Fire Always Burns

by Lakes, Krista

  "Would she have gone after her dog? The fire is going to get here any minute," Ray shifted on his feet, his eyes scanning down the hill for any trace of flames.

  "She didn't know how close it was. She would have gone for her dog," Andrew glanced at him.

  "We look then," said Ray with a nod. "We won't leave here without her."

  "If Shadow got loose, then she probably went to the fort. We'll check there first," Andrew said.

  "We better hurry," Ray's voice filled with urgency. Andrew looked out and from the vantage point of the porch could see embers starting to float up from the trees in the valley.

  Andrew sprinted down the hill towards the old fort, Ray close behind him. He had to find her. He had to save her. He could never forgive himself if he lost her this way, without telling her he was sorry. Without telling her that he loved her.

  ▪▪▪

  It was easier to breath down low to the ground, but the smoke still made my lungs hurt. I pulled my shirt up over my nose, but I still had to concentrate on not coughing, breathing only through my nose. My eyes watered with the soot, and I could feel tears tracking down my face. Shadow kept with me, whining gently and pulling me towards the house. I just had to get to the garage.

  I was so tired. It didn't seem like crawling would be that much more effort, but the incline, the rocks, the slip of the pine needles and the pain in my ankle were taking a toll. I pulled myself to a tree and leaned my back against it. It hurt to breathe, but my lungs begged for oxygen.

  Shadow whined and pulled softly, her eyes looking past me. I followed her line of sight to the edge of our property. A faint glow was starting to creep into the trees. The fire was coming. I felt a surge of adrenaline push through me, my ankle and the pain forgotten. I had to get to the garage. My pink bicycle. If I could just get there everything would be fine.

  I started moving again, moving forward on sheer will. I could hear a crackling noise growing behind me. I didn't know if the heat was the fire or just my imagination, but I knew I was sweating. Shadow pulled me by her leash, the house in throwing distance. I didn't know I could be this tired; I didn't know I could hurt this much. The adrenaline was wearing off, but I still had a ways to go. My hand slipped on a pile of pine needles, causing me to nose dive into the ground. I tasted dirt and pine sap. The garage seemed so far away. I looked behind me and I could see orange beginning to dance in the trees.

  Flames danced like sprites across the branches, while orange and red imps frolicked on the dry grasses below. The smoke was black and heavy, waving into the sky like the hair of a demon. It was beautiful in a destructive way. I wondered if I was going to die of suffocation or burns.

  Shadow barked, a high pitched yelp that made me look back towards the house. The sky was almost blue compared to the demon crawling up the backside of the hill. She whined and pulled on the leash. All I had to do was make it to the garage. Shadow would never let me live it down if I didn't at least try. I forced my body to move up the hill again.

  I barely made it the length of my body up the hill before sliding back down the incline again. I didn't remember this hill ever being this steep. I started to cry, tears running down my face. I could hear a noise that reminded me of bonfires and camping, knowing the flames were coming closer.

  Shadow whined, tugging on the leash. I let her go. Maybe she could make it out. I wondered if Andrew would feed her for me. I just wanted to give up. Just to rest for a moment. A small voice started screaming in my head, screaming that I didn't have a moment. I had to get up and move. It coaxed and pleaded with me to keep going. The voice in my head finally resorted to wondering what people would think when they found my body; what Andrew would think.

  "Fine, I'll move. They will find my body clawing up this damn hillside," I growled and grabbed the earth, forcing myself up. There was no way I was going down without a fight. My hands were bleeding, covered in tiny scratches from broken pine branches and rocks. I couldn't feel my knees anymore, but I was sure they were nothing but hamburger by now. I knew I wasn't imagining the heat anymore, the sweat evaporating as fast as I could make it. I could barely breathe. My eyes were full of dirt and smoke, I could barely see and I didn't dare wipe my eyes. Shadow began barking, the noise seeming hazy and far away.

  "I am coming you damn dog! I am going as fast as I can! I am not as good on four legs as you are," I snarled, digging my fingers into the ground and pushing forward. I had to just make it to the garage.

