked away, rubbed her eyes, said nothing. Lord, what if he harmed Isna? Could he? No. He fears Isna, and he’s a coward. But what if he had help, ambushed him? He could, dear Lord, he could.

  “Emily! Is it . . . is it me? Or . . . or . . . dearest God in heaven, is it Virginia?”

  Emily shrieked, buried her face on Elyoner’s shoulder, shuddered, sobbed. “No, Ellie, no. Please stop.”

  Elyoner, Shines, and Emme looked at one another, their faces overflowing with anguish and frustration. Emme spoke softly, calmly. “ Elyoner, Emily fears that if Tayler thinks she’s told others of his threat, he will carry it out rather than be deterred from it.” She looked at Emily. “I understand your fear, Em, but I believe you wrong. I think if all know the truth, he will be afraid to act; for he is, in the end, a coward.”

  Emily looked at her with a suddenly tranquil expression. “Emme, he is an irrational, obsessed, likely insane coward, and he will not act predictably. He also has henchmen who do his bidding.” Her mind whirled, wobbled like a top nearing the end of its spin. We cannot assuredly protect Virginia, and Isna alone cannot defeat a band of assassins. So a momentary lapse could mean the end for both . . . and ’twould be my fault, and mine alone, plague my conscience for the rest of my life. And what matter if I then killed myself to spite him? They’d still be dead, and . . . and ’twould murder my child, and I’d have even more grave sin on my soul. In the end, I’ve no choice but to quietly and secretly bear this burden God has given me and do his will, for such will protect the lives of those I love and limit my sin to adultery.

  Emme held a long, thoughtful gaze on Emily then sighed. “Emily, you may indeed be right.” She glanced at Shines, then Elyoner, sighed despairingly. “God forgive me for saying this, but perhaps Shines was right.�
� She sliced her index finger across her throat. “Perhaps we should kill Hugh Tayler?”

  “So all in all,” Waters said, “the men fought a courageous, effective fight against superior numbers.” His face abruptly saddened; he bowed his head. “But the loss of Alis Chapman was a terrible blow, even though there was naught anyone could do to prevent it. And—”

  Terse, accusatory, John Sampson interrupted, “Why did you not pursue the Powhatans and try to rescue her?”

  “For the reasons I explained to John Chapman.” He presented the case against splitting his command, leaving the village weakly defended. All but Willes, Stevens, and Sampson nodded understanding.

  Sampson said, “Well, I disagree with your reasoning. The Powhatans will never attack these palisades. They’d suffer unbearable losses, and they know it. So I find your logic against pursuing the raiding party flawed and unsound. There’s another reason why you didn’t pursue, and I know what it is.”