Chat Love

by Justine Faeth

  Mike laughs. “It is, most of the time.” He winks. “Speaking of adorable children, how is Gabriella doing? Isn’t she pregnant?”

  His memory surprises me. “You remember my sister’s name?” I ask.

  He leans in close to me. “Of course I do; I remember everything that you say.”

  I move forward and kiss his lips, and we lock in an embrace, exploring one another for the first time. When the waiter arrives, coughing nervously, we part and Mike begins to recite our order. Meanwhile, I’m left in a state of confusion. I had been expecting to feel some sort of spark, tingle, or chemistry from the kiss, but I’d felt absolutely nothing. Nervousness could have had something to do with it, but I can’t help but wonder if it might be a sign that Mike and I aren’t actually meant to be.

  After my initial wave of doubt, things continue to grow more awkward between the two of us. He holds my hand, but it feels forced, and I’m having trouble being convincing with my affection. Our conversation begins to lose momentum, and I soon find myself discussing mundane topics like the weather. I begin to wonder if Mike had also been disappointed by the kiss; maybe that was for the best. While we’re eating our entrees, Mike suggests that we go to a movie after dinner.

  “I’m even willing to sit through a girly, romantic movie, just for you.” He winks, taking another bite of his chicken.

  Maybe a romantic movie will help us to relax. I think, nodding my head and taking in another forkful of my salad.

  “Are you a big fan of chick-flicks?” I jokingly ask.

  He chuckles and answers, “How else do you expect me to get a woman to fall for me?”

  After that, things are back to normal. It’s as if someone had flipped off a light switch and then suddenly turned it back on again. We’re back to joking and talking openly, and I’m afraid I’ll wet my pants from laughing so hard. By the time our dessert arrives, he’s in the middle of a story about how he accidentally kissed a woman while drunk at a wedding, only to later find out that she was one of his distant cousins. I can barely catch my breath, and I can feel my face flushing as I continue giggling.

  “How did you not know she was your cousin?” I gasp between chuckles.

  “Well, the last time we’d seen each other was when we were four, and she looked different. People change a lot in twenty years.”

  I finally stop laughing and finish my half of the dessert, and we leave the restaurant. Mike hails a cab and holds the door open for me, giving the driver the address of a nearby movie theater. We make it just in time, and take our seats at the back of the theater. The movie is incredibly cheesy, and is too romantic for even my tastes. Mike takes every opportunity to hold my hand or place his arm around my shoulder, but I still don’t feel any electricity between us. After the movie, he walks me home and we kiss one more time. Still, I feel nothing. I begin to wonder if Jackson has ruined romance for me.

  Chapter 20

  Today Skyler is getting married, and I am attending her wedding alone. Although I could have asked Mike to be my date, I’d decided that it would be better to just come alone. I didn’t want to lead him on, after all. Many of my coworkers will also be at the ceremony, so I know that I’ll have friends to talk to. Because I know that Jackson will be there—most likely with a date—I take the time to have my hair and makeup done at a salon. I’m wearing a brand-new dress from Nieman Marcus, and I exit the salon feeling beautiful, confident, and ready.

  I hail a cab and give the driver directions to the wedding. During the ride, I imagine what Jackson will look like dressed in a suit. I’ve only ever seen him in slacks, so I’m interested to see him wearing something a little nicer. Skyler and Dave are getting married at The Lighthouse at Chelsea Piers, one of the most beautiful places in the city. Skyler is a very lucky woman, as she’s getting married to a wonderful man on an absolutely gorgeous day. The weather is sunny and mild, and I know that her ceremony will be beautiful and sophisticated. I guess some people really do have better luck than others. Knowing my luck, Manhattan would experience its first major earthquake in the middle of my wedding ceremony.

  As we pull up to the venue, I sit in the taxi, my nerves tensing. I’m not sure how to act around Jackson, and I’m nervous about the possibility of alcohol being served, considering that alcohol is usually to blame for the majority of our problems. I take a deep breath and pay the driver, thanking him for his speedy service.

