Mended-Hearts

by Gordon, M. E.

  “It’s not like that,” he said. He was stern but calm. “There are things that we both need to keep locked away. Spencer’s my best friend. I’d do anything he asks, and he’d do the same for me. We have each other’s back. His secret is also my secret. Drop this crusade because you’re only going to get hurt in the end. I know that for a fact.”

  “What about Camilla?”

  “What about her? She’s his little sister.”

  “Yeah.” I nodded. “Just his little sister that you’re in love with.” I took him off guard. His face gave him away.

  He stumbled with what to say next. “No, that’s not what’s going on--She and I aren’t in love--We can’t--”

  “Why are you letting him decide what is best for you too?”

  “God, you don’t quit, do you? I see what he likes in you so much--Like Spencer, I know I can’t have everything I want. I won’t cross that line again with him. He’s right in letting you go. It’s easier this way.”

  “Easier for whom? Him? I bet it is easy to walk away when you have people following the one person you care about to make sure they’re okay. This whole I’m-with-you-but-not-with-you is for the birds!”

  “I don’t know what else to tell you, Elizabeth. Best to part ways and--” He sighed as if he knew exactly what I was going through.

  Maybe he did. Maybe he and Camilla were in love, and he had to push down those feelings because of his past. Or maybe he was just scared of losing, not only his best friend, but someone he loved.

  “Stick with Nick. He’ll keep you safe, and I’m sure he can make you happy.”

  I shook my head. It was disgusting that this secret past of theirs had destroyed more than just me and Spencer.

  “Just tell me what happened. What is making both of you act like it’s life or death whether you love a girl and let her in.”

  “I can’t tell you. But know that Spencer did what he had to do to survive. I have to go.” He shoved past me, leaving me standing there in the vacant hallway.

  “Fuck!” I yelled at the top of my lungs.

  Chapter 29

  Nickolas

  I thought about going after her. It had been over an hour since she left, and I was still sitting on the couch staring at the walls. I had an overload of information. I’d never told Elizabeth that Spencer might have killed someone. I tried to forget about it. I tried to pretend like that conversation I had with Natasha was a dream. I left out the part in my story when I blurted out to Spencer that I thought he had killed someone.

  Every time I went back to that night I couldn’t get the shaken look on Spencer’s face out of my mind. I’d never seen a man look so scared. The more I worked with Elizabeth on this “case,” the more I was getting a really bad feeling about it. She wasn’t giving up, though. I could see it in her eyes. She was determined to figure it out and, so far, nothing had deterred her.

  The ringing of my phone cut through the silence in the room like a knife through soft butter. An unknown number appeared on the screen, and I knew even before I answered it, that it was Natasha.

  “Why are you calling me?” I said into the receiver.

  “Nicky my love, you use to be so much happier when I called you.”

  “I use to be a lot of things, Natasha. Now, what do want?”

  “I wanted to give you a heads up. I just got my hands on the one thing that can put everything into place.” Her cackling laugh on the other end was starting to give me a headache.

  “What did you do now? I think you’re bluffing. I don’t think you have anything unless you have Spencer tied up, spilling his guts. He’s not a bad man. You’re just--”

  “That man is a monster,” she roared. “I’m not bluffing.”

  “Then pray-tell what did he do?”

  “All in good time, Nicky.”

  “You don’t have shit. If you did, you’d have already blown up social media.” I didn’t believe her, but this was Natasha. So I pulled my laptop out of my bag and checked Fame’s website just to make sure. I wasn’t surprised when it came on that there was a picture of Elizabeth front and center. She was sitting on a bench in what looked like one of the many hallways in the hotel. The caption read:

  Mistake of a life time. Elizabeth Monroe in deep depression over break-up. Angry and bitter Elizabeth on the verge of mental break down.

  “What the hell is all this shit on Fame about?” I asked.

