Letting Go (Holding On Book 2)

by Jolie, Meg

  “I did, actually, just this morning,” Quinn admitted. “I didn’t want her to hear it from anyone else. And after last night, I think Luke and I…might…have a chance at really making this work,” she said slowly.

  “How did Mom take it?”

  “Honestly? Better than I thought. She didn’t seem all that surprised. She did thank me for waiting a ‘respectable amount of time’ before I decided it was necessary to date my ‘departed husband’s brother’.” There was a slight growl to Quinn’s tone. “But she really does hope that things work out for us because I deserve some happiness.” Her tone was a little mocking when she repeated the last part.

  Carly groaned. “Wouldn’t you think that just once she could say to us…‘I’m so happy for you’ and just let it go at that?”

  This brought laughter from Quinn. “She totally wouldn’t be Mom if she did that. But at least I went into the conversation mentally prepared. And like I said, overall, she took it better than I thought she would. I guess really, maybe she knew she didn’t have a choice.”

  “I swear Quinn, if I turn into her, do something drastic to me to make sure I see the error of my ways.”

  Quinn burst out laughing and promised that she would; as long as Carly reciprocated the favor.

  Carly was silent for a few moments after that. Finally, she dove in with what Quinn assumed was the topic she really wanted to tackle.

  “You mentioned Luke was living with Jesse,” she began hesitantly and Quinn cringed. “I was just wondering…has he mentioned how Jesse is doing?”

  Quinn dropped herself down into her couch cushions and blew out a breath. “I think he’s doing well.”

  “I meant…I wondered if he’s happy?” Her voice was soft.

  “I assume you’re asking if he’s happy with Betsy. But I can’t really answer that because I’ve never really seen them together. When I see Jesse, it’s usually when he’s hanging out with Luke.” It wasn’t a lie…but it wasn’t the entire truth, either. Luke made it sound like maybe Jesse wasn’t all that happy. Quinn didn’t know that for sure so she just didn’t see the point in telling Carly that. Not when she’d just gotten back together with Nolan.

  “Okay,” Carly said with a sigh. “I was only asking because…”

  Quinn waited for her sister to pick up the thought. When she didn’t, she pressed for more. “Because, why, Carly?”

  “I guess because I needed to know. I need to accept that things with Jesse are really over this time. I think maybe things didn’t work out with Nolan before because I didn’t let them. I’ve been thinking that I didn’t really give him a chance like I should have.” She sounded utterly dejected. “I really need to put the past behind me. I need to move on. Just like I’ve been telling you to do.”

  “Don’t hate me for saying this,” Quinn said softly, “but I think you’re right. You and Jesse…you just never really seemed happy together. To be honest, you don’t exactly seem happy now, either. But maybe that’s because it’s like you said. You need to put the past in the past.”

  “Is that what you’re doing?” Carly asked.

  “I’m trying,” Quinn said. “There are days that are harder than others. On the other hand, sometimes you don’t have a choice in the matter. So you just do what you need to do.”

  “You know time supposedly heals,” Carly said. “I hope that’s true.”

  Quinn nodded, silently wondering which one of them Carly was referring too.

  9

  The next few months passed quickly. November faded into December and December quickly turned in to January. The holidays kept everyone busy. This caused time to feel like it was passing at a faster rate than usual.

  The holidays weren’t nearly as difficult as they’d been the year prior, the year immediately following Jake’s death. Last year had been Carter’s first Thanksgiving and Christmas. He’d been too young to know the days were special.

  This year had been different. He brought much needed delight and amusement to his family.

  Quinn and Luke spent the holidays together, rotating between their families. Quinn was frustrated that Margo wasn’t as accepting of Luke as she’d hoped. Pete seemed happy with whatever made Quinn happy.

  Neither Quinn nor Luke had any doubt that Nora and Tom were okay with them being together. And Carly was finally caught up in her own love life, with Nolan.

  Quinn was disappointed he hadn’t appeared at either Thanksgiving or Christmas. Since it didn’t seem to bother Carly, she was determined to not let it bother her either. Carly assured everyone they would meet him when the time was right.

