On Edge

by Gin Price

  “What?” I asked defensively.

  “You promised me you’d tell me if there was someone. But now I know you lied to me. You’ve been hooking up with Brennen behind my back! I thought we were friends. Best friends!”

  “You’re jumping to conclusions, Liv.”

  She threw her unfinished burrito down on the wax paper wrapper. “You were in tears when you saw that Cathy whore hanging on him and kiss him. I’d like to think that I’m not a complete dumbass and can add simple Scooby-Doo clues together.”

  “I had a crush on him. I didn’t say anything because it isn’t anything. And seeing him and Cathy together…”

  Liv stared at me before taking an angry sip of her pop. She sprayed a little as she jerked the straw from her mouth before she finished sucking.

  “You’re not the type to crush without a reason. He looked at you and shook his head, Ellie. Why would he do that if you two weren’t a thing?”

  My heart pounded hard with hope. “You think he didn’t want Cathy on him?”

  “Oh, Christ. Look at you. You’re completely oblivious.”

  “It doesn’t matter. It was silly to think we could be together, anyway. I’ll get over it.”

  I could feel Liv’s leg shake from my chair. “You’re missing the point, Ellie. No matter if you guys were ever going to be an item—why didn’t you tell me? Why did you hide it?”

  “It seemed like Haze liked me, too, but I couldn’t be sure, and I didn’t want to look desperate if he was using me as a tool to start a fight with my brother. You gotta understand that.”

  “Yeah, I do.”

  “So why are you so mad?” I asked.

  Liv leaned over the table a little to look me straight in the eye. “Because you didn’t trust me to keep a secret.”

  Ugh! She was right. On dictionary.com under “horrible friend” my mug shot would be in the right column.

  I was never the type to shy away from admitting I screwed up. I should’ve trusted Liv with the news about Haze and me. I should’ve come out with the truth and revealed the whole story. The supply closet, my first non-awkward kiss, the night I spent teaching him the basics of parkour with Surge.

  But I didn’t.

  “I know. I suck. But you’re the most beautiful girl in school, guys throw themselves at you. I didn’t want to seem inferior if I couldn’t even keep this one guy.”

  She shook her head at me, but I saw her shoulders lose some of their tension. Apparently compliments were ways to defuse the Liv-bomb. “Now you’re being a dork. Like I’d ever judge you based on your slut-level. Come on. Give me some credit.”

  “I will.”

  She looked away from me, so I reached across the table and grabbed her hands to pull her back to the conversation. “I mean it. From this point on, I’ll give you more credit. I’m just not used to having a best friend so you have to give me a little bit of time to get used to spilling my thoughts out to a living diary, all right?” I added a squeeze of my hands on hers and attempted at a smile.

  “Sheesh. You look constipated. Maintain the frown for a little longer until you can grin and mean it.”

  I snorted. “It could be a while. I’m feeling kinda foolish right now.”

  “It’ll pass. And I should know. I’ve fallen for the wrong type too many times not to know how quickly the disappointment fades when you have a friend at your back.”

  I nodded.

  “So, what are you going to do?” she asked.

  “I don’t know. I’m guessing he isn’t interested anymore.”

  “Hm. When did you two find time to talk anyway?”

  Being a bad person was a disorder I couldn’t help. Why else would I keep lying to my best friend? I tried to console myself with the excuse I was trying to keep her from being hurt. If she learned I skipped out on her to have a conversation with Haze, I wasn’t sure she’d remain my friend.

  “That’s the thing, we spoke in art class once.” Half-truths paved the road to purgatory. “And then between my classes.”

  “Oh, so this was a preliminary crush?” When I nodded, she sighed. “Cool. I thought after the way you reacted in the hallway he was sneaking into your room at night or something.”

  I wish. “Nah. It’s just—I’ve never really liked anyone before him.”

  “Ahh, my poor innocent BFF.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Hey, shouldn’t we get back? Fourth period will start soon.”