  "Holly?" I thought I heard Andrew's voice. It couldn't be Andrew. Andrew was mad at me. I loved him though. Didn't people always say they heard the voices of people they loved when they were dying? A hallucination. I knew I had to be imagining his voice. I loved him and my brain was letting me hear him one last time.

  "Shadow, come here, girl! Where is she? Where is Holly?" That seemed a strange thing for my imagination to say. But, I was going to die, so who knew what my imagination might come up with. I reached for another handful of earth. Shadow kept barking.

  "Holly! Ray, I found her!" Andrew's voice seemed closer, but still far away. I held onto the ground, my fingers pulling at the grass to keep moving forward. I felt hands on my shoulders. I looked up and saw a shirtless Andrew picking me up. Now I knew I was hallucinating.

  "I got you Holly, I got you," Andrew whispered into my ear. "Can you walk?"

  I felt my lips make the motion but no sound came out, so I just shook my head. Andrew picked me up like I was a child, cradling me in his arms. He was so handsome in the firelight. I wished Shadow would stop barking, she was ruining the moment.

  ▪▪▪

  The smoke was getting thicker, and Andrew pulled off his shirt and held it up over his nose. The acrid fumes burned the inside of his nose. It was hard to see, the fire's smoke blocking out the sunshine and filling the air with ash. He started calling out her name, his voice frantic.

  Shadow barked. He spun on his heel, heading along the hill towards the frantic barking, calling out for Holly. Shadow ran up to him, nuzzling his hand and wagging her tail.

  "Shadow, come here, girl! Where is she?" Andrew asked picking up her trailing leash. As if he expected an answer, he asked again. "Where is Holly?" Shadow whined and pulled him down the hill.

  Holly lay on the ground, her hands dug into the steep hillside like she was fighting to stay upright. Pools of pine needles lay around her, her face covered in dirt and ash. "Holly!" he cried. He could see the fire in the trees, flames licking up and down the parched bark. He dropped his shirt and ran towards her yelling, "Ray, I found her!" as Shadow barked.

  Her lips were white against the ash on her face, her dark hair tangled and filled with needles and branches. He put his hands on her back, checking to see that she was breathing. He started whispering to her, as he brushed her off and pulled her to sitting. She stared blankly at him, like she couldn't believe he was there.

  "Can you walk?" He asked. She looked confused for a moment, her lips forming a no as she shook her head. The heat from the fire was making him sweat, he could hear it roaring in the distance like a hungry beast. He scooped her up, and she put her head on his shoulder as he started back up the hill. She seemed so light in his arms, like he could carry her forever. It only took a moment to make his way up the hill and around the house, calling out to Ray to start the truck.

  ▪▪▪

  I felt Andrew power up the hill, holding me close to his chest. He made the distance between where I was and the house in a matter of seconds where I had struggled for what seemed like hours. I wrapped my arms around his neck, breathing in his masculine scent. His bare skin didn't smell like smoke, but like running water and sunshine. He was so solid beneath me, his body pressed against mine. I wondered if he was going to the garage, because we would never fit on my bicycle together. A car horn sounded as Andrew rounded the corner of my house, Ray's truck in my driveway.

  "Ray, I got her and Shadow- I think she's going into shock," Andrew shouted.

  "Get in the back
and lay her down, we gotta get out of here now!" Ray yelled back. I heard a metal thunk as the back of the truck slammed down. Andrew set me down gently on the warm metal, and called Shadow's name. She jumped up next to me, her fur brushing my leg. Andrew slammed the truck gate up and jumped in the back.

  "Go! Go!" He yelled, pounding the side of the truck, gathering me back up in his arms. The engine revved and I peeked out over the side of the truck. My house stood illuminated against a sea of black and sparks. I never did make it to my bicycle.

  Chapter 16

  The flames died slow painful deaths as they starved for more. There was no more. The trees were gone, the grass was gone, the bushes were gone. It had nowhere left to go. The firefighters pressed on, determined to never let the flames rise again. They searched for any hint of flame. No glowing ember was left alive to burn. Shovels buried, water quenched, and eyes hunted. No quarter was given, no mercy to the flames. The fire must not be allowed to continue, too much was at stake to let it start again.

