Wedding Bells and Midnight Spells

by Sarina Dorie

  I smiled, seeing this fissure in his armor that revealed who Derrick was now. He still worked in a place where he could use magic and help people.

  “You make a compelling argument for the virtues of the air navy, as well as Elric’s charity and generosity.”

  He laughed at that. “It isn’t like that. I’m not so idealistic I don’t see what Prince Elric gets out of it. He’s Fae. It’s a favor. On the surface, the price Greely paid was a portion of his earnings. That’s been paid off. Greely’s willing devotion will never run out. He’ll always be in the Prince’s debt.”

  “And you?” I asked. “You’ll always be in Elric’s debt?”

  “Pretty much. My earnings help him pay the bills so he can afford to eat caviar and strawberries dipped in gold until I’ve paid it off, but my loyalty and good opinion of him is the gift that keeps on giving.”

  I turned and leaned against the railing. The world below kept on passing me by.

  “I’m glad Elric took care of you,” I said.

  He frowned, an expression almost hidden by his beard and the darkness, but not quite. “I thought he was going to take care of you.”

  “He’s been a good friend. He’s done his best to look out for me.”

  “But you don’t love him.”

  “I’m only in love with him when I touch him. The rest of the time . . . I feel affection. Friendship. Sometimes irritation. But not romantic love. It seems impossible that I wouldn’t fall in love with a Fae prince who resembles my childhood drawings of the perfect man, but I didn’t.”

  Derrick rolled his eyes. “Clarissa, those were drawings of Legolas! You were obsessed. Do you know how many times I had to watch those movies with you?”

  “You stop! I know you enjoyed them just as much as I did.”

  “No.” He stuck his nose up in the air like a Celestor snob. “I liked The Hobbit.”

  “You told me I was a hobbit.”

  “Yeah, well, I wanted you to be my hobbit.”

  My throat tightened. I had wanted him to be my wizard. And for a time, he had been. I reached out to touch his hand, my fingers grazing the back of his glove before I remembered this was taboo. I withdrew my hand quickly, hoping I hadn’t set off his curse.

  Derrick crossed his arms, hiding his hands in his armpits. “I think it’s okay. The rubber coating insulates electricity. It should keep our magics contained. But I don’t want to test it.”

  We lapsed into silence, each of us watching the clouds drifting away from us as the ship sailed toward the future and home.

  After a long moment he coughed. “You falling in love with Thatch is like every childhood dream being crushed. It’s that feeling you get when you see one of those twisted memes of Princess Leia falling for Darth Vader.”

  I wrinkled up my nose. “No, it’s not. That would be incest.”

  He laughed, sounding like himself. “In a galaxy far, far away, that might not be taboo.”

  “Felix isn’t my father. And just in case you’re thinking he might be, he didn’t ever get together with my biological mother. He told me so.”

  “As if I’d believe anything he—”

  I kicked his outstretched leg. He jerked it back. I withdrew my foot, hating how I had forgotten not to touch him. For a moment I had lapsed into thinking about him as I once might have, that familiar banter wearing down the tension between us.

  I drew my feet underneath me, not wanting to slip up again.

  He cleared his throat. “A poor metaphor, then. It would be like Hermione falling in love with Voldemort.”

  “No, it would be like Harry falling in love with Snape.” There was plenty of fan art out there about that.

  “Wow! I think you hit the mark! Does Professor Jerkface ever say to you, ‘You have your mother’s eyes’?”

  I rolled my eyes. “No.” I laughed. “Sometimes I wish Felix would recite something from Harry Potter. Anything. Once I called him Professor Snape when I was irritated about something. He got all snarky because he thought I’d said Professor Snake. He’s never read Harry Potter. He doesn’t like books with magic because the writers never get magic right or how bad it is here.”

  “He isn’t like Professor Snape, though. Snape turned out to be good in the end.”

