Explosive Memories

by Sherri Thomas

  “Shut up.” Lying flat on his back with Nick sitting on him, Trent pushed to dislodge the bulky meat-head but failed. His stupid shoulder refused to exert the strength.

  “We all heard her outbursts.”

  Not able to free his hands and cover his ears, he shook his head, wanting to block out the words. God, he assumed they had witnessed the fights, but prayed he was wrong. The things that flew out of her mouth were embarrassing in themselves, some truths, some not. He wasn’t sure which bothered him more, the lies or the details she revealed, usually intimate ones spouted in jealousy—how he paid attention to that other woman when she spoke, the way he touched her when they caressed, the way he held her in the pond. April had seen it all and made sure all of Amarillo heard her when she screamed the accusations. If she hadn’t threatened to kill herself anytime he broke it off, begging him to understand how much she loved him until guilt ate at him and he gave in, he wouldn’t have turned a blind eye to the problem for so long. Having his girlfriend live on the ranch when her apartment complex burned to the ground was the second biggest mistake he’d made—the first being the proposal. Every one of his relatives witnessed her temper-tantrums at one point or another. The fact she’d approached each member claiming Trent “ignored her” bore no help.

  The recollection gave him enough fuel to struggle and manage to extract his hand out from under a leg and land one last punch to his brother’s eye.

  “Son of a…” Nick hit him in the jaw.

  Stunned by the contact, he shook away the stars dancing in his head. “You jackass.” He thrashed his body from one side to the other, but got nowhere.

  Using all of his weight to hold him, his captor chuckled. “God, it’s good to see you alive again, but are we done now? I’m getting to old for this shit.”

  Was he? Yes. Damn it. After all, he wasn’t mad at the ox sitting on his chest. He was angry at himself for missing the signs with April, and for letting Lynn—Jordan—walk out of his life that morning.

  “Yeah.” He relaxed his body to prove his words. “Yeah, I’m good.”

  His opponent got up and extended a hand.

  Accepting the assistance, Trent rose to his feet and rubbed his jaw as an uneasy feeling settled in his gut. That last night, when he came home after picking up a bull from Lubbock, April accused him of going to see a Jordan. Before he got a chance to ask who Jordan was, his fiancée drew a gun and shot him, twice. The next thing he remembered was waking up in the hospital groggy from surgery. He hadn’t even known a Jordan, until now…was there a connection?

  “It’ll do you no good trying to figure April out,” Nick stated, fingering the skin around his eye.

  “I gave that up a long time ago.” Wondering if his black-haired beauty was awake, he glanced at the first cabin. One small light shown in the window, but he couldn’t make out any movement.

  A hand touched his shoulder. “Put some ice on that.” His brother nodded toward his face.

  “You, too.”

  Trent shook his head and ambled off toward his own bungalow for what he figured would be a restless night’s sleep. The past floated around his head, starting with a raven-haired beauty dancing in the moonlight.

  ****

  Jordan tossed and turned until she fell into a fretful slumber. Memories circled in and out of her dreams…Trent’s lips on her neck, sliding down her body, biting her nipples, licking the beaded pebbles. His heart beating fast under her palm as she ran her hand up and over his chest, the thin, course hair ticking her skin.

  Her mother’s face came into view. “Don’t go out again. You just got home.”

  “Jordan Lynn!” her father bellowed out the living room window. “You better be home by midnight, young lady.”

  Then heat, scorching heat on her skin. Smoke choking her very breath.

  Jordan shot up, coughing, and with a shaking hand, reached for the water next to her bed on the nightstand. The clock blinked bright in the darkened room. Four a.m.

  Stretching out on the mattress, she concentrated on her breathing. In through her nose, out through her mouth. Her pulse beat loud in her ears. If she lay here long enough, maybe the anxiety in her chest would go away.

  At five, she gave up and yanked on a pair of tan dress shorts with a thin fuchsia shirt. Keep busy. That was the next step. By seven, she paced the cabin. At eight, the walls closed in, and she slipped into a pair of brown flip flops and wandered outside.

