On Edge

by Gin Price

  “What are you talking about? No one is challenging you! I don’t think you’re—”

  “It’s not up to you to think,” Warp countered.

  I whipped my book bag at his shoulder, taking satisfaction in his stumble back. I could only hope I knocked some sense into him. “Haze doesn’t even know me! It’s not him.”

  Warp blinked at me, his color changing from red to purple like my father did when he thought someone was lying to him. “He knows you’re my sister!”

  “Like everyone else out of Kennedy!”

  “If not Haze, then who?” he asked between clenched teeth.

  Liv, too, looked at me with a curious tilt of her head.

  “I have no idea.”

  “You’re lying!”

  “Hey!” Liv jumped in, and I was relieved to lose Warp’s rage-filled focus as he turned his glare on her.

  “You have no idea if it’s Haze. You’re stabbing out there with a wild guess. It could be other members of his crew, or someone unrelated to them, with a crush on Ellie,” she defended, but her keen eyes frisked me for the truth. “I’m your best friend, and as far as I know, you’re not with anyone, are you?”

  I felt glad that I wasn’t going to have to lie. For all intents and purposes, as my father would say, I wasn’t technically “with” Haze. “I’m not with anyone! For all I know this is someone trying to start trouble. That guy Haze doesn’t strike me as the type to start a war or to waste his time painting me on the side of a pizzeria. Not even to get you mad, Warp.”

  “I’m going to find out who painted it,” he promised.

  “Knock yourself out.” I’d hoped he wouldn’t go too far in investigating.

  After Warp stormed away, Liv grabbed my arm and squeezed, staring hard into my gaze. “You’d tell me, right?”

  I could see the hurt, and I gave her a big hug. “You’re my best friend. Of course I’d tell you.”

  I was totally going to hell.

  ***

  Haze barely had time to jerk me into the closet before we were both running over each other.

  “What the hell is the matter with you? You paint me on the side of some pizza joint?”

  “Who was that with his arm around you on the corner of your street yesterday?”

  “What?” we both asked simultaneously.

  “Okay, you first.” Haze took a seat on the laundry sink again and I followed suit on my bucket. “What are you talking about?”

  I took out my phone and pulled up the photo, handing the cell to him. His eyes rounded and then narrowed.

  “That isn’t mine. I’ll take care of it, though.” He tossed my phone back to me.

  I caught it and took another look for myself. “I thought…it was you. Even though it’s not completely finished, it looks similar to the Heather one I saw you do. Warp thinks so, too.”

  He cussed softly.

  “Exactly.” I nodded. “Now he’s demanding to know about us, making assumptions it’s you trying to use me to start something with him.”

  “If he comes to me with it, I’ll tell him the truth. It wasn’t me.”

  “If he comes at you with this, you should run because I’m doubting reason is on his to-do list when talking to you.”

  His bottom lip bowed as he blew an annoyed sigh into the front of his hair. “I wouldn’t do something like this, LL. I wouldn’t jeopardize getting to know you better. Now, things are getting out of control.”

  I had a feeling he was about to back out and the thought made my heart race. I didn’t want to give this up. “I guess our closet-time-fun is over, hm?”

  The smile spreading across his face made me relax a little. He obviously thought I was a nub for saying such a thing. “I don’t care how hard it is on us. I’m in it. I dig you. More than I thought I would and I’m not going to let someone bully me out of what I want.”

  He hopped down from his perch and grabbed my hands, pulling me up to face him. I suddenly felt—silly. Like a little girl playing at being an adult when I didn’t know the first thing about the grown-up world. I’d thought, once I knew where Part A docked with Part B, I was in the know on relationships and the steps would come naturally. It suddenly dawned on me, in that moment, there was more than one Part A.

  “But,” he continued as I tried my hardest to hear over my erratic breathing, “…I don’t want you to think my decision should be yours, or that I’ll think badly of you if you wanna skip out on this. I know your brother makes your life difficult, and I’m making things worse. I don’t want that for you.”

  Men. Did they all know how to be romantic and take control in the same breath? I thought of Ander and the girls he used to bring around, back before he had scruples. Yup, all men. Even my saintly older brother.

  That damned Sneaky Gene was trying to manipulate the situation again and I wasn’t above beating it with a stick.

  “I’ll decide what works for me.” I informed him, but my agitation with his high-handedness didn’t bother me enough to pull my hands out of his. “You’re right that things will be a little harder, but I have to have faith that everything will work out. I don’t like hiding things but I guess I have to right now.”

  “We both do,” he reminded gently.

  “I wanted to tell Liv, but I’m not sure if she has much of a poker face. Besides, if we don’t really know for sure if we’re going to—um, be together—”

  When did the conversation turn into a bad episode of a nighttime soap opera?

  “Can we just do the wait-and-see thing?” I asked timidly.

  The award-winning smile was back, and with his nod I released the breath I held onto.

  Which turned out to be a happy accident.

  The moment I relaxed, he moved in, mouth first, capturing my lips in a kiss that literally made me dizzy enough to fall into him.

