by Nikki Chase
“I know. But I’m okay. You said it yourself.”
“Yeah. I can’t imagine how it would feel to lose you. It would be the worst thing ever.”
“You have Ali now. You’ll be fine,” Joanne says, smiling weakly.
Ali. Fuck.
She was home and I said some things. I can’t remember the words, but I was brusque and impatient with her.
It wasn’t her fault that I wasn’t keeping track of where Joanne’s documents were, but I misdirected my frustration at her.
But I’ll worry about that later. There’s one very important deal that I need to close right now.
“Jo,” I say in a serious tone, “while I was stressing out about how you were doing, there were some other things I was worried about. And I’d rather not have to worry about those things.”
“You mean about Brody?” Joanne asks, without an ounce of hesitation. We’ve talked about this enough for her to know how determined I am to get her to agree to my plan.
“Yeah.” I watch as Joanne stays quiet, seemingly lost in thought. I ask, “Why not? Just tell me why, and we’ll… We’ll come up with a solution together.”
“I already have a solution in place, Zeke.”
“But tell me why my solution isn’t better than yours,” I insist.
“The last time I gave you a reason, you went and got married. This might sound crazy, but I almost thought you got married just because of what I told you.”
“And now you see you were wrong. You’ve seen Ali and me together.”
“Yeah, you’re right. But I don’t know if I should burden you with such a big responsibility,” Joanne says, repeating the same thing she has already told me multiple times.
“You said you didn’t want me to raise Brody on my own. You didn’t want to disrupt my lifestyle because I was a bachelor with a hectic work schedule and too many girlfriends,” I say, listing the reasons she gave me herself. “Well, now I’m married, so Brody won’t have to worry about a new girlfriend every week. And you’ve just seen how easy it is for me to get away from my business when I have to, so my schedule shouldn’t be a problem.”
“I don’t know…” Joanne lets her sentence hang in the air, with no conclusion.
“You don’t have any good reason why not. You know I’ll raise Brody better than anybody else.”
“Sherry’s doing a pretty good job at it,” Joanne says, mentioning of Trevor’s sister, who has been taking care of Brody.
“Yeah, but you’ve never liked her. And from your stories, it sounds like the feeling is mutual,” I say.
“I want to tell you off really badly right now, for implying that some people might not like me, but you’re right.” Joanne sighs. “I think she blames me for Trevor’s death. Maybe she feels like I could’ve stopped him from doing dangerous work.”
“You and I both know there was no way to stop Trevor from doing anything he’d set his mind to do. As her sister, Sherry should know that.”
“Yeah. I guess grief does weird things to you,” Joanne says.
“She hasn’t even been bringing Brody here much, has she? I haven’t bumped into her at all in the past month, even though I’m here almost every day.”
“Yeah, it’s been a while since she last came to visit me. I don’t really care about seeing her at this point, but I do miss my baby.”
“I’ll do anything to let you see Brody as much as you want.” I can tell Joanne is starting to see my point. I add, “You have the power here. You have the choice. You don’t want Brody to grow up hating you because of Sherry’s propaganda, do you? You know that’s a possibility.”
“Yeah,” she admits. “But don’t you and Ali want to spend some time alone? You’re newlyweds, and you’ve already lost so much time.”
“Exactly. We’ve already lost so much time, so we’re making up for it by having a baby right away. We’re already trying,” I say.
“Really?” Joanne asks, narrowing her eyes at me suspiciously.
“Yeah. Ali is already starting to buy pregnancy test kits,” I say, remembering the way Ali was waving one of those things in my face earlier this afternoon.
Joanne remains quiet, but I can tell the gears are turning in her head. She’s about to agree with me.
I need to close this deal right now. Today.
“Ali’s really excited about getting pregnant.” I know Joanne likes the fact that Sherry already has two kids. She likes knowing Brody is in the hands of an experienced mom, and he’s growing up with siblings. I say, “Brody will grow up with a brother, or a sister, or multiple brothers and sisters.”
Joanne’s lips widen into a smile, and I know I’ve got her. She can already see it in her mind—me, Ali, our baby, and Brody. One happy family.
“Are you sure?” Joanne asks.
“I’ve never been more sure in my life,” I say. “I can already imagine the kids running around the apartment. We’ll have shitty plastic toys all over the place and it’ll be a big mess. But I look forward to it. I’m ready, Jo.”
To my surprise, it’s easy to picture this future.
Before Ali, having Brody in my custody was an abstract concept. I just knew that he shouldn’t be living with a woman who doesn’t even respect Joanne enough to schedule regular visits. He’s my family and he should be with me.
But now, knowing Ali might already be pregnant, I can see it. Me coming home after a long day at the office, feeling energized as soon as I come home, welcomed by the kids and Ali.
Funny. When I tried to picture it before, there was no Ali in my imagination. There was only me and Brody—and maybe a nanny. But now I can see it so clearly. I bet she’d make a great mom.
“Give me the papers,” Joanne says.
“What?” I turn to look at her and realize she’s been watching me daydream about my new life as a family man.
“The document for making you Brody’s guardian in case something were to happen to me.” Joanne’s wearing a smile on her face. She seems happy, despite her lack of physical strength. She asks, “You have the document, right?”
