Cooper By The Gross (All 144 Cooper Stories In One Volume)

by Bill Bernico

  “Can’t come soon enough for me,” Tom said. “If I have to argue with one more person over a parking ticket…”

  “Tell me about it,” Matt said. “That’s where I started all those years ago before I joined Dad in the business. I know exactly what you mean.” Matt sipped from his glass of milk and set it down. “What have you got going on today? Do they tell you ahead of time or don’t you find out until roll call?”

  “I’ll find out at roll call,” Tom said. “I’ll probably be riding along with some veteran again. That’s the best way to learn the job, I suppose. Sometimes they have me out by myself, walking a beat, but mostly it’s with a partner in a patrol car.”

  “How about if we keep each other in the loop if either of us hears anything about these murders?” Matt said.

  “I can do that,” Tom told him. He finished his coffee and laid two dollars on the table. “Gotta run. We’ll talk later.” He left the coffee shop and walked to the precinct up the block.

  The waitress brought Matt’s lunch and he finished it in relative peace and quiet before getting back out there to start round two of interviews with the neighbors. This second list covered three square blocks and by the time he’d finished talking to as many people as he could find at home, Matt was beat. His feet ached and he was sick of interacting with people. He folded the list twice, slipped it into his pocket and drove home.

  Benny had arranged to meet with Mrs. Wooster that afternoon at her home. He was ready to lay his cards on the table and tell her that Mr. Wooster was not having an affair and leave it at that. His plan changed when he got there to find that Mrs. Wooster was not alone. She invited Benny inside and guided him to the living room, where Alfred Wooster was waiting. Benny stopped briefly and looked at him and then over at Mrs. Wooster.

  “It’s all right, Mr. Briggs,” Margaret Wooster said, gesturing with her hand toward the sofa. “Alfred and I have talked it all out and I know about Karen and I don’t have a problem with it.”

  Benny reluctantly sat on the sofa next to Mrs. Wooster. Alfred Wooster sat opposite them in a straight-back chair with padded arms.

  It was Alfred who spoke first. “Mr. Briggs,” he began, “I had no idea Karen even existed until three weeks ago. It really took me by surprise to find out I was a father. Karen hadn’t contacted me all these years because her mother had told her that I was killed in a car accident before she was born, but after Charlene, that was her mother, after Charlene died she got curious and started digging around at the record bureau to find out more about me. You can imagine how surprised she was to find out I was still alive.”

  “That must have been quite a shock for both of you,” Benny said.

  “I know it was for me,” Alfred said. “I was afraid to tell Margaret at first, you know, in case it didn’t go well or if Karen tried to shake me down for some money.”

  “But it’s not like that,” Margaret said. “Alfred wants me to meet her. With Karen’s mother dead, Alfred is all she has for a family. And now I want to be a part of that family, too, Mr. Briggs. Would you just send me your bill? I’ll get a check out to you right away. You know, Mr. Briggs, none of this might have happened if I hadn’t hired you in the first place.”

  “How’s that?” Benny said.

  Alfred Wooster shifted in the seat next to Benny and turned toward him. “I hate to tell you this, but I spotted you tailing me. As much as we are satisfied with the outcome, I have to tell you, you need to brush up on your stealth moves. I caught you in my rear view mirror and saw you drive past me. You turned around and drove past Karen’s house again. We were watching you from behind the living room drapes. That’s when I knew Margaret must have suspected something and hired someone like you. Sorry.”

  Benny blushed somewhat, licked his lips and didn’t quite know what to say. He rose from the sofa and the Wooster’s rose with him. Benny shook both their hands and searched for the right parting words. “Well, um, I guess that’s it then. Thanks for your candor. It looks like I’ll have to practice up on my tail jobs.”

  Wooster showed Benny to the door, thanked him again and watched as he walked back to his car, his proverbial tail between his legs.

  The following morning shortly after Matt came into the office he got a call from Lieutenant Cole. “Matt,” Kevin said. “I know this is no way to start your morning, but we found victim number four last night, or should I say, early this morning, around three-thirty. Looks like our boy has struck again. I know you’ve been working on this with Sergeant Maddox and I just thought you’d like to know. I’d better call him right now and let him know that the Burbank copycat may be out there right now sizing up his S victim.”