  “Screw it. My Government teacher loves me. Let’s skip over to get some ice cream. I think it’s clinically proven to keep hormones and heartbreak under control.”

  That was the second time I stood up Brennen “Haze” Craig.

  ***

  Tink.

  I breathed in through my nose and stretched. The alarm clock seared red numbers into my eyeballs. 13:27. Huh? I blinked. 12:37…okay that made more sense.

  Tink.

  What the hell was that?

  I rubbed at my eyes and threw my legs over the side of my bed. Holy hell, it was cold in my room. Whenever Pops was home, he turned the thermostat to I’ve-got-penguins-for-children.

  Tink.

  I flicked on my nightstand light and listened. Nothing. I looked over at the small windows of my bedroom and shook my head. No way.

  Tink.

  Yes way, the noise said. And with my heart pounding, I walked to a window and pulled aside my threadbare curtains.

  Haze stood halfway into my yard so he could see over the porch eave into my bedroom but remain in the streetlight so I could see him perfectly. Instead of smiling at me once our eyes met, he threw the remaining pebbles into the bushes and disappeared. Was this some new twisted version of ding-dong ditch?

  A second later, he crawled across my tattered roof and glared at me through the windowpane.

  A single finger pointed at the slide lock in a silent command to let him in.

  Tempted to do exactly that, I held my ground and shook my head. He’d expected this, raising his knuckles as if he were going to knock. Ugh! Calling my bluff was so unfair. He knew I wouldn’t risk Warp or my father hearing him.

  I opened the window and stepped back, resisting the urge to throw myself at him the instant his messy dark hair and angry eyes came into the light. Standing at his full height, he shut the window against the cold and faced me. Frown or no, he was hot as always. Bastard.

  “You can’t be here,” I said in a low voice.

  For so many reasons, his presence in my room was wrong, the most important being I wasn’t sure I could control myself with him so close to my bed should he try and take me to it. God, I was a Cathy wannabe.

  “Here is the only arena I have for our big fight since you obviously plan to call things off by avoiding me,” he vehemently whispered.

  “I’m not the type of fool to let you kiss me in the closet so no one knows, then flirt publicly with one of my teammates so your friends don’t think you’re gay.”

  I might have laughed at the look on his face if I wasn’t worried that it might be the last time I saw it. “Do I come off as the kind of guy who worries about what other people think? My crew is full of a bunch of man sluts who get drunk at parties and make fools of themselves. That isn’t me, LL. I like to hang out with the guys, have a few beers, but I like being in control of myself and my actions. I have confidence in who I am as a person. I don’t need to impress anyone with how many drinks I can slam without passing out or how many girls I can bang in any given weekend.”

  “That makes your flirtation with Cathy worse, Bren.”

  “Flirtation? I helped her with a problem in Trig. I stayed after class to talk to the teacher, and when I came out, she pounced on me from behind. At first, I guess I was delusional, thinking that it was you trying to surprise me.”

  “Like I’d do that. Looking des
perate isn’t something I practice.”

  “Yeah, I realized that after a minute and, of course, the blonde hair flying into my face was an obvious second clue.”

  I folded my arms over my chest. “So why didn’t you hurl her across the hallway into the lockers when she kissed you?”

  “Seriously, LL?”

  “She woulda deserved it.” I pouted.

  “Yeah, she would’ve, but I don’t beat up on girls, even one whose attention is unwanted.”

  “Exceptions should be made.”

  He grinned at me, closing the distance between us and wrapping me in his arms. According to the movies, I should push at his chest and pout some more, but all I wanted to do was feel the bliss of loving him without complications or jealousies.

  “If she had tried to put her hands on my junk, I would have made with the kung fu, but tops, she was just annoying. Everyone in that hall knew I wasn’t interested in Madam Birdlips, except you.”

  Remembering what Liv had said about Haze shaking his head at me, I tried to look at what happened with better eyes. He mistook my silence for disbelief.

  “It’s true. I bet if you ask Liv she’d back me.”

