Change of Possession

by M. R. Polish

  “It was my fault. I didn’t have my eyes on the road and ran a red light. I just kept going without looking. It was a busy highway, but we never made it across.” Tears streamed down my face. “I didn’t mean to kill her.”

  Vahn held me tight and kissed the top of my head. “I’m sure she already forgave you.”

  “But I can’t forgive myself,” I sobbed.

  “I can kind of understand your pain. My parents died on their way to pick me up from a party.”

  I sniffed back another sob and twisted to look up at him. “I’m so sorry.”

  “There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t feel guilt. I was at one of Steve’s damn parties trying to learn more, trying to find justice for Christie. I don’t remember ever setting my drink down, but somehow something was slipped into it and they drugged me the same way they did you. I couldn’t find the keys in my pocket, so I called my dad. I’ll never forget why they were out driving that night. Hell, it was a freak accident. Some drunk driver coming home from a bar hit them straight on. So I guess we have more in common than we knew.”

  My stomach lurched and I looked away. “I’m so sorry, Vahn. You probably hate me.”

  He let go of my hand and turned my face to look into my eyes. “Why would I hate you? It wasn’t you that killed my parents. Besides, you have your own demons to fight over your choices. The only thing I want to do is help you get over them and enjoy life again. I want to enjoy life, maybe even with you, if you’ll let me.”

  My heart sped up and that familiar warmth flooded me. I didn’t care that we’d just started dating, that was the most romantic thing anyone ever said to me. I couldn’t look him in the eye any longer, afraid I would give away how I felt.

  I told Vahn more about Celeste and he told me about his parents. It was a moment that would be with me forever. We had more in common than our hatred for Steve. We had something that no one else could understand—a mutual feeling of guilt and the loss of people we loved.

  I rested my head on his shoulder and inhaled his scent, something musky mixed with a hint of acrylic. His heart thumped rapidly and I swore it matched my own. I couldn’t remember the last time I was so content. Being with Vahn felt right, it felt good. Something about him made my insides flutter and parts of me heat up. My blush swept across my face when I realized how infatuated I was with him, and it wasn’t because he knew my secret and still chose to be with me.

  He held my hand up and drew small circles and swirling designs on my palm with the tip of his finger, sending a shiver up my arm.

  “You know how they show people in movies getting together and just knowing right off the bat that they were supposed to be?” he asked quietly as he continued to run his fingertip over my palm.

  “Yeah. What do they call that? Insta-love? Crazy, huh?”

  “Yeah, crazy.” He paused for a moment. “I can’t believe I want to say this, but, I like you, and for not knowing you more than a couple days, I feel like maybe the movies aren’t far off. Maybe not the L word thing yet, but just being with someone who you know you’re meant to be with. Being with you, Keeley, it feels right.” He let out a groan. “Sorry, I might be a little crazy.”

  I giggled. “No, you’re not crazy. I was thinking the same thing. Being with you feels natural, as if I’m supposed to be here with you. Like this spot on your shoulder was made just for me to rest on.”

  “Girl, now you’re just teasing me.” He dropped my palm, rolled over, and placed a hand on either side of my head, hovering inches above my face. “There’s just something about you.”

  “So you keep saying.”

  He lowered himself and kissed me. His lips lightly caressed my own, sending chills down my spine. I reached up and ran my fingers through his hair and down his back. The kiss didn’t last long enough for how it made me feel, but I was sure I’d feel his lips even while I dreamed. This moment would be etched into my memory forever.

  Eight

  The whole next week I floated on cloud nine. Every day was one that I wanted to replay over and over, never wanting them to end. Vahn and I spent almost every minute together we could, after school for me and some days after work for him. Since he was only taking a couple of classes in the mornings, we had to work out our times so we could see each other as much as possible. His work was lenient since he was the owner, but he still had to be there for his employees and responsibilities. My favorite place to hang out was at the wall. I knew there was something between me and Vahn, something more than I thought could ever exist. The movies could call it whatever they wanted; I was sure that some of the instant attraction depicted in fiction held some truth. My stomach still got butterflies every time I saw him, or thought of him.

