The Return of Kris Kringle: A Christmas Romantic Comedy

by Caroline Mickelson

  The poor radishes took the brunt of her pent up, unresolved issues regarding his wealth. He watched as she grabbed three green bell peppers and made short work of them.

  “Here, let me,” Kyle reached for the pepper slices. “You keep cutting and I’ll arrange the veggie tray.”

  “I can do it by myself.”

  “Kris, there’s nothing wrong with working together.”

  The veggie tray forgotten, they faced each other as if they were in an old western showdown and it was time to take twenty paces backwards. Except that Kyle much preferred the idea of taking Kris into his arms. He’d had enough of the distance between them.

  “Kyle, what you don’t understand-”

  “Stop, Kris,” he couldn’t stand to hear the pain in her voice. His patience with her hang-up about his money had worn so thin it was nearly invisible. “Not another word about money. Not about a million dollars, not about a dime.”

  “But-”

  “But nothing.” He closed the short distance between them and drew Kris into his arms. When she didn’t object, he did what he’d been longing to do since he arrived at the North Pole. He kissed her.

  * * *

  Kris melted into Kyle’s embrace. She had no more power to resist his touch than a stick of butter could resist the sizzling heat of a frying pan. As the warmth of his kiss spread through her, Kris clung tightly to Kyle. She hadn’t felt this safe and warm since the moment she and Kyle had broken up, and neither had she realized just how much she’d missed it. Missed him.

  “Excuse me, helllooo…” a voice from the doorway called, breaking through Kris’ kiss induced delirium. “Should we go find you two oxygen tanks for when your smooch-a-thon is over?”

  Kris pulled away from Kyle. A guilty flush spread over her cheeks when she saw the crowd assembled in the kitchen entryway. Rapz, whose voice she’d recognized, stood in the forefront of a small crowd of elves. Noelle, who wore an amused expression, stood beside him. Behind her daughter were Kris’ cousin Nick and his wife Holly, both wearing grins. And behind them, Kris could see enough red velvet to know that Santa was witness to the only moment of passion that she’d had in months.

  She glanced up at Kyle, ready to apologize, but he looked amused, not annoyed.

  Kyle motioned for the group to come forward. “Come on in everyone,” he welcomed them. “Kris and I were just-”

  “Oh, we know what you were just doing.” Nick winked at them. “Call us crazy but we thought this was where the party was going to be. Something sure smells good.”

  The mention of food galvanized Kris into action. “We’re almost ready to serve so why don’t you all help yourself to a drink.” She pointed to the makeshift drink station she’d set up against the far wall. “We have green tea with a hint of lemongrass, pomegranate flavored sparkling water, and I’d be happy to make a sea kelp smoothie for anyone who would like one.”

  They all exchanged glances.

  “Oh, Mom, not again.” Noelle rolled her eyes.

  Kris lifted her hands. “What?”

  Kyle raised a hand. “We also have a new milk shake blender if anyone wants to start out with something cold and creamy. We’ve got chocolate, strawberry, vanilla, and mint chocolate chip.”

  “Whipped cream and cherries too?” an elf in the back of the crowd called out.

  “Of course, what kind of party would this be without a sundae station?”

  A chorus of cheers rang out as Noelle and Rapz led the charge in the direction that Kyle pointed. Not a single person so much as glanced at Kris’ beverage station as they passed by it. Frustration and resentment welled up within her. “Freeze.”

  That single word had the desired effect because the group came to a collective, immediate halt. To a one, they turned to look at her.

  “I’m afraid there’s been a misunderstanding,” Kris said, working to keep her voice encouraging rather than scolding. “Tonight’s menu features a lighter, more nutritious fare.”

  “No milkshakes?” her uncle broke the silence.

  “No, Santa, no milkshakes. Not tonight.” She grabbed a tray from the counter and held it out for the group’s inspection. “Why don’t you all start with an appetizer? We have shrimp marinated in lime juice, baby carrots with roasted pine nut hummus, or something that I personally love, roasted radish slices.”

  No one moved. Not Santa Claus, and not her daughter. In desperation, she turned to Kyle and held out the tray. “Can I tempt you, Kyle?”