  The sounds of the ranch broke the silence screaming in her head. A cow mooed, answered by two more. The horses whinnied to each other, and the sheep rounded off the morning chatter. The golden dog ran, barking as it chased after one of the cowboys on horseback.

  While the atmosphere was great for relaxing, if her days contained nothing but sitting around and watching the others work, she’d go mad. A person could relax for only so long. Maybe she should accept Darcy’s job offer, but was that the wisest choice? Yes, the ranch was beautiful, and it would mean a paycheck…but it would also involve being in constant contact with Trent.

  She walked over to the tree line and found an inviting path leading into the woods. Should she venture inside the unfamiliar forest? Certainly a walk would be better than the alternative of sitting here doing nothing. And if she did accept Darcy and Nick’s offer, she’d have to familiarize herself with the layout of the land, so why not get a head start.

  Not wanting to get lost, she kept to the trail, careful not to trip on any branches. Her shoe apparel provided little protection against the hazards of the root and twig carpet. As she roamed deeper into the forest, a calming silence wrapped her in a cocoon, and she wondered aimlessly down the aisle, glancing around for any wildlife. Exercise was definitely what she’d needed. Her heart felt light. No heaviness rested on her chest or shoulders. Serenity surrounded her, giving her a clear head to consider her options.

  While taking the job would help her financial situation and boredom, dealing with Trent on a daily basis might be more than she could handle. And she refused to be naïve in thinking she’d be able to avoid him. The fact he lived here forced contact by its own violation, but was she capable of keeping the encounters to a minimum? Could she keep him at arm’s length and…?

  Ha. Who am I kidding? One touch of those sinful lips and she’d melt.

  Heat from the sun beamed in through an opening of the trees, and she edged closer to a drop off. Birds chirped, flying high over a ravine. At the bottom, a creek ran the middle of the crevasse and opened into an oval pond. On the other side sat a rundown shack.

  Gravity shifted under her feet, and Jordan grabbed the sapling next to her, hoping the tree spanned big enough to lend support. Was that the place she spent the night in Trent’s arms?

  No wonder she never found the hut. How had he driven to the site? Was there a road? A trail? She squinted in the bright light. A mosquito landed on her neck, another on her arm. Smacking at the blood suckers, she backed away.

  Maybe Darcy knew a better way—she swatted another bug from her cheek—and knew where to get a bottle of insect repellant. Retracing her steps, she made her way back to the ranch.

  “Hey, where’d you run off to?” Chris asked as he came from Nick’s cabin.

  “Just took a long walk.” She bit her tongue to keep from asking him about the shack. What if the family didn’t want anyone snooping around? Or worse, what if he insisted on going with her? She needed to do this alone. “Have you seen Darcy?”

  He nodded. “She’s working on the guest cabins. Come on, I’m headed that way.”

  “You sure it’s okay to interrupt?” she asked, falling into step beside him.

  “You kidding? We’re pretty laid back around here, especially when there’s not many guests, and knowing Darc, she’d love the break.”

  Glancing his way, she smiled. Chris made her feel comfortable. He had a relaxed way about him. He stood tall with a grin on his lips even when he wasn’t looking in her direction.

  “I hear you and Trent
are old friends.”

  “A long time ago.”

  “He hasn’t changed much.” The youngest Matthews shrugged. “I mean, he’s more guarded nowadays, but he’s always kept to himself.”

  “Guarded how?” She tripped over a twig, and the cowboy grasped her elbow. “Thank you.”

  “Because of April. She did a real job on him. On all of us I guess.” A dark shadow fell over his features.

  Since he seemed to think she knew who this woman was and what she did to the Matthews family, Jordan refrained from asking questions. She’d save those for Darcy.

  Looking ahead, she noted two men and a small boy hunkered down over an inanimate object in the corral. From the distance, she couldn’t be sure, but it resembled the shape of a bull.

  “How’s it going?” Chris hollered to the trio.

  “They’ll be ready for the real deal in no time,” Sam announced. “This kids a natural.”