  “Felix is good too. I know you don’t know him like I do, but you heard what Baba Nata said about him. He’s going to sacrifice himself for me.” Guilt churned in my stomach. There had to be a way to change that fate.

  “Yeah, well, I didn’t give her my firstborn child or any of my fingers or toes. She might have left out a few details on account of spite.”

  “You have a bias against him, and you’re going to see him as a villain no matter what he does. Anything anyone says about him will just confirm your prejudices.” This was just like Elizabeth Bennet thinking Mr. Darcy was a jerk because George Wickham served as a catalyst for her confirmation bias. I wondered who had confirmed Derrick’s poor opinion of Felix Thatch. “Did Elric tell you something bad about Felix? He is completely biased because I chose to marry Felix Thatch over him.”

  “No one had to persuade me that he’s an asshole. He did that on his own. You’re the one who’s completely biased. Everyone can see he’s a monster and a scoundrel except for you.” He pushed himself up, as if to leave. “How can you be so naive to only see good in him?”

  Naive? Those were fighting words. I leapt to my feet, wanting to ninja kick him. Not that I would. Or could. I had no intention of touching him. The most that I could do was ninja kick those words from sullying my future husband’s name.

  “You don’t know him. You weren’t there with me when he saved me from the Raven Queen,” I said.

  “Does Khaba like him? Josie? Vega?” Derrick asked. “And don’t tell me Miss Periwinkle likes him because we both know her taste in men isn’t very discriminating.”

  It was true my closest friends didn’t like him. I suspected Pinky was intimidated by him. Pro Ro had actually been afraid to return one of his books after a student had spilled a potion on it and ruined it. When Josie had let slip information that started rumors about Thatch, the staff had been quick to jump on the bandwagon against him. At best, the other teachers tolerated him because he was a good teacher, but they’d never gotten over the fact that he had been involved with Alouette Loraline’s experiments. Elric loathed him, only being civil because he didn’t want to push me away in the process.

  Sometimes Thatch could be obstinate, arrogant, and irritating. But he wasn’t cold to me. Not anymore.

  “I don’t care what other people think. I know he’s a good person. He’s shown that side of himself to me. I love him.” I drew in a shaky breath. “And he loves me.”

  I waited for him to refute this, to tell me Thatch was a soulless man who would use me.

  His words surprised me. “I don’t doubt it. You’re pretty and kind and a caring teacher. Anyone with half a brain cell can see what a good person you are and that you aren’t going to turn out to be like Alouette Loraline. If it wasn’t for her, I think you’d have suitors lining up for you left and right. You deserve someone worthy of your goodness.”

  I lifted my chin. “Thank you. I do have someone.”

  “He isn’t worthy of you. He’s evil.”

  “Felix Thatch bargained his soul with the Silver Court to save my soul. I know that’s not easy to hear since Elric is your patron and this is a vessel of the Silver Court. But it’s true. I would be enslaved if it wasn’t for Felix Thatch.”

  Derrick didn’t sound as though he’d heard me. “He tortured me. He used pain magic on me.”

  I thought I finally understood his aversion to Thatch now. It wasn’t about me. It was about him. I stepped toward him, knowing I couldn’t touch him, but wanting to be close. I wanted him to know I was here for him.

  “I’m sorry he hurt you,” I said. There was so much more to the story. I wanted to tell him, but he wasn’t ready to listen.<
br />
  Derrick went on. “I know what pain magic is now. I thought I did before, but not until I tasted it, not until I was drunk on it. The Raven Queen taught me after she figured out what I could do. I didn’t want to learn that kind of magic. It was what she taught him. Only he doesn’t have a choice about it because it’s his affinity. It’s in his nature to enjoy hurting you.”

  I nodded sympathetically. This was hard to hear. I used my active-listening skills from being a teacher. “I understand. You’re afraid of what he is because of his affinity.” Derrick was afraid of himself.