“Of course,” I say, quickly grabbing the folder on the nightstand that contains all of Joanne’s paperwork.
Aiden has already prepared all of them and tailored them to my specific requirements. Once Joanne signs them, I’ll have a bullet-proof claim over Brody.
I pull out a couple pages that are stapled together and hand them over to Joanne, along with a fountain pen.
“I don’t know what it is today, Zeke, but you’ve convinced me,” she says as she starts to sign on the lines that have been marked with neon-green Post-It stickers.
I watch with fascination as Joanne’s signatures make this decision official.
This is it. I’m actually going to be Brody’s father in case Joanne were to succumb to her illness.
This feels final. My life is going to completely change. But I’m not freaking out. I’m absolutely calm, and much of it is because I know Ali’s going to be there with me.
The best lies contain some truth.
When I first asked Joanne to let me be the one to raise Brody, I wasn’t ready. But now I am. I really am. And Joanne is perceptive enough to see that.
This whole thing with Ali—the marriage, the baby—it all started out as a means to an end. But now I want it.
I want all of it. Not just Brody, but also Ali and our baby.
I want a little family to call my own, and I want to do it with Ali.
Ali
“Alejandra!” Alice shouts as she knocks on my bedroom door.
I think I’m just going to ignore her, pretend that I’m asleep or something.
Ever since I got here last night, I’ve just been lying here in my old bed, wallowing in my misery. Not even the happy squeals of Seth and Alice’s baby could entice me to go outside—that’s just going to remind me of everything I want that I can’t have.
I should be happy. I’ve gotten everything I set out to get when I left this mansion
a few months ago.
I have a big stash of money in the bank because Zeke paid me a portion of the money right after we got married. I have more than enough to start my own life.
I can go back to university and get my law degree. I can live wherever I want—I can rent the biggest, swankiest apartment in any city. Hell, if I feel like taking a whole year off to live in a Tibetan monastery to seek enlightenment, I can do that too.
I mean, it turns out I’m not pregnant, so I can start over. I can just forget about the whole fake marriage thing. Just consider the whole thing a false start. A mistake.
But when I think about the negative result on the pregnancy test, it makes me feel kind of sad. I took another one last night as soon as I got here, not knowing what to expect.
For my own good, I probably shouldn’t see Zeke again. He makes me lose my mind. I’m not rational when it concerns him.
I keep thinking that if I were pregnant with his baby, at least I’d still have something of him. Something that links us together. An actual human being whose genes are half mine and half his.
I imagine our baby would have our dark eyes and hair. The child would grow up bilingual, and he or she would do well at school, just like I always have. I’d let the kid off the hook too many times, because he or she would have inherited Zeke’s easy charm and knows exactly what to say to get out of trouble.
I take a deep breath and let it all out in a big sigh. None of that is going to happen now. Not ever.
But no baby is a good thing. I should learn to take care of myself before I take on such a big responsibility.
“Alejandra!” Alice knocks again, more urgently this time.
I heave another sigh. I was hoping everyone would leave me alone.
They actually have not bothered me at all since last night, except for when Alice asked me if I wanted to join them for dinner last night, and then for lunch a couple of hours ago.
Maybe she really wants me to have that lunch? I don’t think an invitation to lunch warrants the kind of urgency with which she’s pounding on the door right now. But then both Seth and Alice are weird when it comes to food.
I swing my feet down over the edge of the bed and let the momentum help bring the rest of my body up.
“Alejandra!” Alice yells out again from outside, her voice becoming more and more urgent by the second.
“Yeah!” I shout back as I pad toward the door, the marble floor cold under my bare feet.
When I open the door, Alice looks like she has seen a ghost. Her blue eyes are bigger than I’ve ever seen them. I know I’m usually made up and wearing nicer clothes, but I don’t look as ghastly as her expression would suggest…do I?
“Hey, uh, there’s a man downstairs looking for you.” Alice stumbles all over her words, like she can’t get them out fast enough.
Immediately, my whole body wakes up. This is unusual. Alarmingly unusual.
“Downstairs?” I ask with a frown. “You mean at the front door? Not at the gate?”
Seth has heavy security all around the mansion, and he doesn’t let many people get past the gate.
Whoever this man is, Seth has probably let him through. But why would he do that? And why is Alice panicking?
Faintly, I hear voices from down the hall. Male voices. Loud, angry voices.
What is going on?
I turn toward at Alice again, waiting for some kind of an explanation. But she’s just looking at me, wide-eyed and impatient.
“You’d better come,” she says.
“I should probably change my cloth—”
“Now,” she cuts me off. “There’s no time.”
Alice grabs my hand and pulls me down the long hallway, toward where the voices are coming from. Her blonde hair floats in the air with every step from how fast she’s walking.
“What’s going on, Alice? Who’s looking for me?” I ask as I try to keep up.
As the voices grow louder, I recognize the louder, angrier voice as Seth’s. But who is he angry at? And why?
“I don’t know. He has an unusual name. It starts with a Z, I think.”
My heart skips a beat. When it starts working again, it pounds against my rib cage, hammering so hard it feels like my whole body is shaking.