  I couldn’t believe I was so lucky to have someone like him for a boyfriend. He wasn’t only sexy, but he could paint, cook, and make me laugh. He wasn’t the world’s best chef, considering we ate macaroni from a box the one night he did cook for me, but I didn’t complain.

  Caty still sat next to me in Professor Priese’s class every day, except she never talked to me. Once, she gave me a sad smile before lowering her head but never looked at me again. Alison scoffed at me when I tried to ask Caty what was wrong.

  Alison caught me after class as I walked to the food court. “You must have pissed off someone on the football team. It’s the only thing that makes sense.”

  I stopped walking. “What?”

  “They make the rules here. They say swim, you ask how far. The quarterback says I want your girlfriend, you breakup with her. They say don’t talk to her, you don’t talk. It’s been that way for years. Well, for those of us who have had to deal with Steve and his posse in high school it’s been years. Everyone here has already adapted to it too, seeing as how this is Steve’s third year.”

  I swallowed the lump in my throat. She obviously knew something, probably something more than Vahn and myself. Maybe this was my chance to help and find out more. “What about you? If they said don’t talk, then why are you talking to me?”

  She laughed. “I was one of the girlfriends, a long time ago. I had my thrill ride with Brick; he wanted to be my boyfriend but I wanted nothing to do with him, or any other jock. I had a guy, his name was John.” Her voice broke.

  “Alison, what happened?”

  “Look, I’m not supposed to talk about it, but I want to warn you about them.” She sighed and looked around us before speaking more. “John refused to break up with me for Brick, so the whole team came after him. He spent a week in the hospital, but he couldn’t tell anyone who did it because they told him I’d get it worse. I was forced to be around Brick every second I wasn’t sleeping or in school. After he tired of me, my boyfriend didn’t want me anymore because I was spoiled.” A tear fell down her face. “I tried to say no, I tried to get away. I really did, but they would’ve killed John if I said anything. I was too scared to go to the cops. ”

  I touched her arm, but she pulled away and wiped her tears away with her hands. “If you tell anyone I talked to you, I’ll deny it. I don’t want to die.”

  I gulped. This was much worse than just dealing drugs. “Alison, you know that if you report it, things can be done, restraining orders, arrests…”

  “No! You don’t get it, if I say anything to anyone… I’ve been warned.” She sucked in another deep breath. “So, what did you do to piss them off?”

  I choked back my own tears. Her news was more than upsetting, it was downright horrifying. For anyone to think they couldn’t go to the authorities for fear of death was awful. I wanted to go and tell the police, but I didn’t think I had enough to have them arrested. Maybe I could get Alison to talk, to help not only herself but other girls too. There was always a way. “I told Steve no. Repeatedly.”

  She sniffed and wiped her tears. “Oh, shit! You’re in for a long road. So did they just ban everyone from speaking to you, or do you know if it’s worse yet?”

  “I don’t know. He texted me that I would be sor
ry.”

  She touched my arm. “Keeley, if I knew now what I knew then,” she sighed. “I know how you feel. I was… I am too scared to report him, but maybe you aren’t.” Hope glimmered in her eyes. I could only imagine the fear living inside her.

  The thought of calling my dad for advice popped in my head, but quickly vanished when I knew how much more I’d be disappointing him by letting him know what I was getting messed up in. I’d have to gather what I needed and turn it over to Vahn to report. I wanted to stay out of the police records for a long time.

  After a little coaxing, Alison came over to my place when she got out of classes for the day. We ordered a large pizza and found a movie to watch. She kicked her shoes off by the door and bounded over to the couch. “I love this place!” she squealed. It was nice to see her relax a bit and smile. “I share an apartment with three other girls and they all hate me. The team totally has them under their thumbs. I feel bad for Stacey though, she’s one of my roommates, and has had the worst punishment from the team so far.”

