Dash Vol. 2

by Shantel Tessier

  He nods his head and raises his hand for the waiter. In seconds he’s standing at our table and Braxton is asking for the check and my leftovers from the back. I finish off my wine while Braxton pays.

  Once we are sitting comfortably, driving down the highway in his expensive Range Rover, he breaks the silence. “Do you want me to take you to my house or yours?”

  I still stay at his house every now and then. Sometimes the memories of what I lost come crashing down on me and I need his arms to hold me. The only thing is, he doesn’t know that I imagine Tate instead. That I imagine he’s the one rocking me back and forth reminding me that he’s there for me no matter what.

  “I’ll go home. Thanks though,” I answer looking out the window at the passing cars.

  He gets my attention when he places his soft hand on my thigh. “You know you don’t have to pretend everything is okay, Missy? These things just don’t go away.”

  I’m drowning. Can’t breathe. No longer able to see a way out. I live in the blackness that has consumed my life. Taken over what I once was.

  Tears spill down my cheeks as I sit on the cold tile of Braxton’s bathroom floor while he sleeps in his bed. I grip my phone tightly in one hand. Wiping my tears away with the other as I look down to my phone and read the message that Sam had sent me hours ago.

  Sam: The girls and I are going to the bridal store to be fitted for their dresses. I haven’t heard from you in a while. Are you going to be able to be fitted for yours tomorrow as well?

  I type out a response.

  Me: Can’t make it.

  I lean my head back and close my eyes. Hoping that the darkness takes me once again. It’s easier. I don’t have to remember or think about what happened. I find comfort in the darkness that has come to consume me. Even if that darkness comes from a bottle.

  I lift the bottle and take a swig. I grimace as I try to swallow the warm, foul liquid. I feel like I may puke but I’m finally able to swallow it. This is the only way that I can forget. This is the only way that has me able to close my eyes and not see that nightmare in front of me. To not have to hear the words ‘I’m sorry, Missy,’ from the doctor just days ago.

  I let out a sob as I continue to sit on his bathroom floor. This isn’t the first time I’ve been drunk and found myself on a bathroom floor. My twenty-first birthday party that Sam had thrown me just a few months ago was my first and only time up until now. At least then I had Sam. I wish she were here right now but I can’t tell her. I can’t tell anyone. This secret is mine to keep.

  “Missy?” I hear Braxton’s worried voice yell before he knocks on his bathroom door. “Open up. Let me in, Missy,” he demands, his voice growing more frantic with each word.

  I ignore him as I lift the bottle and take another swig, hoping I black out and he will just go back to bed.

  Braxton continues to pound on the door as I close my eyes. Blocking out his voice and the noise, I slowly slide further down so that I’m lying flat on my back and roll over onto my side trying to ignore the tightness in my chest. Tate has no idea what he has done to me. What that one night cost me. Hell, he probably can’t even remember that night. And that has me crying out as I wrap an arm around my stomach.

  “I’m fine, Braxton,” I say turning in the front seat to look at him. That was ten months ago. “Truly. I’m okay,” I reassure him.

  He nods his head but doesn’t look away from the road. I’m lying to him but the part that hurts the most is that I’m lying to myself. I’ve already had one breakdown, I don’t want to have another one.

  He pulls down the street to my apartment and I let out a long sigh when I see my mother’s car sitting outside of my building. What is she doing here?

  I should have gone to his house.

  “Missy,” she says cheerfully as I exit his car, but I know she’s not happy with me. To anyone else her smile and my name would sound friendly, loving even. But I haven’t spoken to her much in the last year. My mother has a way of reading me, and I don’t want her to discover the truth. She will be so disappointed in me. And I’m not sure I can handle that.

  “Mother,” I say walking up to her and giving her a quick hug.

  “Who’s this?” she asks releasing me and looking over at Braxton as he stands behind us with his hands in the pocket of his dress pants.

  He takes a step toward her and stretches out his right hand. “Hello, Mrs. Freeman. I’ve heard so many great things about you.” Liar. “I’m Braxton.”