  As I walk into the dining room where the reception will be my jaw drops. The large room is filled with tables covered in red, yellow, and orange flowers, making the room feel warm and welcoming. There are candles scattered everywhere, covering the room in a romantic glow. In the middle of the room is the dance floor where Skyler and Dave will soon be sharing their first steps as a married couple. However, every beautiful detail is dwarfed by the spectacular view provided by the floor-to-ceiling windows lining the walls; outside, the Hudson flows peacefully, framing the city skyline.

  An employee politely guides me toward the chapel and as I enter, my jaw drops once again. Rows of chairs, each adorned with a white cushion, line the sides of the center aisle. A lovely collection of flowers frame both the aisle and altar, and the room gives off a feeling of peaceful joy. So far, everything reminds me of what you would expect to see in a magazine covering a celebrity’s wedding, and my excitement is increasing.

  I see a flash and turn my head to see a photographer taking pictures of the guests as they arrive. I move in the opposite direction, trying to avoid having my picture taken. I turn my back and survey the rows of chairs, trying to decide where I should sit.

  “So where are we sitting?” asks a familiar sultry voice. I turn around and look at Jackson, impressed by his formal attire. I smile when I notice that his hair is still disheveled and messy, even though he is very nicely dressed in a black suit and thin tie.

  “OK, you two, smile for me,” We both turn in the direction of the voice and see the photographer holding up his camera, flashing a big grin.I sigh and Jackson wraps his arm around my waist as we smile for the picture. “Beautiful. You two make a stunning couple,” says the photographer. I want to correct him, but he is already walking away, chasing after another pair of potential victims.

  “I agree,” Jackson says in his deep voice, “you do look beautiful.”

  I look past his shoulder, trying to identify his perfect date. I see many women, but they all appear to have a man at their side. After a few frustrating moments, I grow tired of looking and turn back to Jackson.

  “So where is she?” I ask, trying my best to appear as though I don’t care.

  He cocks one eyebrow in a confused expression. “Skyler? I’d guess that she’s probably getting ready to walk down the aisle.”

  I groan and roll my eyes. “No, you idiot. Where is your date?”

  His lips curl upward into a small smirk. “My date?” he asks.

  “I just assumed that you’d be bringing a date. Most people do, and knowing you, I figured you’d find some woman to drag along.”

  His eyes widen. “Did you bring a date?”

  I laugh dryly. “Does it look like I have a date? I haven’t met any invisible men lately, so I think that I’ll be going stag tonight.”

  He gives me another grin and takes a step closer to me. “Well, it appears that you are stuck with me for the evening.” He gallantly holds out his arm, puffing out his chest in mock-chivalry.

  I take his arm and look up at his face. He smiles down at me, making eye contact. “I would just like to remind you that you are incredibly lucky to be stuck with me, tonight, Mr. Foster.”

  He chuckles and leans in closer, planting the lightest of kisses on my neck. “Who said that I don’t feel lucky to be here, Lucia?” I shiver and he chuckles, his breath tickling my neck. As usual, our moment is interrupted by the familiar whine of Caitlin.

  “Hi, Jackson,” she chirps.

  We turn to face her, and my eyes grow wide when I see what she is wearing. Her hair is loosely curled
, and her face is painted with thick, dramatic makeup. She is wrapped in a tight little dress that barely covers her rear, and I notice a pair of tall, silver heels on her feet. She is dressed like a high-end stripper, and I can’t help but roll my eyes when Jackson actually pays her attention.

  “Jackson, you look absolutely devilish,” she says with a wicked grin, lightly trailing her finger down his arm. “Oh, and good news: we’re sitting at the same table,” she fishes two place cards out of her purse; I’m surprised she doesn’t pull them out of her bra.

  Jackson nods and glances down at her exposed cleavage. I want to punch him in the face, but I decide to maintain composure by wandering off to find my place card. I pray that Skyler was kind enough to seat me somewhere other than at the singles’ table. More guests are arriving, and I slowly make my way through the growing crowd.