  I stopped in my tracks on my way to the couch. “I just met a Stacey the other night. Shy, brownish hair, a burn scar on her face…”

  “Yeah, that’s her. A house fire that officials blamed on faulty wiring caused that burn, but I know better. I’m sure it was someone on the team.”

  I gasped as I plopped down on the couch. “What?”

  “Yeah, wait, it gets better. She was the high school hottie, everyone wanted to be her, or with her. Jonah was into her, but she said no. She wasn’t dating anyone, but she wasn’t interested either. After weeks of hounding her, Jonah gave up.”

  “But?” I knew there had to be more.

  “But, Steve won’t take no for an answer, even if it isn’t directed at him. Jonah’s his best friend, so no one says no to him either.”

  My stomach churned. I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear more.

  “That weekend her house caught fire, her bedroom door wouldn’t open, and she was stuck inside. She screamed from the window. Steve and Jonah were down below in her yard looking up at her, but never moved to help. Firefighters rescued her, but it was almost too late. She barely survived.”

  That was definitely not the story Steve gave me about what happened. “And no one reported it? How do they get away with it? Oh my God, I think I might be sick.”

  “Yeah, well, you’re just in the beginning stages. My life is miserable, I tried to get into another college, to move away and start over, but my parents can barely afford to help me stay here and I wasn’t accepted by other schools.” She glanced away. “I’ve been close to killing myself more times than I can count just so they couldn’t threaten me anymore. Steve has a way of dragging someone through the darkest pit of despair. Other people’s misery is something he gets off on.”

  “Oh, Alison, I’m so sorry. I totally understand depression. I can only imagine how Steve brought you down. I’m glad you’re alive, really. We should have done this sooner, this whole friend thing.”

  She grabbed my hands and pleaded with her eyes. “Promise me something.”

  I cocked my head slightly. “Sure.”

  “If anything ever happens to me, I mean, you know, like ‘accidently’. Don’t let my parents think I was a bad girl. It would break their heart.”

  I shook my head. “Nothing’s going to happen to you. You make it sound like you’re on death row or something.”

  “Who knows what talking to you will get me. Besides, it’s not as I didn’t think about that before I said anything. And, it’s also not as if I’m not ready. Life’s been way less than happy for me and I don’t think I’ll find peace anytime soon.”

  My stomach twisted in knots. I hated hearing that she thought the only way out was death. That was definitely not true. There was always another way. “Don’t talk like that. There has to be a way to figure it all out, to stop Steve from being a prick, and find a way to have the team held accountable.”

  I had to help her. I might have a guilty conscience, but I still knew that no matter what, life was precious, and no one, absolutely no one, deserved to think their life wasn’t worth living any more. Anger flooded me and I clenched my fists. All I could think about was decking Steve as hard as I could in the face. I wanted to wring his neck, kick him in the…

  A knock on the front door made us both jump. I looked at her and smiled. “Pizza.” I let out a deep breath as I rose to get the cash on the kitchen counter.

  I opened the door to a freckle faced high school student in a pizza delivery uniform. I paid him and closed the door, making sure to lock it behind me. Lifting the box, I inhaled the scent of pineapples and bacon, and then set it on the coffee table.

  I went to the kitchen for drinks and paper plates. “What do you want to drink? I have water and soda.”

  “A cola works, thanks.”

  I grabbed two cans from the fridge and hurried to the couch. Alison put the movie on and we dug into our pizza. It felt good to do something with another girl again. Alison reminded me of Celeste. Not that she could ever take her place, but it could be nice to have an actual friend again. People could have more than one friend, right?

  My phone went off and I checked it, hesitant. Each time it rang I worried it would be from Steve. I couldn’t help but smile when I was it was from Vahn. Hey beautiful. Thinking about U. Wanna do something 2nite?

  I texted back: Can’t. Hanging with Alison 2night. Girls night.

