Edge of the Past

by Jennifer Comeaux

  “Okay,” she said.

  Liza hopped up and down, and I nodded thanks to Elena. “We’ll be back around lunch.”

  “Liza, you have my phone number in your backpack?” Elena asked. “You use Emily’s phone to call if you need me.”

  I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. We were going to Boston, not the other side of the country.

  Liza grabbed her bag, and we were soon on our way with the rest of the morning commuters. I felt excited to have some time with Liza without Elena judging my every move. We spent the entire car ride talking about Liza’s favorite books, and I got to reminisce about the ones I’d read as a kid. I promised to give her some of my old books from my parents’ house when we stopped there.

  We reached Brookline mid-morning and parked in my parents’ empty driveway. “Your mom and dad aren’t home?” Liza asked.

  “They have early classes on Fridays. Don’t worry, I have a key.” I smiled. “Let’s get to Louann’s first and then we’ll go in the house when we come back.”

  Finding a parking spot in downtown Boston would’ve been impossible that time of day, so I’d opted to take the T. It would also give me a chance to show Liza more of the city.

  We walked along the tree-shaded sidewalk, and Liza gazed at the Victorian style homes on both sides of the street. “This reminds me of my neighborhood in New York. Did Elena tell you we’re gonna go visit my friends at my old rink after Worlds?”

  “No, she didn’t.” I assumed Sergei hadn’t been told yet either. “That’s really cool.”

  “I can’t wait to see my friend, Hope. I miss her so much. And my coach said she’ll give me a few lessons while I’m there.”

  “I bet everyone’s going to be so excited to see you.”

  “I’m excited to see them!” Liza did a little skip.

  We turned from the residential area onto the commercial block, and I told Liza how my friends and I would ride our bikes to all the shops.

  She pointed at Brookline Booksmith. “Ooh, we have to go in there!”

  I grinned. “My favorite spot of all. We can stop for a minute on our way back.”

  I stayed close to Liza’s side as we crossed busy Beacon Street and waited on the median at the Coolidge Corner T stop. We’d missed most of the crowd leaving for work, so only a few people stood with us. Liza continued to look all around at the stores and restaurants, and she curved her neck up toward the big clock above the corner drugstore.

  “That’s pretty,” she said.

  “Yeah, the building looks like something you’d see in Germany.”

  “I remember when you and Chris skated in Germany two years ago. You won gold.”

  I tapped the top of her head with my finger. “You have a good memory.”

  The Green Line C train approached from the right and rumbled to a stop, and I dropped in the exact change for the fare. Twenty minutes later we were at the Boylston station and after a quick walk, Louann’s shop.

  While I put on my new dress to make sure the final adjustments worked, Louann let Liza try on a few of the off-the-rack costumes. Liza and I both twirled in front of the big mirror, making skating poses and giggling, and I thought about Aubrey saying, “You could be the cool stepmom.” Was I capable of being more than that?

  My cell phone rang, and when I saw the caller, I dampened my laughter before answering.

  “Hi, Elena.”

  “I want to check if Liza is okay,” she croaked.

  “She’s great. We should be leaving the shop in a few minutes.”

  I shook my head as Elena said a few words and then ended the call. Liza picked up another costume she wanted to try on, but I didn’t want to dawdle much longer at Louann’s if we were going to browse the bookstore. I asked Liza to change into her clothes, and she gave me a frown but complied.

  Sunny Boston Common and the picturesque Public Garden called to me from across Boylston Street, and I wished I had more time to take Liza on a stroll. But Elena would probably call again if we ran just a few minutes behind schedule. I led Liza into the train station, and we rode the escalator down to the underground platform.

  A train was waiting on the tracks, and Liza jumped from the last step of the escalator. “Let’s catch it before it leaves!” she said, running toward the open doors.

  “Liza, wait!” I cried as I noticed the digital sign on the train read D–Riverside. It wasn’t the C line we needed.

