Cardinal

by Sara Mack

“What is that?” Latson asks.

  “The party just started.” I roll my eyes. “Dean and the guys got excited about the space, so they invited everyone to our room tonight.” To be honest I’d rather curl up in the magnificent bed that’s calling my name. “Did you know penthouses can have six bathrooms? And three bedrooms? I still have to share with Roxanne, but whatever. At least the guys get to spread out.”

  “I’m not worried about the guys,” Latson mutters.

  I won’t let that comment slide. “What’s wrong?” I sink down on to the bed and pull one leg beneath me. “You know, when I found out we’d been upgraded, I thought you did it. I thought maybe you would be waiting to surprise me.”

  He doesn’t respond so I add, “I miss you.”

  “I miss you, too,” he says. “I’m working on next month’s schedule for Torque and booking the entertainment. Once everything is confirmed you’ll probably see me.”

  “Probably?”

  “You’ll definitely see me.”

  Suddenly, the bedroom door flies open. Ariel shuts it behind her in a rush and leans against it. “There you are. I need your help.”

  I’m confused and my face shows it. Latson asks, “Is someone there?”

  “Just Ariel,” I say. Leaning away from the phone I ask, “What’s up?”

  She makes a zipper motion across her lips and gestures for me to end the call.

  “Uh … I gotta go,” I stutter.

  “Why?” Latson asks.

  Ariel hurries past me and toward the bathroom. “I’m not sure,” I whisper. “Ariel probably wants to talk.” I told him about last night’s conversation on the bus. “I’ll call you in the morning, okay?” Now that we’re in the same time zone it makes things a little easier.

  “Okay,” he says, uncertain. “But, Jen …”

  “Hmm?”

  “Be careful. I don’t like knowing there’s a bunch of strangers hanging out in your room. Penthouse or no penthouse.”

  “Yes, boss,” I say playfully. “Sweet dreams.”

  “Only if they’re of you.”

  I end the call and walk over to stand in the bathroom doorway. Ariel is leaning against the counter, fidgeting. “Are you all right?”

  She shakes her head no, then lifts her shirt. A box is tucked into the waistline of her pants. She pulls it out and shows it to me. “I can’t do this by myself.”

  My eyes consume my face. It’s a pregnancy test. “Are you sure?”

  “Of course not.” Her expression twists. “That’s kinda the point of taking the test.”

  I step toward her. “What I meant was, it’s a possibility?”

  She scowls at the box in her hands. “Unfortunately, yes. For the record, Zach, one of my dancers, is not gay.”

  I close my eyes for a second and then reopen them. “You had unprotected sex because you thought the guy was gay?”

  “No! I didn’t think we’d end up sleeping together because I thought he was gay!”

  She’s flustered, so I walk further into the bathroom and shut the door. “Are you late?”

  “Ten days.” She bites her bottom lip. “I’ve also felt off. Emotional and exhausted.”

  “You could just be stressed,” I say. “Traveling and performing aren’t easy.” I reach for the box and she hands it over. I read the directions. “You have to pee on the stick and wait three minutes. It doesn’t sound complicated.”

  “No,” she says. “The complicated part comes after.”

  I give her a resigned smile, and she takes a deep breath. “Okay. Let me do this and then I’ll need you to hold my hand.”

  I give her the test. “Good luck.”

  Her face falls. “Thanks.”

  I leave the bathroom and head to the bed to wait. I can’t believe Ariel might be pregnant. I also can’t believe she feels close enough to share this with me. There’s no way she can jump around on stage and fit into a cat suit with a belly. My mind recalls our conversation from last night; this is probably what she meant when she said she needed to grow as a person. She could potentially be a mother.

  Ariel looks pale when she opens the door. “Three minutes?”

  I grab my phone. “I’m setting the timer now.”

  She makes her way over to me and sits down. “Thank you. I had to tell someone. It was killing me.” I offer her my hand and she takes it. “I couldn’t say anything to my team. Not yet. If I’m …” She hesitates to say the word and sighs. “Changes will have to be made.”

