Summer Storms

by Amy Clipston

  She knocked once more and then pushed open the door. The room was empty. Tobias’s green window shades were closed, and his bed was neatly made. Maybe he was in the bathroom?

  She marched down the hallway to the small bathroom they shared and found it also empty. Her stomach pitched as their conversation the night before echoed through her mind. Surely he hadn’t left as he’d threatened. He was only angry, and a good night’s sleep should have changed his mind and brought his raging emotions into clear focus.

  Ariana entered Tobias’s room once again and searched for signs he hadn’t left in the middle of the night. But when she checked his dresser, his wallet was gone. Her shoulders tensed with worry. She looked in his closet, and the black duffel bag was also gone. When she opened every dresser drawer and found them empty, threatening tears pricked her eyes.

  “No, no,” she whispered. “Why didn’t you wait another day, Tobias?”

  Ariana returned to the kitchen, where Mamm stood at the stove making home fries. She took a deep breath as Mamm looked at her. “Tobias is gone.”

  “Gone?” Mamm tilted her head. “What do you mean?”

  “Last night he told me he was going to leave home. I asked him to sleep on it, but all his clothes are gone. His duffel bag and wallet are gone too.”

  “Leave? I don’t understand.”

  “He said he was tired of arguing with Dat.” Ariana explained more as Mamm gaped, her dark eyes glistening with tears. “He did it. He left.”

  “Who left?” Dat’s voice startled Ariana.

  “Tobias did.” Mamm’s voice was thin and reedy. “He told Ariana last night he was going to leave home. That was after you told him he had no way to live on his own.”

  Dat looked to Ariana as if she held all the answers. “That doesn’t make sense. Where would he even go?”

  Ariana repeated her conversation with Tobias as Dat stared at her. “I tried to convince him to stay, but I guess he snuck out while we were asleep.”

  Dat’s face reddened. “This is all Jesse’s fault. He’s a bad influence. Maybe he even encouraged Tobias to leave home. And if he hadn’t been racing with Tobias this never would’ve happened. Tobias wouldn’t have crashed the buggy, and he’d be out in the barn helping me with the cows. You’d better stay away from Jesse. I mean it, Ariana. He’s irresponsible and nothing but trouble.”

  Ariana blinked as more tears filled her eyes. She recalled what Jesse said before he left last night, that he had only been trying to stop Tobias from going so fast. But why hadn’t Jesse done a better job before they left Mariella’s house? Jesse could have prevented all this. Not only didn’t he keep Tobias from drinking, but most likely he polished off that bottle of vodka she’d found in his buggy himself.

  As Dat marched outside, Ariana pushed back her shoulders. She had to be strong. She had to find a way to go on without Jesse and Tobias, but it seemed an impossible task.

  Then again, maybe Dat was right. Maybe she was better off without Jesse. But if that was true, why did the thought of losing him rock her to her very core?

  Jesse tied his horse to the fence outside the Smuckers’ dairy barn and started up the rock pathway toward the structure’s large doors. He’d finished all his chores at home and then rushed over to see Marvin, hoping to convince him to revoke his cancelation of his and Ariana’s engagement. He also hoped to explain to Marvin that he wasn’t responsible for Tobias’s accident.

  He reached the barn doors and swallowed a yawn. He’d spent all night thinking of Ariana and trying to come up with a plan to win back Marvin’s favor. He couldn’t let Ariana go. She was the love of his life, and he couldn’t wait to marry her. There had to be a way to make Marvin see he’d do everything in his power to protect Ariana and that he’d never deliberately risk her safety.

  When he realized he and Ariana were truly going too fast for the road conditions yesterday, at the risk—and reality—of not being able to stop Tobias from crashing, he’d slowed down. Only when Tobias’s buggy turned over had he sped up again, desperate to stop Lester before Tobias could be hurt anymore than he already was.

  After taking a deep breath, he stepped into the barn, and the scent of animals drifted over him.

  “Marvin?” He scanned the large dairy barn, searching for Marvin. “Are you in here?”