  He wrapped his arm around my waist to hold me steady and tilted his head to get a better angle on my mouth. I whimpered. I actually whimpered, which gave his kiss Redbull wings, and in he delved, tongue first.

  Whoa! I hadn’t meant to give him a blatant invitation, but after the initial shock wore off, I realized I was glad he took it as one.

  I folded my arms around his neck and pulled myself up to deepen the sweep of my tongue against his. Wow. Mouthwash, heat…and the purest energy I ever tasted. I lapped at it all, thirsty for this kiss to continue but after a minute or two, Haze eased away.

  Our puffy saturated mouths hovered near, sneaking in tiny kisses between excited breaths. How much time had passed? A minute? An hour?

  “Did the bell ring?”

  Haze gave a quick, preoccupied laugh and dropped his hands to my waist, pushing back until there was a little distance between us.

  “So, who was that guy you were with?”

  ***

  Haze looked at me as if I proposed he have dinner with a family of preachy Creationists.

  “I want you to teach me,” he said. “Not some guy who probably fantasizes about kicking my ass.”

  “Surge isn’t the type. He’s a nice guy. And I can’t go missing every night from the crew without my brother thinking much about it. A couple of nights I can say I’m practicing at the gym with the girls, but the other nights he expects me to be near him. Surge and I are known to go off on our own sometimes, and on those nights, we can hang with you.”

  His mouth tightened. “I hate that we can’t just…be.”

  I smiled. “I hate it, too, but until we can get a good handle on the situation, we’re doomed to play it safe for a little while.”

  “Do you see the situation, LL? Because where I’m standing, we’re wasting time on hoping anyone will understand us.”

  “When did you get pessimistic?” He shuffled his feet, obviously embarrassed by being called out on his sudden, negative nancy-ness. “If thi
ngs work out between us—”

  “I think I proved that they have.” He leered, seeming more like himself.

  I playfully slapped his arm. “If things work out between us,” I repeated, attempting to sound more stern, “then I’ll bring in the big guns and clear a way for us. We only need to wait for it.”

  “What do you mean ‘wait for it’?”

  “Because the big gun, in this case, is my big brother and he’s not due home for a while.”

  “And he’s going to do what?”

  Slipping out of Haze’s hold, I sat down on the bucket and peeked up at him. “Honestly? I’m hoping he’ll kick Warp’s ass back into reality. Or at least be able to bully him into admitting to whatever chip he has on his shoulder. And I’ll have him put pressure on Warp to accept us.”

  Haze looked doubtful. “I don’t know about that. I don’t feel comfortable having your big brother try and mesh out our shit.”

  “The other alternative is what? Violence? Will either of us be able to live with ourselves if one of our friends winds up on that hearted wall out there? I can’t take that chance, Bren.”

  He smiled, catching the fact I used his real name. In my opinion, certain situations demanded the use of it.

  “I know, Manu. Okay. First things first, though. I’ll find out who put your character up on the wall and I’ll buff it tonight.”

  “Why? I kinda wanna see it.”

  My enthusiasm seemed to bother him for some reason. “No, you don’t.”

  “I’m sure it will look cooler in person instead of on a cell.”

  “LL,” he said in all seriousness, “there are only two reasons why someone would throw up a piece of you—to either make a tribute or bring you down.”

  “Psh. Why would anyone wanna bring me down? Unless they’re on the gymnastics team.”

  “They may not be after you. They might be after your brother, and you by extension. He’s made a few writer enemies out there.”

  I tried not to get freaked out by what he was telling me, but the possibility couldn’t be denied.

  Still, if he was right, and this was an attempt to declare war, I wasn’t sure I could continue on. It was better to find other reasons.

  “I think you’re too worried about this,” I said. “Maybe it’s real simple, like someone trying to set you up, or out our relationship. The fact is, you don’t know.”

  “No one knows about us! The only one who saw us together is Decay, and his focus is nature. He’s not as ‘all city’ as he would need to be to make a piece like that. I dunno, I guess it’s possible he did some talking to the crew.” He sighed and reached down, cupping the side of my face. “You’re right. I don’t know what’s going on, but I’ll figure it out and make it gone. If your brother takes issue with you over this, let me know and I’ll meet with him.”

  How cute! He didn’t actually say “no one messes with my woman,” but I heard it anyway. And the cutest thing of all? He actually thought it was possible to talk to Warp and walk away unscathed.

  Eleven

  I shouldn’t have been surprised that by the time I got home, Warp was waiting for me in the living room, happily livid.

  I wished I would’ve taken Liv up on her offer to come play mediator between us again, but I was tired. Tired of tiptoeing around Warp and his bipolar behavior. If he was determined to lecture me, then I’d be equally determined to let him know where he stood.

  “Emanuella! Who the hell are you involved with?”

  “I’m sick of this conversation, Warp.” I tried to walk past him, but he grabbed my arm and turned me to face him. His lips were curled in a snarl, nothing like the brother I had known years ago…when we were all happy and learning to live again without my mom.

  Warp was heading back to that ugly place.

  “I’m sick of you not telling me shit!”

  “I tell you nothing because you can handle nothing!” I squared off with him, having to look up a little to meet his enraged eyes, but I managed it. I wouldn’t be bullied. “Every time Pops leaves, you get worse than usual. Like you’re afraid I might suddenly turn newb and get myself hurt.”