  Liza kept running and I took off after her, but two people cut in front of me, blocking my path. As I dodged them, I watched Liza hop onto the subway and turn around to look for me.

  And then the doors closed.

  Chapter Twenty

  No! No! No!

  I lurched forward and banged on the door with my fist, but the train pulled away with Liza inside watching me with terror in her eyes.

  No!

  I fumbled with my costume bag and stumbled away from the track as the train disappeared into the dark tunnel. I’d experienced sickening fear at competitions, but nothing like this. My entire body clenched, paralyzed by cold horror. A few people on the platform gave me understanding looks, and I couldn’t do anything except stare at them as my mind raced.

  What should I do? Call the police? Get on the next train and hope Liza’s waiting at the next stop?

  The second option sounded the best. Liza was a smart kid. She’d know to exit the train and wait for me… right?

  I squeezed the cross on my necklace as I bobbed up and down and gazed down the tunnel for the next train. What was taking so long? Minute after minute ticked by with nothing but eerie silence from the track.

  The subsequent squealing of metal on metal was the most beautiful sound I’d ever heard. A gust of air blew into the station along with the train, and I boarded the moment the doors opened, staying close to the doorway. I needed Liza to see me right away.

  I prayed every second of the ride and used my shaky hands to grip the handrail, bracing myself for the stop. Please, God, let Liza be there.

  We emerged from the darkness and into the station, and I darted my eyes across the platform, yearning to see a little girl with a purple backpack. My stomach plummeted as only adult faces watched the train screech to a stop.

  I pressed my palm to my sweaty forehead. What do I do now? Stay on the train? No, this is the B line!

  I rushed through the doors and into the dank station. Would Liza have gone up to the street? No, no, you’re not thinking clearly.

  I stood on the mostly empty platform with my hand on my head, forcing myself to focus while my pulse sprinted faster and faster. I had to call the transit police. They could start looking out for Liza at all the D line stops.

  Another train roared into the station, and the D on the digital sign made me pause with my fingers around my phone. I could board and look for Liza myself. But what if she was in trouble? Fear tightened its hold on me, and I shuddered.

  My phone showed no bars. I pounded it against my palm, trying to shake a connection into it. When my throat began to ache with tears, I took a few deep breaths and made a quick decision. I ran to the train and hurried inside to the front.

  “Excuse me!” I rushed up to the conductor. “Can you call the police? My fiancé’s daughter got separated from me and she’s on another train.”

  The man turned his weathered face toward me. “Which one is she on?”

  “The last D that left Boylston.”

  He adjusted his glasses and picked up his radio. “I need a description.”

  “Nine years old, black hair, blue eyes, umm… umm… carrying a purple backpack.”

  “Name?” he asked as he pressed a button on the radio.

  “Liza. Liza Overett.”

  The driver called in the information along with my name and cell number as he guided the train out of the station. I tapped my foot, hoping for immediate confirmation of the search effort.

  “They put out an alert,” he said.

  “Thank you,” I said and slid ov
er to a window seat to keep watch for Liza.

  We traveled underground through three stations before rising to street level. I squinted at the sunshine and looked down at the phone still in my hand. Four bars showed now. I should’ve given Liza my number. Then she’d have it with her when the police found her. And I’d thought Elena was ridiculous for giving Liza hers.

  Elena.

  When she found out about this, she was never going to let me take Liza anywhere ever again. And maybe I didn’t deserve the chance. Why hadn’t I held her hand? Tears stung my eyes, and I hugged the garment bag to my chest. Liza was probably so scared. I had to get to her.

  My phone rang, and I jumped at the sound. I stopped breathing when I saw the caller.

  Sergei.

  I stared at the phone, unable to bring myself to answer. How would I tell him I’d lost his daughter? After the ringing stopped, the message notification chimed. I dialed my voicemail and listened to Sergei’s happy voice.

  Hey, I hope you and Liza are having a great time. If anyone can make her smile after her rough night, it’s you. Call me later and we can make a plan for dinner. I love you.