  “I don’t want him to do to you what he did to me. Maybe he’ll think he can save you by ‘pretending’ to serve her, all the while playing into her hands. He’ll hurt you, and he’ll get drunk on it. He’ll become an animal. You’ll like it. Even Baba Nata said so. You’ll like it so much you won’t want him to stop. It will be like Alouette Loraline and what she did with him.”

  I wondered if Derrick truly understood what my biological mother had done to him. Even I didn’t understand it myself. I had only heard snippets.

  “Baba Nata might have been talking about the future, but some of what she said was the past. And he didn’t lose control.” We had successfully tricked the Raven Queen.

  His face crumpled up in despair. “No! You’ve let him use pain magic on you already? Clarissa, why? You deserve better than that. Prince Elric wouldn’t ever beat you.”

  He made me sound like an abused housewife. I glanced around, wondering who else on deck was listening to this conversation. Probably this was the most drama this crew would be privy to, gossiping about it for the next decade.

  I lowered my voice, stepping in closer. “He doesn’t beat me. It’s always been consensual.” I glanced around again, seeing no one. “And the one time he did use really bad pain magic on me, it was because the Raven Queen made him do it. But he had showed me how to block the pain ahead of time, and we fooled her into thinking he was hurting me. It really bothered him, though. He hated the idea of hurting me so much—of being put in that position—he broke up with me. I was heartbroken. That was the worse pain of the two. I think for him too.”

  His eyes were pitying.

  “He doesn’t lose control.” I touched my hand to my belly where the Red affinity inside me slept, ready to be awakened at my beck and call. Or to be awakened even when I didn’t call. “I’m the one who’s more likely to lose control when I use my affinity.”

  “He’s never gotten out of hand with this stuff?” He lowered his voice as if just realizing he might have been broadcasting personal information not every person on the ship needed to know about my affinity or my personal life. “Never?”

  I thought about the time Thatch and I had been in the hotel in Cuba and he’d needed to recharge. He hadn’t listened to me when I’d wanted him to stop giving me pain to recharge himself. That had never happened before—or since. I could have tried to explain the situation to Derrick, but it would have just sounded like I was making excuses for Thatch.

  “Never,” I said.

  “Never.” He repeated the word.

  I couldn’t tell if he believed me.

  “Well, then. I should wish you luck in your future marriage with Mr. Thatch.” His gaze flickered to my lips.

  It had escaped my attention how close he stood. He wet his lips. In that moment of weakness, I wished he were tasting mine. I wanted what we once had. If I’d only be willing to join the Raven Queen and become evil, it wouldn’t have mattered. We’d both be evil and could be together.

  That had been Thatch’s logic when Alouette Loraline had asked if she could use him. He’d loved her so much he had agreed. He was willing to love evil if there was a fraction of a chance she might love him back. The realization sent a little chill over me.

  Derrick stepped back. Blue flickers flashed across his face.

  I stepped back too now, afraid I’d released something in him. Then I realized the light didn’t emanate from him. It came from me.

  Electricity pulsed under my skin, awake and revived. We hadn’t even touched, but he’d quickened the magic inside me. His presence brought me pleasure, and the thought of his lips on mine aroused me. I was married to another man I loved, but part of me still loved Derrick enough that he could spark my magic without touching me.

  How could I blame him for being impulsive and coming to my rescue when I hadn’t needed rescuing? He was as much my heroin as I was his cocaine. Everything in me wanted to hurl myself into his arms.

  I stepped back again. “I don’t think your curse is affected by touch. It’s proximity.”

  He drew back again, crushing himself against the railing. “Why do you say that? I don’t feel evil.”

  My affinity hungered for him. Or perhaps it just hungered period. “Because the more I’m around you, the harder it is to keep my hands off you. It’s your curse pulling me in like a magnet.”

  Derrick barked out a laugh. “That isn’t the curse. That’s your love for me. That’s what’s going to cause you to touch me, which will trigger the curse.” He smiled sadly. “This is why we can’t be together. Ever.”