  “That’s what I was calling to warn you about, Nicky boy. I have to use her for one more ploy, and then I promise you can have her back.”

  “This is a lie. No one’s going to believe this.”

  “I don’t need everyone to believe it, just one person. Oh wait, did I tell you I have a really good sound bite of her saying so? Why don’t you scroll down a bit and click on it for me.” I did as she asked because I didn’t think that it was real.

  “I’m not okay. I’m miserable. I’m hurt.”

  It was her voice, but it was choppy. The bite had been tampered with. Parts were taken out and rearranged. The average person wouldn’t have noticed but because I’d made a few in my life, I knew what to listen for. The fluency was off. Her breathing was choppy and not natural. Natasha had strung it together perfectly to make it sound like Elizabeth was giving up and spiraling down into a deep depression, which was far from the truth that I knew.

  “What are you trying to do with this? If you’re trying to get the public to betray her, this isn’t going to work. You’re just making her look better. You’re making her look real, and we both know the public loves real.”

  “That’s not what I’m trying to do at all. Like I said before, I don’t care what everyone thinks. All I need is for one person, one man, one despicable, horrible, ruthless man to believe it. It’s the last piece to a very complicated puzzle I plan on finishing very soon.” Click.

  I stared at my phone after being left on the edge of my seat again. The time frame to figure things out just jumped by a million percent. We needed to leave and get back to New York. Everything started in New York and now that we knew he met the Salvatore’s in New York while he was in the hospital that was the place we needed to go to. Hospital records were going to be the best chance of us figuring everything out.

  The door to the room opened and slammed shut as Elizabeth came storming in. When I looked up from my phone, she was tossing her bag down and throwing herself on the couch. She looked tired and stressed, but we didn’t have time to lie down and mope.

  “Grab your bags. We have to get out of here,” I said, before reaching for my own. She moved her arm from over her eyes and scrunched her brows at me. “Come on, grab your shit, and let’s go.” I nudged her with my knee to prove I was serious about leaving.

  “What’s going on? I thought we were going to stay here and see if we can find anything else before we leave.” She sat up as she spoke, never taking her eyes off me.

  “Plans changed. We need to get back to New York and get our hands on his medical records.”

  “How the hell are we going to do that? We can’t just walk in and ask for files.”

  She was right, but I had a plan.

  “I know someone. They owe me. We won’t have a problem getting in or getting the files.”

  “You know someone?” she asked.

  “Yes. Now, come on,” I said, urging her to get up.

  “Does this someone work for Natasha?”

  “No.”

  “Does this someone know your real name is Nick?”

  “Not exactly. She’s a--”

  “She?” Elizabeth’s left brow rose higher in skepticism. “You used this girl the same way you used me, didn’t you?”

  “That really doesn’t matter right now. I have a way to get our hands on the files. Do you want to figure this out, or do you want me to sit here and confess to you all the people I had to screw over to get a pay check?”

  Elizabeth stood from the couch, grabbed her bag harshly from the ground, and slung it over her sho
ulder. “We definitely don’t have enough time for you to do that.” The starkness in her words shredded my already wounded conscious a little more. “By all means, let’s go so you can manipulate this poor girl again.”

  I stuck my arm out to stop her from walking past me. I held my hand over her chest as I took a step toward her. She was under my nose. Her eyes were hard and vacant. I wanted to say fuck it. Fuck it all. What did I care if she figured this out or not? I shook my head down at her. What am I doing? Why am I even doing this?

  “I’m giving you everything. I’ve given you all of me. But that’s not going to change anything, is it? You still think I’m the same guy who was only using you to get to something else.” I took a step back from her and stared at the woman I thought had accepted me, flaws and all. She wouldn’t look at me. Her eyes kept searching for something to occupy them.

  “That’s not what I think,” she said, finally coming back to me.

  “It’s not? Are you sure about that?” I asked skeptically.

  “Yes, I’m sure. This isn’t just hard for you, you know!”