  Andrew brushed the hair out of my face, peering down at me. His blue eyes stood out against the soot on his cheeks. His hair was a mess with streaks of black from where his dirty hands had brushed through it. The truck engine roared as Ray sped down the road. Andrew smiled down at me and kissed my forehead.

  "You came for me," I whispered. It was easier to breathe now, but my throat still felt like I had swallowed lit charcoal.

  "Of course I came for you. I will always come for you," he said tucking my hair behind my ear. My head was spinning. This had to be a dream. I was either going to wake up safe in my bed, or still trapped on the mountain by fire.

  "But, you're mad at me. You wouldn't talk to me," I whispered. My fingers buried themselves into his skin; I was afraid if I let go of him, I would wake up. He felt solid underneath me and I didn't want to lose that.

  "I was mad. But when I thought I might lose you, I..," Andrew's breath caught and he held me tighter. He cleared his throat and said softly, "I couldn't bear to lose you."

  "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I should have told you everything from the beginning, but I loved the way you looked at me. Like I was perfect. You didn't look at me like I was broken," I said. The truck hit a bump in the road and I yelped. Andrew held me protectively, his face full of concern. I didn't know I could feel pain like that.

  "Holly, I love you. I have always loved you. I wish you could see what I see in you," he kissed my head gently. "You aren't broken. A little bruised, but not broken. Well, maybe your ankle, but not your spirit," he smiled at me. I tried to smile, but everything was starting to hurt. Just breathing hurt.

  "I thought I was going to die," I whimpered. He nodded and wrapped his arms tighter. I felt so safe in his arms. "All I wanted to do was tell you I love you."

  "You can tell me now," he whispered with tears in his eyes.

  "I love you, Andrew."

  "I love you, Holly." He kissed me. It felt like life was rushing through me, colors and emotions overwhelming everything. I lived in that kiss.

  ▪▪▪

  The truck slowed, and turned into the parking lot for the emergency clinic. The lot was fairly full and people were milling around the building. Ray came around and unlatched the gate, making sure Shadow was tied to the bed of the truck. She lay quietly in the corner on the driver's side, her dark eyes taking in everything. Andrew carefully handed me off to Ray; I felt like a small sick child in Ray's long arms as he carried me into the clinic.

  The clinic was a busy scene of organized chaos. The waiting area was full of patients waiting to be seen. Ray carried me up to the desk, the smell of smoke drifting behind us. The receptionist looked up, startled, her eyes going wide. She stammered and handed Ray the patient sign-in sheet before running to grab a nurse. I rested my head against Ray's shoulder, watching the other patients stare at the three of us. My ankle hung limply, and as long as I didn't move it I could ignore the pain.

  "Seriously Anna, what could be so important that...." Audrey's words trailed off as she turned the corner and saw us. Her face went pale, then red, then pale again. I just wished I could lay down and sleep. "Get them in a room now."

  A woman in blue scrubs rolled up a gurney, and Ray set me down gently. I hissed with pain when he carefully moved my foot up onto the gurney. Andrew held my hand as we rolled toward a room made from curtains.

  I caught my reflection in the glass of a picture frame and nearly jumped off the mattress. No wonder we had startled the receptionist. I had twigs and bark tangled in my hair, with soot and tears making a frightening mask on my face. Andrew and Ray didn't look much better, covered in ash and soot. Andrew was still shirtless, soot and my blood smeared across his chest. I almost wanted to giggle at how frightening we all looked.

  Once in the curtained room, Audrey came in and hooked me up to the monitors and put a plastic oxygen tube in my nose. She relaxed a little as she asked me questions and found my vitals were steady. Andrew and Ray listened and added to my story as I told her what happened. Audrey gasped and looked back and forth at the two of them as I told her how they saved me. My own personal heroes. Audrey looked like she was debating strangling them both for risking their lives or hugging them for saving me.

  The woman in blue scrubs returned with a plain white t-shirt for Andrew. Then, she shooed the males out of the room to let me change into a hospital gown. I felt better after laying down and not breathing toxic smoke, but still beaten and tired.