  I spot the table holding the place cards and begin walking in its direction. I stop in my tracks when I see Tim, Dave’s coworker whom I dated for a few months, talking to a beautiful redhead, his arm around her waist. At this point, I’m not in the mood to talk to him so I turn, trying to sneak away. I have no choice but to turn around when I hear him calling my name. As I make eye contact, he and his date smile, and Tim flashes his big, white teeth.

  I haven’t seen him since our last date, and he looks different. His hair is shorter, and he’s glowing, obviously happy. He looks dashing in his tuxedo.

  “How have you been, Lucia? You look beautiful,” he says, offering a friendly smile.

  I smile politely. “I’m doing well, thank you. You look as though you are, too,” I comment, nodding in the direction of his date.

  Tim’s grasp on the woman tightens. “Of course, forgive me for not introducing you two. This is my fiancée, Karen.” Of course, it all makes sense; Karen was the name of the ex that he’d still been harboring feelings for when we’d gone out awhile back.

  The woman smiles at me and offers her hand politely. “It’s nice to meet you,” she says, shaking my hand.

  After a few moments of cordial small talk, I excuse myself and continue over to the table to collect my place card. I tuck the card into my purse and walk into the chapel, spotting Jackson sharing a row with Caitlin. She is talking animatedly, but he appears to be ignoring most of what she’s saying. He turns around and our eyes meet, and he stands up and motions for me to come and sit next to him. Not wanting to sit alone, I decide that Jackson is better than nobody and make my way over to the empty chair. Caitlin continues to prattle on, and the pitch of her voice gives me a headache. I close my eyes, attempting to drown out her whine.

  After a moment, I feel Jackson place his hand on my knee, squeezing gently. I look up and he flashes a grin, ignoring Caitlin completely.

  He leans in close to me and whispers, “Where are you sitting?”

  I show him my place card and he smiles, pulling his card out of his pocket to reveal that we have been assigned the same table.

  Once again, our moment is interrupted as I feel someone take the seat beside me. I turn and see Karen giving me a shy smile.

  “I hope you don’t mind, but I don’t really know anyone here except you and Tim, and I didn’t really have anybody to sit with,” she blushes a bit.

  I wave my hand and smile. “No problem at all! I like your dress.”

  She looks down at her dress and then back at me, her smile growing. “Thanks. I like yours, too.” Karen is wearing a long, pleated gown of green chiffon that contrasts with her red hair perfectly.

  Before the ceremony begins, Karen and I make small talk, discussing our jobs and her wedding plans. She politely asks me for my number, explaining that she’d love to have lunch one day. I feel Jackson staring at the back of my head the entire time, and it makes me uncomfortable.

  Finally, Dave and his groomsmen come out and line up near the altar. Tim winks at Karen and she blows him a kiss. The ceremony begins and the crowd watches the aisle, smiling as the bridesmaids file in, sporting coral-colored dresses. A tiny flower girl waddles after them, and the crowd giggles as her chubby little hands throw fistfuls of clumped petals.

  The music grows louder, signaling the approach of the bride. We all rise, ready to watch Skyler’s grand entrance. My breath catches in my throat when I see her approaching the aisle, holding her father’s hand. Her ivory gown is stunning, and she resembles a princess as she begins to make her way down the aisle. She’s wearing light makeup, and her hair is in a neat bun, complementing her natural beauty. She is smiling and staring at Dave, her eyes already brimming with tears. I can see her bouquet of red roses trembling ever so slightly, and I know that she must be nervous.

  I turn toward the altar and see Dave wiping tears from his eyes, a spectacular grin on his face. In that moment, I finally understand what Skyler was always talking about, as I see their love for one another shining brightly.

  During the ceremony, I try my best not to cry. Still, I eventually feel a lone tear escaping, and as I reach to wipe it away, Jackson’s thumb catches it instead. I turn to see him staring at me with concern. I feel someone pressing something soft into my hand, and I look down to see Karen handing me a tissue.

  “I always cry at weddings,” she whispers, dabbing her eyes. “For some reason, I cry more at weddings than I do at funerals.” She smiles and we share a moment of silent laughter, both overcome by emotions. I turn back to Jackson and see him watching the ceremony intently as Dave and Skyler recite their vows.