  “S?” Matt said and then remembered the game of horse. “Oh yeah, H-O-R-S. Gees, I’m getting itchy just thinking about it. Anything I can do from this end?”

  “I don’t think so, Matt,” Kevin said. “Just thought I’d keep you abreast of what’s happening. I’ll talk to you later.”

  As Matt hung up the phone, Benny walked into the office. “Morning, Matt,” he said, and then gestured at the phone. “Another client?”

  “No,” Matt explained. “That was Kevin. They found a fourth victim five hours ago in Hollywood.”

  “Oh oh,” Benny said. “You know what that probably means for Burbank.”

  “I sure hope not,” Matt said, not sure what more he could add. He changed the subject and said, “How’d it go with the Woosters last night?”

  “I’m done with it,” Benny said. “I guess I can send them the bill today.”

  “And the mysterious daughter?”

  “He told his wife everything,” Benny explained. “And she’s all right with it. At least one case had a happy ending.” Benny didn’t bother mentioning being spotted by Alfred Wooster. He’d just make a note to himself to try to improve his technique.

  “That’s great,” Matt said. “So that means you’d be free to help me out today.”

  “Doing what?” Benny said.

  “There’s still one more sheet with two dozen names on it that I have to see,” Matt said. “We can cover that area in half the time with the two of us working on it. I just want this job to be over. My feet are killing me.”

  “Okay,” Benny said. “Where are we going?”

  “Well, first we have to go and see Sergeant Maddox and give him back this list,” Matt said, showing Benny the second list he’d worked on the day before. “He’ll give me the third sheet and we can split it in half.”

  “Right now?” Benny said. “Do I have time to make out the bill for Mrs. Wooster first?”

  “That’s perfect,” Matt said. “That’ll give me a few minutes to unwind and check the paper.” He settled in behind his desk with the morning paper.

  A few minutes later the Wooster bill rolled out of the printer and Benny slipped it into an envelope, licking the flap and sealing it. “I’m ready,” Benny announced.

  Matt folded the paper and laid it on his desk. “Let’s go.”

  After Matt got the third list of names and addresses from Sergeant Maddox, he asked if the sergeant would photocopy the sheet for him. Matt explained that Benny would be helping him cover this neighborhood. Maddox took the sheet and left his office, returning a minute later with two copies. He thanked Matt for the extra effort.

  “Lieutenant Cole called this morning,” Maddox said.

  “I know,” Matt told him. “He called me as well.”

  “I’ve got every available man out there keeping a close watch on things,” Maddox said. “So far the copycat’s pattern has been to duplicate the Hollywood killing within twenty-four hours. That means he may strike sometime between now and three-thirty tomorrow morning.”

  “I’ll see if I can’t get anything more out of those neighbors today,” Matt said. “We’ll let you know immediately if anything turns up.”

  “Thanks, Matt,” Maddox said. “I really appreciate your efforts.”

  Matt took the two sheets of names and returne
d to his car where Benny waited. He handed the photocopy to Benny and kept the original. Matt pointed out a name and address halfway down the sheet. “You can start from there and go to the end. I’ll take the first name and go down from there.”

  What might have taken Matt six hours on his own took less than three hours with Benny’s help. The two met back at the car when they’d finished, Matt getting there ahead of Benny. When Benny appeared several minutes after Matt, he slid into the passenger’s seat and turned toward Matt. “Anything?” Benny said.

  Matt shook his head. “Either they really don’t know anything or they’re scared. Can’t say I’d blame them, either. How’d you do?”

  Benny pulled the notepad from his pocket and flipped it open to something he’d written after an earlier interview with one of the neighbors. “I pretty much struck out myself except for one interesting note. One of the women toward the end of my list told me she saw a cop running down the street after that third woman had been strangled. He must have been patrolling the area and took up a foot pursuit of the killer.”