  Her smile brightens as she reaches out and shakes his hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Braxton. But, please, call me Tricia.”

  He nods his head to her and then turns to me. “I’ll call you tomorrow,” he states before leaning down and placing a kiss on my cheek. I then turn and face her once he gets back into his car and drives off.

  “How long have you two been dating?” she asks placing her hands on her hips. She frowns as she looks me over while she waits for me to answer. “What have you been doing? You’ve lost some weight.” Her dark blue eyes narrow behind her red-rimmed glasses. “And your hair.” She reaches up and grabs a loose strand. “What have you done to it? It’s so blond,” she says with a frown. “It’s gonna start breaking off soon. And where are your glasses? Did you lose them again?”

  I love my mother to death but she lives in a different era. She never wears much makeup besides the occasional mascara and lipstick. She keeps her dirty blond, straight hair short, and she never dresses up. She prefers to live in jeans and loose-fitting shirts that don’t show off her small frame. But no matter what she’s in or what she looks like, she has confidence. She keeps her head held high and her shoulders back. She wears my father’s love for her as if it were a flashy ring for all to see. I have always felt like the oddball. The one who doesn’t fit into this family. I’ve never felt pretty or had confidence. Changing what I didn’t like about myself makes me feel better.

  “What are you doing here, Mom?” I try to ask without sounding hateful. I wanted to come home so I could be alone not visit with my mother. And I refuse to answer any of those questions.

  “I called you earlier, and you didn’t answer. I thought I would come over and see you,” she says sounding more concerned than anything now. “You never have invited me over.” Now I regret ever even telling her my address. Maybe I should have moved out of state.

  “My phone is on silent. Braxton and I were having dinner,” I explain.

  She lets out a long sigh as she looks me up and down once again. I shuffle uncomfortably under her gaze. “I…” She stops and frowns. “I don’t hear much from you anymore. Is everything okay?” she asks looking more worried as she pushes her glasses up on her nose.

  I let out a sigh of my own and walk over to the steps of my apartment building. I sit down knowing she isn’t going to leave until I give her something. And if I invite her up she may never leave. “Yes, Mom, everything is fine,” I say looking down to my hands knotted in my lap.

  “Then why did you quit school?”

  My head snaps up to look at her in horror. How does she know I quit?

  She softly smiles down at me before she seats herself on the stairs beside me. “I went up to the college today to see if you wanted to have lunch but I didn’t have your schedule. I just happened to run into a girl who knows you and she told me you dropped out.”

  Just my luck. “Who was it?” I ask confused. Why isn’t she yelling at me? Why isn’t she looking at me with disappointment?

  “Her name was Katherine.” She lets out a soft laugh. “I kinda screamed and told her that I was your mother and that I would have known if you dropped out of college months ago.” I swallow nervously and she continues. “She started apologizing. She had no idea I was your mother or she probably would have lied for you.” She looks over at me with a smile on her face.

  “I’m sorry, Mom,” I whisper feeling guilty for living a lie.

  She turns her body on the stairs to face me. “Why didn’t you come to u
s? Were you failing?”

  “No. I just...” I let out a long sigh. I love her and I know she wants to know what’s happened but I can’t tell her. I just can’t do it. I don’t want to relive that again. Not now, maybe never.

  “I just didn’t want to waste your money anymore. I no longer wanted to be a nurse,” I say shrugging carelessly. “I got a job at the bakery and I love it there. Sam pays me really well and it just became more important.” I try to think of the same words I told Braxton at dinner earlier. Gotta keep my stories straight.

  She looks at me and tilts her head as if in thought. “You know I don’t believe you, right?” I let out a nervous laugh. “It’s not drugs is it?” she asks with concern.

  “No, Mom. No drugs,” I say with a small smile as I shake my head. Drugs might have been easier. At least they would numb the pain.

  “Alcohol?” she adds.

  “No.”