  “Always, Kris, always.” He took a toothpick and skewered a piece of shrimp. He made rather a show of enjoying it but Kris appreciated that at least he was trying to help. “Good?” she prompted.

  “Mmm, delish, definitely a new favorite. Nick, you try one.” Kyle’s smile was genial, but it didn’t escape Kris’ notice that his glance at her cousin was pointed. “Go ahead, try the hummus.”

  Nick did, with a bit of flourish that was quintessentially Saint Nick. He dipped a carrot into the hummus and crunched away. When he was done he patted his lips with his cocktail napkin. “Best hummus I’ve ever had.”

  No doubt it was the only hummus he’d ever had, but Kris smiled her thanks. She turned to Rapz and fixed a stern eye on him. “Rapz, I know you don’t like to be left out of anything.” She held the tray out toward him. “Help yourself, my friend.”

  Rapz gulped. Kris tried not to smile as the elf reached out for an appetizer. His hand hesitated over the lime shrimp before he quickly bypassed it, and then the carrots and hummus, finally settling on the grilled radish slices. “Thank you, Miss Kringle,” he said as he took one, “you are most kind.”

  The entire group watched in silence as Rapz waved the radish slice under his nose. After it passed the smell test, he nibbled at the edge, a thoughtful expression on his face. Kris didn’t release her breath until the elf popped the entire slice into his mouth. As he began to chew, she smiled. Progress at last. “Who else would like to try-”

  “Oh no, holy snowflakes, someone help! Rapz is choking.” Jolly’s panicked voice interrupted Kris’ offer. A chorus of worried cries arose. Kris stood as if frozen, until she felt the weight of Kyle’s reassuring hand on her shoulder as he moved past her on his way to Rapz’s side.

  Kyle knelt down beside the elf. “Rapz, if you’re choking put your hands like this.” He demonstrated by crossing his hands over each other and placing them in front of his throat.

  Rapz shook his head violently and waved his hands. He sucked in a lungful of air and then ran to the rubbish bin and spat the remains of his radish into it.

  “Are you okay, my boy?” Santa asked after Rapz rejoined the group. He rested a white gloved hand on the elf’s shoulder.

  “Yes, sir, I’ll be fine.” Rapz shot an accusatory glance in Kris’ direction. “What. Was. That?”

  “A grilled radish.”

  “A vegetable? You gave me a vegetable? Good heaven, I could have been killed.”

  Her eyes widened. “What are you talking about? It was only a radish, a perfectly harmless vegetable.”

  “Bah.” Rapz shuddered.

  “Why did you eat it then?” Kris demanded.

  “It was pink,” Rapz said, as if that explained everything. “I thought it was safe.”

  Kris, at a loss for words, looked around the gathered group but no one, not even Nick or Santa, said anything in her defense.

  “You know,” Rapz was warming to the topic, “this wouldn’t have happened if we’d had something proper to eat.”

  “Proper?”

  “Yeah, marshmallows, or cotton candy, or peppermint fudge. You know, a proper meal. Didn’t they teach you anything about how to cook a real meal down below?”

  “Okay, that’s enough of that,” Kyle moved to stand next to Kris. He took the tray from her and set it on to the counter. “We obviously have very different ideas of what constitutes a suitable menu.”

  Kris whirled to face him. “Whose side are you on?”

  Rapz crossed his arms
over his chest. “Yeah, Mr. Masterson, exactly whose side are you on?”

  Kyle held up his hands. “There’s no need to take sides.”

  “Oh, yes there is,” Kris was as surprised as everyone else to hear her passionate response. “Tell them, Kyle, that what they think passes for food is completely unacceptable.”

  Kyle looked like he was a man about to choose between being eaten alive by a hungry alligator or a starving crocodile. “Kris, honey, of course everyone here loves your cooking.”

  His words caused an immediate uproar of protest, and Santa finally lifted his hands. “Silence, please.” When it was quiet, he looked around, a rather pleased expression on his face. “I know exactly how we can settle this once and for all.”

  This proclamation set off deafening warning bells in Kris’ mind. She shook her head as if to clear away the confusion. She didn’t want to miss a single word Santa had to say, and she knew her uncle well enough to know that the pleased expression on his face meant more was coming.