  Marvin emerged from the back corner, a glower twisting his face as he approached Jesse. “What are you doing here after I told you to stay away?”

  Jesse held up his hands in an attempt to calm the older man. “I just want to talk. You were upset last night and I—”

  “And I’m even more upset today.” He lifted his hat and pushed his hand through his sweaty, dark hair. “Where’s Tobias?”

  “What?” Jesse asked, dumbfounded by the question.

  “Is he staying with you?”

  “No, he’s not with me. He’s not here?”

  “No, he was gone when we got up this morning. All his belongings too. I want to know where he went.” Marvin’s voice was harsh. “Rosanna spent the morning calling all the relatives and freinden we thought he may have reached out to, but no one has seen him or heard from him. I’m sure you know something.”

  “I don’t know anything at all. I’m just as surprised as you are.” Jesse recalled his last conversation with Tobias. “He was upset yesterday. I tried to talk to him, but he was too distraught to listen to me.” And he was also too drunk.

  Jesse opened his mouth to tell Marvin his son had been drinking, but the anger he saw on Marvin’s face prevented him from sharing the truth. Learning Tobias was drunk would push Marvin over the edge, and right now Jesse needed him to calm down. He needed Marvin’s forgiveness and blessing, not his fury. Besides, telling him about the alcohol now ran the risk of sounding like a lie meant to move the blame from him to Tobias.

  “Look, I’m sorry about what happened yesterday.” Jesse fought to keep his voice calm despite his galloping pulse. “I know I made some bad decisions when I was younger, but I would never deliberately do anything that would hurt Arie or put her in jeopardy. I came here to ask for your forgiveness for going too fast yesterday, even though—”

  “I forgive you, but the wedding is still off. You’re not to see my Ariana anymore.”

  “What?” Marvin’s word punched Jesse in the gut. Why was he being so unreasonable? “If you forgive me, then why can’t we move past this?”

  “I am moving past it. I have work to do. I’m sure you have chores to do at your farm too. So you should get home.” Marvin turned and started walking away.

  “Marvin!” Jesse called after him, his voice shaky. “You’ve known me nearly my whole life, and you know how much Ariana means to me. Why are you treating me like this?”

  Marvin spun, lancing him with a hard glare. “If it weren’t for you, mei sohn would be here, and his buggy wouldn’t be in shambles.”

  Jesse blew out a tremulous rush of air as Marvin disappeared into the back of the large barn. Anguish and despair swamped him. His world was crumbing around him. In less than twenty-four hours, he’d lost his fiancée and his best friend. How had this happened? And, more importantly, how could he fix it?

  “Jesse?”

  Craning his neck to look over his shoulder, Jesse’s body relaxed when he took in the sight of Ariana staring at him. Despite her deep frown, she looked radiant clad in a rose-colored dress with her hair covered by a matching scarf.

  “Hi.” A weight lifted off his shoulders as he drank in the sight of her gorgeous face. “I didn’t hear you walk into the barn.”

  “What are you doing here?”

  When her frown didn’t soften, his shoulders stiffened with apprehension. “I came to try to talk to your dat and to hopefully see you. I couldn’t sleep after the way things were left last night. I worried about you and our relationship all night long.”

  “You should go.” She fingered her black apron and her eyes glistened.

  “Was iss letz?” He closed the distance between t
hem and reached for her hand, but she backed away before he could touch her.

  “Tobias is gone.” Her voice was watery. “He left sometime last night, and he didn’t leave us a note. We have no idea where he is.”

  “I know.” Jesse sighed. “Your dat told me.”

  “Do you know where he is?”

  “No, I don’t. Your dat asked me the same thing. How could I possibly know where he is?”

  “He told me last night he was thinking of leaving, and I begged him to sleep on it. I told him not to make any decisions before morning, but he left anyway.” She studied him. “If he was already thinking about leaving before he got home last night, then he could have told you where he was going. You also talked with him for quite a while at the lake yesterday.” She lifted her chin, defiance on her face. “You’re his best freind. Why wouldn’t he tell you he was leaving? I would tell Mariella if I were thinking of making a big decision like that. Why didn’t you stop him?”