  Sighing as if I were letting out all the steam from my earlier anger, I conceded. “You’re right. Seeing Cathy on you made me feel weird and I overreacted. I don’t need Liv to tell me that. Besides, she’s busy being upset with me for not telling her about us.”

  “Oh.”

  “I told myself I kept quiet because I was afraid to trust her or she might say something to someone on accident. But I don’t really know why I didn’t tell her.”

  He shrugged. “Because you thought I was a man-whore, after you for a game of fetch?”

  “That was part of it, I guess. But I’ve never really had a best friend before. One that didn’t have a penis, anyway.”

  I tried not to smile when Haze frowned. “I like it better when you have friends without penises.”

  I ignored his jealousy, but put it away for smile material later. “I always feel as though Liv is trying to teach me things. Like she takes it as her responsibility to keep me from messing my life up. Like Warp. I guess I’m used to shutting people like that out.”

  “Decay’s like that, too. He’s been a writer longer than me and he’s taught me stuff along the way. Like wearing a respirator and making consistent lines and stuff. I think sometimes, that makes him feel like he needs to keep schooling me, even though I’m good now, I don’t need all his advice. So sometimes, I don’t tell him everything ’cause I don’t wanna hear it. Liv is who she is and you need to decide if you can deal with it or not. But, if she tries to change you, ditch her.”

  “Oo. You’re so wise and opinionated.” I teased.

  “I know, right? Listen, Liv can be overbearing. Heather used to get into fights with her sometimes over it, and honestly, I wasn’t sure why the two hung out as much as they did, until Heather told me some of the shit Liv’s parents would do to her.”

  “Yeah, she told me about this time when she reported a fake robbery just to get them to come home because she was lonely.”

  Haze shook his head. “It’s messed up how they punished her.”

  “She didn’t tell me that part, just that she was glad they were gone.”

  “Heather told me they tied Liv to a tree and left her outside all night so she would know what being lonely really meant.”

  “Jesus!”

  “Yeah. Heather felt bad for her. Said she’d never do anything to make Liv feel alone, so the two of them, despite their fights, were pretty inseparable. But my sister was pretty easy to get along with. If you think Liv is going to try to push you around…well you push back. No girlfriend of mine is gonna be bullied.”

  I felt my throat tighten and I looked up into his beautiful eyes, the deepness of our conversation lost behind one word. “Girlfriend?”

  “Yeah, Manu,” he whispered the silly pet name, and I realized I didn’t mind it. “You’re my girl, and no dollar special, park bench whore like Cathy is going to get in the way of me proving it to you.”

  Stretching on my tiptoes, I met his mouth and slid my arms up his muscular biceps, encircling his neck. I pulled myself closer at the same time he cinched his arms around me.

  Bliss. I was vacationing in his kiss, inhaling the scent of his cheek. He smelled so good. Like adventure and mystery. The unknown lay with him and I wanted to explore all of it.

  The floorboard outside my door creaked and I barely had the sense to break off the kiss before my doorknob turned and in walked my brother.

  Fourteen

  My hands slid down to Haze’s shoulders where I held on for dear life. We all stood there in silence, allowing for the shock to settle. Warp’s eyes drifted from me to Haze with murder screaming from his dark gaze.

  He began to shake, lifting his finger to point an accusatory finger at Haze. “You—you dirty bastard!”

  “Shh,” I scolded, moving away from Haze to intercept my brother’s approach. I grabbed his finger and jerked his hand down. “You wake up Pops and I’ll kill you.”

  “The way you killed me now, Emanuella!? Shacking up with this piece of shit writer…the enemy? How could you do this? No, no, I don’t wanna hear any bullshit you might spew to save your boyfriend’s ass.”

  “I don’t need her to save my ass. I got this, easy.” Haze’s voice was low, but I could tell by the tone, he was ready to hard-play.

  I looked over my shoulder to see him step up to the line. Oh, God!