  “This spray-portrait of you is why you need to be dealt with. You’re into something and you won’t tell me what. You’re not letting me protect you just like Mom never said anything to Pops about how fucked in the mind she was. You can’t bottle up like that, Emanuella!”

  “Give me a break.” I rolled my eyes. I loved my mother. I missed her very much. But Warp had a habit of using her death to berate my behavior, and I was pretty sure she’d want me to give him a verbal smackdown for it. “You always try to use Mom against me, like that will make me tell you my innermost secrets. Mom was ill. She couldn’t handle her thoughts. She died because something was wrong with her head. Not because she didn’t share her feelings often enough. I’m not going to sit here and let you try to guilt me into giving you a story I don’t have.”

  “There is a story. I ain’t dumb. I told you I’d figure shit out, and you know what? I already found out the paint used on your portrait is only sold at one store. Did you know that?”

  “No I didn’t, Detective.”

  “And guess whose crew is closest to the locale? That Haze asshole and his buddies.”

  “So what?”

  “I’m just saying, stay away from him.”

  My instinct told me to tell Warp to mind his own business and stay out of mine but that would only ensure he stayed glued to my ass. “Does that make you feel better? Saying that? Coming at me with all of this flimsy evidence? Do you hear yourself? You found out the paint used is sold at a store that Haze’s crew uses. Like no one else could Google map their way to the store, genius?”

  Warp’s lips pursed. “Don’t push me, Emanuella.”

  Don’t push him? I could barely see, I was so angry. Stumbling for something potent to say, I pulled out Haze’s words from earlier and used them as a weapon. “I will push you, Warp! Because someone has to. And I’d rather it be me than someone you piss off.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I’m talking about you looking for trouble.” He was about to blow me off, but I was too mad to let that happen. “You ever stop to think if I get hurt, chances are, it will be your damned fault?”

  He flinched and dropped his grip on my arm.

  “No, I doubt you’ve thought about that at all.” Shaking my head, I shouldered past him. As far as I was concerned, the conversation was over.

  ***

  “I’d offer to skip Government but you’d probably only stand me up again,” Liv said, walking to fourth hour the next day. She tried not to sound too bitter about my disappearance the day before.

  Fail.

  I knew it bugged her because she’d been one-word-Wanda on the walk home and to school in the morning. I hadn’t realized she could be so touchy, but I guess I couldn’t blame her. She’d told me her parents didn’t want to be around her, and maybe she thought me ditching her for one hour meant I was no better than her parents.

  My heart added an extra beat to its rhythm thinking about the reason I stood her up, but I was able to maintain normalcy and continue the conversation. “I’m sorry about that. But hey, what good is a gymnastics scholarship if scraping by is all I’m ever going to do? Study hall is important.”

  Liv smirked, but dropped it. “Speaking of gymnastics, I heard that girl, Wenda, got shot in a drive-by last night.”

  My face became anemic. I know because I felt every drop of blood ooze down my body and settle in my toes. “Oh my God. Are you kidding me?”

  Liv looked at me as though shocked I’d ask something so stupid. “Not something I would joke about, Ellie. What does it matter? She’s not dead, she’s in the hospital, she’s luckier than the freaks on the heart wall. A kneecapping is better than dead.”

  I
knew some of the dead gangbangers by reputation only, but this bit of violence concerned someone in my squad. “Shot in the knee? God, her career is over. She must be crushed. I should go check on her and send her flowers or something.”

  “Screw that, Ellie. She bad-mouthed you behind your back, led the other girls into keeping secrets from you—like the meet-up with the new girls on the team, I say you sign a ‘from all of us’ card and get over it. Besides, she was jealous of you before. How do you think she’s gonna feel knowing that she can’t compete for a long time if ever again?”

  How do you tell someone you wish them well when they’d gone out of their way to make your life hell? Liv was right. Any gesture I might make would be perceived badly. “Wow. It feels kinda weird.”

  “Yeah.” Liv shrugged. “I just hope your dad doesn’t find out when he gets home. He’ll put you on lockdown and we’ll never go out again.”

  ***

  I knocked on the door and felt the familiar warmth of his hand snake around my wrist and tug me into the closet.

  After spending an entire evening fantasizing about his mouth on mine, and an entire night dreaming about it, the reality was rather mind-jumbling.

  I barely had the time to draw in a breath before he kissed the sense from me, steering his mouth to the left and then to the right, searching for my response, which I was only too happy to give.

  We came up for air at some point, but not until well after our lips were swollen and our hands probably numb with our death-grips on each others’ clothes. I couldn’t be sure, but I suspected my Imagine Dragons tee had wrinkles at the small of my back to match the ones I had ironed into his shoulders with my fists.

  Whoops.

  “Thanks, I needed that,” I admitted, and snuck another kiss to his chin.

  He ran a finger down the bridge of my nose to the tip. “Glad I could service you.” He grinned. “Having a bad day?”

  “I’m having a weird one. One of the girls on my team, Wenda, was shot in a drive-by.”