  “He didn’t say anything to me about leaving. He only talked about how your dat treats him.” Jesse pinched the bridge of his nose, trying in vain to calm his frayed nerves. “If I had known Tobias was thinking about leaving, I would’ve tried to talk him out of it.”

  He studied her eyes. “Where is this hostility coming from? You know me. You know how much I care about you and your family.”

  She shook her head. “Actually, I don’t think I know you at all.”

  “What does that mean?”

  She looked past him as if checking to see if Marvin was there and then lowered her voice. “I found the vodka bottle in the back of your buggy. You were drinking yesterday. The Jesse I knew would never drink. You’re not the person I thought you were.”

  “Wait a minute.” He held his hands up. “That wasn’t my bottle. I was just disposing of it.”

  She crossed her arms over her apron. “Do you think I’m that naïve?”

  “I’m telling you the truth. It wasn’t mine. It was Tobias’s.” He explained his conversation with Tobias when he found him behind the barn. “I had to wrestle the bottle away from him. I poured the remaining vodka out and then told Tobias I would dispose of the bottle for him. I was going to throw it out before I got home.”

  “I don’t believe you. I don’t think you would have risked my safety if you hadn’t been drinking.”

  “Why would I lie to you? I told you. I was only trying to stop Tobias. Ya, I was driving fast, and I know you were scared. But as soon as I realized we could be in danger, I slowed down.”

  “It doesn’t matter. Mei dat has forbidden me from seeing you.” She pointed toward the barn door. “You should go before he catches us talking.”

  Confusion and hurt flooded him. “Don’t you still love me?”

  She stared down at the toe of her black shoe.

  “We can work this out.” He placed his finger under her chin and angled her face so she was forced to look him in the eye. “I won’t give up until you believe me and your dat allows us to get married.”

  “I can’t see you anymore.” Her voice broke.

  “It will be okay,” he said, his heart breaking as a tear trickled down her chin. “I promise you I’ll make this right.”

  “You can’t.” She wiped the tear away and then took a step back, away from his touch. “It’s over between us.”

  “Why are you giving up so easily? I know you’ll soon realize I’m telling the truth, and I just told you I’ll talk to your dat.”

  “If you truly cared about me,” she began, tears flowing down her cheeks, “then you never would have been drinking, and you would have stopped mei bruder from leaving my family.”

  Turning, she ran out of the barn. He rushed after her, calling her name, but she kept going until she was inside the house.

  Jesse stood beside his buggy and swiped his hand down his face. Somehow he’d managed to make the situation worse. Now he was at a loss as to how to repair his relationship with Ariana and restore their engagement.

  As he stared at her house, guilt and regret coiled through him. He should have stopped Tobias from driving last night, but how could he have prevented him from climbing into his buggy? Perhaps if he’d told Ariana her brother was drunk then, she could have convinced Tobias to let her guide the horse home, and none of this would have happened.

  But he still didn’t understand why Marvin was so determined to blame him for everything that had happened.

  Squinting, he looked up at the blue summer sky. He needed guidance. He needed help getting Ariana back and convincing her father he was worthy of her hand.

  As he climbed into his buggy, Jesse sent a silent prayer up to God, begging Him for guidance.

  “You broke up with Jesse and Tobias is gone?” Mariella’s eyes widened as she sat on the bench beside Ariana at church.

  “Ya,” Ariana whispered in response. Despite crying herself to sleep last night, she managed to tell Mariella the entire story without shedding a tear. She left out the part about the empty vodka bottle since she still had a difficult time accepting that Jesse had been drinking and then lied to her.

  “Ach, mei liewe. Are you all right?”

  Ariana shrugged, hoping to give the appearance everything was okay, even though she felt as if her heart had been trampled by a team of horses. “I’ll be all right eventually.” No, she’d never be all right without Jesse and Tobias in her life.