  I disconnected and struggled to keep my face from crumpling. You have to hold it together.

  The train seemed to be moving slower than any subway I’d ever ridden in my life. I wanted to get out and run the rest of the way. If Liza wasn’t at any of the stops, had she gone all the way to the end of the line in Riverside? Hadn’t the driver of her train been alerted? Why hadn’t the police found her yet?

  My eyes hurt from straining to scour each stop through the window. Thirty minutes had gone by. We were getting farther away from the city, and I had no idea if I was even getting closer to Liza. Every minute that passed made me feel more ill. So many people rode the T, including some who might prey on a lost little girl. The thought of someone approaching Liza, wanting to harm her… I shivered again and rocked back and forth in my seat. God, please watch over her. Please keep her safe.

  My ringtone sounded, zapping me with a ray of hope, and the Boston area code on the screen further raised my excitement. I slapped the phone to my ear and answered in a rush.

  “Emily Butler?” the man asked.

  “Yes!”

  “This is Officer Ben Cager with the MBTA Police. We found Liza.”

  The heaviness sitting on my chest lifted and released a flood of tears. I threw my head back and looked up at the roof, silently sending a long stream of thanks to God.

  The officer explained Liza was with him at the Packards Corner Station on the B line. The D train she’d originally boarded had to be taken out of service at Kenmore, so she’d transferred to the B train, thinking it would take her to Brookline. If I’d stayed on the first train I tried, I would’ve caught up to her!

  I realized I needed to get off the T before I ended up deeper in the suburbs. At the next stop, I hopped off and arranged to meet Officer Cager and Liza two stops back. While I waited for the next inbound train, the policeman would drive Liza to Beaconsfield Station.

  When I reached Beaconsfield, I ran up the steep stairs to the street and breathlessly swerved my head in both directions. An officer stepped out of a blue and white police car and opened the rear door, and I sprinted toward him as Liza slid out of the back seat.

  “Liza!” I dropped the garment bag onto the ground and pulled Liza into my arms.

  She sobbed quietly on my shoulder, and I started weeping again. Never had I been so happy and relieved to see someone. I ran a soothing hand over Liza’s silky hair while keeping one arm clamped firmly around her back. I didn’t want to let her go.

  Liza clung to my neck and gasped through her sobs. “I’m so sorry.”

  “It’s okay,” I choked out and rubbed her back. “I’m just so glad you’re safe.”

  I had to speak to the officer, so I stood up straight but kept my arms around Liza’s shoulders. She locked her grip around my waist.

  “Thank you so much for finding her,” I said.

  “She’s a brave little girl.” The young man smiled. “She didn’t cry until I called her mother.”

  Part of the heavy weight returned to my chest, and I gulped. “You talked to Elena?”

  “When Liza said she’d been with her father’s fiancé, I asked if she had her dad’s phone number so I could confirm. She didn’t, but she had her mother’s.”

  “Elena must’ve been hysterical.”

  “She was very upset.” Officer Cager’s smile turned sympathetic. “I let her talk to Liza, so she could hear that she’s fine.”

  That wasn’t going to lessen Elena’s fury with me. I could already hear her screaming at me that I wasn’t capable of taking care of a child.

  “I can give you a ride so you don’t have to get back on the T,” Officer Cager said.

  “That would be great,” I said. “Thank you.”

  I picked up my wrinkled bag and climbed into the backseat of the police car with Liza. After I gave the officer my parents’ address, I turned to Liza whose sobs had simmered to sniffles.

  “I got on the next train after yours because I thought you might get off at the next stop and wait for me,” I said.

  “I remembered the big clock from the stop by your house, so I was gonna go there and wait for you, but then this lady with a baby sat next to me on the train, and she asked if I was by myself.” Liza wiped her nose with the back of her hand. “My mom always told me not to talk to strangers, but if I got lost I should ask another mommy for help, so I told the lady we lost each other and I was gonna meet you at the stop with the pretty clock and the building that looks like it’s in Germany, and she said I was on the wrong train.”