  She opened her mouth to ask for clarification but Kyle beat her to it.

  “Santa, Sir, what are you talking about?” he asked.

  “A cook-off.” Santa clapped his hands together. “We’ll settle the question of which one of you should be in charge of menu planning. How’s that for a grand idea?”

  Chapter Seven

  Kyle slurped the last trace of chocolate milk-shake from the bottom of his glass. The sweet, creamy coolness had certainly satisfied his growling stomach but he still felt miserable. He pushed the glass away.

  “Want another one?” Rapz asked hopefully. “I love making shakes. We could try strawberry banana mint chip this time.”

  Kyle groaned. “Aren’t you supposed to be wrapping presents somewhere right now?”

  The elf drew himself up to his full height of not-quite-four-feet and threw his dish towel onto the kitchen counter. “Hmmph.”

  The righteous indignation in his response was enough to make Kyle feel guilty. “Sorry for snapping at you, Rapz. Just ignore me.” Kyle raked his fingers through his hair as he looked around the deserted kitchen. “It’s just been a rotten night.”

  “Ah, I forgive you.” Rapz headed back into the walk-in fridge and came back a moment later with two bottles in one hand, two shot glasses in the other hand. “Let’s drown our sorrows in the hard stuff.” He set the bottles and glasses on the table and climbed up on a stool.

  Kyle reached for a bottle and examined the label. His eyebrows rose. “Diet soda is the hard stuff?”

  “You betcha.” Rapz slid his glass forward. “Sometimes only artificial sweeteners will do. Pour up.”

  Kyle did as he was bid. And he’d thought the evening couldn’t have gotten any more bizarre…how wrong he’d been. He watched in silence as the soda’s fizzy foam settled down. “What do we drink to?”

  “Hard-to-understand women, what else?”

  Kyle lifted his glass and clinked it against Rapz’s. “To Kris, the most beautiful, fun, kind, generous woman I’ve ever met, as well as the most stubborn.” He tossed back the dark liquid and slammed his glass on the table. “How about another?”

  “Since you’re not driving anywhere tonight, why not?” Rapz poured another measure of soda into the glasses. “Did you ever think that you and Kris just aren’t meant for each other?”

  Kyle drained the last of his soda and smacked his glass down on the table. “No, don’t be ridiculous. I love Kris. She loves me.” He put his hand over his glass when the elf moved to refill it.

  Rapz shrugged. “If you say so.”

  “I do.” They belonged together, this Kyle believed with all of his heart. But why then did Rapz look skeptical? More importantly, why did Kris herself seem so unwilling to accept his help? Uneasiness simmered in his heart. Could he be wrong about Kris’ feelings?

  The kitchen clock loudly ticked away several minutes. Finally Kyle couldn’t take the quiet any longer. “What should I do, Rapz?”

  The elf hopped down off of his seat and began to pace the length of the kitchen floor. His brow was furrowed in concentration; his hands were clasped behind his back. The tiny bells on the tips of his slippers made a merry jingling sound as he strode. After several moments, he turned to face Kyle and held up his hand. “Fear not, I’ve got a sure fire way for you to win your lady love’s undying affection.”

  “By all means, share your wisdom with me,” Kyle encouraged him. “I’ve obviously made a mess of things thus far.”

  “Let’s not get histrionic.” Rapz climbed back up on his stool and folded his hands on the table in front of him. “The solution is terribly simple.”

  “It is?” Kyle could hear the skepticism in his own voice.

  “What you need to do is cave.”

  Kyle’s eyebrows rose. “Cave?”

  Rapz nodded solemnly. “Give in. Give up. Throw the contest.”

  “Oh, for heaven’s sake, Rapz, get serious.” Kyle pushed away from the table. He looked around the kitchen. He needed to chop or mince something before he lost his sanity. “You know Kris. If she found out that I stood aside so she won, she’d never forgive me. She has too much pride to let me get away with that.”

  “So don’t get caught.”

  Kyle laughed. “Oh, man, you’re seriously underestimating Kris.”

  Rapz waved away Kyle’s objection. “Not at all, I know how smart she is. But I also know that what she doesn’t know can’t upset her. Right?”