  Apparently, that time wasn’t quite yet.

  Quinn and Luke had spent most of their evenings in, as opposed to going out, over the past few months. With the weather being as cold as it was, there wasn’t much to do around town, anyway.

  So far, they’d managed to avoid Jesse and Betsy. Quinn didn’t mind Jesse; it was Betsy she had an issue with. She’d had a run in with her before. Betsy disliked Carly. She didn’t mind who knew it. This alone was enough of a reason for Quinn to keep her distance.

  Yet, when Luke told her that Jesse invited them to meet for burgers, she didn’t want to disappoint Luke. He and Jesse had known each other a long time but had really gotten to be good friends over the past half year.

  They had decided to keep it casual so they met at Shady’s, the local bar and grill. The evening had gone well through dinner but as Betsy’s beer consumption increased, so did her attitude.

  The waitress had cleared their burger baskets away, and replenished their drinks. There was a lull in conversation and then Betsy shifted in her chair. She leaned forward to speak to Luke who was directly across the table from her.

  “So Luke, how’s the house hunting going?” Betsy wanted to know. She had a smile plastered on her face. Her head was cocked to the side.

  Quinn thought the smile, like her caring attitude, seemed entirely too fake.

  Luke shrugged as he set his beer back down on the table. “It’s not.”

  “It’s not,” Betsy repeated. She was clearly not pleased.

  “Come on Betsy, it’s the middle of winter,” Jesse said. “No one wants to deal with a move in the middle of winter.”

  “Spring will be here before we know it. It’s not like a sale goes through overnight. Really, don’t you think he should be looking?” she huffed. She’d crossed her arms over her chest and she was giving Jesse a defiant look.

  Jesse shrugged and looked at Luke. “He’ll find a house when he’s ready.”

  “Are you sure about that?” Betsy asked. She took a big, unladylike gulp of beer. Quinn grimaced. “Or is he just going to continue to mooch off of you?”

  Jesse shook his head at her. “Not that it’s any of your business, but he’s not ‘mooching’ off of me. He’s paying rent. He’s welcome to stay as long as he’d like.” He shrugged as he looked at her. “The extra income is kind of nice.”

  Quinn was sure that last line was thrown in for Luke’s benefit. Jesse was a successful loan officer at a bank in town. He really didn’t need the money. They all knew he was letting Luke stay with him as a favor to Luke. And probably because he thought Jake, who’d been his best friend, would approve.

  Betsy wasn’t happy with his answer. She turned to Quinn. “Why doesn’t he just move in with you? It would make more sense.”

  Quinn stared at her in surprise. The thought had not crossed her mind.

  “Why don’t you mind your own business?” Luke asked with a smile, but his tone had an edge.

  She shrugged. “You’ve taken over Jake’s life in every other way. You took over his job, his best friend, his wife, probably his kid. Why not just move into his house and finish it off?”

  “I can’t believe you said that,” Quinn quietly seethed.

  “Neither can I,” Jesse agreed.

  “Besides it’s a family business. Luke worked there before he moved to Baxter. He just took back the job that had been
his all along,” Quinn pointed out.

  Betsy shrugged. “Fine, the job was his. You can’t make that excuse for the rest of it. Because none of it was his to take but it looks like he’s helping himself anyway.”

  Luke’s face had turned white. He didn’t say a word. Quinn leaned over and put a hand on his shoulder. “Maybe we should go,” she suggested.

  Her eyes scanned the dining area. The place was crowded, as it typically was on the weekend, but everyone around them seemed to be enmeshed in their own conversations. The last thing Luke needed was to have this conversation in public.

  With Betsy of all people.

  Quinn knew that he already struggled with some of these issues. Neither of them needed Betsy to make them any worse. She’d had a hunch this dinner was a bad idea. She was more than ready to leave.

  Jesse was glaring at Betsy. He slowly turned his gaze away from her. His eyes glittered with anger when he looked to Quinn and Luke. “No. You two stay. I’m sure you deserve a night out.”

