One is Come

by C. H. MacLean

  Chapter 4

  Talk

  “Haylwen Dearfale, suspension is not a vacation.” Haylwen groaned silently at her mother's nagging, abandoning her drawing to stare somewhere near the homework in front of her. That's the millionth time I've heard that, she thought, and it isn’t even lunchtime. Why doesn't she just talk to me and get it over with? Haylwen couldn’t decide if her mother thought of her as a prisoner under guard or a baby in time-out. Either was insulting, and Haylwen tried to sneak a glare at her mother.

  Her mother caught her glaring, suddenly stopped puttering, and sat down at the table across from her. “Well, if you are not going to do your schoolwork, we need to talk.” Uh oh, here it comes, finally. Haylwen clenched her teeth and set her face. “So, what happened yesterday?” Her mother waited, her hands folded neatly in front of her. She sat straight up, properly, on her chair. Her mother was always proper.

  Haylwen looked up from her textbook and fell into her mother's blue-gray eyes. She explained how she and her friends were just talking between classes, and how she was trying to fit in, and one thing led to another, and then there was a fire. She didn’t mean to say so much, or so fast, and her notions of making up a plausible, but fabricated, story slipped away. Her mother only interrupted once, to ask Amanda and Kim’s last names for some odd reason. That must be it, there was something about her mother just sitting there looking at her that had the words pouring out of her mouth. It felt kinda good, though. Right up to the point where she mentioned her period.

  “Your what?” Her mother’s eyes went from calm to knife-like instantly.

  Haylwen slumped further in her chair and could see why her father had lost so many arguments. “Um, my period? I got my period yesterday, and I asked Kim if she had something and she just gave me her bag, which had a lighter…”

  “Lighter?” Her mother’s unwavering gaze pinned the word to Haylwen.

  Haylwen cringed. Kim’s purse did have a lighter, but Haylwen hadn’t meant to mention it. She was trying to show how Kim was helping her and it just slipped out somehow. In fact, she still felt like talking, like telling her mother her theory that Kim and Amanda had set her up somehow. She struggled against the urge to take the easy way out and just blame them. It was the most logical explanation. But it wasn’t true, or at least it wasn’t what she wanted! She felt her anger rising, felt the usual tenseness as she started to suppress it.

  “So it was one of them!” her mother nodded. “Well, your father and I will take care of this. We’ll just handle them.”

  Something in Haylwen let go. Maybe something broke, or maybe she just stopped caring. Maybe it was the fact that her mother just glossed over the fact that she had finally gotten her very first period without even a word! She sat up and looked her mother right in the eye, interrupting loudly. “No, we won’t! They are my friends! I don’t know who started the fire! Amanda was teasing me about my period, my first period, Mother, and the wall behind her just exploded on fire! I don’t know how, just like I said! Kim was the only one who cared that I had to wear a sweatshirt around my waist and had to go to the nurse for history class and had wet pants for the rest of the day and probably smelled!” For the first time, she yelled and glared right back at her mother. Kim was going to be her friend, never mind the fact that at first she was teasing her as badly as Amanda. She really was nice, when Amanda wasn’t around, most of the time. It didn’t matter, though—Kim would never be her friend if Haylwen’s mom did anything.

  They sat there for a moment, eye to eye. Haylwen could feel her mother’s temper through her stare, but didn’t care. Her own anger mixed with all the horrible circumstances over the past day, growing with each heartbeat. All at once, it burst into flames inside her. She felt the fire ignite other hurts she thought were long forgotten, and poured it all out of her eyes. What did her mother know about being a freak, she yelled in her head, the only girl without her period? What did she even know about anything! She should talk!

  For the first time that Haylwen could remember, her mother looked away. Haylwen blinked, astonishment stealing some of her anger away. She had never seen her mother lose a staring contest, not even with her father. Not ever.

  “Well, that’s something, isn’t it?” her mother said. Haylwen blinked again as her mother started talking like a faucet turned on full. “Your first period, you said? I thought you had, well, never mind, that’s big stuff. Both your grandmother and I were late bloomers too, as far as that goes. Gran never cared, but it wasn't so late when she was a girl. When I got mine I was your age, last of the girls just like you, and even I got some teasing for it. It runs in the family, like rebelliousness and a temper. You got that from both your father and me though. Boy, did our rebelliousness cause problems.” She paused to take a breath, tried to cover her mouth to stop talking, and failed. “Yes, we had problems. I remember how everyone would whisper behind my back, thinking I didn’t know. I knew, but it just made seeing him better.” Haylwen's eyebrows could climb no further as she watched as her mother just kept talking through her hands. “The period is a hassle, though. Wait, do you need me to get you pads? I have some, but you might want your own. Do you want me to call your father and have him pick some up? I know this is a big deal. I just don’t want you to have the same problems I did. If I could have done things differently…” She stopped abruptly, with an odd look on her face. In an instant, her hands fell back to her lap and she was in complete control again.

  Haylwen gave up trying to figure out what just happened. “What? Dad? No, please, I mean, yes, I need some… You don’t have to tell dad, right? Oh, please don’t tell Cadarn!”

  Her mother looked at her, her eyes soft and vulnerable. “They are going to find out soon enough, dear.” She held up her hands to stop Haylwen's protest. “No, I won’t tell, and I will go get you some pads today.” She paused for a moment, then said softly, “Do you have any questions? I know we talked about menstruating, but it has been a while…”

  “No! I mean, no thanks, Mom, but it’s no big deal.” She kept her eyes on her mother, who looked away. Odd, she thought, the talk of the fire and punishment just seemed to be forgotten. Should I push to make sure there wasn't going to be any other punishment? Her mother suddenly got up and bustled around, asking about her pants for the wash, and gathering her purse. She was going to go right now? What about the punishment? Did she forget?

  Her mother was out the door before Haylwen remembered her plan to prevent them from moving. She had some time before her father dragged them off, she'd have time to try again later. That was the most her mother had ever talked about her past, maybe her mother was feeling especially lonely. If her mother and father both forgot about the “punishment,” she could talk to her mother tomorrow or the next day. With her mother “hanging out” while she was suspended, there would be a lot of time to say how much she liked it here, how nice the teachers were, how great of an influence Kim was, stuff like that. She had a strange feeling her mother would agree. Maybe this suspension was a good thing.