  We sit in silence as the music from the party pumps through the walls. I glance at my phone as the timer ticks down slowly. My stomach starts to knot for her and for us. Dean’s put so much stock into playing; he’ll be crushed if he has to cut things short.

  Squeezing her hand, I ask, “How does that work?”

  “What?”

  “The changes.”

  She frowns. “There’s a clause in my contract about medical conditions. Shows can be delayed or postponed, or, in the worst case, canceled.” Her shoulders sag. “I’d hate to do that to the fans. Or the crew. People depend on getting paid for this tour.”

  I never realized that such a huge responsibility was placed on a headlining act. “So, you’ll keep it?” I ask. “Not that it’s any of my business.”

  “I kind of made it your business.” Ariel looks down at her lap. “I don’t know. It’s easy to think you’ll do something a certain way until you’re confronted with it.” Her eyes meet mine. “What would you do?”

  “Me?” I haven’t put much thought into it because I’m always careful. “I guess it would depend on my situation. If I could financially support a baby, and if the father wanted to be involved, for example.”

  She gives me a tiny smile. “Well, if you slip up with Gunnar, you know you’re covered. He’s been dedicated to his nephew since the day Oliver was born. It’s part of why we broke up.”

  I never questioned their reasons. “Really?”

  “Call me selfish, but I didn’t feel like I could compete after he won custody and moved away. He was wrapped up in starting a new life, and I couldn’t give him the time or attention he deserved. We agreed it would be best to call it quits.”

  At least she admits she was partly to blame.

  Ariel leans over to check the remaining time on my phone. “Who would have thought one drunk night would lead to this?” She pauses. “Never mind. That was a stupid question. The probability is actually quite high.”

  Before I can agree with her, the timer goes off. We look at each other and she lets go of my hand. “Here goes nothing.”

  She straightens her spine as she walks away, and I stand in anticipation. When she disappears through the bathroom door, I start to pace. I feel bad for her. She made a bad decision, yes, but so did Zach. I silently wonder if he’s going to be supportive, or if he’s going to ditch her like Levi did Audrey.

  When Ariel doesn’t reappear after a minute, I go find her. It doesn’t take that long to read one pink line or two. Peeking around the corner, I can tell by her expression what the outcome is without asking.

  “Congratulations,” I whisper.