“Zeke?” I ask.
Ali
“Seth!” I shout as soon as I see what’s happening in the living room.
Seth has pulled his fist back, about to punch Zeke—not for the first time, it seems, judging from the way Zeke’s already doubled over.
Seth turns to look at me as Alice runs over and pulls his hand away. This would be a funny sight if the atmosphere wasn’t so tense. Alice may be tall for a woman, but Seth is obviously much stronger and there’s nothing she can do to restrain him.
“What do you think you’re doing?” I ask sternly as I glare at Seth.
“Doing something you couldn’t do yourself,” Seth says.
“Do you even know what’s going on?” I ask again, incredulous.
“I don’t need to know all the details to recognize the guy who made you cry.”
I know Seth can be a violent man. He has been involved in more physical fights than I can count. Admittedly, it’s not a thoroughly bad thing. His penchant for solving problems through violence has successfully gotten both Alice and me out of some dangerous situations.
But this is not one of those situations. I’m perfectly safe, and there’s no need for violence.
Besides, I don’t need Seth to fight my battles on my behalf. I can deal with this one myself.
Doubt fills my chest as my gaze falls on Zeke’s strapping figure. Beaten up and bloody, he’s clutching his abdomen, his eyes flicking between Seth and me.
Damn it. Already, I feel the urge to rush over there and tend to his injuries. I want to bandage him up and make him feel better.
I don’t know if I can handle this the right way, but I know for sure that Seth is not doing that for me. I sure as hell don’t need Seth to land his fist on Zeke.
“Just let me deal with this myself, please, Seth,” I say with as much conviction as I can muster.
I notice Seth looks as flawless as he always does—not a crease in his suit. Zeke hasn’t been fighting back at all, even though he matches Seth in both size and strength.
“Okay,” Seth says as he folds his arms across his chest and remains standing in place.
“Alone,” I say, clarifying what I thought was already obvious.
“Are you sure?” Seth asks.
“Yes.”
“Okay.” With that, Seth finally walks away, albeit reluctantly. I can hear Alice admonishing him as their footsteps get further and further away, echoing in this big mansion.
Turning my attention to Zeke, I realize he’s been watching me.
“That’s hot,” he says with a grin from the other end of the living room. “You look so sexy when you’re rescuing me.”
“Why didn’t you fight back?” I ask.
Zeke shrugs. “The way he was talking, it felt like I deserved it. Besides, if I had fought back, I would’ve missed your valiant rescue.”
“You’re an idiot.” Gesturing at the couches, I say, “You should probably sit down.”
Zeke groans as he slowly steps toward one of the couches and takes a seat. He moves like a decrepit octogenarian.
“What did Seth say exactly?”
“Something about how I hurt you.” When Zeke looks up at me, he has puppy-dog eyes that make my heart melt.
Damn it, Zeke. I can’t go around feeling things for you.
“How did you find me?” I ask again, trying to change the subject.
“I know many things about you, Ali,” Zeke says softly. “When Walter’s operation fell apart and the whole thing blew up on the news, I devoured all the articles related to the incident. I found out you were living here with the guy who helped you escape. I used to think he was your boyfriend or something. And that’s one of the reasons why I didn’t reach out sooner
. I thought you were with someone else, and I didn’t want to disturb you.”
Okay. I thought that was a safe question to ask, but then Zeke came up with an answer that just messes with my mind.
Just how many things has he never told me? What else do I not know that I should?
Damn it, now I need to sit down.
I walk across the living room, suddenly aware that I’m wearing the loose, stained T-shirt and old shorts I slept in. I didn’t expect to get out of my bedroom today, much less see Zeke get beaten into by Seth.
This was supposed to be a quiet day, but nothing about this is quiet.
I take a seat on a different couch, across the big coffee table from Zeke.
If his presence and words are enough to affect me like this, I’d stand no chance against even the lightest, most innocent, most unintended touch. So I’d better stay as far away as I can.
“And what are you doing here?” I ask, squirming in my seat from the way Zeke's gaze penetrates my flesh and peers into my soul.
“Looking for my wife. She didn't come home last night, and I got worried.”
“I’m not your wife, Zeke. Let's drop the pretense,” I say, anger simmering just below the surface. Who is he trying to fool?
“Okay. But I mean it, I want to take you home with me, and I want you to come as my wife.” There's sincerity in his voice, and I almost let myself believe those words.
But then, it's not like he’s ever deliberately lied to me. It's just that he's so damn inconsistent.
He’s hot and cold. He's one thing now, and a different thing altogether the next moment.
That's what makes Zeke so dangerous. He believes the things that he says, so I’m inclined to trust him. The problem is, his mind changes so much, they may as well be untrue.
It's always been like this with him. For a few blissful moments, I get to live a beautiful lie—it’s easy to believe something I want to be true—and then everything falls apart. It would be a mistake to take Zeke literally.
“Why now?” I ask suspiciously. “I lived with you for weeks and you never said anything like that. You said you love me, but you never gave me any indication that you were willing to commit. And now that I've left, suddenly you want it all?” As our eyes lock, I say, “You only ever want me when you can't have me.”