  “So close yet so far,” Matt said. “He obviously lost him somewhere between the houses, or we wouldn’t have had that fourth victim last night.”

  “I think we’d better go and see Sergeant Maddox and ask him about this,” Benny said. “Maybe that cop can tell us a little bit more about that night.”

  Matt pulled away from the curb and drove straight to the fifth precinct. It was quarter to two and Maddox was in his office when Matt found him talking to a patrolman. Matt knocked, opened the door a few inches and excused himself when he saw that the sergeant had someone in there. The patrolman turned toward the door and Matt immediately recognized his brother-in-law, Tom Bowers.

  Sergeant Maddox motioned for Matt and Benny to come in and invited them to sit. “I believe you know Officer Bowers,” Maddox said to Matt as he sat across from Maddox. “Officer Bowers was just getting ready to go on patrol.”

  Bowers took the hint and excused himself, turning for the door.

  “Wait a minute, Tom,” Matt said and then turned to Maddox. “He might want to hear this, too.”

  Maddox motioned for Bowers to sit while Matt turned the explanations over to Benny. Benny opened his notepad and read what he’d written about one of his interviewees, a Mrs. Craig Haskell. “According to Mrs. Haskell,” Benny said, “she saw a cop; I assume a Burbank cop, in what she perceived as a foot pursuit shortly after the third killing; the woman who had been strangled.” Benny closed his notepad and turned to Maddox. “Do you know who was patrolling that neighborhood on that particular night?”

  Maddox turned and pulled a clipboard off the wall behind his desk and flipped over several pages. He ran his finger down the column and read the names aloud. Officer Ken Albright and Sergeant Bill O’Hara had that beat. They both reported seeing a man running from the scene of the crime; although they didn’t know at the time they saw him that a crime had been committed.”

  “So they didn’t chase him?” Benny asked.

  “If they did, it wasn’t in their report,” Maddox said. “Where are you going with this?”

  Benny shrugged and spread his hands. “I don’t know. I’m just spit-balling to see what sticks. You think this woman saw someone running and then saw the two officers and combined the two images in her mind, coming up with a false memory of what she saw?”

  “Wouldn’t be the first time,” Maddox said.

  Tom Bowers held up his index finger. “Something had occurred to me, Sergeant,” he said. “What if the guy the two officers saw running was wearing a policeman’s uniform? They’re easy enough to get from costume shops and such. And this is Hollywood, or close enough to it. There are several studios in the area with wardrobe departments probably full of police uniforms.” He waited for a reaction and then added, “I’m just saying.”

  “No, that’s a good thought, Officer Bowers,” Maddox said. “As a matter of fact, how’d you like to follow up on that theory?”

  “What about my patrol?” Tom said.

  “I’ll assign someone else to your beat for a day or two while you check out the costume shops and movie studios in the area,” Maddox said. “Sound like something you could sink your teeth into, Officer Bowers?”

  Tom smiled broadly. “Yes, sir,” he said, rising from his chair. “I’ll get on it right away. Thank you, sir.” Tom shook Maddox’s hand and left the office, still smiling.

  “I think he’s going to work out fine with us here at the fifth,” Maddox told Matt.

  “You may be right, Sergeant,” Matt said. “Do you think we could talk with Officer Albright and…” Matt struggled to remember the other officer’s name.

  “Sergeant O’Hara,” Maddox offered. “They’re working second shift.” Maddox glanced up at the wall clock. “They might still be in the parking lot, loading their patrol car. Let me try to raise them on the radio.” Maddox swiveled around in his chair and pressed the transmit button on his base unit. “Car seven come in,” he said and released the transmit button. He waited several seconds and repeated, “Car seven, come in.”

  The base unit squawked back before a voice said, “This is car seven, go ahead.”

  “Bill is that you?” Maddox said.

  Sergeant O’Hara answered, “Yes, Vince, what’s up?”

  “Would you and Officer Albright hold off on your beat for a few minutes and come to my office?” Maddox said.

  “Just give us a minute to stow our gear and lock the car,” O’Hara said. The two policemen made it to Maddox’s office a few minutes later and Sergeant O’Hara let himself in. Officer Albright followed close behind him.