  Luke shook his head. He kept his gaze lowered. “I actually don’t really feel like staying.”

  “Well,” Jesse said as he stood, “you do what you need to do. But Betsy and I are getting out of here.”

  Betsy rolled her eyes. “Don’t you think you’re overreacting? Everyone else is thinking it. I’m the only one that’s bothered to say it.”

  Jesse shook his head. “It’s not what I’m thinking. Actually, what I’m thinking is that you and I need to get out of here. I think some privacy is in order.”

  His tone was harsh but she ignored it. Either that, or she was seriously too self-absorbed to notice it. Because she said, “Privacy would’ve been my preference all along.”

  Jesse nodded his head toward the door. “Let’s go.”

  Betsy sighed as she got to her feet. She took off without a goodbye and without waiting to see if Jesse was keeping up.

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “Luke, she was totally out of line. What she said was bullshit.” He turned to Quinn and shook his head. “She’s not always like this. I think something about you brings out the worst in her.”

  “Something about me?” Quinn asked with raised eyebrows. “Something like, oh, say, my sister?”

  Jesse grimaced for a second before pulling his gaze back to Quinn. “Yeah, that would be my guess.” He glanced over his shoulder. Betsy was standing at the door, arms crossed, scowl embedded on her face. Jesse muttered something under his breath that neither Quinn nor Luke caught.

  “I’m paying for dinner, so no arguing,” he said as he pulled out his wallet. “It’s the least I can do. I’ll see you two later. I hope this didn’t ruin your evening. But I’ve gotta go. I’ve got some things I need to take care of.” He left, heading to the bar with their bill in his hands. His scowl when he left matched Betsy’s.

  They watched him storm through the crowd. Quinn noticed Luke glance around, he must’ve come to the same conclusion—that no one was paying attention—because he instantly looked relieved.

  Betsy finally noticed Jesse hadn’t immediately followed her. So she made her way back through the crowd to stand by his side as he paid. He didn’t look her way as he waited for his turn.

  “So, um, what do you want to do?” she hesitantly asked.

  “Actually,” Luke said as he tossed some money down on the table for a tip, “I’ve kind of had enough of this place.”

  Quinn nodded. “I have to. Do you want to come back to my house?”

  Luke hesitated a moment before standing. When he got to his feet, he kept his eyes averted. “Actually, I’m kind of tired tonight. Maybe I should just go home.”

  Quinn didn’t argue as she shrugged into her jacket. She stayed a step behind Luke as he hurried out of Shady’s. When they were outside, she grabbed a hold of his arm. When he turned to face her, he’d regained some of his color but his expression looked haunted.

  “Luke,” she said quietly, “I would really like it if we went back to my house. In fact, I’d like it if you stayed.”

  They continued to walk toward his truck. “I don’t know.”

  “Why not?” she asked. He hadn’t stayed over again since that very first night.

  By the time they maneuvered their way through the icy lot, he’d calmed some. He glanced over at her as he opened his passenger door. She didn’t want him to go home alone. Not when he was in such a melancholy mood. Some days were hard enough. Neither of them needed additional stress, additional reminders thrown at them by other people.

  She was furious that Betsy had such a big mouth. She didn’t want Luke going home alone, stewing over her words.

  “Luke? Please come home with me.”

  He didn’t answer as he held her door open. When he came around the other side and got in, he sighed. “Actually, I think I might. I don’t want to go back to Jesse’s right now. I’m not sure whose house they’re going back to. But if it’s Jesse’s, that’s the last place I want to be.”

  Jesse and Betsy had just emerged from the building. Luke started his truck and pulled out of the lot in the opposite direction. He was quiet the whole drive back to Quinn’s. She decided to give him some space so she remained quiet as well.

  When they were back at her house, getting settled in, she offered him a beer. He declined, saying he’d already had enough for the evening.

  “How about some cocoa,” Quinn offered. Homemade hot cocoa had always comforted her and if anyone needed comforting, it was Luke right then. “It’s freezing out and I’d really like a cup. Would you drink one, if I made it?”