  She was gentle, but I still held my breath as she maneuvered my torn shorts over my ankle. It was so swollen and painful that I yelped despite her best efforts. I made her check the pocket for my mother's picture. She handed it to me and I held onto it like it was a winning lottery ticket.

  As soon as I was decent, Andrew was back holding my hand and distracting me from the pain. The blue-scrub lady brought me a warm washcloth and I wiped the grime off my face. It felt luxurious.

  Audrey came in and started an IV, pumping drugs and liquids into my system. She specifically refused to look at Ray, focusing only on me. The drugs hit my system and I felt loopy; the pain was still there, but I no longer cared. Pain didn't matter anymore.

  "Holly, we are going to take you down for an X-ray to look at your ankle in a few minutes. You doing okay for now?" Audrey said as she hung a bag of fluids above my head.

  "I'm better now. Audrey?" I felt the medicine making me bold. I couldn't stop the words from pouring out of my mouth, "Why are you fighting with Ray?"

  The room went quiet except for the constant beeping of the machine recording my vitals. It reminded me of crickets chirping after a joke. Everyone was staring at me.

  "Holly, that's not really important right now. You just rest," Audrey finally said, patting my good leg gently.

  "No. It is important. You two were happy and no one can give me a straight answer why you aren't together and happy." The words just poured out of me. Andrew squeezed my hand, and looked expectantly up at his mom.

  "She's right mom. Doped-up Holly has a point. Neither one of you has given me a reason that actually makes sense. You say it's his fault, he says it's yours. So I want to know why you aren't together," Andrew said firmly.

  Ray dropped his eyes to the floor. Audrey played with her pen, biting her lip.

  "Andrew, this is between Ray and I. This is not the time or the place to discuss our relationship," she said firmly, her voice taking a chastising tone.

  "No, this is exactly the time," I interjected stubbornly. "I saw fire today. Once you light a fire it has to burn and it doesn't care if this is the time or place. Fire either burns brightly or it fizzles into nothingness and smoke. Without the fire, there is no light. So, are you two burning or fizzling?" I demanded. I wanted an answer. Andrew looked at me and I shrugged. I might be confused from the drugs, but it had sounded poetic in my head.

  "I'll be here, marking time for as long as you need me to," Ray said softly into the quiet room. Audrey's hand suddenly went to her throat as her eyes fi
lled with tears.

  "Ray," Audrey whispered dropping to her knees in front of him. He looked up at her, his smile shy and timid. He looked so much like Tyler that I wondered if their shyness was genetic. There was a sweetness in his eyes that I couldn't look away from. Audrey looked at him for a long time, her eyes searching his face. She started to smile, her eyes going bright like she had just discovered the answer to a difficult puzzle. "I should have said yes a long time ago."

  She leaned forward and kissed him lightly. Ray's face lit up like the Fourth of July before he caught himself and looked at her seriously. "Really?"

  "Yes, really," Audrey nodded and giggled, grabbing his hands. Ray's smile was the happiest I had ever seen. He kissed Audrey with so much excitement and emotion it was hard to look at them without being blinded by the light of their joy. I looked over at Andrew confused. He smiled and whispered into my ear.

  "When Ray asked Audrey the first time to marry him during the band practice, she said no. That's when he said, 'Then I'll be here, marking time for as long as you need me to.'"

  "You mean they're getting married? That's why they were fighting?" I blurted out. Audrey and Ray looked at one another and started laughing, tears rolling down their faces. I looked perplexed at the two of them, waiting for an answer.

  "Yes, Holly, we're finally getting married," Audrey finally managed to get out. She kissed Ray's cheek and stood up smiling. "But, you young lady, are going for an X-ray."

  "Can I go with her?" Andrew asked, his soot smudged face smiling. Audrey nodded and moved the curtain aside, stepping out to let the blue-scrub lady in. Ray's eyes followed her like she was the light of his world, a smile permanently carved into his face.

  We left the two of them in my curtained room, holding hands and giggling. Andrew held my hand as the gurney glided silently down the hall.