  “Hmm,” she says in thought. She stares at me for a few seconds before she stands up and looks down at me. “I want to know what’s going on with you, Missy, but I won’t push it. I want you to come home for dinners and answer your phone when I call to just say hello and have a good day. You’re my daughter…”

  “Mom…”

  She places her hand up stopping me. “I believe it when you say it’s not drugs or alcohol. And I don’t think that you’re in any serious danger but if I promise not to ask you about it, will you please come around more?” She sniffs as her dark blue eyes start to get watery. I hate that I’ve made her feel so badly. “Just because you have your own place and have grown up doesn’t mean you can’t come home sometimes,” she says softly.

  I stand up and hug her tightly. When I pull away she wipes a tear from her eye. “I’m sorry, Mom. I will come around more.” I place my hands on her shoulders. “But believe me when I say I’m okay.”

  She nods her head before pulling me in for a hug this time. “I love you,” she says before she turns and walks away.

  “I love you too,” I call out before I watch her drive away. I make my way up to my quiet apartment and find myself running a hot bath. Before I get in, I pull my phone out of my purse and check it. Three missed calls from my mother and one text from my friend Katherine.

  Kat: Hey girl. I’m so sorry but I think I told your mother that you quit school. Actually, I know it was your mother because she yelled it at me. I’m such a bitch. So sorry. Don’t hate me. <3 you

  I let out a little laugh at her message before I place my phone on the charger and then sink down into the lukewarm water in my tub. The talk with my mother actually makes me feel better. It’s hard keeping up with secrets and lies.

  If you would like to read more of Tate and Missy’s story, Unforgettable is available on Amazon, B&N and iBook’s.

  For more information about the author and her books, visit her website- www.shanteltessierauthor.com. You can sign up for her newsletter on her website or you can click on the link below. The newsletter is the only place to get exclusive teasers, first to know of current projects and release dates. And also have chances to win some awesome giveaways. http://goo.gl/4wd9CV

  About the Author

  Shantel is a Texas-born girl who now lives in Tulsa, Oklahoma with her high school sweetheart, who is a wonderful, supportive husband and their four-year-old little princess. She loves to spend time cuddled up on the couch with a good book.

  She is the Amazon Bestselling author of the Undescribable series and is currently working on her fifth book Unpredictable, which is set to release in December. She considers herself extremely lucky to get to be a stay at home wife and mother. Going to concerts and the movies are just a few of her favorite things to do. She hates coffee but loves wine. She and her husband are both huge football fans, college and NFL. And she has to feed her high heel addiction by shopping for shoes weekly.

  Although she has a passion for writing, her family is most important to her. She loves spending evenings at home with her husband and daughter, along with their cat and dog.

  Acknowledgments

  First I would like to thank Jenny Sims, my wonderful editor. I love you to pieces, girl. Thank you for all the help. I truly appreciate it.

  I want to thank my wonderful assistant, Amanda Wooden! Without you I would be lost. I can’t tell you how much I am thankful for you! Love you so much.

  I want to thank, Sommer Stein at Perfect Pear Creative for making me such a beautiful cover. Love you princess and thanks again.

  I want to thank my wonderful blogger and best friend Casey Peeler over at Hardcover Therapy. You have been with me since the start and I would be lost without you. I love you so much and thanks for always being there for me.

  I had originally released DASH in a Bad Boy Biker Anthology. I met some amazing authors, such as, Abigail Lee, Casey Peeler, Kasey Millstead, Morgan Jane, Nina Levine, Vicki Green, Dee Avila, and Rebecca Brooke. I want to thank you lovely ladies for this wonderful opportunity. Love you all

  I want to thank my awesome street team, Shantel's Erotic Entourage. I love these bitches! This lovely group of ladies are awesome at pimping and making me laugh. It’s amazing how you can become so close with someone when they live halfway around the world. These girls are my sisters, and I love them very much.

  To all of my family who has spread the word about my book and shared my author page; I’m very lucky to have such a supportive family. I love them all.

  And last but not least, my readers. Thank you for taking a chance and wanting to read my books. I hope that you all love them as much as I do.