  He agreed and he stood by watching as Quinn set about making homemade cocoa. The actions were so mundane, so normal, that it gave Luke a little more time to calm down. While she was stirring it, she chatted with Luke about her job search. She’d just recently decided she should start looking. She wasn’t having a lot of luck, jobs were limited. So far, she wasn’t concerned. She wasn’t in any hurry.

  Luke listened intently and she was relieved that her prattling took his mind off of the conversation from earlier. Or, at least, she thought it had.

  By the time the cocoa was made and they were curled up on Quinn’s couch, his mood had improved considerably.

  “You know, Betsy is right,” he said, proving to Quinn she’d been wrong. Though he had been listening to what she had to say, it was evident that events from earlier were still very much on his mind.

  Quinn’s eyebrows bunched and she shook her head. “I very much doubt that. Luke—”

  He held up a hand to stop her. “I didn’t mean all of it. But she’s right. I should be looking at houses. I can’t stay with Jesse forever. I appreciate that he’s let me be there this long but it really is time I move on.”

  “Okay,” she agreed. “As long as you’re not doing it because Betsy is pressuring you.”

  He shook his head. “No. I need to.” He paused and Quinn waited patiently, sure he had something else to say. “The house I told you about last fall, it’s still available. Is there any chance you’d maybe want to look at it with me?”

  A smile immediately spread across her face, her heart took a few crazy beats in her chest. “I would love to.”

  He finished his drink and then set the mug down on the coffee table. He turned to face her. “I know that under normal circumstances, us only dating a few months, this would seem too soon. But dating is usually the time when people get to know each other. When they decide if they can tolerate each other. Or if they can love each other. But I’ve known you for as long as I can remember. I’ve loved everything about you for as long as I can remember. I don’t think we could know each other any better if we’d been dating for years. Do you feel that way too?”

  “Yes,” Quinn said with a nod. “I know exactly what you’re saying. I think I know you better than I know anyone else. Except maybe Carly,” she said with a small smile. “And you know me too.”

  “Exactly,” Luke agreed. “Quinn, you know I love you.”

  She
nodded slowly.

  He took her hands in his. “I don’t want this, I mean us, to end. I lost you once and I swore to myself that if I ever got the chance, I wasn’t going to let that happen again. Even though I hate that Jake’s not here, that doesn’t change how I feel about you. I guess that’s why I want you to take a look at the house.” The words had gushed out and he took a breath to recover. “Even though I think it’s too soon to put a ring on your finger, I want you to know that I plan to someday.”

  A smile tugged at her lips. This was the first time they’d had a conversation of this sort.

  “I mean, if you’re agreeable,” Luke amended.

  Her smile broke completely free. “I think I would be. You know, someday.”

  “That’s why it’s so important to me that you like the house. I don’t want to jump into it, buy it if it’s something you don’t think you can live with. Maybe you’ll hate the floor plan or the color of the siding or something,” he said with a shrug. “I don’t want that.”

  “I’d love to look at it,” she said. For just a moment she thought of telling him he could move in with her. It would make sense in a lot of ways. Yet, Betsy’s words still echoed in her head. She was sure they were even louder in Luke’s.

  He looked relieved. “Good. I mean, now when we don’t go out we always end up here. I’d like us to have somewhere that’s ours. Not…yours and Jake’s. And that’s not just because of what Betsy said. It’s because it’s true. This was your house and I mean, it’s a great house. But it was for the two of you.”

  “Does it bother you? Being here?” she wondered. He’d never said anything. She was suddenly glad that she hadn’t shared her thoughts from earlier. If it did bother him just spending time here, moving in would definitely not be an option.

  He shrugged. “Maybe not as much as it should. I’m just happy to be with you wherever you are. But I’d be even happier if we had a place of our own.”

  10

  “Are you sure you’re not just saying that?” Luke demanded. He shot a glance across the cab of his truck, his gaze landing in his passenger seat.