  She gives me a sad smile before a tear rolls down her cheek.

  ~~~~

  All I want is a bottle of water, I think as I weave my way around bodies. It’s been almost an hour since Ariel learned she was expecting and left the party. She said she was going to find Zach and break the news, so I decided to find the guys and make sure they were living it up. Little do they know all of this could come to an abrupt end, depending on how Ariel feels and what she decides to do.

  “Excuse me. Pardon me. Sorry,” I say as I finally make it to the wet bar. Some random guy is behind it, having dubbed himself honorary bartender. “Can I get a bottle of water please?”

  “One water comin’ up,” he says and flips a bottle behind his back and over his shoulder. He catches it and presents it to me.

  “Thanks,” I say.

  “Aww. Look, girls. The bi
tch is trying to come off as Snow White.”

  My body tenses at the sound of Heidi’s voice. Slowly, I turn around and find her standing with her friends. “Well. If it isn’t the old hag here to hand out more poison.”

  Her narrowed eyes bounce between me and the water. “Do you think you’re above us?”

  “No. I think I’m thirsty.”

  “Thirsty for Dean, maybe,” one of her lackeys snipes.

  Is she serious? “Oh, honey,” I take a step toward her, “I wouldn’t go there if I were you. Heidi knows there’s only one man I’m thirsty for. Right, Heids?”

  She doesn’t like my cutesy nickname, and she crosses her arms. “Then how come we just saw you come out of Dean’s room?”

  My forehead pinches. Is she high? I look over my shoulder, in the direction I just came from. “Do you mean back there?” I point. “That’s my room. Get your facts straight, sweetheart.”

  I refuse to interact with stupid, so I leave. I swear Heidi has nothing better to do than make assumptions about me. She should take a hint from Mean Girls and back the hell off. She could get hit by a bus.

  A tour bus, to be exact.

  Spying the sliding glass doors, I decide to make my way to the balcony for some fresh air. Just as I squeeze past the last few people in my way, I hear, “Hey. I’ve been looking for you.” A hand grazes my elbow, and I turn to see a certain record executive smiling at me.

  “Caleb? What are you doing here?”

  He ushers me to the side, then leans against the wall. “I’m keeping an eye on my interests. How have you been?”

  I can’t help my skeptical look. “Things are good.” What else can I say?

  “Do you like the penthouse?”

  I glance around. “It’s nice. I’d enjoy it more without all these people, though.”

  He laughs. “Well, at least you have tomorrow and Houston.”

  “How do you know about Houston?”

  He gives me a self-deprecating smile and my eyes widen. “You upgraded us?”

  “Guilty.”

  Well, that was generous.

  “Listen, Jen.” Caleb shifts his weight. “I don’t know what Gunnar’s told you, but I want to make sure we’re okay. I don’t want any bad feelings between you and me. You’re a crucial piece of Dean’s band.”

  I’m confused. “And?”

  “And he could be part of the Snare Records family again. I want him to be comfortable in making that choice.”

  He can’t be serious. “Do you think I’m bad mouthing you to Dean?”

  He puts his hands in his pockets and shrugs. “I’d like to think you’re not.”

  I shake my head to clear it. I refuse to get involved in anything political. “You’re overestimating my part in this. Yes, Latson’s told me about your past, but I haven’t brought it up to Dean. Why would I? You cut him off back then just like you did Latson. He doesn’t need me to remind him.”

  “Precisely.” Caleb pushes his body away from the wall. “I think he’s moved on, and I’d like it to stay that way. The past needs to stay in the past. If you talk to Gunnar, tell him –”

  His thoughts are cut short when Dean approaches. “Hey, man. How’s it going?” He gives Dean a hearty slap on the shoulder. “Great show tonight, as always.”

  Dean grins. “I didn’t know you were there. Can I get you something to drink? A beer?” He notices me. “Jen! Do you need anything?”

  I notice the glaze in Dean’s eyes. He’s well on his way to having too much. “Nope. I’m good. Maybe you should put that bottle down and pick up one of these.” I hold up my water. “You don’t need a nasty hangover.”

  “You’re probably right.” Dean runs his hand through his hair. “It’s good to have a voice of reason around. Don’t you think, Caleb?”

  Caleb looks at me. “As long as the voice can be trusted.”

  I have to stop my mouth from falling open. He wants to talk about trust? Please.

  “Deeeean.”

  Oh, for the love of God.

  My eyes meet the ceiling as Heidi whines Dean’s name. She walks up behind him and hangs on his arm. “Can I borrow your cell? I left mine in my room by accident.”

  “Sure,” he says and pulls it from his pocket. “Take your time.”

  She slides it from his hand with a sly smile. “Thanks.” She gives him a quick peck on the cheek, and I inwardly cringe. I’m going to have to speak to this boy when he’s sober about the company he keeps.

  Dean and Caleb start to talk about tonight’s show, so I take the opportunity to disappear. I step around them and head to my original destination: the balcony. I find a spot between some people and lean against the railing to stare out over the city. A smile forms on my lips as I remember sitting on the fire escape and doing the same thing with Latson. I don’t know which direction I’m facing right now, but I pretend it’s east. I telepathically send my thoughts to him, letting him know I miss him and things are getting complicated here.