  “Don’t,” I said, holding my hand up to her so she’d stop with the lies. “You used me just as much as I used you. And as far as this being hard for you, I don’t believe it. You never cared about me. I was just an excuse for you to stay away from Salvatore.”

  All the emotions I had been bottling up began to spill over. I couldn’t just sit next to her and be the happy, fun guy anymore. I had feelings, feelings for her, and she could give two shits about me as long as she got Salvatore at the end of all this.

  “That’s not true,” she said in her defense.

  “I really wish I could believe that.”

  She pointed at herself and shouted at me. “I loved you! Don’t tell me I didn’t. The feelings I had for you were there, and they were strong. Why do you think it hurt so much when I found out you were lying to me?”

  I’d had enough for one night. “I think you were thankful that I lied to you the whole time. It made it easy for you to run into his arms. Don’t act like it didn’t.”

  “What’s going on with you? Where is all this coming from?” she asked.

  I shook my head at her because I was at the end of my rope. It was slipping from my hands, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to keep a hold on it anymore. “I feel like I’m always standing here, watching him destroy you, hurt you. What does he have that I don’t? What keeps making you, choose him? I’m standing here, Elizabeth, right in front of you. Where is he?” I challenged her.

  “I’m not doing this with you,” she said, holding her hands up in surrender and backing away from me.

  “Why not? You fight with him all the time.”

  “No, I’m not doing it.” She pointed at me and shook her head. She always tried to hide the tears that welled up in her eyes when she got scared, and this was no exception.

  “Why?” I pushed her. With every move she took away from me, I gained the ground back.

  “What do you want me to say, Nick? I fell in love with Simon, then he broke my heart. Then I met you, I met Nick. I like Nick a lot. He’s been in my corner this whole time, but he looks just like the man I fell in love with and, sometimes, I see him smile and I think, ‘God, I miss Simon. I miss how easy it was to be with him. I miss how he could make me laugh.’ So, no, this isn’t easy for me. There will always be a place in my heart for you--it’s just, Spencer’s is bigger.”

  So there it was. She did love me but would forever love him more. I staggered, the back of my legs hitting the couch. I let the furniture win as I fell back, landing on the plush fabric. I felt like I had been punched, stunned by a laser beam, slapped in the face. You name it, I felt it. I didn’t know what I was thinking. Maybe deep down I thought I could win her back after all this. I was stupid, a stupid man, trying to live out a dream that should have never been there in the first place.

  I felt hands clasp my knees tightly. I was staring up at the ceiling and had no intention of moving from that position.

  “Nick”

  I heard my name being called. I lifted my head from the back cushion. There, kneeling on the floor between my legs, was the most beautiful woman I’d ever loved. She chewed on the inside of her cheek. A nervous habit of hers that I picked up on when I was the man she fell in love with.

  “I know this isn’t ideal or even remotely normal, but I need you. I can’t do this without you.”

  “I don’t know if I can. You might have moved on, but I haven’t. I lied when I said just friends. I want more, I need more. I deserve more, if not from you, then from someone who’s going to love me for me, and I can’t find that when I’m near you.”

  It hurt like hell to say, but it needed to be said. If I wanted what she and Spencer had, I needed to get away from her, get away from everything that was connected to Simon and Colin and every other fake name I’d had over the years.

  “You’re right. You do deserve good things and, if you feel like you can’t have those things unless you’re away from me, then I’ll understand, but I need you this one last time. I need to be selfish this one last time and ask you to wait a few more days.”

  She was giving me the puppy dog eyes, those big brown puppy eyes that I couldn’t say no to.

  “Fine, but you owe me.”

  “Name it. You need a date, a car, a trip to Fiji? Whatever you want, it’s yours,” she said with a smile that lit her up like a Christmas tree.

  “Well, actually, its two things I want.” My felt my lips curl up with a devious idea.

  “You’re pushing it Nicky.” She winked at me. “What do you want?”