  “Hey, hey.” I moved to the side so I could press a hand to both heaving testosterone-y chests. “Can we be rational about this for one second? Warp, I know how this looks but you have to trust me.”

  “I knew you were dating this guy. I knew he was the one who put your portrait up, but you lied to me. You tried to make me think I was the one responsible.”

  “I didn’t paint that shit!”

  Warp’s eyes turned from me to Haze. “I saw the lines, man. It’s your signature as clear as if you tagged your name on it.”

  I frowned. “How do you know his signature?”

  Warp shook his head slowly from one side to the next. A typical stall tactic I’d seen him use with Pops countless times. “Are you ignorant or something? You were with us when we saw him painting his sister’s face on the wall. You didn’t recognize it?”

  “Someone took a bite from me—copied my style.” Haze growled. “I didn’t have anything to do with painting LL’s piece.”

  “And the bloated one I found tonight? I suppose you had nothing to do with that either, huh?”

  I frowned and glanced back at Haze, who looked as dumbfounded as I felt.

  “What the hell are you talking about?” Haze asked.

  “Your act might fool my sister, but not me. I know you’re using her to start the war, but you know what, asshole? I didn’t need the push. From here on, I’m on you and yours.”

  I felt sick to my stomach. Five minutes ago I had been happy, knowing that Haze didn’t want Cathy, he wanted me. Now, his visit had opened the door for Warp’s war, where my brother hoped to gain city infamy. Red paper hearts dotted my blurring vision as tears filled my eyes. This couldn’t be happening…but it was, and no amount of denial on my part was going to fix it.

  I remembered Haze’s distance when he’d come to parkour training, like something was weighing on him. Maybe he had seen his signature on the piece he’d gone to erase and was worried about who was framing him.

  “No, Warp, stop it. Just give me time to figure this all out, all right? Haze says it isn’t him and I believe him. Maybe it is someone in his crew trying to create problems or someone else trying to take out other crew competition. Please. There could be many reasons for this. Even you,” I reminded him in a last ditch effort to get him to see reason.

  He lau
ghed at me, his bitterness like the shriek of a screech owl to my ears. “Nice try, Emanuella.” Warp looked past me, sneering at Haze. “Letting my sister beg for you, coward?”

  I held my breath, afraid that Haze would take the bait. “Brennen,” I pleaded softly.

  Haze’s gaze shifted to me, but only briefly. His only focus now was Warp. “You want a huge brawl where the violence will escalate and your sister might become a target? I guess I care about her more than you.”

  “At least you’re admitting in front of her you’d make her a target.”

  Haze sighed, his fists balling at his sides. I couldn’t blame him. My brother wasn’t making much sense. When Warp felt angry, logic melted away to reveal dick-a-saurus.

  “I would never,” Haze argued. “But I can’t be held responsible for what other members of my crew or outside crews might do.”

  “Outside crews? What are you talking about?” my brother asked.

  “You think it’s only me and my crew that’ll jump into the fight? You start a war with one group of writers, they all jump in. I can’t possibly protect her from every idiot out there who happens to take a disliking to all things freerunner because they view your attack on my crew as a declaration of war. Why do you think I haven’t responded to your bullshit from the other night? Why do you think I held Decay back in school the other day?”

  Haze inched closer to my brother, and I was willing to bet a part of him wanted to prove he wasn’t afraid of Warp or any of his threats. “I don’t do any of this for your dumb ass. I do this because I dig your sister and I don’t want to see her get hurt because her brother’s a hotheaded ass!”

  “You don’t know nothing about me,” Warp yelled and pushed me out of the way.

  “And you don’t know nothing about me except that I’m into your sister. It’s unhealthy, man. You can’t try and start a war to keep her under your foot. It’s sick.”

  “I’d rather her be under my foot then hanging with a twisted fool who killed his own sister!”

  I’m not exactly sure what happened. The details would be forever fuzzy. I stood there with my mouth wide open, stunned by Warp’s blatant accusation and the deep shade of purple Haze’s face turned.