  “Do you think it’s always going to be like this?” I placed a hand over my affinity, wanting to keep that ache inside me all to myself. “We’ll always be propelled to each other like magnets?”

  “Probably. His Highness asked me to promise to stay away from you for a reason. I should have kept my word.”

  I nodded. It would have simplified everything if he had. I wouldn’t be feeling these conflicting feelings if Derrick had stayed away—if I had stayed away from his dreams.

  Derrick turned away. He cleared his throat. “We’re going to need to part ways soon. I’m going to have to let you live your life, and you’ll need to let me live mine.”

  This sounded like goodbye. I didn’t want to say goodbye yet. I drank in the sight of him with his short blue hair and matching beard.

  Tears filled my eyes. “We can be pen pals.”

  “No. We can’t. There’s already too much temptation. You can’t visit me in my dreams. We can’t see each other. We need to cut each other off cold turkey.”

  “But you’re my best friend. I don’t want to lose you again. I want us to at least be friends.” The idea of parting hurt just as much as it had when I’d lost him at the age of fifteen.

  “If it would make it easier for you, I can say really mean things and make you hate me.” Derrick’s laughter came out high and hysterical.

  I didn’t doubt he was crying too and trying to keep me from seeing. I stared out at the puffs of clouds above and below us, at the ropes holding the steam-powered balloon above us.

  Anywhere but the misery in his face.

  “Being mean to me never worked for Thatch. It wouldn’t work for you. I’m too stubborn and persistent.” I laughed at myself.

  “I know.”

  I was too preoccupied with my thoughts to take in his expression. I didn’t know who my true love was. I felt so confused. If Baba Nata had been telling the truth, it was Thatch. Only he would sacrifice himself, and then I wouldn’t have him anymore.

  “This is the only way to save you. I have to sacrifice myself for you, just like Baba Nata said.” Derrick spoke almost too quietly to hear over the wind. “It’s because I’m your true love. Only, I will succeed.”

  I kicked at the railing.

  “Remember me like you used to. As the good Derrick who was once your friend.” There was an ominousness to his words.

  I looked up. He sat on the ledge of the railing.

  I shook my head at him. This was just the kind of Derrick thing to do. He was too good.

  “Goodbye. I love you,” he said.

  He swung his legs around.

  I leapt forward and grabbed at him as he pushed off. I snatched at what I could, grabbing a fistful of fabric. As he fell back, I tore open his shirt, revealing the long scar where his heart had been removed. For t
he briefest moment I felt the warmth of his skin, the lurching tick of a clock in the place of his heart.

  Then he was out of my reach and falling away.

  He was gone.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  The Dead Dread Pirate Bluebeard

  I screamed Derrick’s name, my voice lost in the wind. I snatched at the air where he had been. He smiled, his eyes swimming with tears as he fell away.

  He stretched his arms out away from himself as though he were a bird flying. For the briefest moment it reminded me of his dream when he’d stretched out his arms and been flying. But he wasn’t. He was falling. He descended through the clouds and beyond.

  The darkness swallowed Derrick as he fell away.

  He was gone.

  Dead.

  The clouds darkened. They grew thick and full of gloom. I couldn’t see Derrick anymore. The wind gusted, and the ship lurched to the side.

  Men’s voices came from the aft of the ship. I ignored them. I kept searching for him in the sky, above the balloon, floating among the stars. Soon it was all blotted out by the thickening of clouds. Cold droplets of water misted my face.

  I waited for Derrick to reappear and laugh, to tease me and tell me he’d been playing a trick on me.

  He didn’t reappear.

  Someone placed a hand on my shoulder. I started and whirled, wanting it to be him. It was the female officer from dinner.

  She still wore her silver jacket and now the hat of a navy officer. “You’d best get inside, Miss Lawrence. A storm is brewing. The Fae furies ain’t happy with us tonight.”

  “Derrick,” I said.

  “Where is he? We always have clear skies when he’s on the deck.”