In the Stars
Page 20
“Is this a pre-confession of guilt?” Josh chuckles and shakes his head in mock consternation. He brushes an invisible fleck of dust off the shoulder of his black suit jacket and winks at me. “I’m not the Catholic Church, you can’t gain forgiveness for a crime you haven’t yet committed.”
My right foot bumps his leg under the table and I feel a charge of electricity. Enough with the inconsequential truths. It’s time to tell him the real reasons for this dinner. I rest back in my chair and stare at him steadily.
“The truth is I am in love with you and not just in a friends way. When you came to my hearing at the Law Society and stood beside me, I felt like no matter the outcome, everything would be fine. You took my hand when they read their final decision and you sent butterflies into my stomach in a way that a mere friend could never do. When you’ve been going on those dates with Julie, I’ve been sick to my stomach wishing I could turn back time and be the one going out with you. The truth is the insane jealousy that sprang up in my chest every time I thought of the two of you together made me finally understand that you are so much more to me than a best friend.”
My hands tremble on the tablecloth. Josh reaches across and silently takes them in his. His touch steadies me and I am positive this is right. How it took me so long, I’ll never know.
“The truth is you make me happy. You make me laugh. You help me out when I am down and have nowhere else to turn. You stand by me when I stupidly run across the country after an ex-boyfriend who is a complete idiot. You forgive me when I hurt you irrationally. You love me when I don’t deserve it. You put me ahead of your own thoughts and feelings. You are the person I want to impress most in the world. I crave your approval; I want to make you proud.”
The room is silent. Time stops. It’s just Josh and me.
“The truth is that over the past few months when you were first of all not in my life twenty-four/seven, I missed you so bad it hurt. Then when we started emailing and talking again, I realized that you absolutely mean more to me than anyone else in the world. You are the one who almost got away and I can’t allow that to happen. I cannot fathom an entire life without you. I need you. I want you. I love you.”
I finally stop my monologue. I have run out of things to say. Everything else I want to tell him cannot be put into words. Because sometimes words are not enough. I inch my chair around the circular table, one centimeter at a time. It scrapes slightly on the floor until I have maneuvered myself beside Josh.
“I love you,” I say once more and then lean forward.
I don’t know what to expect—fireworks and confetti maybe, but when our lips touch for the first time, it is a simple feeling that just feels right. We kiss gently. I know Josh, I know everything about him. But suddenly he is brand new. I am exploring him for the first time and my heart races. There is excitement and fear and joy as his arms come around me.
“What about your whole ‘friends can’t be lovers’ idea?” Josh asks. I can hear his heartbeat, steady and rhythmic, and I want to get lost in this moment forever.
“I’m an idiot. The best thing in the universe, I’ve finally discovered, is being madly in love with your best friend.” Telling the truth is easy when I’m telling it to him.
Josh makes a low noise in the back of his throat and his lips curl up. His eyes say that he likes what I just said. “You know how I don’t believe in destiny?” he murmurs, pulling away for a second. He brushes that annoying, flyaway strand of hair from my eyes and runs a finger down my cheek. My entire body is on pins and needles.
“Yeah?”
“I was wrong. This can’t be an accident, me and you. We were meant to be. It was in the stars.” His lips brush mine again and under the table his hands grab my own. “So, does this mean you are finally willing to go on a date with me? An actual date that isn’t platonic or interrupted with thoughts of other men?”
I sense that I am grinning idiotically. “I wouldn’t go that far.” He pokes me in the side and I wiggle a bit in my chair. “Okay, fine, maybe I’ll agree to that. Who am I to argue with destiny?”
He reaches for me and his soft lips close on my own. I close my eyes and get lost in the moment. I don’t know what the future holds, but at least I know this much. I’ll be okay as long as Josh is in my life. He is the only thing I need to be happy. He’s it. The one who almost got away.
A man is not where he lives, but where he loves.
—Latin Proverb
About the Author
Whitney Boyd was born and raised in Canada where she graduated in 2010 from the University of Calgary. She is currently working on her post-graduate degree and enjoys spending her free time with her husband and children. She loves warm weather, running and eating chocolate, sometimes all at once. Her other novels are Tanned, Toned and Totally Faking It and Iced Romance.