Solbidyum Wars 3: Pirates of Goo'waddle Canals

by Dale Musser

  The hangar Cantolla referred to was hidden on the underside of my space yacht, the NEW ORLEANS. It was there that my Mirage Fighter, the ALI, was stored for use as an escape ship in the event of an emergency. Only a few of my ship’s crew and a few members of the admiralty Board knew of its existence.

  “I think your approach to this is sound. See to it.”

  Just as I was completing this comment, I noted one of the house staff, along with Piebar, approaching with a cart of food. Our first dish was comprised of cold chopped fresh vegetables; this dish reminded me of chopped tomatoes, cucumber, and onions from Earth, tossed in a lemon juice dressing. Of course, that was not what it was, as tomatoes, cucumbers, and onions didn’t exist in the Federation planets, but the flavors were similar. The dish had a way of enhancing one’s appetite without being filling. Finally, our main dishes were set before us; and I was surprised to see large cuts of meat that looked like steaks. I had not had a steak since I had left Earth over a year earlier.

  “Is this meat?” I asked in amazement. It was not that meat was uncommon in dishes, but large cuts of meat like a steak were seldom seen, and most dishes tended to be synthetic foods that, while flavorful, lacked the textures of natural foods.

  “Indeed it is, sir,” Piebar said. “First Citizen Kalana suggested you might enjoy having some Fubalo steaks. They come from right here on your estate, I might add.”

  I was surprised, as I had forgotten that the southern part of my estate was a vast, grass-covered meadow where large animals grazed. Apparently, this was meat from one of these creatures. In addition to the Fubalo steak, there was an item that resembled a baked potato from the outside, but when I cut into it, I found it to be more like a giant mushroom, with a dark and earthy flavor. Another item served in a smaller side bowl looked like cooked spinach, but had a completely different taste that I cannot relate to any Earthly thing I had ever eaten. Everything was delicious. The meat itself was comparable to the best and most tender steak cut I had ever eaten back on Earth.

  “I thought you might enjoy this, Tib,” Kala said. “You have often commented on dishes you miss from Earth, and I cannot begin to tell you how many times you have brought up missing steaks. I’ve been planning to surprise you with this meal for some time, and I felt tonight would be as good an occasion as any.”

  To say I nearly had tears in my eyes over the joy of eating a steak again would be a slight exaggeration, but I was very close. “Thanks, Kala, this is…well, wonderful—incredible, in fact. This Fubalo tastes just like the steaks I remember from home.”

  Both Kala and I glanced at Cantolla, who seemed to have gotten carried away eating. It was quite obvious that she was enjoying the meal. All of a sudden, she realized we both were looking at her, and she raised her eyes and sort of froze in our gaze with her mouth full of food and a bit of the juice from her steak running out the side of her mouth.

  “Oh, my,” she said, after gulping down a large bite of food, “I do apologize. I don’t think I have ever eaten anything this delicious in my life. Is this what your food is like on Earth, Tibby?”

  “Much of it is,” I said. “Our foods tend to be natural and organic in nature, and we have few synthetic foods. Those that we do have are made from organic compounds. We also have a dish made from the flesh of a domestically raised bird on Earth that we call a ‘chicken.’ It is very popular, and I suspect you would like that as well.”

  “You will have to tell me more about that, Tib, and I’ll see if I can’t surprise you with something similar,” Kala said.

  “Kala, you are a dear. This is about the best surprise you could give me.” I kissed her on the cheek.

  I had just finished my last sip of afex when Piebar set another cold glass in front of me. Kala nudged me and motioned with her eyes to Cantolla, who was just finishing her last bite of food. I was half expecting her to ask if she could have another plate of food prepared, but she sat back, licking her lips in an other-than-dainty fashion. “Wow, that was incredible. I don’t think I’ve ever eaten anything so good.”

  “Well, I hope you enjoy your desert, as well. It, too, is something that I hope is similar to a dish Tib has described from his Earth,” Kala said.