  “First, I want a chance to photograph you again, in a real studio this time, with all the extras--wardrobe, hair, make-up, everything.”

  “I think I can do that for you. What’s the second thing?” she asked, raising a brow.

  I sat up and scooted toward the edge of the couch. Elizabeth sat back on her heels and stared at me with a questioning look. I had to do it. I reached out and touched her face with the back of my fingers. She flinched when my skin touched hers but she kept still and kept watching me.

  Elizabeth Monroe was one of the strongest women I’d ever met. She kept a hard shell around her for the longest time, and I’d never forget when she let me crack it with a simple kiss. Her cheeks flushed as I took my time looking at her. Warmth filled them along with the pink hew I loved seeing. Her tongue licked her lips, wetting them and making them glisten in the soft, lamp-light-filled room. I leaned toward them, needing that glisten on my own lips.

  “Simon,” she said softly.

  I spoke as close to her lips as I could without touching them. “Kiss me goodbye, Belle. Give me this one last kiss goodbye before I’m gone forever.”

  Elizabeth’s head nodded ever so slightly. If I wasn’t as close to her as I was, I would have missed it.

  “Goodbye, Simon,” she whispered before closing the distance between us.

  Her lips pressed against my own. It was gentle and what we both needed. I caressed her face in my hand as she held onto my arm. Her fingers wrapped around my forearm and, as our lips began to part, we both let go. We let go of Simon and Belle. They were free now and, in some other universe, the two of them were happy and madly in love, at least that was what I was going to tell myself.

  Chapter 30

  Elizabeth

  The farther I got from him, the more it felt like Simon was disappearing. We’d closed a chapter in our lives, and I was glad that it ended like this. I was glad I got to say goodbye. Even if it hurt, it was the right thing to do.

  Nick and I caught a red eye out of Vegas and landed in New York by early morning. He took me to Charles. I was running on fumes, only catching a few moments of sleep on the plane ride back. I’d been going full steam for the past three days, and it was catching up with me. I fumbled with the key to my temporary new home. It was seven in the morning and, as I entered the condo, I was nearly blinded by what I saw.

 
I suddenly remembered that I’d had to announce my every move when Gia and Teddy were together, asI walked in and saw my brother’s ass and my best friend’s tits as he bent her over the kitchen counter. I spun around just in time to see the door close behind me.

  “Jesus Christ, Beth!” Charles yelled.

  I covered my eyes and attempted to peek over my shoulder. Gia had dropped to the floor to hide behind the counter. Charles stood in all his glory, and I thanked god the cookie jar on the counter covered his pecker.

  “It’s seven a.m. What are you doing banging my best friend this early and over the kitchen counter that we both have to share now?” I yelled, with my hand still covering my eyes.

  The cocky son of a bitch just stood there with his hands on his hips.

  “I didn’t expect you to be home. I rather like living alone, by the way. You’re not planning on staying long, are you?”

  “You’re disgusting. Please make sure you sterilize the kitchen before you leave for work today.”

  “Sorry, Beth.” I heard Gia cringe from behind the counter. She stuck her hand up in the air and waved toward me.

  “I’m going to pass out in bed for fifteen minutes. When I wake up, I’m going to take a hot relaxing shower, please don’t be screwing my best friend when I walk in there.”

  I saw Gia give the universal sign for okay followed by a thumbs up before I walked away. I kept my hand over my face but spread my fingers wider so I wouldn’t walk into a wall.

  I needed to lie down for just a few minutes. I needed to close my eyes and let the quiet of the room flood my senses. When I opened them back up, the room was still magically quiet. I rubbed the sleepiness from my eyes, knowing I needed to get up and at least shower before I passed out for good. Filth from traveling covered my skin. I could feel it as I rubbed my cheeks to help wake myself up. My hair was way overdue for a washing. The roots were slick with days of grease and currently matted to my cheek with drool.