  That’s good. U need 1 of those. Wanna do something 2morrow?

  “I know that smile,” Alison said. “I’ve had it before. What’s it say?”

  I lowered the phone and tried to keep the smile from returning, but it was stuck. “It’s from Vahn. He wants to do something tomorrow.”

  “Well? Text back already. What are you waiting for?”

  I laughed as I hit reply. “I know, I know. It’s crazy. We’ve only been together two weeks, but it feels like so much more already. Is that strange? I mean, should I have so many feelings for Vahn so soon?”

  “My mom and dad swear they were in love at first sight, and they’re still together twenty-four years later. I don’t think it’s crazy at all.” Alison gulped down her soda.

  I texted Vahn back with a huge grin: Luv 2.

  It didn’t take but a second for him to reply: Gr8. Wear painting clothes. C U at noon?

  I giggled. I wasn’t sure what he meant by painting clothes, but I would figure it out. I texted back: K. : ) Can’t wait.

  I took a bite of pizza and contemplated what it meant. Surely he didn’t expect me to paint anything. If he did, he was in for a surprise cause that was the last thing I knew how to do. Art was never my thing in high school. I couldn’t even hold a brush right.

  The movie ended up being a total dud, but we made the most of it by turning down the volume and letting it finish playing out in the background as we talked. It was one in the morning before we started yawning.

  “Why don’t you just stay on the couch tonight?” I asked her. It was a selfish request, but I didn’t really want to be alone after finding out so much about Steve.

  “Really? Yeah, okay. That works for me. I don’t have class tomorrow so I’m good for a bit.”

  Excited, I leapt up from the couch. “Great. I’ll go get a blanket for you.”

  I walked down the hall to my room, flipped the light on, and flung the closet door open. I knew I had one or two extra blankets somewhere in there. I pulled one off the top shelf and closed the door. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw movement by my window. I cried out and dropped the quilt.

  Alison came running to my room. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. I mean, well, I saw something, but I don’t know what it was.”

  “Where was it?” Her brow line wrinkled as she scanned the room.

  “By the window.” The curtains were closed and I had no intentions of opening them.

  Alison hesitated as she neared them.

  “Wait,” I said. “Let’s just fo
rget about it.”

  “Sorry, chicky, I can’t sleep if I think something, or someone, is creeping around the house.” She flung the curtains back in one quick fluid motion.

  She let out a sigh of relief, which made me relax a little more. “There’s nothing there. You might be just as paranoid as I am.”

  I smiled. “Yeah, I guess. I just have too much going through my head I guess.”

  “It’s okay. I get it. I’m always looking around every corner too.”

  Wow, what a way to live. I wasn’t going to spend my life afraid of my own shadow. “Well, I refuse to do that.”

  Alison backed up and looked away.

  I reached out and touched her arm. “I didn’t mean…Alison, I didn’t mean to…”

  “No, it’s okay, I know. I shouldn’t be this way, but I am. I can’t help it. I’m scared.”

  I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her in for a hug. She shouldn’t ever have to feel that way. “I’m sorry, Alison.”

  The rest of the night was spent tossing and turning in bed. Every noise I heard, I couldn’t help but wonder if it was someone from the football team. Each time I closed my eyes I pictured Stacey and Alison. Their stories mixed with everything I already lived through made for the worst nightmares. I finally concluded that the universe was mad at me for trying to move on, for trying to be happy. This was my punishment.

  It wasn’t until the sun rose that I was calmed down enough for sleep. I heard Alison snoring slightly from the living room so I relaxed, letting sleep take over.

  A few hours later, noises coming from the kitchen, jolted me wide-awake, and I grabbed my phone to see what time it was. Noon. I slept until lunchtime, but I felt so much more rested. “Alison?” I hollered. No answer. No more noises. I strained to hear anything but it was silent. I checked my phone again. There were five new text messages waiting for me. Two were from Vahn, two were from Alison, and one from Steve.