  I raised an eyebrow in a questioning look at Kala just as Piebar set a small bowl in front of me that seemed to be covered with large froth of whipped cream. I took a small bite and was delighted that it tasted like whipped cream. Beneath that was a reddish fruit in syrup that was much like a cross between a peach and a mango—both fruits from Earth.

  “Kala, if I were not already madly in love with you, I think I would be now.” I leaned over to kiss her again.

  “Yes, and if it weren’t for you being madly in love with Kala, I certainly would be,” Cantolla said with a grin. Both Kala and I broke out laughing when we looked over, as she had a mustache of whipped cream on her lip. I was surprised by Cantolla this particular evening — she had always come across as being in control and prim and proper. Both Kala and I had dined with her many times on the ship and at formal functions, but we had never seen her so careless in her dining manners. It was as though the experience of the new foods had so impressed her so much as to override her normal self-control. It was funny, and both Kala and I had to grin. Cantolla noticed and suddenly realized she had dropped her guard again and that there was whipped cream on her lip.

  “Oh! I am so sorry; I completely lost my manners and decorum. I am so sorry.”

  I laughed. “Cantolla, it’s alright. It totally delights me to see you enjoying this food so much.”

  “No, it’s not alright. Perhaps I need to explain. I told you and Kala when I first started working for you that my parents were both scientists. Mother was a biologist and worked with plants and, as she was a botanist, meat was a rarity in our home. We only had it when Dad got cravings for it and complained. Even when we did, it was very small portions, usually mixed into some mass of vegetables. I still eat that way most of the time. Likewise, we seldom had sweet fruits; Mother tended to stay away from those in her research, sticking mostly to green leafy vegetables. There was little in the way of manners when we ate and most of the time we didn’t even sit down as a family. Dad always had his head stuck in some research project, and if we didn’t take a plate to his study or lab, he would forget to eat. Mother would set food out for my brother and I, and we ate whenever we happened to see the food.

  “When I went off to the university, I was the laughing stock of the campus for the way I ate. Unlike at home, where everything was fresh, at the university everything was synthetic. But my eating habits were really bad. If it had not been for my first girlfriend in college making an effort to teach me some refinements, I might be sitting cross-legged on this table, gnawing on a bone and growling like some carnivorous beast. Most of the time, I remember and act civilized, but when I get into a really good meal, I sometimes forget and start eating like I’ve been starved and it’s the first food I’ve had in weeks. I really do apologize.”

  “My situation, while different from yours, in some regards is similar,” Kala began. “We lived in a relative rural area and most of our food was grown in our garden or greenhouse, so we didn’t get a lot of meat, either. But in our house everyone was expected to sit down at the table together and eat; Mother was very strict about our manners and eating habits.”

  “What are eating customs like on your planet?” Cantolla asked me.

  “They differ all over the planet,” I said. “Where I came from, eating habits are very similar to those here, but on some parts of the planet, they are almost the opposite. In one country, it is considered extremely rude to belch at the table or after the meal. In other parts, it’s considered rude if you do not, and it’s an insult to the cook. One country may see it as crude and vulgar to eat with one’s hands, and in other countries, that is the preferred method. The same thing applies to smacking one’s lips or slurping food — it depends on where you are.”

  “How strange,” Cantolla
said, “that you should have all these different customs on one planet. There are differences from one planet to another here in the Federation and in some restaurants that specialize in foods from a particular planet, but as far as having different customs on one planet, it’s rare.”

  “Well,” said Kala, “most of the planets in the Federation are ones that have developed technologically and have integrated with other cultures by way of mass interplanetary transportation. These civilizations had also formed one world government before joining the Federation. Tibby’s world was just getting to that point; and from what he’s told me, it is far from having a unified government for the entire planet.”

  “Really? How many different governments do you have on your world, Tibby?”

  “To be honest, I’m not sure—the number seemed to change every few months, as governments rose and fell with revolutions and conquests. When I left Earth, there were close to two hundred that I am aware of.”