  “I’ll watch for his name in the next rodeo.” Her tour guide waved and bent his head toward her. “That’s Mr. Parker and his son. Sam’s showing them how to rope. We use a fake bull so no one gets hurt. And that,” he added as he nodded to the rounded woman and another boy standing nearby, “is his eight-months pregnant wife. She scheduled this trip last year, before she discovered her condition.” He chuckled. “When she found out about the baby, she refused to cancel. Guess this vacation was a present for her husband. He always wanted to be a cowboy.” He shrugged. “Anyway, here we are. Darcy’s in one of them.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Any time.” He hurried off in another direction.

  “Hey, what are you doing out here?”

  She pivoted as her friend exited the cabin with a bucket full of cleaning supplies. Her frayed jean shorts and gray top sported a couple of bleach stains, but a big smile lined her lips.

  Someday she wished to emit as much happiness as her best friend. To feel a sense of rightness.

  “Going crazy, but Chris was nice enough to show me where you were.”

  “Let me leave these in the other cabin for later, and we can head up to the main house for a coffee or cold drink.”

  “Coffee sounds excellent.”

  Darcy set the container inside the next bungalow and joined her with a scowl. The expression even looked out of place on her face.

  “What’s with the frown?”

  “Where are the clothes you bought? Don’t get me wrong, I love your outfits, and you always turn everyone’s head, but I’d hate to see them get ruined.” She groaned. “Now I sound like your mother, ‘listen here young lady…’” She laughed.

  “Ha. You’re too funny. Don’t worry, mother dear, I’ll be careful.” Not wanting to explore the sudden emptiness in the bottom of her stomach, she changed the subject. “You want help cleaning?”

  “A couple of hours ago I would’ve taken you up on your offer, but now, no. I’m almost done.”

  Climbing the stairs to the main house, Jordan held the door for her to enter. “I ah…went for a walk earlier.”

  “Good. I’m glad you’re getting around and checking the place out.” Her hostess crossed the kitchen to the coffee pot.

  “The exercise felt wonderful. I came across a ravine with some sort of shed at the bottom. Do you know what it’s used for?”

  “The guys used to hang out there to get away from their parents and entertain their dates from what I understand.” She quirked a lip. “Nick shared a few stories with me that I’d rather not repeat.”

  “Is there an access path or a trail leading to the base of the water?”

  Darcy nodded. “If you walk a few minutes more on the path, there’s an opening that winds down the hill.” Standing on tiptoe, she grabbed two cups from the cupboard. “Nick took me once. The place is nothing but cobwebs.” She poured the java into both mugs and handed one over. “We didn’t stick around long. He said the structure wasn’t sound. It’s kind of creepy.” Her brown gaze searched Jordan’s with open curiosity. “You thinking of checking out the place?”

  “Maybe.”

  “If you do, have one of the guys take you, okay?”

  “I’ll think about it,” she replied, having no intention of asking anyone to accompany her.

  Her friend studied her for a minute. “Jordie, what’s going on? I get the feeling there’s a lot I don’t know. Especially about you and Trent. I mean, I don’t want to pry, but I thought we were close, then I find out you two know each other, and your name was Lynn?”

  Not sure how much she wanted to share at this point, she exhaled. “My middle name is Lynn, and truthfully, there’s not much to tell. Trent and I spent the night at the shack when I met him six years ago. The next morning, we parted ways and never saw each other again.” Knowing how it sounded, shame filled her chest as she glanced out the window to the empty drive.

  “Six years ago? But you had to of been what…eighteen?”

  Shrugging her shoulders, she didn’t comment. Meeting a cowboy, giving him an alias, then sleeping with him, she’d lived up to every name the kids at school gave her.

  A warm hand lightly touched her arm. “Let’s sit out on the porch. It’s a bit stuffy in here.”

  Following her out the door, Jordan sat on a chair by the railing. “You have to believe me, Darcy. I had no idea he was Nick’s brother or I would’ve said something. I never knew his last name.”

  “I believe you, hon. And really, it’s none of my business. I just care about you and don’t like the stress I see all of this causing you.”