  “Where is Tobias now?”

  “We don’t know.” Ariana moved closer and lowered her voice. “I keep hoping he’ll contact us to at least let us know he’s okay. Mei mamm is distraught. She can’t handle not knowing where he is. We’ve called all our relatives, and no one has heard from him.”

  “I’m so sorry.” Mariella sniffed, and her brown eyes sparkled in the low light of the Fisher family’s barn where the church service was being held today. “I hope he contacts your family soon.” She looked over toward the unmarried men and her eyes widened. “Jesse is staring at you.”

  “Don’t look at him,” Ariana warned through gritted teeth as her cheeks heated. “I’ve been trying to ignore him.”

  Mariella raised an eyebrow. “You’ve loved him your whole life. How can you ignore him?”

  “I don’t know.” Ariana sighed. “You’re right. It will take some time for me to mend my broken heart.”

  Against her better judgment, Ariana sneaked a glance toward the section where Jesse sat, and her eyes locked with his. Her breath paused, and her pulse thrummed as he studied her. His handsome face contorted with a frown, and she longed to rush over and hug him. But she couldn’t. Not only would the behavior be inappropriate, but her father had made it clear she was to steer clear of him. Also, she was still angry with him for drinking and then putting her at risk during their trek home on Friday. Tobias was to blame too, but . . .

  As much as her heart ached for Jesse, she had to somehow put him out of her mind. She was better off without him. He was too irresponsible.

  But how could she forget Jesse when she loved him so much?

  Jesse leaned his shoulder against the corner of the Fishers’ barn. He’d tried in vain not to stare at Ariana during the three-hour service, but his gaze gravitated to her as if pulled by an invisible magnet. She’d looked at him only once and then kept her eyes focused on the hymnal or on her lap, staring at her emerald-green dress. He yearned to talk to her and find out how she could turn off her feelings for him after all their years as friends, then dating.

  Last night he’d stayed awake for the second night in a row, racking his mind for an idea of how to get her alone to talk to her. During the service he decided standing outside the barn and watching for her to walk by with a serving tray during the noon meal seemed to be the best solution. Now he just had to patiently wait for her to appear.

  When Ariana and Mariella headed from the barn toward the Fishers’ house, his stomach clenched. This was his chance.

  “Arie!” he called. She stilled for a brief moment before continuing tow
ard the house. “Ariana Kathryn Smucker!”

  Ariana stopped and turned toward him. When her eyes focused on him, she hesitated. Mariella gave him a tentative nod. Then she took Ariana’s tray from her and whispered something before nudging Ariana forward. Ariana paused and then looked toward the barn before hurrying toward him.

  “Danki, Mariella,” he whispered as his shoulders relaxed slightly.

  “What do you want, Jesse?” Ariana hissed as she motioned for him to follow her around to the back of the barn. “I’ve told you I can’t see you. If mei dat sees us together, he will explode.”

  “I know, but I can’t stand the silence between us. It’s killing me.”

  Ariana clasped her hands together, and something in her eyes softened. Was he getting through to her? His pulse leapt with hope.

  “I shouldn’t be talking to you.”

  “How are you?” he asked, ignoring her warning. He stood so close to her that he could smell the familiar aroma of her favorite vanilla lotion. He bit back the urge to caress her soft cheek.

  “It’s been horrible. I tiptoed downstairs last night to get a glass of water, and I heard mei mamm crying in her bedroom. She misses Tobias so much, and we haven’t heard from him. Mei dat has been quiet and I can tell he’s bedauerlich. Tobias told me it would make things better for Mamm and me if he left, but he’s only made everything worse.” She paused and sniffed. “And I miss him too.”

  “Do you miss me?” Jesse held his breath with anticipation. Please say yes!

  “I have to go.”

  Before he could stop her, Ariana rushed back around the side of the barn and hurried toward the Fishers’ back door. Jesse kicked a rock and leaned against the side of the barn as disappointment and affliction crawled up his back and stung his eyes.

  “Jesse?”