  “Two hundred! On a single world? Did they all have differing languages as well?”

  “I read someplace that there were over a thousand languages in use on our planet, but there were only about twelve major languages used globally.”

  “Incredible — all that on a single planet, and you didn’t have learning headbands to teach the languages to others. It must have been difficult trying to communicate to resolve issues.”

  “We had professional translators that served for government and business negotiations,” I said.

  “But isn’t that dangerous? How do you know you can trust your translator? What if they were trying to sabotage your negotiations or misinterpreted something? You could have even had a war on your hands.”

  “I’m sure it’s happened,” I said, “but usually both parties in a negotiation had their own translators, so if one translated something incorrectly, the other would notice and correct the error.”

  “All I can say, Tibby, is that I am glad I didn’t live on your world, even if you had food like this to eat every day.” We all laughed and then sat back to watch a truly amazing sunset.

  The next morning, I dressed in my honorary Vice Admiral’s outfit at Kala’s insistence. “You will be expected to wear your uniform anytime you are meeting with the Federation military, simply as a courtesy.” I hated wearing the uniform and, even more, the implication that I was connected to the Federation military in any capacity. However, because of my past roles in the implementation of numerous plans and actions against the Brotherhood and the enemies of the Federation, I was connected, in a sense.

  Kala and I met Lieutenant Marranalis at the hangar, where a contingency of our security forces waited to escort us to the admiralty. Several attempts had been made on our lives since my arrival in the Federation and, because of our high profile, it was deemed best that we never leave the estate or the NEW ORLEANS without a security escort. Marranalis had the ALI flown to the estate sometime during the night to personally pilot Kala and me Admiral Regeny’s headquarters at the capital, escorted by two of our private security patrol ships. While en route, we were joined by eight other Federation Mirage Fighters from the planet. When we landed at the military spaceport, we were greeted by an aide to the admiral, as well as several dozen troopers who accompanied the admiral—all of whom gave smart salutes, much to my chagrin.

  “You do realize, Tibby, that you have more security assigned to you by the Federation than the leaders do. You’re still considered to be the most powerful person in the Federation,” said Marranalis, as we disembarked. We were then immediately ushered into a ground transport, in which we completed the rest of the trip to Admiralty Headquarters.

  The capital building on Megelleon was huge; there is nothing on Earth that compared to this immense structure that covered several square kilometers. Unlike the capital complex of the United States of America in Washington, DC, where different agencies occupied separate buildings, the Federation capital housed all agencies and government offices within one giant building complex, the towers of which soared into the sky, taller than the tallest building on Earth. Even more amazing, the structure reached deeply underground, where most of the high-ranking military offices were protected within secure-access tactical and command centers. Even with this security, the rebel group known as the Brotherhood of Light had managed to successfully breach Admiralty Headquarters in an attempted raid shortly after we delivered the solbidyum to the capital. A large portion of the admiralty complex was destroyed, but the admiral and his staff were spared, as they had temporarily and secretly moved their headquarters to my yacht, the NEW ORLEANS, as an added security measure at my invitation.

  Since that time, the facilities had been rebuilt and the rebel forces purged from the military ranks in the area of the capital, and new and more efficient security put into place. After driving through a series of wide tunnels within the complex, we eventually arrived at a terminal area surrounded with armed troopers who also saluted as we disembarked. We walked a short distance to board train-like cars that moved us farther and deeper into the complex. We were required to change cars several times, and our direction of travel changed, too, as part of the security tactics that keep secure and secret our precise location.

  Finally we arrived at a small station that appeared (on the exterior) to be a maintenance garage. There we disembarked with four of my personal security team and were met by four troopers who served as our final escort to the meeting room where Admiral Regeny and Commander Wabussie awaited. Only Marranalis and one of two of the Federation troopers were permitted to enter the meeting room with us. The rest took up stations outside, while Marranalis and the Federation trooper took up stations just inside the door.