  Feeling as though she owed her friend, she went on. “When I first met Trent, I wasn’t too sure of him, so I gave him my middle name. After we talked for a few hours and got to know each other, I never bothered to correct him. Seemed safer to keep it that way. He couldn’t track me or tell my parents.” Jordan shrugged, trying like hell to keep her voice strong and steady. The last thing she needed was for Darcy to suspect how deeply that night affected her.

  A movement in the distance caught her attention as a horse and rider approached. A tingling traveled under her skin, and her heart beat tripled as the cowboy neared.

  “You don’t have to say anymore. I can tell you’re uncomfortable, and the last thing I want is to cause you any distress over the situation.”

  With her back to the barns, the soon-to-be bride failed to see Trent.

  “Hey, I know, why don’t you grab a pair of jeans and go for a ride? Might help clear your head.”

  Her stomach fluttered with unwanted excitement. Another step toward the teenage years. She toyed with the idea of refusing while a part of her yearned to accept the offer.

  “You can take my horse, TJ.”

  Oh, God, she really, really wanted to.

  “Come on. Why do you beat yourself up over these decisions?” Darcy smiled as she inclined her head in a confused jester.

  Too many situations propelled her closer to the past. The odds of slipping into her old ways stacked up. Still… “You’re going with me, right?”

  The cowboy reined his horse in at the base of the steps, and Jordan found she was hard pressed to tear her gaze away.

  “I wish, but we have a big group coming in tomorrow, and I need to finish the chores. You can do a couple loops in the corral to get comfortable since it’s been a while, and I’m sure one of the guys would show you around. That reminds me, it’s Nick and my turn to take the guests on a two night camping trip. You wanna come along? It’ll be fun.”

  “No. I’ll be okay.”

  Listening with half an ear, she admired the way Trent swung his languid body out of the saddle. He tied the reins at the base of the railing and winked in her direction. She quickly pulled her gaze from the male who busted her staring.

  “Are you sure? I feel bad leaving you—again. Never mind. I’m sure I can get one of the boys to take my place.” Darcy sipped from her mug.

  “I didn’t come here to uproot your routine. I’ll spend time at the hospital, getting reacquainted with th
e staff and making nice with the higher ups.” So much for asking about April; she’d have to save those questions for another time.

  The clunk of boots on the steps drew their attention.

  “Hey, Darc.” Trent tapped the brim of his Stetson. “Jordan.”

  Was it just her, or did his voice sound deeper, smoother, more throaty when he said her name? She met his hot stare. “Hello.”

  “Any left?” He nodded toward the coffee.

  “You know Ms. Liz keeps it brewing.” Darcy rose. “Let me get you a cup.”

  “I’ll get it. Didn’t mean to interrupt.” Opening the screen, the hunky cowboy disappeared inside.

  Looking straight ahead at nothing in particular, listening to the sounds coming from the kitchen, Jordan crossed one leg over the other and clasped her hands together around the cup. If you act calm, you’ll be calm, she told herself. She glanced up, found a sad smile on her friend’s face, and stood. “I took up enough of your time today. Besides, if I’m going to take you up on that ride, I should go change.”

  The door banged on the hinges.

  “How’s the shoulder?” Darcy asked, clearing her throat.

  “Healing.”

  “Nice shiner you gave my fiancé by the way. Thanks.” She scowled.

  Trent rubbed his jaw line. “He had it coming.”

  Jordan sat back down as she noted a puffed up bruise on his chin. She caressed his face with her gaze, traveling over every inch, wondering what happened between the brothers. A gleam in his chocolate depths captivated her as a lazy grin lifted the side of his sexy mouth. She bit her bottom lip.

  “You both need to grow up,” his future sister-in-law huffed, folding her arms over her chest.

  “What’s the fun in that?” Trent chuckled. “Anyway, he sent me to grab those papers on the horses you discussed with Mom and Pop.”

  “I think they’re in the office.” She raised a brow in Jordan’s direction. “Nick and Sam want to dedicate a couple of weekends throughout the year to holding special camp-outs for different organizations and groups, like Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts, even for handicapped kids. These horses are supposed to be as sound as they get.”