  I take my time and finish my water before heading back inside. The party is going strong, but I don’t feel the need to socialize. Ariel’s secret has me feeling a little melancholy, so I decided to find out if my bedroom door has a lock. I don’t need Caleb finding me again, or, God forbid, Heidi. There’s nothing more I can say to either of them that hasn’t already been said.

  When I reach my room and investigate the door handle, I smile when I see there is a lock. I twist it and shut the door; Roxanne will just have to knock when she wants in. I sit on the bed and lie back on the pillows; I would change my clothes but not while there’s a bunch of people here. Lock or no lock, no one needs to see me in my pj’s. My phone vibrates against the nightstand where I left it to charge, so I pick it up. Immediately, worry sets in. There are a ton of alerts – all from Latson. I click on the text messages first, even though there is voicemail, too.

  We need to talk. Where are you?

  I left you a message. Did you get it?

  Answer the phone please.

  Are you avoiding me? Call me as soon as you get this.

  What is going on? Quickly, I go to my voicemail. Latson sounds pissed:

  “Jen. I just talked to you. How could you not say anything? I had to find out from Dean? What the hell?”

  Then, twenty minutes later: “Damn it!”

  And then, seconds ago: “I’m sorry. I’m not mad. Just … call me.”

  My stomach sinks as my head spins. I jump off the bed and leave the room, bent on finding Dean. What could he have told Latson to upset him? I make my way around bodies, even pushing a few out of the way so I can see. I spot Dean near the center of the room; he’s still talking to Caleb. I march in his direction, then grab his arm without saying a word and pull him to the side.

  “What the –?” He frowns. “What’s the matter?”

  “What did you tell Latson?”

  He looks confused. “I didn’t tell him anything. Why?”

  “He’s pissed at me for something you said.” I let him listen to the message.

  Dean looks legitimately confused and pulls his phone out of his pocket. “I haven’t talked to him since early this morning.”

  I look at my phone and tap Latson’s number, then hold my breath as it rings in my ear. He answers almost immediately.

  “Jen.” He sounds defeated, even sad.

  “Hey.” I wrap my free arm around my waist. “I just got your messages. My phone was charging. What’s wrong?”

  He lets out an annoyed breath. “You’re still at the party? Really?”

  Damn the music. “Yes. Why does it matter?”

  “Because –” He stops talking and changes his tone. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Tell you what?”

  He’s silent for a moment before he asks, “Are you really going to play this game? Why can’t you be honest with me?”

  I’m so lost. I wish he’d just come out and say –

  Dean taps me on the shoulder. When I turn around,
he looks white as a ghost. He holds up his phone, so I can see the screen. It’s his text message thread with Latson, and the last thing sent is a picture. My breath catches when I realize what it is. It’s a picture of a positive pregnancy test followed by the words:

  Look what I found in your girlfriend’s bathroom. Congrats, Dad.

  Chapter Twenty Three

  “Heidi,” Dean and I say in unison.

  “What?” Latson’s voice sounds in my ear.

  I open my mouth to explain as Dean says, “I’m on it.” His eyes flash before he turns and walks away.

  “Jen? Are you there?”

  “Yes, I’m here.” I start to make my way back to my bedroom. “Let me get out of this noise.” I weave my way around bodies, and then shut the door behind me. “It’s not what you think,” I say when I’m alone. “I saw Dean’s phone. He didn’t send you that text.”

  “Then who did?”

  I get sarcastic. “The one and only Heidi.” God, that woman is a bitch. Not only did she invade my personal space, she involved Dean.

  “Are you telling me there isn’t a pregnancy test in your bathroom?” Latson sounds like he doesn’t believe me.

  “No, there is.” I start walking in that direction. “But it’s not mine.”

  He lets out a heavy sigh. “What is going on?”

  I flip the light switch and see the test on the counter, next to the sink where Ariel left it. I don’t feel right sharing her situation, but, then again, Latson knows she came to see me earlier. “Remember the last time we talked? Who interrupted us?”

  “Ariel. So?”

  “So?” I frown into the phone. “Put two and two together. The test isn’t mine. I’m not pregnant.”

  Latson’s silent, so I decide to elaborate. “Heidi and I … we got into it tonight. She must have snooped around my room. I was with Dean and Caleb when she asked to borrow Dean’s phone. I should have known she was up to something by the look on her face.” I pause, thinking about it. “I’m sure she thinks she caught me hiding a secret.” Well, I am hiding a secret. Just not my own.

  Latson still doesn’t say anything, and I start to feel uneasy. I wait a second or two before asking, “You believe me, right? You know there’s no way the test is mine. We’ve been safe every time.”