  “Greetings, Vice Admiral Tibby and Lieutenant Commander Kalana. It’s so good to see you both again,” the admiral said. The title of Vice Admiral was only an honorary one, bestowed on me by the Federation military because of my earlier roles in the battle to recover the DUSTEN and defeat the rebels.

  “Greetings, Admiral Regeny and Commander Wabussie. It’s good to see you both again, also,” I replied. By Federation military custom, it was not necessary for me to acknowledge Commander Wabussie, as one only needed to acknowledge the senior-most officer present. But I considered Wabussie a close personal friend; and while I was to be extended all respect and honors reserved for a Vice Admiral, I was not expected to follow all their protocols.

  “It’s good to see the two of you looking so relaxed and healthy,” the admiral said. “The last time we were together, Kala was still recovering from the ruguain poison and you had been traipsing about in the jungle, fighting the Brotherhood. At that time you looked you were pretty stressed, physically and mentally. But now the two of you look to be in the best shape ever.”

  “Well, just understand that we are not doing anymore martial arts demonstrations for you, or anyone,” I said with a grin.

  “No, no, Tibby, I promise you, that is not going to happen ever again. I learned my lesson last time – and I still have nightmares about it. You have my solemn promise; I will not put you in that position again.”

  “I’m glad to hear that, but I’m sure you didn’t ask me down here to offer another apology.”

  “Actually, it’s Wabussie that requested this meeting, and I’m as much in the dark about it as you are. Commander, would you care to enlighten us?”

  “Please, everyone, have a seat,” Wabussie directed. We seated ourselves about a small circular table in the middle of the room. “First let me say that I elected to come here because, in the eyes of the Federation, I am still an active member of the staff of the admiral, so my coming and going here is not suspicious. Because of the role that both of you, Tibby and Kala, have played in recent events, your coming and going here is also not considered suspicious. Therefore, I felt this would be the best place for us to convene for an update on investigations and information uncovered by the FSO.”

  The FSO, or Federal Security Organization, is a top secret body set up to spy
both within and outside of the Federation for issues that might have negative or harmful impacts on the Federation. Prior to the formation of the FSO, such matters were under the jurisdiction of the FOI, or Federation Office of Intelligence; however, the FOI became compromised by an infiltration of Brotherhood operatives and could no longer be trusted. One of the tasks of the FSO was to infiltrate the FOI and the Federation senate to identify any Brotherhood members who were still actively engaged with the Brotherhood activities. But the FSO reach extended far beyond just organizations in the Federation; it was in the process of placing agents about the galaxy, hoping to spot trouble and take preemptive measures before the problems became real.

  “Using codes and information gratefully provided to us by Captain Felenna of your security detail at Alle Bamma, Tibby, and by applying code-breaking techniques provided to us by A’Lappe, we have been able to monitor much of the Brotherhood communications. Word of their defeat at the DUSTEN event, the destruction of their underwater base here on Megelleon, the decimation of their fleet at Plosaxen — when they fell into the trap to steal a staged solbidyum shipment—and the destruction of their drug labs and ships at Alle Bamma, has been spreading rapidly through their ranks. Of special note to them is that the Federation now has cloaking technology, as well as Mirage Fighters, which deliver 50% more speed than anything they possess or have heard of before. They are also aware that the Federation now has achieved Reverse Magnetic Force Field capability that is fully operational. While they do not know that RMFF installations are limited only to starships, they do know we have them and recognize this as real issue for any confrontations they may have with the Federation in the future. At the moment, their communications indicate that they are focusing their God’s Sweat drug sales to non-aligned planets where the Federation does not have jurisdiction, but they are still maintaining drug sales in Federation territory where they feel they have a chance of escaping apprehension. They have also set up new production facilities to grow the plant from which God’s Sweat can be obtained. Again, these facilities are located on non-aligned planets and some asteroids and moons about the galaxy. Most of these facilities are not producing at the moment, as it takes close to a year for the plants to reach the level of maturity needed for harvesting. But back to the ships…