  After the beautiful ceremony, everyone is guided into another beautifully-decorated room for cocktails. The room is decorated in the same style as the reception hall, including flowers, candles, and pictures of the newlywed couple from various points in their relationship.

  As I sip a glass of champagne, I stand near a window, taking in the view of the city. Jackson is off talking to Patrick and Caitlin, but I continue to catch him staring at me, and I feel an urge to kiss him again.

  After the cocktail hour ends, we are taken into the reception hall and led to our assigned tables. Jackson, Caitlin, and I are sitting at a table reserved for Skyler’s coworkers, and I am pleasantly surprised to see Jackson saving me a seat by his side. As soon as everyone quiets, the band announces the couple’s arrival, leading them in with a joyful fanfare. The pair makes their way to the center of the dance floor, and the band begins playing Etta James’s hit, “At Last.” They embrace and begin to dance as the crowd looks on happily.

  A minute or two passes before the band announces an open dance floor, encouraging other couples to join the newlyweds. I watch several couples rise and walk to the floor, and I smile when I catch a glimpse of Skyler; I’ve never seen her look so happy.

  “Jackson, do you want to dance?” Caitlin asks, squeezing his bicep. I do my best to ignore her voice, continuing to look away in the direction of Dave and Skyler.

  “Lucia?” Jackson asks. I turn to face him, wondering what he wants.

  “What?” I ask, not exactly thrilled about the idea of being the only person left at our table once everyone has gone to dance.

  “Would you like to dance with me?” he asks. Surprised, I raise my eyebrows and look past his shoulder to see Caitlin glaring at me. I look back at Jackson and see him nervously running his fingers through his hair. Taking my silence the wrong way, he quickly says, “I’m sorry; forget I even asked.”

  I quickly place my hand on his leg and answer his question. “Jackson, of course I would like to dance with you.”

  His eyes light up and he grabs my hand, helping me to my feet and leading me out to the floor. He gingerly places his hands on my waist as I wrap my arms around his neck, and we begin slowing moving to the rhythm of the music, our eyes locked. I feel the warmth of his hands on my waist, and I take a small step closer to him. He gives me a grin and squeezes my waist gently. I turn and see Skyler staring at us, a massive grin on her face; she winks at me and turns back to Dave.

  Jackson and I remain silent as we dance, just enjoying being close to one
another.

  As the song ends I reluctantly remove my arms from around his neck, but he maintains his grip on my waist.

  “Let’s dance some more,” he says.

  The band begins playing Ray Charles’s, “Come Rain or Come Shine” and I nod my head weakly, replacing my hands. He pulls me closer to his body, his hands on my back, and I rest my head on his shoulder and close my eyes. I feel secure in his arms.

  I open my eyes and look around the candlelit room.

  “This place is beautiful,” I whisper, feeling him tense at my words. I lift my head and notice that he is clenching his jaw. His eyes reveal a note of sadness, and I ask, “What’s wrong?”

  He takes my hand and holds it against his chest. “Lisa and I were supposed to get married around this time, and it’s just weird to see what it could have been like.”

  “I’m sorry, Jackson, I didn’t realize that it was so recent.”

  He leans in closer to me, shushing me. “Don’t apologize; it’s not your fault that Lisa was a bitch.” He pulls back and gives me a smile. “It was a few years ago, so I think that it’s time to move on, don’t you?”

  I lay my head back down on his shoulder. “Sure.” I lift my head again. “Jackson?” I say nervously. He looks down at me with a smile. “I know it can be hard to move beyond the past, but I promise that it feels wonderful once you do.”

  Jackson smiles and kisses my forehead lightly. He twirls me around, making me dizzy, and then pulls me back to his chest. I giggle and rest my head on his shoulder again.

  “Have you been able to get over your ex-boyfriends? I remember a few conversations where you seemed like you might still be burning a candle for a few of them.”

  I pull back to give him a clear view of my face. “If I hadn’t moved on, I wouldn’t be dating anyone. I don’t miss any one of them in particular, as much as I just miss the feeling of caring strongly for someone.”

  Jackson raises an eyebrow. “You know, some people think that love is overrated.”