  Kyle shook his head. “It’s not that simple.”

  “Sure it is. You just make a meal that makes us all gag. Make us ill. Take us down.” The elf lifted his arms above his head. “Send us all to the infirmary if you have to.”

  Kyle laughed. “You are some kind of crazy. I don’t think we need to go that far.”

  “Think about it overnight. You’ll see I’m right.” Rapz looked pleased with himself. “Let’s just say that around the North Pole, I’m known as Dr. Love.”

  “Really?”

  “Well, actually, no. But I’ll have earned the title if this little plan works.”

  Kyle didn’t share the elf’s confidence. Yes, Kris would be delighted to win the cook off if it meant she would be able to be in charge of the Christmas Central kitchens. But if she ever so much as caught a hint of a whisper that he’d let her win, she’d never forgive him. Never. He sighed.

  “No deal, Rapz.” Kyle crossed his arms over his chest. “Kris has trust issues as it is. I’m not going to do anything to make her distrust me any more than she already does. She deserves better than to be set up.”

  Rapz studied him for a long moment before he spoke. “Okay,” he finally said. “You’re right. Play it straight. You’ll probably win anyway, and Kris must know it, right? She’s probably going to cook something like a roast beef with twice baked potatoes.” He shuddered. “And if she adds a salad or side of veggies, as she’s been known to do, then you’ll win no matter what.”

  Win no matter what. The elf’s words played over in Kyle’s mind as he made his way back to his room. Rapz was right. If the elves were to be the judges in Santa’s cook off, they’d cast their votes against Kris’ healthy entry. Which made the whole idea of a cook off ridiculous, and the only fair thing to do was ask Santa first thing in the morning to drop the whole idea. Even Santa would have to admit that he’d set up a contest that his niece didn’t have a chance of winning.

  * * *

  Kris awoke the next morning with a wicked craving for a glazed doughnut. Make that a glazed doughnut with sprinkles. She groaned and pulled her pillow over her face. What was happening to her? She screamed into her pillow.

  “Mom?”

  Kris lowered the pillow and saw Noelle staring down at her. She smiled weakly. “Good morning, sweetie.”

  Noelle sat on the edge of Kris’ bed. “Why were you screaming into the pillow?”

  “I was using it as a silencer so I didn’t wake you up.”

  “Do you feel better now?”

>   Kris sat up and tossed the pillow to the end of the bed. “Very much so.” She held out her arms. “But I could still use a hug.”

  Duly hugged, Kris realized that she no longer wanted a doughnut. “What do you want to do today, baby?”

  Noelle’s face brightened. “I’m going to help Mrs. Claus name the kittens that are going to be delivered as Christmas presents. She said I can help write the names on the tags and help pick out ribbons too.”

  “Sounds fun. I used to do the same thing when I was your age.”

  “Did you ever get to help with the puppies?”

  Kris laughed. “No, that was Saint Nick’s department. Carol and I much preferred the kittens.”

  Noelle nodded. “I do too. So, Mom, it sounds like you used to be happy when you lived here.”

  “Oh, I was. I loved growing up here.”

  “Why aren’t you happy now that you’re back?”

  “I am.” Kris could tell by the way her daughter lifted her eyebrows that she wasn’t buying it. “Look, Noelle, it’s just a big change to come back home after so much time away. But I am happy to be back.”

  Noelle didn’t take her eyes from her mother’s face. “Are you happy that Kyle is living here?”

  Kris flopped back on the bed and pulled the blanket up over her head.

  “Nice try, Mom.” Noelle pulled the blanket down. “Aren’t you secretly happy that he’s here?”

  “Maybe I would be if he weren’t trying to poison everyone with massive doses of sugar and chocolate.” Kris rolled onto her side and propped herself up on her elbow. “Why are we even talking about this now?”

  “Because you need to admit that you want Kyle to stay. Sugar and all.”

  “Sugar and all?”

  Noelle nodded solemnly.

  “Do you want him to stay with us?”

  “I do. I was talking to Jolly and Rapz, and they think you should marry him. I do too.”

  Kris made a mental note to add extra broccoli to Jolly and Rapz’s lunch trays. “Marriage is a big step, honey.”