  I smiled. “That’s good advice your mom gave you. And that lady was very nice to help you.”

  “She told the driver I was lost, and he said the police were looking for me, and then Officer Cager came to the train and got me.”

  “Sounds like he was right and you were very brave.” I squeezed her arm. “Next time we’re in the city, though, we’re gonna hold hands and stay together, no matter what, okay?” If there is a next time.

  Liza nodded briskly.

  “I was really, really scared when I didn’t know where you were. You promise you won’t ever run off again?”

  Her little head didn’t stop bobbing. “I promise.”

  I gave her a hug, and she looked up at me with her big wet eyes. “I’m sorry I scared you.”

  I hugged her again. Was this what being a parent felt like? I couldn’t have been any more terrified if Liza was my own child. Somehow, I didn’t think Elena would agree that I could identify with a parent’s feelings.

  Officer Cager dropped us off at the house, and I quickly grabbed the items Mom had bought for me for the Worlds trip. My old books I wanted to find for Liza would have to wait. As much as I dreaded facing Elena, we needed to get home.

  My phone rang shortly into the ride, and I took a breath before answering Sergei’s call.

  “Hey, I’m sorry I hadn’t called you back yet,” I said. “I’m guessing you heard from Elena.”

  “Is Liza okay?” His voice resonated deep with concern.

  “Yeah, she’s fine. We’re on our way back now.”

  “What exactly happened? Elena didn’t go into much detail.”

  I recounted the harrowing incident from beginning to end, and Sergei said, “I wish I could thank the woman who helped her. You must’ve been going crazy when Liza was missing.”

  The memory of my crippling fear washed over me, and my skin grew cold. “It was a horrible feeling.”

  “I’m sorry you had to go through that,” Sergei said.

  I let out a tiny laugh. No way was Elena going to feel sorry for me. I didn’t want to say that out loud with Liza listening from the backseat.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t do something to prevent the situation,” I said.

  “Kids do careless things. I don’t have much experience being a father, but as a coach I’ve
been around enough kids to know we can’t stop every bad thing from happening.”

  “I know, but if I would’ve just held her hand…“

  “The important thing is Liza’s okay. That’s all that matters now.”

  He was so understanding. He reminded me a lot of my dad in that way, and it was one of the reasons I knew he’d be a great father.

  We talked for a few more minutes before I hung up and turned on one of the classical discs in my CD player. Soft piano concertos and string symphonies flowed into the car. Calming music was what I needed to prepare for Hurricane Elena.

  ****

  “Liza!” Elena cried hoarsely from my front stoop. She embraced her daughter before she could walk through the door.

  I moved past them into the foyer and set my things down on the stairs. Sergei took me into his arms, and I rested my weary head against his chest. I could’ve stayed there all day, but I let him go so he could welcome Liza inside. He gave her a long hug and made her promise not to have any more train adventures.

  “Liza, you rest in bedroom and I stay few minutes with Sergei and Emily,” Elena said. “Then we finish to pack for tomorrow.”

  Liza went into the guest bedroom, and Elena pulled the door shut. I trudged up the steps to the living room and sank into my favorite chair. It was old and soft and big enough for me to curl up and sleep in, which sounded so appealing after the morning I’d had. But I couldn’t relax with Elena stalking toward me.

  “Do you know how it feel when police call you and ask if you are Liza’s mother?” she shouted as loud as she could with her strained voice. “To have moment when you do not know if she is hurt or worse?”

  “Elena, stop.” Sergei stood next to her. “I told you this wasn’t Em’s fault.”

  “She let Liza run onto train. She should watch her close in place like that.”

  “I’m sorry,” I burst in. “I wish I would’ve done something diff–“

  “You are sorry.” Elena’s shouting lowered. “Sorry do no good if Liza hurt or lost forever.”