  Maddox stood, extended his arm by way of introduction and said, “Matt Cooper, Benny Briggs, this is Sergeant O’Hara and Officer Albright.”

  Matt and Benny shook hands with the two cops and turned back to Maddox again. Maddox said, “Bill, Mr. Cooper and Mr. Briggs are helping with the copycat murder case and they’d like to ask you both about the night you found the retired school teacher with her head bashed in.”

  O’Hara turned to Matt. “What would you like to know, Mr. Cooper?”

  Matt gestured toward Benny, who started in with the questions. “Sergeant O’Hara,” Benny began. “I interviewed a woman in that general neighborhood who says she saw a policeman running up the street around the time you say you and your partner came upon the dead woman. Did either of you chase anyone that night?”

  O’Hara exchanged glances with Maddox and then looked back at Benny. “Like I told Sergeant Maddox, we weren’t aware at the time that any crime had been committed. Neither one of us took up foot pursuit that night. Is the woman sure it was a policeman she saw running?”

  Benny shrugged. “There’s no way to know for sure, Sergeant. She could have been confused by the appearance of you two shortly afterwards and gotten her facts mixed up. Do either of you remember anything else about that night that you might have forgotten to mention?”

  “It was all there in our report,” O’Hara said. “We didn’t leave anything out.”

  “Matt,” Maddox said, “Did you want to ask them anything?”

  Matt shook his head. “No, that was the only loose end.” He turned to O’Hara. “Thank you both for your time. Sorry to have held you up from your beat.”

  O’Hara turned to Maddox. “Will there be anything else? Otherwise we’ll be heading out.”

  Maddox shook his head. “No, that was about it. Thanks, Bill.”

  The two cops left the office and returned to their patrol car.

  “Sorry they didn’t have more to go on,” Maddox said to Matt. “Maybe the fourth victim would give you something to go on. You’ve finished canvassing everyone on my lists. Why don’t you check with Lieutenant Cole? He may have something for you.”

  “You going to need us anymore after that, Sergeant?” Matt said.

  “There’s nothing more that we need at this time, Matt,” Maddox said. “Thank you both for your time and effort
on this. You saved us a lot of valuable time.”

  “So I can submit my bill then?” Matt said.

  “You can submit it,” Maddox said, “But the city is notoriously slow in paying their bills. Red tape and all, I’m sure you understand.”

  “I can wait,” Matt said. “You be sure and let me know if there’s anything else we can do for the department.” He handed Maddox one of his business cards.

  “You can bet I will,” Maddox said, slipping the card under his desk blotter. He shook both their hands and wished them luck.

  Matt and Benny returned to their car and drove back toward the office. “Aren’t we going to see Kevin?” Benny said.

  “Right after I submit my bill to the City of Burbank,” Matt explained. “There’s going to be enough of a delay without me adding to it. Kevin will still be there when we get there. It shouldn’t take me but a few minutes to print out the invoice. I can mail it on our way to the twelfth precinct.”

  When they got back to their office, Matt sat right down and composed an invoice on his computer while Benny headed directly for the bathroom. He emerged a minute later and stepped over to the sink in the alcove to wash his hands. As he tossed the paper towel in the trash can, Matt looked up and said, “How many hours did you figure for yourself?”

  Benny thought for a moment and then said, “Three and a quarter doing the actual interviews. You charging for drive time?”

  Matt nodded and pressed a few buttons on his desktop calculator. He hit the Total button and pulled the paper out of the carriage. “That’s everything,” he said.

  “Did you figure in your mileage?” Benny said.

  Matt snapped his fingers and pointed at Benny. “Good catch,” he said. “I would have forgotten.” A couple more jabs at the calculator and Matt had a total to enter into his computer. Thirty seconds later two copies of the bill printed out. Matt folded one and stuffed it into the envelope. The other copy went into his filing cabinet. Matt affixed a stamp to the envelope, addressed it by hand and rose from his desk. “That’s it. Let’s go see Kevin.”